There was still a smattering of decent comics in January, and the launch of a new CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM season on TV, as well as live performances by the reunited URGE OVERKILL. But, in looking back, I realize that there just wasn't enough solid material every single month to make a 12-month recap worth your time. You'd be tuned out by mid-March. Rather, let's do it this way...

2004: THE YEAR THAT WAS

MOVIES:

The "Porky's Redux" Award: EURO-TRIP. Seriously, whatever sparse female nude scenes were included in this movie were forever negated by the nude beach full of old men. I'd rather see that they hang that low when I actually get to that point eventually, not see numerous reminders in advance, especially during a mindless teen comedy. But Matt Damon was funny.
The "Big-Ass Break-Up" Award: JERSEY GIRL. Seriously, until you see the extended cut on DVD, it's hard to explain just how diminished this movie is in the format you all saw. It still worked, for me, on most levels, but the movie that you were intended to see was worlds above this one. And yes, J-Lo's excised scenes were missed. As was Tom Waits' version of the title song. And see, I didn't once mention my "cameo" as a reason for me preferring the longer cut, either.

The "Walking Running Dead" Award: DAWN OF THE DEAD. Fast zombies are just scary, man. Hate to say it, George Romero, but you're now playing catch-up with your upcoming LAND OF THE DEAD.

The "Slow Zombies are Just Funny, Man" Award: SHAUN OF THE DEAD. More on my involvement with this movie in 2005... for now, I'll just say that this was one of the funniest, and still scary in places, movies I saw in years.

The "Empire Strikes Back" Award: KILL BILL 2. I loved KILL BILL. Loved it. Watched it more times than maybe any movie I've seen since... PULP FICTION, maybe. And I still liked KILL BILL VOL. 2 better. It's not as immediately watchable back-to-back as the first part, and I like the soundtrack to VOL. 1 better (Tarantino even made Zamfir's pan flute cool), but as a complete (half) story, VOL. 2 works better.

The "It Wasn't As Awful As Everyone Said" Award: VAN HELSING. Yes, it was a huge opportunity lost--it was 2004's UNDERWORLD--but it got unfairly trashed by critics who found nicer things to say about Kate Hudson's JERSEY GIRL rip-off.

The "Didn't You Used to Be Rockers?" Award: METALLICA SOME KIND OF MONSTER. Relationship coaches? Tears? Art auctions? These are the guys who named their first CD Kill 'Em All?

The "Do You Want Bigger Thighs With That?" Award: SUPER-SIZE ME. Okay, Morgan Spurlock, we hear ya. You made some good points in between vomiting up Bib Macs, but really, time to stop riding this fast-food train and find a new gig.

The "Take That, CATWOMAN and THE PUNISHER" Award: HELLBOY, for taking a concept that could be off-putting to non-comics fans and producing a fun, clever and well-made film that deserves its sequel. Guillermo del Toro, to use your vernacular, "you're fucking great."

The "San Diego's Not Really This Lame... Really" Award: ANCHORMAN and Will Ferrell, for taking a pretty mediocre premise and making it into such a funny, and often times surreal, comedy. Sublime, it's not, but amusing as hell, oh, you bet.

The "New Jersey's Not Really This Quirky" Award: GARDEN STATE. For a first feature, SCRUBS star Zach Braff did a great job, and his movie further reinforced the fact that Peter Sarsgaard is one of the better young actors working today. And Natalie Portman showed how good she can be when she's engaged by the material.

The "Who Needs Real Sets" Award: SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW. Sure, the movie wasn't quite the next INDIANA JONES of adventure serials, but it was still pretty great. Any movie that gave us giant robots on the streets of Manhattan deserves an award.

The "Proportionate Strength of a Sequel" Award: SPIDER-MAN 2. It was descibed as the "superhero movie for people who hate superhero movies." On the contrary, it was the perfect superhero movie for those who DO like superhero flicks.

The "Smart and Smarter" Award: ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND, for being the most inventive movie of the year. And for finally utilizing Jim Carrey in a way that didn't prove grating by the second hour of the film.

The "Talking Heads" Award: BEFORE SUNSET. The odd appearance of Ethan Hawke's face aside, this movie was a perfectly touching ten-years-on bookend to Linklater's more innocent BEFORE SUNRISE. One of the best 80-minute conversations I've heard in a long time.

