MAIL SHOOT

October 4, 2004

COMICS 101 is Now in Session

Keith E. writes: I just finished reading part two of your series on Mark Gruenwald. It so happens that Captain America was my introduction to comics. A subscription was given to me twenty years ago as a gift, and I’ve been reading it ever since. Some of the early portion of my collection is missing and banged up (I started it when I was 12 and didn’t really know about preserving the books), but I have Mark Gruenwald’s entire run. I have to say that I don’t exactly share all of your affection for his writing on Cap. I don’t remember having any problems with the speechifying that you referred to (though I haven’t read those old issues in quite awhile), but I do remember having other problems with his work.

In 1989, thanks to the Tim Burton Batman film, I started reading other books besides Cap (mostly Batman titles, naturally). Perhaps it was the differences in the characters (or possibly the companies), but I remember thinking that Gruenwald’s dialogue paled in comparison to the other writers I was reading at the time. His dialogue frequently struck me as being behind the times (i.e. unnatural) and occasionally immature, given that adults were speaking. One specific instance I recall was towards the end of his run (Dave Hoover was doing the art at the time) and he was gearing up for the whole "Death of Cap" arc. There was a scene where two gay-bashers were threatening some men who were set up to be gay (presumably because they had just rented "The Crying Game," not because Gruenwald ever came right out and said it), and the gay bashers were taunting them with lines like: “Are you a couple of fancy men? ‘Cause if you are, then we’ll have to kick you in the pansy-pants. Like so!” Things like that struck me as very odd, especially since sexuality was discussed far more naturally and frankly in Peter David’s run on The Incredible Hulk. David even went as far as to address homosexuality head-on in Speedfreek’s first appearances.

My other issue was that Grunewald loved his thought balloons. I remember reading his response to someone who suggested caption boxes (a very common practice in Batman titles at the time, and pretty much SOP nowadays). He said that he liked telling the readers exactly what was on the character’s mind, and from whose character we were hearing the point-of-view. I can respect that idea, but I think he sometimes got carried away with it. Personally, I think thought balloons are a little too cartoonish and obtrusive, whereas caption boxes can blend in nicely with backgrounds. Plus, the caption boxes would force the writer to be concise (with Brian Michael Bendis being a fairly obvious, but acceptable, exception).

Lest you think this letter is simply me ragging on what I didn’t like about Gruenwald’s work, it’s not. Your detailed look at the "Captain America No More" storyline made me think about the things I admired about his work, and that in a few cases such as this one, he really was ahead of the curve. I admired his plotting far more than his dialogue. And the more I think about it, the more effective his efforts were to shake up Cap than other later and higher profile attempts that some other characters went through. Once the death of Superman got the wagon rolling, it seemed like the hip thing to do was to bring in some brand new character (like Doomsday for Superman or Bane for Batman) and have him just beat the snot out of the hero to put him out of commission. Batman’s variation of Bane having an already exhausted Batman run his gauntlet of enemies first was only mildly diverting compared to Superman. But Gruenwald beat them all to the punch with "Captain America No More," and he did it, ultimately, using the Red Skull. But beyond that, it was a perfectly legitimate stripping of Cap’s shield that involved more of an internal struggle within Cap rather than an incredibly boring and cliche slugfest. Ironically, Gruenwald would jump on the '90s bandwagon by having Cap die as his last arc, but even then, he did it in a much more plausible and interesting way. He theorized that the Super Soldier Serum could easily have outlasted its effectiveness and began to break down. In retrospect, that was a brilliant piece of plotting. And he bucked the trend, too, by having Cap go quietly, as opposed to in battle. And quite honestly, I was very interested to see where it would go from there (would Jack Flag or Free Spirit have taken the reins?) had Gruenwald stayed.

And your column made me think about several storylines beyond "Captain America No More" that I admired in terms of plot. Some personal favorites were the introduction and development of D-Man, "The Bloodstone Hunt," and "Streets of Poison." Interestingly enough, your column has made me really want to go back and revisit some of those old storylines from Gruenwald’s run. I’m starting to think that perhaps, with a new perspective and the passage of some time, maybe I can look at his work differently and get beyond the things that I didn’t like and focus on more of what I did like. Ironic, too, that this comes at a time when I find my interest in comics waning. These days, I’m tending towards stuff like Powers, Daredevil, Green Arrow, and only a couple of Batman titles (though "Hush" left me very disappointed, and I don’t like the upcoming inter-title crossover stuff). But I still read Captain America. I’m kind of wondering where they’re going, now that Cap’s no longer under the Marvel Knights banner (which was okay, though the early post-9/11 issues were a lot better than the recent stuff).

