By Scott Bowden
May 26, 2005
Scott Bowden addresses Kevin Lawler’s arrest in Memphis. Also under The KFR Heat Lamp this week: Lita and Edge deliver a wonderfully slimy heel promo, Cena solidifies his street cred and McMahon, Heyman and Bischoff rewrite history…again.
As a lot of you know by now, Jerry Lawler’s son Kevin was arrested Monday night in Memphis for alleged burglary. Not surprising that WREG Channel 3 enthusiastically reported the alleged break-in as the lead story on their Web page for more than 24 hours. Channel 3 is the home of newscaster Jerry Tate, father of corrupt-cop David Tate, who was allegedly plotting to break into the King’s castle and knock him off the throne for a jukebox “stuffed with $250,000.” At any rate, the story goes that Kevin supposedly broke into a woman’s apartment in Memphis before passing out in her bed wearing nothing but a red tank top.
Like so many people, I immediately said to myself, “Whoa. Surely they mean Brian Lawler, right?” (In fact, three voice-mail messages on my cell phone echoed those sentiments.) Alas, it was indeed Kevin, a good friend of mine, who was collared. The way the WREG report was written, you get the idea that Kevin was chased from the apartment and immediately nabbed nearby in Raleigh, a dodgy suburb of Memphis. (I’m ashamed to admit that even I assumed the worst.) Not so.
According to the victim, the alleged break-in occurred around 9 p.m. Problem is, Kevin, who owns Jerry Lawler’s Carpet Cleaning Service in Memphis, tells me that he was cleaning a local business after hours at that time. According to Kevin, he arrived home (near the woman’s apartment) around 3 a.m. He went downstairs to check his mail when, as he tells it, three guys sped up in a car declaring, “That’s him. Get him.” They exited the car and chased him around the complex, eventually cornering him. As Kevin tells it, he thought they were about to rob him; instead, they called the police. When Memphis’ finest arrived, the three young men claimed to be friends of the alleged victim, and they recounted her claims. As a precaution, Kevin was arrested.
Now, I’m sure some of you think I’m defending Kevin solely because he’s my friend. I understand that; however, you have to know and understand Kevin. Like his father, Kevin has never tasted a drop of alcohol. He’s never remotely even thought about taking a narcotic of any kind. (Which, quite frankly, is why some people initially thought they had named the wrong Lawler brother.) In my opinion, there is no way Kevin would break in and pass out in a woman’s bed — it’s insane. For as long as I’ve known him, he’s bragged about his sobriety, wearing it like a championship belt.
To be honest, because of the now-questionable WREG negative slant, I initially assumed that perhaps Kevin had screwed up…royally. But as I replayed everything in my mind, the only part that didn’t ring true was the fact that there’s no way Kevin would be under the influence of anything — except perhaps Dr. Pepper. (Supposedly, one of the arresting officers urged Kevin, “C’mon, tell me. Did you break in, got high and fell asleep?” I can’t even possibly fathom Kevin doing that. Again, not to sugarcoat anything: I thought that perhaps Kevin, who sometimes wears his heart on both sleeves, had perhaps broken into an ex-girlfriend’s place to talk things over. After reading the WREG report, it was the only logical explanation.
That all changed when I spoke to Kevin Wednesday morning. He expects to be exonerated quickly as he claims to have an airtight alibi. Besides, Kevin swears he never stepped into the apartment, so his fingerprints won’t be found. As you might imagine, because he’s Jerry Lawler’s son, the local media has smothered Kevin like Crusher Blackwell on many a hapless jobber. Through it all, Kevin’s maintained his sense of humor, even joking with his jailers, “You’re not gonna put me in there with David Tate, are you?”
Until all the facts come out, believe what you will. Me? I believe Kevin Lawler. He’s no saint (God, I sound like Lita now), but the whole incident sure doesn’t sound like the Kevin Lawler I know. Now … on to more trivial matters.
Extreme Makeover: While there were faults with the three-way promo with Vince McMahon, Eric Bischoff and Paul Heyman, it was interesting seeing the three wise men (or is it the three stooges?) of wrestling together in a ring for the first time. (If only Ted Turner had come out of the audience to nail McMahon with a steel chair.) Yes, of course, they all three had their own version of how the wrestling war was won and lost — I’d have been disappointed otherwise as it made for entertaining TV. (While this all was certainly scripted, it could have been a shoot, especially from the perspectives of McMahon and Bischoff.) Clearly, it was questionable to have McMahon reveal he’s bankrolling the whole ECW PPV venture but only the densest marks would have to believe that Heyman was resurrecting the rebel promotion on his own. (Hey, it could have been worse — Steph could have been involved.) Granted, the whole discussion of ECW as a brand between McMahon and Bischoff could rub salt in the eyes of some hardcores, most former fans of the Philly promotion will order the PPV for what is: simple nostalgia.
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Other fans, the ones who were for years perhaps WWF/WCW fans but ignorant of the hardcore heaven that was the ECW Arena might order it because they are simply curious. (Admittedly, I’m somewhere in between, as I watched ECW only sparingly in the mid-’90s, but I’ve grown to appreciate it more since that time.) Most assuredly it will be better than most WWE PPVs nowadays.
The Edge of Night: The latest twist in the Matt Hardy/Lita soap opera playing out over the Internet took a wicked twist of fate (ahem) on Monday’s RAW, with WWE pulling the trigger on what could ultimately be their hottest angle of the year. A week after screwing over her on-screen love interest Kane, Lita appeared alongside Edge, the man she cheated with to put the screws to real-life love interest Matt Hardy. Quite frankly, it was the most effective promo I’ve ever seen Lita conduct, despite the fact that she was reportedly reluctant to participate because it was too personal. You can cut the irony with a foreign object. (Kudos to Bruce Mitchell at THE TORCH for also pointing out the irony of Jerry Lawler making light of Kane’s — i.e., Matt’s — hurt feelings by saying, “What’s the big deal? Breakups happen all the time.”)
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Welcome to the rasslin’ business, sweetheart — personal issues draw money. If WWE creative hasn’t already carefully broached the possibility of a return with Hardy, they should. (Again, it’s ironic that it took something like this for creative to find Hardy something to do.) Some have speculated that this will be revealed to have been an carefully conceived angle all along—nah, there’s no way WWE creative could come up with something this good.
Quite the Cellsman: Also on RAW, Triple H returned from what must have an agonizing one-week absence from TV. They again made their top babyface look foolish by teasing us with yet another Flair babyface turn. Thing is, if they had shown patience and let this develop for just two more weeks — with Flair slowly gaining Batista’s trust in Triple H’s absence — this could have been a hot angle.
And, as COMICS 101 Prof. Scott Tipton pointed out to me, after the attack, it should have been Batista demanding the Hell in a Cell match-up. The way it came off, Batista got his ass kicked after being duped and is now backed into corner: He must accept the Game’s challenge and play by Triple H’s rules. Not exactly brilliant rasslin’ psychology. That being said, I haven’t been this excited about Hell in a Cell since the match-up with Trips and Kevin Nash. (Cough.)
The Rap on Cena: John Cena’s bloodbath with JBL at JUDGMENT DAY could be the catalyst for getting him over on a broader level.
I’m sure most guys like me don’t care for the gimmick—but then I was turned off by the rap persona after years of overexposure to PG-13 in Memphis. Despite the lame finish, Sunday’s bout illustrated that Cena is a tough son of a bitch who can back up his bravado. The guy’s got a ton of potential on top.
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