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Week of March 13, 2006

You can take "The Peacemaker," "Deep Impact," and "The Tuxedo." We'll take "Gladiator," "American Beauty" and anything else that didn't suck.

Emilio's 17

Yeah, like he needed all that overpriced crap anyway...

This lawsuit's going to make 'House Party' look like 'House Party Two!'

I told you... don't call me SENIOR!!

Maybe this is all a bad dream too?

Thanks Sharon, but I think I'll wait until this one comes out on DVD (so I can freeze frame of course)

There is absolutely, positively no nepotism in Hollywood. None.

You're good, baby, I'll give you that... but me? I'm magic.

This band will go down like a lead balloon

Well, Goodbye there Children...

They can't sell the Capitol Records building! What will be left to destroy in the next crappy 'end of the world' movie?

Same old Courtney - still sponging off Kurt

Panic on the streets of Austin

You're a fat, Botox faced, wig-wearing ninny! Oh yeah? Well your band has a dirty H addict as a lead singer!

Black Sabbath, Blondie, Miles Davis, The Sex Pistols, Lynyrd Skynyrd Enter Rock Hall



01 THE BREAK-UP $39.17
$12759/av

02 X-MEN: THE LAST STAND $34.02
$9159/av

03 OVER THE HEDGE $20.65
$5170/avg

04 THE DAVINCI CODE $18.61
$4953/avg

05 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III $4.68
$1756/avg

06 POSEIDON $3.49
$1283/avg

07 RV $3.20
$1469/avg

08 SEE NO EVIL $2.04
$1607/avg

09 AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH $1.36
$17615/avg

10 JUST MY LUCK $855K
$892/avg









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POP CHART NEWS

AUGUST 6, 2002
By Roger Nead

DID NELLY SELL HIS SOUL TO THE DEVIL?:
Seems there's no stopping the latest rap superstar, as NELLY holds down the top two spots on the Hot 100. He's the third artist to do that this year, following ASHANTI and JA RULE. However, while ASHANTI, and JA RULE were only featured artists on one of their top two hits, NELLY is the lead artist on both "Hot In Herre" and "Dilemma" (which "features" KELLY ROWLAND). This is only the third time in pop history that has happened. The last time was on April 15th, 1978, when the BEE GEES were at #1 with "Night Fever" and at #2 with "Stayin' Alive," both from the soundtrack to SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER. Before that, you'd have to go to April 25th, 1964, when THE BEATLES held #1 with "Can't Buy Me Love" and #2 with "Twist And Shout." "Dilemma" is going to defeat "Hot In Herre" at the top any week now. And when that happens, it will become the first duet to top the chart by artists with rhyming names.

The massive popularity of rap music right now reminds me of the peak of disco music in 1979. Disco hits spent a total of 28 weeks at the top that year. The following year disco was declared dead. Rap could be next!

OK MR. CYRUS, YOU'RE #1. JUST PUT DOWN THAT SHOTGUN:
An arrest was made last week for the 1989 murder of Kevin Hughes. Hughes worked for the now-defunct Cash Box magazine, once Billboard's main competition. His job was compiling the country music charts, and police suspect he was gunned down because he refused to manipulate certain songs' chart positions. Sources claim that fudging chart positions was once a common occurrence in Nashville, but apparently that no longer happens. And people say rap music is violent!

COME ON, MATTEL, LETS GO PARTY:
Mattel Inc.has lost its lawsuit against Danish pop band AQUA and MCA Records over the five year-old pop hit "Barbie Girl," which reached #7 in September of '97. The toy manufacturer claimed the song violated copyrights and made people think Barbie was a slut. Now all the boys and girls out there waiting patiently since 1998 to buy this hit single can finally get some sleep! The court's decision paves the way for other Barbie hits, like JA RULE's "Barbie, Be My Bitch" and maybe SNOOP DOGG's "Barbie, You Is My Ho."

