By Scott Bowden
June 5, 2003
Bring on the bad guys
Scott Bowden salutes his favorite heels
For years, I’ve always thought that it was a natural for comic-book fanboys to follow professional wrestling as their only “sport.” Over the years, that theory has held up rather well, at least in my squared circles growing up. It seemed to me that the same … uh … true-believers (Marvel boy here) who followed the adventures of Spider-Man and The Hulk also considered Jerry Lawler and Dusty Rhodes to be the finest athletes in the world in the late ’70s and early ’80s. When it comes to comics and rasslin’, the same rules apply: You have to want to believe. (Too bad today’s product discourages you from doing that — wouldn’t want to insult your intelligence, y’know.)
Really, the similarities between comics and rasslin’ are striking: colorful villains/heels opposing superheroes/babyfaces in fictional, outrageous battles. (And before you old-school marks and workers send me an Avalanche Tyler-full of e-mail body-slamming me for putting it that way, give it a rest-hold. The chair shots I took from the Moondogs, the miles I traveled to spot shows and the blood that poured from my forehead weren’t fiction. I only meant that the setup — the angles (or in today’s vernacular, story lines) — was similar.
And in the same way that you might think Spider-Man wouldn’t have been the same without the Green Goblin, what would Dusty have been in the ’80s without Terry Funk? (Some marks might argue an initial NWA World title reign longer than five days for the Dream, but that’s not the point.) One of the prized comic books of my collection is a pristine copy (at least compared to COMICS 101 Prof. Scott Tipton’s worn-out copy) of the first printing of BRING ON THE BAD GUYS, Marvel’s published homage to its greatest villains of all time, including the Goblin, Dr. Doom, the Red Skull and Loki (and I’m not talking Matt Damon here).
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As far as the wrestling business goes, I’m not discounting the importance of a charismatic — or believable — babyface in drawing the houses (gate receipts). But the hero, the babyface, is only as strong as the villain, the bad guy or the heel (take your pick) who they battle. Effectively putting the heat on the heels will spike the houses every time. In many ways, the heel carries most successful programs, in my opinion.
Here are some of my favorite heel performers of all time. This is in no way any sort of complete list.
10. Paul Orndorff: Not just trying to throw you guys a curve by starting off with a guy who never worked as a heel in Memphis. (WWF shows at the Mid-South Coliseum don’t count.) Orndorff does have ties to Memphis in that he certainly owes a debt of gratitude to longtime territory owner Jerry Jarrett. Seems the elder Double J saw him being used as a jobber in Florida during a visit with Eddie Graham in the ’70s and quickly recognized that Orndorff had the looks and natural athleticism to be a star. Jarrett gave Orndorff his first big break as a mid-level babyface star, and a few years later brought Orndorff back in for a week to challenge for top-heel Lawler’s AWA Southern title.
In a classic sequence, Orndorff sent in footage of him weight-training and jogging in preparation for the title bout. Lawler followed with a taped promo that started off with only a shot of the champ’s mug. The King claimed that he, too, was in serious training: The camera backed up to reveal that Lawler was in a bubble bath. Lawler closed with maniacal laughter and then dipped under the suds, fading from view. Classic.
Orndorff went on to establish himself as a top babyface contender to Ric Flair’s NWA World title on Ted Turner’s SuperStation. In one classic angle, he vacated the area’s singles title to “concentrate on his training” for an upcoming World championship bout with Flair. Back then, fans bought angles like that.
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Less than two years later, Orndorff was among the first to depart the NWA for Vince McMahon’s expanding wrestling circus in 1984, only this time as a heel — Mr. Wonderful — with manager “Rowdy” Roddy Piper. (At that time, it seems Vinnie, while sold on Piper as a personality, thought the Scotsman was too small to be an effective heel in the ring.) Orndorff was OK in his heel role initially, but wasn’t given much of an opportunity to establish himself with such a talented mouthpiece like Piper at his side. Only after he turned babyface in the weeks following the first WrestleMania (during which he did the job) and became “best friends” with Hogan, were the seeds effectively planted for an eventual moneymaking heel run.
