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Week of March 13, 2006

You can take "The Peacemaker," "Deep Impact," and "The Tuxedo." We'll take "Gladiator," "American Beauty" and anything else that didn't suck.

Emilio's 17

Yeah, like he needed all that overpriced crap anyway...

This lawsuit's going to make 'House Party' look like 'House Party Two!'

I told you... don't call me SENIOR!!

Maybe this is all a bad dream too?

Thanks Sharon, but I think I'll wait until this one comes out on DVD (so I can freeze frame of course)

There is absolutely, positively no nepotism in Hollywood. None.

You're good, baby, I'll give you that... but me? I'm magic.

This band will go down like a lead balloon

Well, Goodbye there Children...

They can't sell the Capitol Records building! What will be left to destroy in the next crappy 'end of the world' movie?

Same old Courtney - still sponging off Kurt

Panic on the streets of Austin

You're a fat, Botox faced, wig-wearing ninny! Oh yeah? Well your band has a dirty H addict as a lead singer!

Black Sabbath, Blondie, Miles Davis, The Sex Pistols, Lynyrd Skynyrd Enter Rock Hall



01 THE BREAK-UP $39.17
$12759/av

02 X-MEN: THE LAST STAND $34.02
$9159/av

03 OVER THE HEDGE $20.65
$5170/avg

04 THE DAVINCI CODE $18.61
$4953/avg

05 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III $4.68
$1756/avg

06 POSEIDON $3.49
$1283/avg

07 RV $3.20
$1469/avg

08 SEE NO EVIL $2.04
$1607/avg

09 AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH $1.36
$17615/avg

10 JUST MY LUCK $855K
$892/avg










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KENTUCKY FRIED RASSLIN'

By Scott Bowden

January 29, 2004

Trivial pursuit?
The chase for the World title is on, but Scott Bowden wonders if Chris Benoit’s quest will catch on

More than a year ago, in writing the requisite criticism of the WWE product that comes with being an online wrestling columnist, I suggested a strong push for Chris Benoit that would put him on the level of a “Stone Cold” Steve Austin.

Better late than never. Yes, Benoit finally got a much-deserved win at Sunday’s Royal Rumble, but is this truly that mega-push a lot of us have been waiting for him to have? And, if so, is it too late?

When Benoit arrived in WWE as part of the Radicalz about four years ago, he was fresh off a WCW title win (and forfeit of the belt), with a rep of being one of the best workers in the world. Seemingly, the only things holding the Crippler back were his height — or lack thereof — and his poor interview skills.

While in WCW, he floundered for years and was seemingly written off by the higher-ups there as being a great worker who was tough as nails … with a personality to match. Toward the end of his run, he was so disgusted with how he and others were being used that he wouldn’t even watch WCW programming. He didn’t care.

Months after jumping off the sinking ship that was WCW, and proving he could swim in WWE waters, Vince and company seemed determined to elevate him to the next level. Reportedly, they had him work on his mic skills with golden-throat Arn Anderson, and there was talk of putting Double A as his manager. Like watching a struggling stand-up comedian, I felt nervous for Benoit initially when he was thrust out there to do promos. I was relieved that he didn’t cripple his chances of getting over — because, let’s face it, some guys really shouldn’t talk out there. (What do you call those guys anyway? Goldberg throats?) Benoit wasn’t too bad, and over time, he seemed to improve a little. With the right push, the possibilities seemed endless for Benoit.

Side-Note Slam: People who defend the repeated heavy pushes for The Undertaker and Triple H (most notably, the key defenders are The Undertaker and Triple H), can point out the Intercontinental title runs and tag-title runs that followed for Benoit. But as Rob Van Dam pointed out in a recent radio interview, an IC title push isn’t the same as it was back, say, in the Randy Savage era, where the second-best wrestler as perceived by the public wore that belt. (Then, of course, The Honky Tonk Man came along to defeat Ricky Steamboat and all bets were off.)

But that push to the upper echelon of the company never quite arrived, and as a result, neither did Benoit. Sure, there were moments like the 2000 Fully Loaded PPV, when he was booked against The Rock for the WWE title. The two had an outstanding match, with them teasing a title win for Benoit; however, the match was allowed to continue and the Rock won in the end.

