October 7, 2002
By Chris Ryall
"I'm in Love with a JERSEY GIRL," Day 2
I'm in Love with a JERSEY GIRL, Day 2"
Okay, me and the girlfriend’d been in Philadelphia for the weekend, done the visit to JAY & SILENT BOB’S SECRET STASH, taken a phone call from a telehooker while walking down the street. There, you’re all caught up with the trip thus far. Now, it was time to visit the set and see just what this JERSEY GIRL that I’d read about so much in the tabloids were all about.
Near as I can tell, from those fine pieces of journalistic integrity that I’d scanned in the airport, the flick’s Male Lead was sporting new teeth, a fine rug on his dome, and the even finer accessory of his co-star [Female Lead] on his arm. Plus, I learned that Britney was dating a Backstreet Boy or some such, but that’s not really as germaine here.
Now I’d get a chance to see for myself. The night before the shoot, I spoke with Gail, Kevin’s Assistant and Mother-in-Law, to arrange the details. We were to meet at her hotel and take the shuttle over with her and her people. Among her people was a girl from the Make-a-Wish foundation, Missy. The call for Monday was very reasonable for a movie shoot – 10 AM.
Of course, I say that as a bystander and not as part of the crew who no doubt started four or five hours earlier.
We walked to Gail’s hotel, the girlfriend and I, and met her out front. On the ride over, Gail gave us the lay of the land – the shoot was going great, everyone was good…but you’ll be damned to hell for all eternity if you take pictures of Male Lead and Female Lead. Understandably, I guess, because actors are a very primitive people – their fears of our picture-boxes stealing their souls are very real in the jungles where they…no, wait, it wasn’t that. It was more concerns over the numerous tabloid stories that had surfaced the past couple months. The two Leads were already getting more attention and press than they wanted, so this was an effort to control all of that a bit. That damned intrusive press, taking prying pictures of a couple kissing very discreetly…in the front seat of a convertible Bentley…with the top down -- they wrecked it for the rest of us. Ah, well.
So, no pics there, but otherwise, enjoy. That was actually fine -- other than kind of wanting some pictures for the column, or to show Mom back home, I had no desire to get in there and interrupt the proceedings and have people pose for pictures while they’re making a movie.
The other warning Gail gave was, “whatever Kevin says about taking pictures, don’t listen to him. Listen to me. He’ll probably tell you it’s fine, and then the publicists will get upset, and it won’t be fine.”
Fine. No pictures. Besides, I was from California – the girlfriend reminded me of the California code the day before. She was at lunch with a friend when Male Lead and Female Lead stopped by that restaurant to look into eating there. Well, see, when you’re from California, there’s an implied code that you act as blasé as possible when you see the famous people. Bad form, otherwise. So she didn’t even look in their direction, even though the tractor beam-like pull of their combined gravitational force was pulling her head in that direction. Best thing to do was go for the blasé act. No pictures. Besides, I’d met Male Lead before, at the DINNER FOR FIVE taping. No pictures. No problem.
The Set Visit
We got there and disembarked. The scene was that of an old, ratty bar in Paulsboro, New Jersey, which had been doctored to look like an old ratty bar in Highlands, New Jersey. The first thing we noticed was the throng (I believe there was actually enough to be considered a throng, if not an out-and-out cadre of people, locals and fans and local fans. The bar was just across some train tracks that bisected the town, and the townsfolk gathered on the other side of the track, on the opposite side of some of that yellow police tape. Can’t have any wild locals running into a scene, you know.
Gail took off to do actual work, so those of us left, the girlfriend and a couple of Gail's friends and Missy and her mother and I, we stood and talked and watched the scene from the side of the bar, now called SPOILER ALERT! The Clamdigger.
Missy was actually a huge fan of Kevin’s and the Askewniverse, so we talked movies for a while. We also talked Poop Shoot, because she’d heard of the site! An actual reader. Sure, she might only read Kevin’s JG DIARY, but it was something. She was going to be doing a scene the next day, the same scene that Kevin said he’d put me and the girlfriend in. I had to talk to the talent folk later that evening to confirm times and all, but it was looking like we’d be in, yeah.