Even traditionalist fans who eventually tired of the Hogan/McMahon formula in the ’80s speak with reverence of the Hogan/Orndorff feud. (Hell, even those fans were ready for something — anything — other than Bob Backlund as champ when Hogan made his return in January 1984.) No wonder they responded to Orndorff’s heel turn in a tag bout with Hogan. The Orndorff turn was built on the classic old-school formula of a friendship falling apart, a scenario that longtime fans had grown up with. (Vinnie didn’t abandon his dad’s old-school formula entirely. Some might say the Randy Savage/Hogan breakup was teased far more effectively and for a longer period of time, but by then, the audience had changed even more.)
Hogan vs. Orndorff was the last great feud that both longtime fans and newfound mainstream marks could get into. Orndorff proved to be downright, well, wonderful in the role, far more effective than his original heel run in the former Fed. This angle did tremendous business — so much in fact that it permanently injured Orndorff’s left arm. Orndorff tore his bicep and ligaments in that arm, but didn’t want to come off the road for surgery, as he was headlining against Hogan and making the biggest payoffs of his career. Most consider this to be Hogan’s best WWF feud ever.
9. Nick Bockwinkel: Ric Flair may have been a better overall heel — and better overall worker for that matter — but nobody played the part of the heel World champion better than Bock, the number-one son of Beverly Hills, Calif. Part of it was his extensive vocabulary and subtle pretentious mannerisms that he often displayed in his interviews. When Memphis did their own version of the Dusty finish and claimed that Lawler had pinned Bock in a title match (the champ’s feet were clearly on the middle rope), the “former” champ berated announcer Lance Russell at ringside immediately after the supposed title loss: “These cretins, these humanoids, I am sure will send their tens of thousands of letters to Stanley Blackburn (AWA figurehead president) claiming that Lawler pinned me the middle of the ring.
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(A very large man at ringside overheard Nick say “cretins” and looked bewildered, as if to say: “I don’t know what he just called me, but I don’t LIKE it.”) I hope that nothing happens to the tape of this match. I hope we don’t have a Nixon doctoring job here. I hope we don’t have that. If Lawler accepts this so-called victory, then he’s the cheapest man I’ve even known in sports. Likewise for you, Lance Russell and likewise for these people. It’s deplorable.” This impromptu, off-the-cuff promo is one of my favorite promos. And it was all done with Nick barely raising his voice above normal. Yes, Flair’s insane promos were entertaining, but Bockwinkel carried himself more like a World champion.
Then, of course, there was Bockwinkel’s appearance. When Flair showed up in Memphis for his only performance in the WMC-TV studios, he looked like a professional wrestler trying to look rich: bleached-platinum-blonde hair, sunglasses, and later that day, a flashy sequined robe. Bock usually wore a nice though conservative suit in his pre-match interviews, and came to the ring no-frills, usually only wearing white trunks and black boots, and carrying a small white towel that he hung in his corner should sweat get into his eyes during the bout. The perfect heel champ.
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8. The Sheik: Nobody’s list of heels from hell would be complete without including the Sheik. Granted, I was too young to remember Ed Farhat’s two appearances in Memphis in the ’70s as part of the Quest for the Gold program that saw promoter Jerry Jarrett line up the “top NWA contenders” from around the world to set up a title shot for his budding-star Jerry Lawler. But the Sheik was the only heel who ever got over in a big way with me strictly based on the Apter mags’ written accounts of his exploits. In a strange way, being unable to see his matches and only reading about him when I was a young mark made the Sheik larger than life to me. Nearly every picture I saw of Farhat had him carving his initials onto the foreheads of the biggest stars of the time: Terry Funk, Dusty Rhodes and even WWF champ Bob Backlund. I vividly remember one picture where he’s slicing up Funk’s head with what appears to be an exacto knife. Never saw the Sheik live, but he scared the hell out of me. Besides, if Bobby Heenan considers the Sheik to be the best heel ever, then must have been good.
7. “Handsome” Jimmy Valiant: He came rollin’ into Mempho, TWA, around 1977…and promptly smashed a guitar over the recently “retired” heel Jerry Lawler, who had returned to the Mid-South Coliseum to perform in concert with Jimmy Hart. (Hey, if you had been forced to sit through that set, you might’ve rushed the stage to assault Lawler as well.) The program for Lawler/Valiant was set weeks earlier when Lawler announced his retirement following a Southern title win over rival Bill Dundee. The story was that Lawler was leaving to escape the limelight and concentrate on a music career with Hart, the former Gentry.