The "FANTASTIC FOUR Sounds Even Worse Now" Award: The aptly named Pixar movie, THE INCREDIBLES. Maybe the most purely fun movie I saw all year. Actually, no "maybe" about it.

The Movie to Watch While Drinking 'Fucking Merlot!'" Award: SIDEWAYS, a fantastic effort from top to bottom. I knew the potential T.H. Church showed on NED AND STACY would be realized... someday. And Paul Giamatti delivered yet again.

TV:

The "Does an Emmy Mean Nothing to You People?" Award: ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT. Seriously, the second season, barely six weeks old, is more surreal and just purely funny than even the first. And yet still people aren't watching. If you didn't get sucked in by the "Seaward" joke, you just don't like to laugh.

The "Reality Bites" Award: THE BIGGEST LOSER that THE SWAN ever had MY BIG, FAT OBNOXIOUS BOSS watch was... oh, you know whatr I'm getting at. If anything, 2004 was the year that reality TV was finally seen for what it is--unscripted, unintersting and contrived. Unwatchable? Mostly, yeah, Even THE APPRENTICE, which wasn't so terrible for the most part, so beat people over the head with its ultra-extended finale that no one cared who won. We all felt like the biggest losers for watching.

The "That Old Black Magic" Award: THE SOPRANOS, rebounding from a mediocre season in 2003. This year, the marital strife between Tony and Carmela was as interesting and gripping as anything mob-related on the show. And I'm still upset that Christopher ratted out the rat, Adrianna. She deserved better even if she was never going to get past the life. I just hope we can all recall what this show's about when it starts back up in 2006.

The "Go Away and Stay Away" Award: FRIENDS and FRASIER. And, if it ever actually leaves, EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND. I'd love to think that we've turned a corner, sitcom-wise, and that the next crop will be more clever and not as ordinary as most of them are. Then I see that QUINTUPLETS is still on the air and I realize it's a futile dream.

MUSIC:

The "Guns N' Poses" Award: VELVET REVOLVER. You'd never believe that a band had any time for actual rocking with all the posturing they do onstage, but this latest aging supergroup held their own in an overall mediocre year for rock.

The "Will Our Day Ever Come?" Award: ANTHRAX. They keep putting out new music, new DVDs, new tours, having heavy rock finally catch up to their sound and having their guitarist show up all over VH1's clip shows, and they still can't get any radio play. And yet DISTURBED is in heavy rotation. One more reason to head toward the new frontier of satellite radio.

The "Radiohead 2004" Award: WILCO, whose Yankee Hotel Foxtrot follow-up was interesting, but outside of extended bursts of feedback, just felt like Jeff Tweedy and company were trying to turn off all but their most rabid fans.

The "Go Back to the Five Boroughs" Award: BEASTIE BOYS, whose long-awaited new CD was just a retread of sounds they did better years before.

The "At Least Entertainment Weekly Agrees With Me" Award: Mark Lanegan's Bubblegum. The former SCREAMING TREES/QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE vocalist delivered his best, most Waits-ian disc to date, showing that he can rock as well as deliver dirge-like tunes with equal conviction and power. And speaking of QOTSA...

The "Was Success So Bad?" Award: QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE. The band finally breaks through to the big time with Songs For the Deaf and then implodes soon after. Sorry, guys, but EAGLES OF DEATH METAL, and even the more interesting MONDO GENERATOR are just parts that don't add up to the QOTSA sum total.

The "William, It Was Finally Something" Award: MORRISSEY, who finally delivered a solo disc that made you remember why THE SMITHS were so beloved. Nice to see a singer that actually wears his age well.

The "Turn Down Your Amps" Award: Zakk Wylde's heavy-ass band BLACK LABEL SOCIETY, turning in a worthy successor to G-n-R's acoustic Lies disc with Hangover Music Vol. 6. They proved even more interesting slow than they do when playing at their most frantically fast.

The "N.E.R.D.s!!!" Award: N.E.R.D., who managed to blend hip-hop and rock and roll into a hybrid we hadn't quite heard before, and would like to hear more of.

The "I Wanna Rock!" Award: Dave Grohl's PROBOT project, for finding a way to make that old gothic metal from the '70s sound cool again. Really, when was the last time you heard anything from King Diamond and had any reaction other than laughter?