This has gotten incredibly long-winded, I know, and I’m sure I’m not telling you much that you don’t already know. But I read your column fairly regularly, and while I’ve always enjoyed it immensely, one never actually got me thinking like this one, and I guess I wanted to share it with you, since you so regularly share your thoughts with us. Mark Gruenwald seems to be someone who had a profound influence on you, and through your tribute to him, you’ve made me want to go back and take a second look at his work. For me, Captain America was never better as a total package than when Mark Waid wrote it. But I have to say that I think there is a lot of merit in revisiting Gruenwald’s work, and I’m eager to take another look. Who’dathunkit?

Thanks for providing the spark, and keep up the great work!

Tipton: There's no denying that Gruenwald's dialogue was probably the weakest aspect of his writing. He was very much of the "old-school" frame of mind, with not a lot of pizzazz in the witty repartee. It's really no surprise when you think about his biggest influence, DC's Gardner Fox, who devoted practically zero attention to developing characterization through dialogue, especially in his work on the extremely plot-driven JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA. Gruenwald faithfully followed that in his comics work, utilizing dialogue primarily as a device to further the plot. A plotter first, Grunewald had themes and points of view he wanted to make with his stories, and it seems to me that he thought of dialogue as merely a means of getting them across.

It should also be noted that Gruenwald thought of his work as primarily, while not solely, juvenile literature, and I think he intentionally simplified his dialogue for that very reason, especially in his later work.

I personally won't quibble with Gruenwald's fondness for the thought balloon, as I personally find the first-person-narrative-caption-box device to be just as cliched and unnatural, particularly after its overuse in recent years. I say either give us third-person omniscient narrative, or take the tougher approach and don't, as Alan Moore does in, say, WATCHMEN or V FOR VENDETTA.

I agree; both the "Bloodstone Hunt" and his final Cap storyline are underrated. And Mark Waid's initial Cap run stands as a high point for the character, no question.

Nick writes: just finished reading your Comics 101 article on Mark Gruenwald's Captain America No More storyarc, you wrote a great article as always.

I'm 27 years old, so I guess I was about 12 when these issues were coming out, and I remember being absolutely shocked and upset when I read Cap # 332. That is the only comic that I've ever read that I can actually remember where I was when I read it.

IMO most of Mark Gruenwald's run on Cap was great, and its due to those issues that Cap will always be my favorite character. I'll always have a soft spot for the John Walker character too, because of how well he wrote him. Heck, I just bought Invaders #1 and #2 (which were awful BTW) due to Gruenwald.

Anway, keep up the great articles, I'm really looking forward to your review of Squadron Supreme. That and Dark Knight Returns are one and two on my bookshelf as the comics that I'm most proud to own.

Besides the things that you've mentioned, what else has he written? I'm pretty sure that he wrote some New Universe stuff, but I'm not sure what.

Its a shame that Mark Gruenwald didn’t write more, because between Captain America and Squadron Supreme, he proved that he was one of the best ever.

Tipton: D.P. 7 was another Gruenwald favorite, as was QUASAR. There was also an early run on MARVEL TWO-IN-ONE, co-written with Ralph Macchio, that was pretty good. It was collected in trade for awhile as THE PROJECT PEGASUS SAGA.

Jim S. writes: I've been reading your column for awhile now, and have welcomed the deeper explorations into the life and times of many of my favorite comic heroes.

I have wanted to write many times but work and having a family have left me precious little time to write in, let alone keep up with things I love, like reading and collecting comics (it's funny how a mortgage, car payments, feeding and clothing a kid, and generally being an adult can put a dent in the comic fund, to which my adolescent income was almost solely dedicated).

Anyway, I digress....

After recently reading your column on Mark Gruenwald I felt compelled to finally take the time to sit down and write to you so I may share my lone experience with Mark Gruenwald.

As a teenager in the late 80's and early 90's I had a dream of someday being a comic artist. At the time, I was attending conventions here on the east coast with a couple of other comic collecting friends, and constantly trying to improve my skills as a penciller in hopes of someday working in the industry. I was a big fan at the time of Wolverine, Iron Man, Batman, and local heroes Eastman and Laird of Ninja Turtle fame (I grew up not far from where they were based in Massachusetts).

I remember finally mustering up the courage to bring a small portfolio to a convention when I was 14 or 15. Somehow, after waiting through numerous lines with a slim hope of convincing any one of the panel members representing DC, Marvel, or Mirage to look at my stuff the one guy who took a few minutes to check out my work was Mark Gruenwald. I remember him as taking genuine interest in my work as he looked though my drawings of my favorite characters and a couple of my own creations.

