May 15, 2003
Hey, thanks for joining me for the inaugural edition of Squib Central. You might be asking yourself, “What is all this nonsense?” I really don’t want to pigeonhole this column, but let me just sum up Squib Central in a nutshell for you: If it kicks ass, it’s here. How’s that?
Now, being that this is MOVIEPoopShoot.com, the content of this weekly column will tend to discuss movies, films, flicks (pick your poison), with an emphasis on the action genre. (Side note: A friend of mine once told me that he watches only “films.” He said that he can’t be bothered with “movies.” We’ve all heard that holier-than-thou rhetoric before, haven’t we? He proceeded to ask me if I knew the difference between a film and a movie. Without hesitation I replied, “A film is like making love. A movie is like screwing. Either way, I’m not complaining.” That, my friends, is how you silence any film snob. (Either that or you tell him your last picture grossed $400 million, but I’m not exactly in that category just yet.)
Now with all that being said, from time to time, we may stray outside of movies completely, and discuss such things as no-hold-barred fighting, extreme sports, and loud, hard music, but that will be the exception more than the norm. My goal is to celebrate everything that made us film geeks in the first place (Well, okay, Olivia Newton John in XANADU won’t exactly qualify, but toss in a few Glocks with the roller skates and that would be box office gold).
So if you’re a fan of the Schools of Woo and Scorcese, believers in the Religion of Rodriquez and Romero, worshipers of Saints Trejo, Sizemore, and Guzman, and if you still believe that no matter what Lucas sells you, Solo did indeed shoot first, class is in session, and the service is about to begin.
Okay ramblers, let’s get rambling…
The topic of the next two weeks’ worth of columns will be action sequences in movies. I whipped up a little Molotov cocktail of what I consider to be the top ten greatest action sequences in movies. Granted, only being able to select ten choices is impossible, and of course, with any list, there will be glaring omissions.
What exactly makes an action sequence great in a film? That’s a tough question. It’s one of those things that you just know when you see it. Studios can try to manufacture these, but often, that’s the problem: They end up looking like products (Anyone see 3000 MILES TO GRACELAND?). I tried to select what I considered to be choices that were innovative and revolutionary and are still jaw-dropping to this day.
Before you decide to put your fist through that nice monitor of yours because I left out one of your favorites, take the time instead to drop me a brief e-mail and share your picks. I’ll dedicate a future column to all the movies I left out but shouldn’t have, okay? I promise. Now without further ado, or as Carlito Brigante says in DePalma’s CARLITO’S WAY, “…without further to do,” let’s begin.
Squib Central’s Top Ten Action Sequences on Film List:
10. Bank Robbery Scene in HEAT (1995):
Now from what I gather, there was some jawing going on here recently over the film HEAT. Was it one of the greatest cinematic achievements of all time, pairing off the God of Thunder vs. the God of Lightning, Pacino vs. DeNiro, or did it merely amount to a lot of noise and smoke? Film geeks viewed it as their version of Batman vs. Superman (decidedly, most agree that DeNiro’s Batman took Pacino’s Superman), but that’s neither here nor there. What any filmgoer with a pulse will agree on is that the shoot-out in LA immediately after DeNiro’s crew takes a major score at a downtown bank is sheer poetry in motion. Director Michael Mann uses downtown L.A. as his canvas and never once flinches. When you watch it you say to yourself, “How much longer can this thing possibly last?” and the whole time you want it to last just one minute longer. To Mann’s credit, the scene almost seems like it was filmed in real time, and it has that authentic feel that most action films miss out on (Granted, HEAT doesn’t exactly fall in the action genre entirely).
9. THE MATRIX (1999):
Bullet-time. What else needs to be said?
8. Attack on Planet Hoth from THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK (1980):
Look, when the AT-ATs were attacking the Rebel Alliance on the Planet Hoth, you could hear the collective gasp of every seven year old kid sitting in that theater, followed by, “Mom, I want one of those for Christmas!” Few fantasy films made it so easy for one to suspend their disbelief like the STAR WARS trilogy (yes, back when it was a trilogy, and Lucas still had that Midas Jedi touch). Anyway, the action sequences were a large part of this, because they were so creative and yet so realistic. And let’s not forget how groundbreaking they were at the time (and in some cases, always will be). Remember watching those movies when you were a kid? Remember how any other movie with special effects at the time just seemed to be cheesy in comparison? Kids today can’t appreciate that, but that’s cool.
7. THE TITANIC (1997):
James Cameron was the brains behind this one, so how could anyone doubt it? (Don’t answer that.) No one honestly went to this one for the script, unless you were a thirteen-year-old girl with a Leo poster on your wall. (Hell, it almost seems like it was written by a thirteen year old girl with a Leo poster on her wall, but I digress). For the male demographic, this movie is simply about that damn ship going down and man, Cameron sure did deliver with that. Just don’t confuse this movie’s action sequence with its much ballyhooed sequel, PEARL HARBOR.
6. The Storming of Normandy in SAVING PRIVATE RYAN (1998):
To all those questioning whether or not Spielberg could make a blood-and-guts picture, here was their answer. This is just one of those scenes that humbles and silences the filmgoer. It made me guilty knowing that I was a mere spectator who paid seven bucks to watch what other people paid their lives for. Much like Mann’s real-time bank robbery scene in HEAT, this sequence has that heart-pounding, voyeuristic vibe to it. It’s all things grainy, grimy, bloody, and gut-wrenching. This is one example of why film can be such a valuable tool. Spielberg was trying to keep the memory of our fallen brothers alive, and in this case, he let the scene do all the speaking in the world.
It echoes to this day.
NEXT WEEK IN SQUIB CENTRAL: The Top Five Action Sequences
Squib Central’s Ass-Kicker of the Week: This week’s column is dedicated to the guy at the recent Buffalo SOULFLY concert who pulled that unconscious kid up from the bottom of the pit, saving him from untold injuries. Dude, that kicked ass!
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Josh Jabcuga
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