When the company went with Austin as a heel champion in spring 2001 and then later swerved us once again on a Triple H babyface turn, it appeared that Benoit and fellow Canadian Chris Jericho were getting a chance to run with the ball. The two babyfaces defeated the unlikely heel combo of Triple H and Austin for the tag titles in a great bout on an episode of RAW. After dropping the titles to the Dudleys, Jericho and Benoit were put in a three-way bout with Austin for the WWE title on the King of the Ring pay-per-view. But they didn’t pull the trigger on Benoit’s push and Austin retained the strap.

A short time later, a nagging neck injury put Benoit on the shelf and out of the public eye for a year.

While there was talk in 2002 of bringing Benoit back early and plugging him into the main event against Brock Lesnar
at WrestleMania XIX in place of the injured Kurt Angle, the Olympic Gold medalist decided to work anyway. Probably turned out best for Benoit: His return probably would have been handled hastily. (Not that they necessarily had anything better lined up when Benoit did return a few months later, but….)

Which brings us to the Rumble win Sunday and the World title match against Triple H at WrestleMania. Undoubtedly, it will be one of the best matches on the card. But unfortunately, I see them failing to pull the trigger once again; more specifically, I don’t see Triple H losing.

Side-Note Slam: What’s the deal with the winner of the Rumble getting a shot at Triple H’s title as opposed to the WWE championship? Apparently, this “World” title has replaced the WWE title as the company’s most prestigious belt. Wonder who came up with that idea? Bet his initials are Triple H.

The company has the next two months to get Benoit over as a legitimate threat to the title and as a major-league star…and sway the public to care about it. In a sense, it’s a tall order — no pun intended — since this push is coming about two years later than it should have. That being said, it can be done.

First, the fans have to care about Benoit’s quest for the title. On the surface, it appears that this isn’t the classic long-term chase. I don’t think many fans Sunday were rooting for Benoit to win the Rumble. Looking a little closer, however, you realize there really is a big story here.

Benoit, a man with WRESTLING OBSERVER Hall-of-Fame credentials, is probably the best wrestler never to win a major singles world title. (When Benoit left the company the day after defeating Sid Vicious for the WCW strap, they “reversed” the decision, saying Sid’s feet were under the ropes during the pin fall.) He’s definitely the best wrestler on the current WWE roster who’s never had a run with the title. Problem is, the majority of the public doesn’t see that story yet.

This is the story of a man who grew up idolizing the Dynamite Kid, and, in one starry-eyed moment, even going so far as to tell his hero that he wanted to be just like him one day. Less than four years later, just before he turned 18, Benoit started taking a bus from Edmonton to Calgary every Friday to train in Stu Hart’s infamous dungeon to become a pro. Once in the dungeon, he paid a price most of us can’t even fathom.

He chased his dream. Lived his dream. Done everything there is to accomplish in his 18 years as a pro. Except one thing.

He’s got his chance at WrestleMania XX.

On the day the company honors their past legends and returns to Madison Square Garden, the site of the first WrestleMania, will they create a new legend?

Now there’s a story. (Hell, toss in Bret Hart at ringside in Benoit’s corner, and you’ve got a major story.) Let’s hope they tell it. More important: Let’s hope it has a happy ending.

# # #

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Addicted to Bad
by Patrick Keller

International Intrigue
by Alison Veneto

Nocturnal Admissions
by D.K. Holm

Strange Impersonation
by Kim Morgan

Trailer Park
by Christopher Stipp




New DVD Releases
for April 11, 2006

DVD Diatribe
by D.K. Holm

DVD Late Show
by Christopher Mills




Preachin' from the Longbox
by Britt Schramm

Should It Be a Movie?
by Marc Mason

New Comic Book Releases
for April 12, 2006, 2006




New CD Releases
for April 11, 2006

Music for the Masses
by M.C. Bell




TV Recommendations
Boob toob picks of the week by Chris Ryall

Kentucky Fried Rasslin'
by Scott Bowden

TV Pilot Review Archives
by Chris Ryall



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