He gave me a few tips about what would be required if I really wanted to work for a comic company after high school; such as moving to NY, a brief tutorial on the reality of how hard it is to break into comics, how little it paid at the time, and what would happen to most of my creative control over any new ideas, and gave me some very helpful suggestions about how to tweak my pencils to be more along the lines for what they were working for at the time. He wrapped up our conversation with an invitation to submit a finished portfolio upon my graduation if I was truly interested in pursuing work with Marvel.

Looking back on that time, I still feel very warm about how this giant in the business I loved took a few minutes of time to chat with a long haired kid from the middle of nowhere, and to encourage me to keep trying to get better, and gave me hope that someday I might be able to realize a dream of being a professional artist. I did continue to improve, and in my late teens actually had a few shows at some local galleries here in the Berkshires and had some good prospects for more work, but ultimately went the safe route and got a "real" job, started a family, etc.

I don't think my life is any less satisfying for taking the safe road, of course, but that 5 minutes of time Mark gave me and the comments he made about my drawings are a big part of why I feel to this day, years later, that if I had chosen to pursue that dream I would have succeeded.

Thanks for sharing some stories about the man. It's been a long time since I've thought about that brief meeting, and I want to say thank you for reminding me that it's been too long.

Tipton: It's been really rewarding to hear other folks write in and tell similar stories about Gruenwald. Thanks for doing so.

Michael M. writes: A few years back my wife bought me a sealed hardcover copy of Arkham Asylum. When I opened it I found a silver inked Grant Morrison signature inside on an empty black page perhaps the 1st or 2nd page in. The silver ink spread to the page above it as it was probably closed when the ink was still wet. Did he sign several of them as promos then put them into the normal production run. The cost of it was the normal cost of the surrounding hardcovers sold along with it. I just thought it was interesting. I never was able to find out why he signed it. Thanks for any scoop you may have.

Tipton: No idea, I'm afraid. Anyone?

Frank B. writes: Another Great Article Dude!!!!! I remember that short lived CBS Superman Cartoon. I thought I was the only one!!!! I remember it had to do alot with his family right?? Any plans on doing an article on Milestone Comic?? I missed the boat on them and they look like they really did change the way people look at comics.

Tipton: A good idea. I'll try to stock up on Milestone stuff.

Yeah, the CBS show had a running series on Clark growing up in Smallville.

Matt L. writes: HI!

I know you must get alot of requests but i will make one anyway! I would like to know all about the Teen Titans! I just picked up Geoff Johns’ new TT and it is really good. But they keep talking about the "old" Teen Titans and I am lost!

Oh well.

Also! As a small suggestion, have you considered doing any articles on writers? Or artists? As opposed to just characters? Just a thought! You know, now that I think about it, you seem to focus on DC way more than Marvel. Why is that? Do you not like Marvel as much?

Meh!

Tipton: Actually, I've already covered the Titans. You can read it here:

http://moviepoopshoot.com/comics101/21.html

As for the column rotation, I try to alternate between DC and Marvel, and I think the archives will bear me out on this:

http://moviepoopshoot.com/comics101/archives.html

There have been more DC columns just because DC characters have longer histories, but I think the frequency remains pretty even.

The recent Gruenwald series was the first of the creator spotlights to come.

Carrie W. writes: I'm just a bit confused because I haven't been able to come across the "Hush" series in Batman, and have just picked up the "Gotham Knights" where Hush is back, and it's revealed the name of Tommy Elliot? And also who is Prometheus? I just have no idea, and I'm trying to catch up, so help if you could, love your articles btw.

Tipton: Yeah, Tommy Elliot is a childhood friend of Bruce Wayne who now is apparently the supervillain "Hush." You can pick up the full story by Jeph Loeb and Jim Lee in two hardcover collections, entitled, logically enough, HUSH, VOLUMES 1 & 2.

Prometheus is a villain introduced in Grant Morrison's JLA run, who's kind of the antithesis of Batman, being a child whose criminal parents were murdered by police.

Sam P. writes: Count me among the numerous others who have been discovering and devouring the Comics 101 archives. 101 and DVD Diatribe are my two must reads at the shoot. Everyone else seems to be requesting their article ideas, figured I might as well do mine. (I would ask for Plastic Man, but the recent DC Archives and the "Jack Cole and Plastic Man: Forms Stretched to Their Limits" by Art Spiegelman & Chip Kidd took care of that.)

