September 26, 2002
By Scott Bowden
Brock bottom!
WWE booking sinks to new lows with latest RAW, PPV efforts
By Scott Bowden
When Brock Lesnar pinned The Rock clean to win the Now-Much-Disputed Championship at SummerSlam, it appeared that Vince McMahon had taken the proverbial hot tag and cleaned house of bad booking and the resulting bad television. Like a babyface slowly coming out of a sleeper attempt, there had been signs of life on SMACKDOWN! in the weeks leading up the WWE's end-of-summer PPV effort. (And there's really no Mysterio as to why.) But, like most people nowadays, I had learned to take those flashes of greatness with a grain of Mr. Fuji's salt.
While thankful the WWE's cartoon days (the actual in-ring product, not the animated series) had long been Tombstoned, I'd found myself longing for the mid- to late-'80s, when Vince and the boys had mastered the art of the classic territory-style formula of "booking backwards" and made it their own. This approach was actually a nice complement to their buffoonery. Unlike their hot-shot, lame-gimmick-inventing (Dynamic Dudes, anyone?), pushing-the-wrong-guys (Ron Garvin, Charisma of Stone) WCW counterparts, the then-Fed always seemed to have several entertaining angles building over time in somewhat logical fashion.
Yes, I hated Rick Steamboat's "Dragon" persona and the accompanying promos (which were never his strong point to begin with). But I loved the dramatic buildup of his coming back from injury to take the strap from his attacker, Randy Savage -- and nearly help George "The Animal" Steele's love life in the process, in what might have been the best WrestleMania bout ever. It's all a simple formula, really.
The seeds for Savage's turn on Hulk Hogan and subsequent grudge bout at the company's wildly successful WrestleMania V were firmly planted when the Macho Man won the belt at the previous year's event. Yes, while everyone but the densest marks (and apparently then-babyface-announcer Vince) could see the dissension building, there was a huge payoff when Savage had finally had enough of his vitamin-pushing friend's "lust for Elizabeth." (And judging from Hogan's John Holmes-like panting as he hovered over the fallen maiden of the mat -- on prime-time television no less -- that might have been a shoot.)
By contrast, the direction of today's WWE product -- most noticeably the RAW brand -- is cloudy at best (two Flair turns in three months?), which insults the intelligence of the fans, most of whom really do want to believe in this product. I mean, who's writing this crap ... Randy Hales?
Again, the buildup for SummerSlam -- which appeared to be the strongest card on paper the company had advertised in years -- was brilliant on most accounts. (The lone complaint being the long-awaited angle that served as the catalyst for Shawn Michaels' return was rushed.) But overall, there was an underlying feeling that the week before the show, and even the day of the event, that somehow they'd fuck it all up.
They didn't. Lesnar's push was vintage Vince Sr./Jr.: "I'm gonna get this monster heel over by shoving him down your throat." And it culminated with the lone refreshing evolutionary twist of the 2002 product: a clean win by a heel. (Though apparently to many there live, The Rock was the heel, and kudos to him for playing along a bit in subtle spots.)
The tease of the reformation of DX probably should have lasted a bit longer -- not only to remind fans of what they've been missing and introduce new fans to the concept, but also to finally clear out the last of the DX merchandise at the ShopZone. After all, "Suck It" shirts are probably a harder sell than Big Show merchandise at this point. (Large? OK. In charge? Hardly.) Not only that, but now-graduated frat-boys everywhere were probably dying to reminisce and deliver chops to the crotch in new environments like company softball games. (At least I know I was.) But Michaels' incredible performance more than made up for that. Of course, his interview on RAW, which saw him joke about playing a doctor on TV, while looking like he'd settled into the wheelchair only seconds before, didn't exactly fuel Triple H's heat. However, that miscue pales in comparison to the others that followed over the next few weeks.
First, though, I would be remiss if I didn't mention Kurt Angle's demonstration at SummerSlam of why he's a throwback to the classic NWA World champions of old. (I'm speaking of the real NWA title, of course, not that ego-stroking trophy Triple H carries around. But I'm getting ahead of myself.) Despite the silly buildup -- though with Angle, that's always at least entertaining -- the former Olympian and Rey Mysterio tore the house down right off the bat. Mysterio was rewarded with being removed from the following PPV and given the sweet spot of the lead-in HEAT match. Um, what?
Like an old Memphis mark marveling over Jerry Lawler's pull-down-the-strap-comeback recuperative powers, I credited Vince for pulling himself off the canvas and coming out swinging with a strong effort. SummerSlam was such a great show that it really did remind you that Vince (and ultimately he does still run the show) knows how to put together a wrestling event. And let's face it, after the XFL, we need the occasional reassurance of his genius more than ever.