The first celebrity sighting was George Carlin. He was wandering around out back, near…his clone? Actually, not a clone, but it was George’s stand-in, a gent named Conrad “Connie” Carlson. Connie was a very gregarious guy, and we talked for a while about the movie and whatever else. Connie had also seen the site. Kevin’s DIARY was a great way to get most of the cast and crew to check out the site, it seemed.
Connie pointed out the stand-ins for Male Lead and Female Lead, too. He also related a good story about George Carlin being mistaken for his own double, and he introduced me to George’s brother, Patrick. At one point, George was discussing his scene, and the look of admiration in his brother’s eyes, even though they seemed roughly the same age, was pretty nice to see. He looked awfully proud of brother George, even all these years into the career.
Male Lead and Female Lead came out of the bar, to watch the playback of their just-completed scene. They had a seat in their chairs (everyone who's anyone there has their own chairs, emblazoned with their name) and watched the monitors, all the while touching and kissing and looking much more sweetly “together” than the salacious tabloid stories make it all sound.
Kevin walked around the corner. He came up and said hi and I introduced him to the girlfriend. He also then met Missy and her mom, and chatted with them a few minutes.
Kevin had to get back inside, but we talked a little -- in fact he told me that I was free to take pics of anything and anyone.
I admitted to him that I was torn -- I didn't know whether to listen to the Mother-in-Law, who told me not to listen to the Director when he said it was fine to take pictures of anyone, or to listen to the Director, who told me it was fine to take pictures of anyone. He admitted that listening to him was maybe not a good idea. Then they were ready for the next shot.
I assumed we’d sit out back and watch the proceedings on the monitor, but Kevin grabbed us and brought us inside, and got us a couple seats next to he and Carol, his script supervisor. The area was a bit tight, since it was in a storeroom in the back of the bar, but he made space for us, which was the start of me being pretty awed by his graciousness.
Disclaimer
From here on out, there’s a good chance I’m going to rave about the way Kevin was on-set and the way he treated us. Which means there’s an equally good chance that those of you who already e-mail me with accusations that I’m nothing but a shill for the man will find even more fodder for your attacks. Well, to that, I say, screw you. I don’t give anyone my blind obedience, but if I DO gush about the way he treated us, it’s not because I’m trying to give the guy positive press, it’s because I’m trying to tell it like it was. And the fact is, I was pretty blown away by the courtesy he extended to us, which were above and beyond any actions of just trying to have me write nice things about him. So, you know, accuse away!
End Disclaimer
Scott Mosier was doing a crossword puzzle when we said hi. He was seated near Carol and Kevin, and was a very pleasantly laconic guy. Which, of course, intimidated me. (“Why’s he so quiet? He must HATE me!” I’m telling you, it’s a real party in my head sometimes.) Mosier sketched a lot during down time, too, and he’s really good. Before actually seeing him on-set, I could tell one of the drawings was of Mike Starr. (I didn’t know Starr by name, but he’s very recognizable: I knew him from DUMB & DUMBER, Kevin knew him from MAD DOG & GLORY. Our tastes in movies with Mike Starr have only an ampersand in common.)
I was seated in the other chair sitting there near the monitors. Didn’t think to check and see whose name was printed on its canvas backing. Which, of course, means it belonged to Vilmos.
Vilmos Zsigmond. You read his credentials in Kevin’s DIARY Week 1. So it was pretty impressive, meeting the guy and shaking hands with him, and hearing him swear at me in Hungarian for sitting in his chair. (*Note: that last part might be made up.)
Vilmos…Vilmos looks exactly like he did when I saw those behind-the-scenes shots of CLOSE ENCOUNTERS. Evidently Vilmos is in his 70s now, but you wouldn’t know it: the man is only out-spry’d by Stan Lee, the way he bounded around the set. He was off to set the scene some more.