Howard the Duck: One of my favorites, who is unfairly maligned by his horrible movie. Any piece on Howard would almost have to be a Steve Gerber and creator's rights piece as well. I also think the recent MAX mini-series was a great return to form, back from non-Gerber crap like say, the beyond awful Holiday Special (to be fair, Gerber wrote some lame issues too). Howard's clever crossover with Spider-Man, Savage Dragon, and Destroyer Duck is a good story that a lot of people probably aren't aware of.

How about column about the post Ninja Turtles black and white glut of the 80's, and a few of the gems that may have gotten lost in the mix (my hidden gem X-Thieves and hidden guilty pleasure Adolescent Radioactive Black Belt Hamsters)?

Lastly, the 3 M's: Miracleman? Marshal Law? MR. MONSTER!?

Tipton: Most of the books you mention are definitely on my short list to be covered.

Love the Mr. Monster.

Jason B. writes: I was wondering whether you might ever consider dedicating a future column to the character Grendel by Dark Horse Comics. While Grendel is a rather obscure character compared to cultural icons such as Superman and Batman, Grendel seems to be one of the top characters of independent comics today.

I'm asking for this column not because I am a fan of Grendel (I've only picked up a few isolated issues) but because I was hoping that someone could explain the Grendel mythos to me. Sometimes Grendel is Hunter Rose, a male thief in the modern world, while at other times Grendel is Christine Spar, a female assassin, and at yet other times Grendel is a cyborg in the far future. Did Hunter establish the character of Grendel and then hand it down to future generations? Is Grendel part of a cult founded in the distant past? Or is it something else entirely?

If a column is not possible could you direct me to a website that explains the Grendel character?

Thanks and keep up the great work.

Tipton: I like Wagner's GRENDEL a lot, but I'm probably not going to get to it for a while.

Maybe this site will help you out:

http://www.geocities.com/wmnoe/gmain.html

Omaru writes: Hi Scott, reading the letters I noticed someone suggested you see mask of the Phantasm, I wanted to know if it was canon to the animated series, or was there a follow up on what happened to the joker after we see the Phantasm take him off.

Also another stupid question, if bruce is the most eligible bachelor, don't you think it's worrying that in batman beyond he's still living alone some 30 years on, and I would ask how is Terry's mouth visible in the suit when there is no cut away, but these are minor gripes in what was otherwise a decent spin off series which in turn gave us the best of the animated films. I felt it combined Schumachers need for colours and some action, although you could just say it was paying homage to Akira, whilst still maintaining the dark undertones of the original series, and the two mixed worked really well, add a few very good, and unexpected plot twists. And joker was far more outrageous than he was in Phantasm, it's easy to see why so many people label it as the best film.

Tipton: We never find out how Joker escapes from Phantasm. The character was recently used to good effect in the GOTHAM ADVENTURES comic book series, though.

I don't find Wayne's bachelor status as an old man surprising at all -- they've made it clear in the animated series that he's had relationships in the past, such as with Zatanna and Talia, and in BATMAN BEYOND they reference a failed relationship with Barbara Gordon as well. It's pretty clear that Wayne's obsession with his vow precludes him from maintaining any sort of healthy relationship.

TV RECOMMENDATIONS

Jim P. writes: I sat down and watched Lost last night and to my suprise, it didnt suck.

Ryall: To your surprise? Hey, have I ever steered you wrong?

I have only recently started watching TV after a multi year cable hiatus. My girlfriend is happy to watch the bevy of DYI shows and virtually anything that comes from BBC and for the most part I dont mind. But I longed for the hour drama (nothing beats Angel by the way-I said I didnt have tv, but the seasons on DVD are the bomb). So Lost was good from the start. As we entered further into the show, there was of course the hints that each person is a little something other than they seem to be. My only problem is I sense Dominic Monaghan will not be a full timer and I think he should have his own show. So you recommended Lost, I enjoyed, and will be back next week.

Ryall: Cool to hear. Me, too.

On to the next issue: CSI. I had never watched an episode of CSI in my life strictly because my girlfriend's sister loves it and she also loves JAG (follow my logic here?). So I see Gary Sinise is in CSI New York. Im in. I respect Sinise and I feel I should give him a chance. (I had no idea bruckheimer had anything to do with the show till it was over, and then it all made sense.) At first I was mighty impressed with the introductory scenes. Sinise's character was stereotypical, and I knew the big reveal at the end (His wife died in 9/11) before the guy had a chance to open his mouth. However, Sinise played it well. His pain was real and I could tell this character had some real emotion behind it. Then after a grim discovery of a body, and the tone is all down and rather somber...the opening title kicks in and the Who's Babba Yaga blares at us.

pause.