SIDE NOTE: I somehow wound up with Lawler’s retirement speech on an audiocassette — purchased for $1 at a garage sale when I was in the 8th grade. During his apparent farewell speech, Lawler acts like he’s the biggest celebrity in the world, and cites the recent death of Elvis Presley as a factor in his decision: “I know you people like to think that big stars like myself don’t even go to the bathroom. Well, Elvis did, and look what happened. Just like Elvis, I’m tired of living my life for all you people. So I’m just gonna kind of fade away into obscurity.”) But who could possibly turn one of the best heels the business has ever seen? OK, never mind the fact that the fans were dying to cheer Lawler — they needed a reason, any reason to switch allegiance. Preferably in the form of a decent worker who could run his mouth. Enter “Handsome” Jimmy Valiant from New York City. Easily one of the most charismatic heels ever to hit the territory, Valiant was the perfect antagonist (and from NYC to boot) to turn the Memphis native babyface.
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Valiant was one of those rare performers who could effortlessly shift from heel to babyface and back to heel without missing a beating. (Dutch Mantel had that gift as well.) Memphis fans hated to hate him, but that only added to his heat when he turned. One turn, which came out of nowhere in 1978, seemed to occur only because Valiant was getting a little too popular with the fans in Lawler’s eyes. On the same Saturday he debuted his “Son of a Gypsy” music video — classic footage — Valiant trots out for an interview claiming that Burt Reynolds and Sally Field (who were hot at the time with SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT) had just dropped him off at the WMC-TV studio. Valiant claims to be high, citing the fact that Burt had “slipped something” in his Coca-Cola. In a weak setup, Valiant then asks Dundee and Lawler to “cut him in” on the main event and make it a six-man tag that coming Monday night at the Coliseum, with the three top babyfaces meeting the Bounty Hunters and manager Jimmy Kent, who had agreed to put his hair up against the Southern tag belts of the King and the Superstar.
Lawler tries to explain that Kent won’t put up his hair unless the tag belts are on the line, and they can’t do that in a six-man tag. No problem, says Valiant, “I’ll just yank his hair out.” When Lawler again rebuffs him, Valiant accuses him of being “a jealous man.” (And he may have been right.) Lawler’s young cousin, Wayne Ferris (WWF’s Honky Tonk Man), who had been tagging with Valiant and had recently bleached his hair blonde like his mentor’s, comes out to make the peace, prompting Lawler to declare: “Yeah, look what you’ve done to my cousin. He looks like a fag just like you now.” Those were pretty strong words back then. All this led to a Lawler/Dundee feud with Valiant/Ferris that did great business and elevated the King’s cousin to main-event status. Other Valiant heel turns included busting Koko Ware’s television set after the future Bird Man won a battle royal to determine the new TV champion and two years later attacking Tommy Rich’s mother, who was making an appearance to turn her son from heel to babyface.
6. Joe LeDuc: The Canadian Lumberjack Joe (billed as “Jos” elsewhere) LeDuc will go down in Memphis wrestling history for the stunt he pulled on the live Memphis show in the ’70s. After being humiliated by Lawler, LeDuc came out with an ax (which he no doubt had used on numerous occasions during his lumberjack days in Canada) and vowed to “take an oath,” a permanent reminder of his hatred for Lawler. He proceeded to cut his arm with the ax, drawing blood, as announcer Lance Russell looked like he was about to vomit.
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LeDuc, who portrayed a maniac to perfection (long afternoons in the woods will do that to you), added to his legend by legit breaking Lawler’s leg when he picked up the King over his head with ease and tossed him from the ring and onto the announcer’s table — an insane bump for the time period. This feat of strength shouldn’t have been a surprise, really. LeDuc had proved his manhood via a series of taped vignettes that showed the French Canadian stopping a bus with his tree-trunk legs and being subjected to a tug-of-war with members of the audience, who failed to break his bearhug grip. An all-time classic Memphis heel.
Next week: the top five.