LOOKS LIKE THEY FOUND THAT 1,000th GHOST:
This has nothing to do with pop music, but I wanted to say a little something about BUDDY BAKER, the long-time Disney composer who died last week. Buddy scored nearly 200 films for the Disney Studios but - more importantly - he composed the score for several rides at Disneyland, including the classic "Grim Grinning Ghosts" from my favorite place on earth, The Haunted Mansion. He also was responsible for the horribly repetitive "It's A Small World," but we won't hold that against him!

TOP 10 CHARTS:

U.S. Singles Chart:
1) Hot In Herre by NELLY
2) Dilemma by NELLY Featuring KELLY ROWLAND
3) Complicated by AVRIL LAVIGNE
4) I Need A Girl (Part Two) by P. DIDDY & GINUWINE
5) Just A Friend 2002 by MARIO
6) Hero by CHAD KROEGER Featuring JOSEY SCOTT
7) Down 4 U by IRV GOTTI PRESENTS THE INC. Featuring JA RULE, ASHANTI, CHARLI BALTIMORE & VITA
8) Heaven by DJ SAMMY & YANOU Featuring DO
9) Without Me by EMINEM
10) Nothin' by N.O.R.E.

Album Chart:
1) Unleashed by TOBY KEITH
2) Now 10 by VARIOUS ARTISTS
3) Nellyville by NELLY
4) Busted Stuff by DAVE MATTHEWS BAND
5) The Eminem Show by EMINEM
6) 500 Degreez by LIL WAYNE
7) Let Go by AVRIL LAVIGNE
8) By The Way by RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS
9) Mario by MARIO
10) Full Circle by BOYZ II MEN

Modern Rock Tracks:
1) By The Way by RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS
2) Running Away by HOOBASTANK
3) Sweetness by JIMMY EAT WORLD
4) Warning by INCUBUS
5) She Loves Me Not by PAPA ROACH
6) Aerials by SYSTEM OF A DOWN
7) Hate To Say I Told You So by THE HIVES
8) My Friends Over You by NEW FOUND GLORY
9) Get Free by THE VINES
10) Drift & Die by PUDDLE OF MUDD

U.K. Singles Chart:
1) Anyone Of Us (Stupid Mistake) by GARETH GATES
2) Automatic High by S CLUB JUNIORS
3) Underneath Your Clothes by SHAKIRA
4) Ramp! The Logical Song by SCOOTER
5) Livin' It Up by JA RULE Featuring CASE
6) A Thousand Miles by VANESSA CARLTON
7) Hot In Herre by NELLY
8) Shooting Star by FLIP 'N' FILL
9) High Voltage/Points Of Authority by LINKIN PARK
10) Foolish by ASHANTI

My Own Personal Top 10 Chart:
1) Hundred Million by TREBLE CHARGER
2) Open Your Eyes by GOLDFINGER
3) I Need A Little Love by CARLY HENNESSY
4) Sweet Marie by THE ANNIVERSARY
5) 50 In My Wallet by SMARTBOMB
6) Lost Cause by SCAPEGOAT WAX
7) Now by DEF LEPPARD
8) Drop D by LIT
9) Algebra by SOUL HOOLIGAN
10) Save It For Later by SPENDER

TIME WARP: Want to feel old? Here's a look at some charts from our past. See how many you remember!

Top 5 songs 10 Years Ago, August 8th, 1992:
#5) "November Rain" by GUNS N' ROSES. Band leader Axl Rose's name is an anagram for Oral Sex!
#4) "End Of The Road" by BOYZ II MEN. This became the first song to spend more than 11 weeks at #1.
#3) "Baby-Baby-Baby" by TLC. TLC were discovered by 80's R&B queen PEBBLES.
#2) "Baby Got Back by SIR MIX-A-LOT. This hit about girls with big asses won a Grammy. Guess we know what Grammy voters like!
#1) "This Used To Be My Playground" by MADONNA. This song was featured in the film "A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN" but not on the soundtrack.