The "Who Said Concept Albums Are Dead?" Award: GREEN DAY, for American Idiot. I liked their last disc okay, but more and more, the band felt a bit non-essential. Until this disc, which reminds me not only how good they used to be but how relevant and good they are now. One of the best discs of the year.

The "Mission Accomplished" Award: To President Bush, who, for all of his foibles, inspired some great protest CDs, from A PERFECT CIRCLE to DAVID CROSS to TOM WAITS and the aforementioned GREEN DAY. So he's not all bad.

The "Song to Remind Us the World's Diminished Without You" Award: Elliot Smith. Often when posthumous releases are completed, the music sounds unfinished and feels far away from what the artist intended. Not so with Smith's last release. All this one did was make us appreciate the pain that fueled his deeply moving tunes.

COMICS:

The "Written With Authority" Award: Mark Millar's WOLVERINE. Millar blusters so much, between his bet with Harry Knowles to his endless hype to his unremarkable ULTIMATES VOL. 2 book that it took Scott Tipton to remind me just how good Millar can be when you just look at his writing. He took an overexposed character and a book I never thought I'd read again and made it something I'm anxious to read more of.

The "Politics and Comics Do Mix" Award: EX MACHINA, maybe the best comic I read all year. The mix of real-world politics, Tarantino-esque story structuring and solidly written characters of both sexes made for the best of all of Brian K. Vaughnn's impressive output.

The "Sorry I Took You For Granted" Award: 100 BULLETS. After fifty issues and storylines that got overly convoluted at times, I'd mostly tuned out on the book and just kept buying for Eduardo Risso's art. But now, with the latest storyline, "Wylie Runs the Voodoo Down," Brian Azzarello reminds me just why this book is such a great read every month.

The "Chris Claremont Could Learn Something" Award: Joss Whedon's excellent work on ASTONISHING X-MEN. We all knew Joss could write, but his first comics work, FRAY, never indicated he could do comics this well. This is one of those books you need to remind yourself to savor each month, because the pairing of Whedon's excellent story with John Cassaday's stunning artwork is pretty hard to find and even hareder to sustain as they have.

The "You'll Never Get Me to Buy a CONAN Comic" Award: Kurt Busiek, for getting me to buy a CONAN comic, and, what's more, getting me to like it more than most other books on the market.

The "Frankie Say...I'll Stick a Knife in Yer Gullet" Award: THE GOON creator Eric Powell, for creating a book that somehow manages to be twisted and sweet, nostalgic and forward-thinking all at the same time.

The "Walking Tall" Award: Robert Kirkman, for consistently producing two of the best titles on the market, INVINCIBLE and THE WALKING DEAD, even as he wrote seemingly every other comic on the stands at the same time.

DVDs:

The "Warner Bros. is Stupid Special Edition" Award: IRON GIANT. The special edition DVD release of Brad Bird's criminally marketed but stellar animated film only plays up once again how poorly Warner Bros. treated this movie. And it makes me even happier for Bird's success with THE INCREDIBLES.

The "Better Packaging Than the Movie Deserves" Award: The deluxe edition of the original DAWN OF THE DEAD. The copious amounts of extras, the mini comic (by IDW Publishing, he said shamelessly) and the overall package design make you think that this movie's more than a cheaply made, dated and still kind of scary horror flick. It's not, but the packaging does its job.

The "Teen Shows Will Never Be This Good Again" Award: FREAKS AND GEEKS. Especially the deluxe "Yearbook" edition. The fantastic aray of extras, as well as the yearbook design itself, only makes me miss this show even more. Not that I watched it the first time around. Shows like this are why DVD sets were invented.

The "Monster Mash" Award: Universal's Monster Movie collection. The movies themselves aren't always as good as the imagery in them, but the new DVD releases of DRACULA, FRANKENSTEIN, THE WOLFMAN, and now THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON and others are so packed with movies and features that they're all worth having.

The "Hey, Is That a Movie Poop Shoot Jersey Kevin's Wearing?" Award: CLERKS X, which, sure, I'm biased, but the extra features on this movie remind you why that little '94 flick still resonates so strongly. And it gives me hope that Smith will be able to do the same as Linklater and recapture the magic of ten years ago with the sequel.

The "One Set to Rule Them All" Award: LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING deluxe DVD. I might never find the time to watch all the extras on the three deluxe LOTR releases, but whenever I've seen anything on these discs, they all help emphasize what a spectacular acheivement this trilogy is.

