By Josh Jabcuga
February 18, 2003
Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) will broadcast its 41st pay-per-view event live from Atlantic City Boardwalk Hall on Friday, February 28, at 10 p.m. EST. The show, billed officially as UFC 41: ONSLAUGHT, marks the return of everybody’s favorite trash-talking, beer-guzzling bully to cable, David “Tank” Abbott (if you thought I was referring to Stone Cold Steve Austin, well, you were close, but that’s a different show all together).
The promotion is coming off the spectacular UFC 40: VENDETTA, which not only saw Tito Ortiz manhandle Ken Shamrock, but also featured top notch production values, namely the video packages that hype the matches and introduce the fighters. I’m sure that even Vince McMahon was impressed with the presentation of the show, which came across as slick, professional, and most importantly, major league. Viewing that show, it was clear that UFC is investing a ton of money into reestablishing its presence on cable networks. Now they’ve gone one step further by resigning Tank Abbott, with a mixed martial arts (MMA) record of 8-7-0, who will be squaring off at ONSLAUGHT against Frank Mir, with a MMA record of 4-1-0.
Tank Abbott represents the classic American story. No, really, quit laughing. Here is a guy who went from being nothing more than a menace to society at the local Huntington Beach, CA, watering holes to being the star attraction of a pay-per-view event, which I’m sure a lot of us will pony up our hard earned cash for. Look, I’m not saying this guy is the second coming of Hulk Hogan (or even Mr. T, for that matter), but let’s give props where props are due: Abbott has been around since UFC 6, which took place in July 1995. Since then, he has gone on to make some big coin with several high profile fights (although met with disappointing results) and even a stint in World Championship Wrestling (which, due to creative mishandling, was a huge dud). Still, Tank didn’t have to worry about scrounging up enough cash to pay for his Coronas anymore.
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What is it about this guy? How did he make it this far? Can he fight? Oh yeah, he can tussle, we know that much, but so what? His record is inconsistent, his drive is often sketchy, and his conditioning, like many fighters, is often dictated by his own sense of self-confidence, and boy, does Tank have a lot of that. The secret appeal to Tank Abbott, though, is his character, and he certainly knows how to play it up. I witnessed that first hand in Buffalo, N.Y., when Tank was a guest spectator at a UFC event. Tank was playing it up to the crowd to the point where many eyes had shifted away from the action in the Octagon to the ringside area where he was sitting.
When it comes to his in-ring abilities, it’s often difficult to predict what you’ll get out of Abbott. Sometimes I wonder if even he knows exactly what he’s going to do. But along with playing up his character (which, if according to his mile long wrap sheet, is mostly authentic), the man is smart enough to know what the public is paying to see: they want blood, and Abbott is happy to oblige.
Who will win the fight between Abbott and Mir? There is no sure-bet winner, in my opinion. Will Frank Mir be a mere punching bag for Tank? That’s hard to call. While it’s very easy to say there would be tougher opponents to pair off with Abbott, Mir is no slouch. Mir is twenty-three years old, a jiu-jitsu trained fighter out of Las Vegas, and he should weigh in somewhere around 240 lbs. He loves the submissions. Loves ‘em.
Tank, on the other hand, likes to throw around those jackhammer fists. Primarily a striker, he is coming in at about 253 lbs., and word has it he’s been very disciplined with his training for this fight. He’s also closing in on his thirty-eighth birthday, so his pro fighting days should be well behind him.
Is UFC going to get any longevity out of their deal with the Tank? Most likely, no. Will Frank Mir become a major player for UFC if he beats Abbott? Not necessarily, just ask Scott Ferrozzo. Who? Ferrozzo beat Abbott via decision UFC 11. So a victory over Abbott won’t automatically create a new star for UFC to bank on.
Basically, Tank will be nothing more than a one or, at best, two show pay-off for UFC, with hopes that all those sick, twisted, rabid fans out there who crave blood will pay once again to see someone get fed to the lions. For those of us with any integrity, with self respect, who have spent hour upon hour training at the dojos, learning self discipline, honing fighting techniques in an honorable fashion, Tank Abbott is often looked down upon with disdain, as being someone who defecates on the time-honored traditions of martial arts. Will I pay to watch Tank mock everything I love? You’d better believe it. Crack open the Coronas and bring on the lions!
Josh Jabcuga previously contributed a review of HBO’s THE SMASHING MACHINE to Movie Poop Shoot.com.
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