Top 5 Songs 20 Years Ago, August 7th, 1982:
#5) "Hard To Say I'm Sorry" by CHICAGO. This hit was from the soundtrack to Randal Kleiser's box-office flop "SUMMER LOVERS."
#4) "Hold Me" by FLEETWOOD MAC. Mac's first album to feature Stevie Nicks, 1975's "Fleetwood Mac," took a year to reach #1. The slowest climb ever, at the time.
#3) "Abracadabra" by THE STEVE MILLER BAND. This come-back song was Miller's third #1 hit!
#2) "Hurts So Good" by JOHN COUGAR. This hit and Cougar's "Jack And Diane" were in the top ten at the same time in '82.
#1) "Eye Of The Tiger" by SURVIVOR. Stallone originally wanted QUEEN's "Another One Bites The Dust" to be the featured song in ROCKY III, but he settled for this mega-hit instead!

Top 5 Songs 30 Years Ago, August 5th, 1972:
#5) "Too Late To Turn Back Now" by CORNELIUS BROTHERS & SISTER ROSE. There were fifteen Cornelius siblings, all of whom made music.
#4) "Daddy Don't You Walk So Fast" by WAYNE NEWTON. This was the Las Vegas legend's only gold single!
#3) "(If Loving You Is Wrong) I Don't Want To Be Right" by LUTHER INGRAM. Ingram was featured in the 1973 R&B documentary "WATTSTAX."
#2) "Brandy (You're A Fine Girl)" by LOOKING GLASS. This hit was originally about a girl named Randy, but the writer thought it was too "masculine."
#1) "Alone Again (Naturally)" by GILBERT O' SULLIVAN. This depressing ballad, in which the singer contemplates suicide, spent six weeks at #1.

. Top 5 Songs 40 Years Ago, August 4th, 1962:
#5) "Ahab, The Arab" by RAY STEVENS. Stevens' final top 40 hit was a version of the standard "In The Mood," done completely in chicken clucks.
#4) "The Wah Watusi" by THE ORLONS. This hit, which reached #2, is one of the few major pop hits not to be available on CD in the U.S.
#3) "Sealed With A Kiss" by BRYAN HYLAND. This song also made #3 in the U.K.
#2) "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do" by NEIL SEDAKA. Neil came up with this song's hook - the "comma comma down doo be doo down down" bit - just a few hours before recording it.
#1) "Roses Are Red" by BOBBY VINTON. Epic Records was ready to drop Bobby from their roster when he insisted they let him record this song!

THIS WEEK IN POP MUSIC HISTORY:

August 6th, 1938: That sex machine to all the chicks, ISAAC HAYES a.k.a. "Chef," is born.
August 7th, 1974: J.GEILS BAND frontman Peter Wolf marries Oscar-winning actress Faye Dunaway. The marriage lasted almost five years.
August 8th, 1961: U2 guitarist THE EDGE, originally known as Dave Evans, is born.
August 9th, 1969: Celebrities lock their doors! One-time rock singer Charles Manson orders his followers to slaughter the piggies, and claims THE BEATLES told him to!
August 10th, 1947: JETHRO TULL frontman Ian Anderson is born. Tull goes on to win the very first Heavy Metal Grammy. Boy, those middle-aged British flute players really know how to rock!
August 11th, 1966: JOHN LENNON officially apologizes for his "Bigger Than Jesus" remark. Did I ever mention that I was bigger than Jesus? Just don't tell anyone!
August 12th, 1984: 2.5 million viewers with nothing better to do, watch LIONEL RICHIE close the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles with his #1 hit "All Night Long (All Night)."

MORE USELESS POP CULTURE TRIVIA:
Anybody out there remember 1974? If so, here's a little bit of what was happening this week, 28 years ago!

ON PRIME-TIME TV:
Adam 12
Apple's Way
The FBI
Good Times
Happy Days
Hawaii Five-O
Kojak
The Lucy Show
Sanford & Son
The Six Million Dollar Man

ON SATURDAY MORNING TV:
Fat Albert & The Cosby Kids
Goober & The Ghost Chasers
Inch High Private Eye
Josie & The Pussycats In Outer Space
Lidsville
Mission: Magic
Sigmund & The Sea Monsters
Speedbuggy
Star Trek - The Animated Series
Superfriends

AT THE MOVIES:
9 Lives Of Fritz The Cat
99 & 44/100% Dead
The Apprenticeship Of Duddy Kravitz
Bring Me The Head Of Alfredo Garcia
Chinatown
Death Wish
The Golden Voyage Of Sinbad
Herbie Rides Again
Terminal Man
Uptown Saturday Night