But then came the introduction of a second World title, which was explained by Lesnar's commitment to SMACKDOWN! and his supposed cowardice to face the RAW competition. Yeah, right. But hey, it must be true, because even wise old Jim Ross quickly agrees with this inane philosophy. Jesus, what did Lesnar do to deserve this? Hit on Stephanie?
Granted, Triple H almost doesn't look right without a huge title belt draped over his shoulder as he delivers 20-minute monologues that almost make you long for the appearance of a McMahon -- any McMahon -- to take the mic away from him (don't hold your breath for that to happen), but this is too much.
To get the title over with the fans, Trips is handed the World title, a championship recognized only on the planet the company's writers live on. The thinking here appears to be that since heel Eric Bischoff is apparently calling the shots, even the most ridiculous scenarios will get heat. Yeah, well, that formula worked wonders for WCW, didn't it? But look, Triple H as champ isn't all about ego, just look at how he does a job on the very same night (digging an even deeper grave for an already dead title) for Rob Van Dam, who appears to be line for another one of his bullshit, limited-time-only pushes. I don't care what how much Ross yells, drama this ain't.
Meanwhile, the biggest story on SMACKDOWN! isn't Lesnar and that "other" World title, but the homosexual tag-team wedding of Billy and Chuck -- and yeah, there is something wrong with that. In an unforeseen twist, the angle -- originally planned for Brian Christopher Lawler and Scotty Too Hotty years back -- turns out to be one of those rare moves that captures the imagination of mainstream media. Amazingly enough, Vince (though actually Stephanie was the on-air genius) is finally seen by the media as -- get this -- progressive and open-minded. Better kill that image fast.
Hot Lesbian Action (not to mention a cruel lesbian beating) follows, but again, that's all Bischoff, remember? Luckily, the media and organizations like GLADD aren't following too closely. Later on SMACKDOWN!, Vince shows that he doesn't quite have those much-ballyhooed grapefruits, as he lets West Hollywood's once-favorite tag team off the hook by letting them admit it was all a publicity stunt. (Looks like Gunn didn't want to somehow get over again after all.) To make it worse, the wedding is punctuated by a Mission: Impossible-appearance by Bischoff. (Hey, if it didn't work for John Woo, what's Vince thinking?)
Sensing that UNFORGIVEN would live up its name, Vince appeared to back off on hyping the company's latest PPV. Or maybe it was only my enthusiasm for the product that waned. Much like Vince couldn't decide on whether to give Hogan the strap over Triple H on a PPV months ago (we would have been saved some bad nostalgia if only coin had landed "heads"), the finish to Sunday's main event was reportedly in doubt hours before the show.
Since his WWE is looking more like WCW every day, Vince followed the formula of past Ted Turner rasslin' bookers like Bischoff, Ole Anderson and Dusty Rhodes when they couldn't decide on a finish: He didn't give you one. The worst part is, it looks like they're building to a rematch between Lesnar and 'Taker. (For what it's worth, Vince is at least partially forgiven for this PPV, thanks to the bout between Angle and Chris Benoit. Let's see: You have two world champs, and Angles isn't one of them? Sigh.)
Hmmm ... is all this a covert attempt to make Triple H's belt mean more by comparison? I'm not the only one who thinks so. The following is an e-mail I received from a longtime fan who thinks he's got it all figured out.
I have been enjoying your column for some time now. Keep up the good work!(Bowden: Triple H isn't the only guy who likes his ego stroked, y'know.) Speaking of "work," I have convinced myself that McMahon is intentionally tanking RAW as a way of building up the "rivalry" between the two "promotions."
I think the fact that RAW has become noticeably worse than SMACKDOWN! is all tied to him putting Bischoff in as the GM. This way Bischoff takes all the heat for the lame booking and offensive gimmicks, and eventually Shane-O gets to ride in as the hero to save the show from turning into WCW part 2. Remember that they set all this up the night Bischoff took over, with Shane warning Vince against him. I think it's awful risky intentionally tanking your own ratings, but it does all kind of make sense. If it works out, not only has Vince recaptured the excitement of the Monday Night Wars between the two shows, but he gets to completely bury Bischoff's reputation in public.
(Bowden: The Bisch did that years ago.)
--Jotham Stavely
Hadley, MA
Well, Jotham, while that theory is as good as any, I think you're giving them far too much credit. The WWE building toward anything in 2002? No chance. No chance in hell.
E-MAIL THE AUTHOR |
ARCHIVES