Kevin also introduced us to Michael Lerman, his affable AD, and a lot of the other crew. Male Lead and Female Lead walked back to our area, and Kevin introduced us to them, too. After exchanging pleasantries with Female Lead, I then talked to Ben for a minute or two about the site – he said he liked it a lot, which, if true, officially makes him the tallest, richest and best-looking ‘Net geek around. Which also makes me very happy. Not sure if he ever saw my big PUSH, NEVADA review (no one’s watching this show? What’s wrong with you people?) but I didn’t bring it up. People’s heads were in the game, you know? I didn’t want to harsh their mellow and talk too much about the site. I did get a good look at the hair, though -- whatever was on his head came from Momma Affleck and not any store.
We watched the scene for a while longer, and, after hearing the words that came to be music to everyone’s ears (“Check the gate!”, signaling a scene's final take), we broke for lunch.
We walked back across the tracks to the oasis of trailers that made up everyone’s living quarters during the shoot days. Kevin stopped to sign autographs and pose for pictures, and then, after we walked back to the base camp, he told us to go grab chow from inside the auditorium (the trailers were all assembled on a school playground) and then join him in his trailer.
Craft services, man. I highly recommend craft services. We filled plates with chicken, fish, salads, desserts) and headed back over. Once again, my feeling of “I don’t want to bother the guy” spoke up and told me to leave him alone. If you ever wonder why I didn’t get laid ‘til I was 19, that’s why. (Her: “Take me, Chris.” 18-year-old me: “Hmm…she probably wants me to leave.”)
But we went back up the steps to his trailer…and walked in on Scott Mosier having a bite. Oops. Kevin was in the other half of the trailer. I was expecting a double-wide, pool tables and Pac-Man and Kevin doing coke off a solid gold floor and a casting couch filled with nubile young girls, but instead…
Kevin. At a small table. With a large stack of comics.
You can get a feel for people quickly, I think. I mean, all along, I knew Kevin was a regular guy, not one to get caught up with himself and demand “No CrossGen Comics!” or something in his contract, but still, seeing him there like that was…it was really cool, even though that’s not the right word. Just nice to see a talented guy who’s also directing a big Hollywood movie (well, not Michael Bay-big, but modestly big) sitting there reading comics and eating. Honestly, I did think he’d need to be with Mosier, or his cast, or doing bigger things than eating with us, but nope. That was nice – we talked for a bit about how me and the girlfriend met, how long we’ve been together, just stuff. A little bit about the site. I pointed to THE PRO on his stack of comics and meant to point out that it had a funny little riff on the old Larry Niven SUPERMAN joke, but my head went blank and Larry Niven’s name escaped me, so I just said “This was ridiculous.” Oh. Thanks for that insight, Chris.
After the day wrapped, Kevin said he’d take us back – we were going to go watch dailies from the previous day’s shoot. Which, again, was great. I was hoping to see more of what he and Vilmos had done thus far. I’d read the script a few months ago, but to see it play out always takes on a much different feeling. And after hearing how solid Male Lead had been, I needed to see that for myself.
We headed back over and went through the afternoon’s shoot. So far, I’d gotten to see scenes with Male Lead and Female Lead, and also with Carlin. We’d timed our trip pretty well – tomorrow, Mike Starr and Stephen Root (Milton in OFFICE SPACE, he of the red Swingline stapler) would do scenes, as would Jason Biggs and Liv Tyler. So, for the three days of shooting we’d get to see, we’d catch every principle, only missing some fun little cameos from [EDITED] and also [REALLY EDITED].
The shoot ended around 7 or so. It was a good day, watching everyone work. Seeing the way Vilmos composed a shot, and the way Carol reacted to the way Vilmos composed a shot, and the way Kevin directed the scenes and handled the talent -- these are the most fascinating parts of the process to me.
Walking back across the street, we watched Kevin handle more autographs and pictures, and then mounted up in the Blunt Mobile and headed to the edit bay.