BOOKS:

The "God Bless the Daily Show" Award: AMERICA: THE BOOK. It not only made me laugh on pretty much every page, but it made me almost miss reading high school textbooks. Not that they were ever this much fun. And the audio book is a completely different, and equally funny, experience.

The "It's About Time, Charlie Brown" Award: Fantagraphics's PEANUTS reprints. Releasing every single strip Schulz ever produced in chronological order has been a long time in coming, but luckily, it's all been worth the wait. The first two volumes, 1950-1952 and 1953-1954, just make me want the other volumes now. Even if it requires a new bookcase to house 'em all.

The "No Pictures, Please" Award: Greg Rucka's A GENTLEMAN'S GAME, the novel spun off of his QUEEN & COUNTRY comic. As good as the comic typically is, the book, which will affect future Q& C storylines, was heads above anything Rucka's done before in comics or in prose.

The "Don't Screw Up This Twist Ending, M. Night" Award: LIFE OF PI, a perfect book to read while honeymooning on a tropical island. And solid material for Shyamalan's next movie. Much better and deeper than its premise of "a boy and a tiger in a lifeboat" would seem. And it manages to make all religions seem sensible and ridiculous at the same time.

The "You Talk Pretty Today" Award: David Sedaris's audio book for ME TALK PRETTY ONE DAY. Some audio books, like the Daily Show AMERICA book, prove that the print version is better than anything you can listen to. Not so with Sedaris, whose droll delivery of already funny material is even when he's reading it himself.

The "I Miss the Subtlety of a Grisham Novel" Award: THE DA VINCI CODE by Dan Brown. Why did this book explode on the charts? Was it the hackneyed plots? The forced and easily resolved cliffhangers at every chapter? The contrived coincidences? The Summer movie-ready characterization? I read it, and I liked the ideas in the background of the story, but as a narrative, it was such a dud. And sadly, it'll no doubt be dumbed down even more when it's made into a movie.

VIDEO GAMES:

The "If You Want Deep Gaming Insight, read GAME ON!" Award: I didn't seem to have a lot of time to play video games this year, so, really, all I can speak of is SPIDER-MAN 2 and GRAND THEFT AUTO: SAN ANDREAS. But between being able to web-swing all over Manhattan in the former and cruising around an LA-like town in my jetpack on the latter, that's really all I needed.

Rumors are that the next HULK game will offer similar free roaming, which is a great idea. If ever a game and a character was intended for mindless, random carnage... let's hope all games follow suit. Finishing missions is so passe...

MOVIE POOP SHOOT:

It's always impossible to thank or mention everyone who makes this site what it is (30 months running now). Well, it's not impossible, but it might get tedious to all of you. The great thing about being able to run this site even still is the fact that nothing runs here that I'm not happy with. Meaning I don't have to pick my favorite column or feature, because at times, they're all my favorites. So this is just a quick note of thanks to all the endlessly valuable contributors, and to all of you supporters as well. You'll note that I didn't work in plugs above for IDW's comics in the COMICS recap, and I've tried my best to not let my duties at that job affect this site. I like it just like it is, so 2005 will be much more of the same, of course. As well as a new look for the site timed to coincide with out three-year anniversary (June 17, 2005).

So, all of that said, I nonetheless want to mention our 2004 MVP: Scott Tipton. Honestly, this site wouldn't be anywhere near the daily draw that it is without his massive contributions, too. Scott not only delivers the excellent, extremely popular COMICS 101 column every single week, but he contributes 90% of the daily news headlines and teasers, and finds time to provide a column's worth of responses to reader e-mails in the weekly MAIL SHOOT, too. He's been here with me since the start, and is the site's voice of reason, sounding board and best friend. As much as I want to mention my appreciation for everyone else's work here, he deserves a special commendation. So here's to you, Professor.

Because this all ran so long, I think I'll let it stand for two weeks. I'll be back "live" on Monday, January 10. Until then, we'll of course be here live every day, and I'll still be doing my weekly TV RECOMMENDATIONS as well as the weekly MAIL SHOOT with Scott Tipton every Monday, too.

And finally...

MY FAVORITE 2004 MOMENT:

My wedding day on April 3, of course. When you're into the idea, and the person you're marrying, there's really no better way to spend a day. Or a life.

Happy New Year to all of you. See you in 2005!

/chris

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