ON THE RADIO:
Clap For The Wolfman - The Guess Who
The Night Chicago Died - Paper Lace
Radar Love - Golden Earring
Rikki Don't Lose That Number - Steely Dan
Rock Me Gently - Andy Kim
Rock The Boat - The Hues Corporation
Rub It In - Billy "Crash" Craddock
Takin' Care Of Business - B.T.O.
Waterloo - Abba
Wildwood Weed - Jim Stafford

ROCK & ROLL TRIVIA QUESTIONS: Test your rock IQ and answer my questions!

LAST WEEK'S ANSWER: What was the first TV theme song to top the Hot 100? (HINT: Despite being a huge cult hit, this show only ran for one year and was spun off an even more popular show!) On February 28, 1976, RHYTHM HERITAGE topped the Hot 100 with the first TV theme song, "Theme From S.W.A.T." The show ran on ABC from February 24, 1975 until June 29, 1976. It was a spin-off of Aaron Spelling's much more popular "The Rookies." (If you guessed "T.S.O.P. (The Sound Of Philadelphia)" by MFSB & The Three Degrees, you get extra credit. That song topped the chart on April 20th, 1974, but later became the theme to the syndicated series "Soul Train.")

THIS WEEK'S QUESTION: Ok! If you got last week's question correct, you should have no problem with this week's! (This means you, Brendan Beltz!) What was the last TV theme song to top the Hot 100? (HINT: it was also the last instrumental to hit #1!)

NAME THE SONG: What 70's pop hit included the following lyrics? "Live a little, be a gypsy, get around. Get your feet up off the ground, live a little, get around."

REQUESTS AND DEDICATIONS: Each week, I receive some interesting emails from people asking questions or making threats. I figured I'd share them with you!

John from LA writes: Can you tell me what VAN MORRISON's biggest hit is? I bet it's "Brown Eyed Girl." Actually, John, Van's biggest hit is "Domino," which reached #9 in 1971. Following that is "Brown Eyed Girl," which reached #10 in 1967. Next up, "Blue Money," a #23 hit also from '71. "Wild Night," which was a top five hit for JOHN MELLENCAMP & ME'SHELL NDEGEOCELLO in 1994, hit #28 in '71, and "Come Running" topped out at #39 in 1970. His 1970 classic "Moondance" was belatedly released as a single in 1977, but only made it to #92.

TS, from who knows where, said: Thanks for the info on CARLY HENNESSY. You should do some CD reviews in your column. Thanks for the complement, TS, but no, I shouldn't do reviews. A chap by the name of David Thomas already does a great job of that in his column, "Perfect Pitch." I suggest you read that!

Somebody who didn't leave his name wrote: You are a freak! How do you know so much useless shit? Well, my friend, you answered your own question. I know so much useless shit because I am a freak! But thanks for writing.

Finally, a young lady named Amy, who didn't say where she was from, asks: Do you know the name of that song that goes something like, "You just don't get it, keep it copasetic?" I believe the song you're looking for is "Bound For The Floor" by LOCAL H. It reached #46 on Billboard's Airplay chart in December of 1996.

Please feel free to send me any questions, suggestions, compliments, insults, or sexual double-entendres. I'll do my best to address

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Addicted to Bad
by Patrick Keller

International Intrigue
by Alison Veneto

Nocturnal Admissions
by D.K. Holm

Strange Impersonation
by Kim Morgan

Trailer Park
by Christopher Stipp




New DVD Releases
for April 11, 2006

DVD Diatribe
by D.K. Holm

DVD Late Show
by Christopher Mills




Preachin' from the Longbox
by Britt Schramm

Should It Be a Movie?
by Marc Mason

New Comic Book Releases
for April 12, 2006, 2006




New CD Releases
for April 11, 2006

Music for the Masses
by M.C. Bell




TV Recommendations
Boob toob picks of the week by Chris Ryall

Kentucky Fried Rasslin'
by Scott Bowden

TV Pilot Review Archives
by Chris Ryall



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