“Edit bay” is maybe not quite accurate. I’ve been in edit bays for the day job. They weren't quite like this. This place…this was an edit BAY. The room had a screen the size of a dollar theater, with big, comfy couches and chairs. That night, we didn’t see much footage, but what we saw looked great. This IS easily the best-looking movie Kevin’s done so far, and Male Lead especially seems totally in the game. I have to say, as a general rule, he seems to do his best work in Kevin’s movies and not running around in submarines or on asteroids, but this time…yeah, I liked what I saw a lot so far.
At the conclusion of that, it was time to head back to the hotel and go over our lines for the big scene the next day. Well…okay, there weren’t any lines. Speaking parts are reserved for more talented folk like George Carlin or…Jim McLauchlin. But still, tomorrow’s call time was 6:30, meaning we had to meet Gail and the shuttle at 6, and be dressed and ready to go by then. So with that, there’s the end of Day Two.
Slip Me Three Fingers Contest -- The Winners!
It's time to announce the winners of the recent contest I offered up here. The contest was pretty simple -- you tell me your favorite part of the site, and why. Less simple was the judging. See, this site takes so much time and effort, that anyone who replied and praised or appreciated the work we all put into it, I want to award some sort of prize.
Of course, I won't. But I'd like to!
There was a huge responses, I have to say. So before going any further, thank you all for responding. I really appreciate the feedback on what's good here, what can be improved and what you'd like to see. It's a big help, and the positive feedback about most all of the contributors' columns is a welcome respite from the vacuum it can sometimes feel like we're operating in.
My judging procedure was pretty unscientific. I decided to eliminate anyone who voted for my column as their favorite thing here. I loved hearing it, don't get me wrong, but I don't want to look "compromised" by awarding the people who spoke fondly of me. But I love you all.
Then I just picked the ones that I either agreed with or stated their case very clearly. Like I say, there was a helluva lot of good entries. I will say I never thought about awarding a prize to the guy who ended his insult-laden e-mail with "Now give me the comic, fucktard!", but otherwise, it was tough to decide. That said, the winners are:
First Place:
Prize: A copy of Rich Koslowski's THREE FINGERS
First Place Winner: Ben Joseph
Ben wrote: What keeps me coming back to moviepoopshoot? I don't want to suck up too much, but the site's mise en scene really appeals to me. Not sure what that means, but hey, at least I got some use out of that first year university film course. Sure, everything is dandy on the site and the writing is top notch all over..but I really can't get enough of Scott Bowden's Kentucky Fried Rasslin'. I've been a lifelong wrestling fan much to every girlfriend's chagrin. I can admit it via e-mail, where the slings and arrows of disapproving plebs aren't quite so barbed. Scott Bowden's column is informative, insightful, and damn funny. Like the plays of Ben Jonson, his columns both entertain AND educate (see, got some usage of that Drama to 1642 university course too! SCORE!).
Trying to read something intelligent about wrestling these days on the internet is like trying to write a really good, non-played out metaphor. The only other column that comes close would be www.tomzenk.com and while quality reading, zenk's commentary is extremely negative. On the other hand, Scott Bowden's columns seem like they're coming from a fan. A fan who truly loves wrestling (and he's not frontin' on the Memphis old school). He'll criticize but also compliment the current state of wrestling. And he knows how to tell a story in an entertaining fashion. Unlike this e-mail telling you why Kentucky Fried Rasslin' rocks the milk bar.
Ben kinda put words to what we try to do here, which is be "informative, insightful and damn funny." As a guy who's a fan of this stuff as well as the Editor-in-Chief, it's great to read Bowden's column on this end, too. And I'm in no way a wrestling guy, which, I think, is why I like it so much. If people can make me care to read about things like wrestling or film scores, subjects I never previously thought much about, well, that's a successful column. Nice job and thanks for recognizing that same thing, Ben.
Second Place:
Prize: A signed (by me for some unknown reason) copy of Brian Lynch and DJ Coffman's MONKEY MAN comic. And since the third prize is actually more substantive than this one, I'll throw in some other things, too.
2nd Place Winner: Chris Gannon
Chris wrote: I've already sent in one entry but after seeing the headline "Awful Host Returns to Awful Show", I had to send in another one to tell you that has just become my favourite part of this site. Maybe it's the Simpsons reference of the title (remember the newspaper headline in Who Shot Mr Burns pt. 1?), or quite posssibly it's the large amounts of THC still present in my system giving me the giggles, but hilarious titles for absurd news pieces make this one site where the Entertainment news doesn't sound like PR produced bullshit. Now please remember that I will win this contest or I will be forced to shake my fist angrily at you! Don't make me shake my fist boyo! (Dude, I'm kiddin' and I'll settle for the MM book.)
Chris won because he recognized the news we do here. Daily news is maybe the hardest part of the site, and Scott Tipton, who also shares in the copy-editing chores, works really hard to come up with clever headlines and teasers for the news stories.
Third Place:
Prize: A collection of recent Top Shelf Comics releases, including Glenn Dakin's ABE, Keith Knight's WHAT A LONG, STRANGE TRIP ITS BEEN, Scott Mills' TRENCHES and a couple other things. Thanks to Chris Staros and Top Shelf for the prizes.
3rd Place Winner: Terry Morgan
Terry wrote: I would have to give the prize to Title Bout, where the weekly battle supreme rages between the writer's corrosive rage against bad comics and his own withering self-contempt. Rarely has the psyche of the intelligent comic lover been flayed so raw, or has criticism been so surreally vicious and simultaneously hilarious. Bravo. I dig the rest of the site too, but Title Bout staggers to its own epileptic drummer.
I just love the way Terry distilled TITLE BOUT to its raw essence. As good a description of that column as any of us could ever come up with.
So again, thanks to all entrants. And I regret that I only have three prizes to give for my country, or something like that. But some very honorable mentions go to (In no particular order):
Jared Maynard, Marie Merillat, Casey Malone, Robert Gargia, Justin Morisette, jeff Fitzgerald, Ryan McKee, Matt Gardner, Chris Harrison, Steve Kinchelo, Luke Rendar, Josh Bugenig, Criag Parkes, Chad Vavra, "Friq25," Al P., Sean M., Will Rodgers, Jon Allen, Jon Lekton, Jeremy Stein, Danish616, Dax, Steve Freeto, Jon "Mercer" Grassechi, Mary Ann, Crystal Reich, Melissa Warner, Dylan Burns, Michael Troisi, Kelly Cassiday, Patrick Storck, Bud Baxter, JD Hamil, Kevin Jurewicz, Mark Geng, Phillip Palosaari, "Macross86," "Naas15," Terry Morgan, "xboxfanboy1," Teena, Phil Villarreal, Victor Palomarez, Gerrit Van Dyke, Mike Wong and H. Wayne Nix. Thanks, everyone!
Site Biz
Hopefully everyone's had a chance to check out the first installment of ZOMBIEOPOLIS, which debuted here last Friday. I'm curious what people think -- do you like the idea of serialized comic strips versus the self-contained strips (like MONKEY MAN)? The plan is to offer some of both, so I'd like to know how the first ZOMBIE was received.
Also, we'll soon see the return of some old favorites, like ROB'S RETINAL FETISH, SCHLOCK CINEMA, READ MORE ABOUT IT and STAND UP AND JEER. And some new columns will also be starting, including NET WORK, a behind-the-scenes look at an entertainment Web site start-up; YOU'LL NEVER WRITE BOOKS IN THIS TOWN AGAIN, an inside look at entertainment biographies (bringing our book columns up to three), a new video game column called GAME ON!, and even some contributions from MUTANT, TEXAS comic writer/BATMAN ADVENTURES guru Paul Dini. As always, thanks for readin' all of this!
Next time: Things start getting good on the JERSEY GIRL set -- my big scene, a conversation with Liv Tyler (including some Elvish talkin') and my look at about 40 minutes of the film.
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