I love the song, but really, it was such a bad fit with the show and the mood it completely un-rooted anyfeeling of attachment. "Look her is maudlin Gary Sinise. He is sad. Look here is a body of a girl murdered. now rock out to the who!" If this doesnt get changed fast, this show is going to raise the dead.

Ryall: I couldn't agree more. I was watching the first few minutes, and first trying to figure out why New York looked so...blue...but I was into it. And then that song kicked on and I was totally taken out of the show. Okay, they want to use WHO songs to link all the CSIs (why?), but that was a really bad choice. Doesn't work with the show at all. Usually, theme songs and intros just waft into the air around me and I never even register what I'm listening to, meaning they're usually inocuous enough to not even leave a mark. But this one...yeah, very poor choice.

My girlfriend and I were rolling it was so bad. Like I said, seeing Bruckheimer's name attached made it all come together.

After the show ended I could see the pain Gary Sinise displayed was not that of his character. It was his own pain. A "how the heck did I get here man!" kind of thing. Poor guy. Im gonna send him a Christmas card now.

Ryall: It was funny seeing the show be so introspective after the ingrates on the original CSI were just in Entertainment Weekly whining that they don't get to emote enough on that show. Meanwhile, they keep cashing those weekly $500K paychecks. You'd think Dave Caruso would pull everyone aside and give them a big talk about hubris.

Mark W. writes: Been a while since I wrote, but then I like to have something to say rather than just check in for the sake of it.

Two ‘lauded’ US shows finally aired in the UK this week; namely Sports Night and Arrested Development.

I have to say I like them both (after three episodes of SN and one of AD).

Sports Night is entertaining in its own right, but very interesting as a precursor to West Wing (and this is only from three episodes) as at some point in the last five minutes of every episode a single character has an entertaining monologue/diatribe.

Ryall: Yeah. While I never really got into WEST WING, I did love this show. That Dan Rydell and Casey McCall were more entertaining to watch than the real folks on SportsCenter. I just loved the rapid-fire, overlapping dialogue (one reason GILMORE GIRLS works for me now); it was just so well-written. And it's interesting to see a pre-SIX FEET UNDER Peter Krause on there, too. That show was like a farm team--nearly all the leads on it spun off into even bigger shows, which is nice to see.

Arrested Development started last night on BBC2 and had some fantastic moments, any scene with the panic-attack-prone brother or the pathetic brother-in-law were standouts. (That’s a lot of hyphens).

As a first episode I was greatly impressed. History has shown that any new show takes a while to find its feet and settle down, especially for the writing team to hit a consistent rhythm.

Ryall: It seems like the kind of show that'd play well in England; its humor is more subtle in places, or at least more intelligent, than most inane, broad sitcoms here. I'm hoping its recent Emmy Award will expand its audience here, or, if nothing else, convince Fox to keep it around for at least another entire season.

I mainly watched this show because you talk it up so much and wanted to see if your opinion or taste is to be trusted (in the nicest possible way you understand)!

Chalk another one up for the ‘Shoot’ I’ll be looking out for other series' you mention, when and if they air over here.

Ryall: Alright, then, your next assignment is SCRUBS.

He doesn’t need anyone else ‘talking him up’ I know, but let me congratulate you on retaining Scott Tipton and his Comics 101 column; The Jewel in the Poopshoot crown. Without a doubt, my favourite read of the week (sorry Chris)

Ryall: Oh, no, I totally concur. It's my favorite read of the week, too, that and the Mail Shoot questions he answers in this spot every week.

and I’m grateful he has consistently posted his column as I initially feared he may go the way of Rob Meyer Burnet and leave just as the column became part of my routine. Scott has always replied to my emails in a speedy and gracious manner and he is, as Homer once said, ‘A class act all the way’.

Ryall: Oh yeah, Scott's a good friend and one of my favorite people, and is also the most reliable person I know. On top of his other gigs, he manages to work ahead on the column ever week, do his lion's share of work in this column and also provide 95% of all the news stories and headlines on the site. He's a good'un.

Keep up the good work, and how about getting the boss to address these Star Wars TV show rumours?!

Ryall: He does like to play it coy, doesn't he?

Sal P. writes:
"I've never seen an episode of DEGRASSI, but the boss says it's better than FREAKS AND GEEKS, one of my favorite shows ever, so it could be worth a look."

I just thought I'd let you know that your boss is wrong. I've watched a fair share of Degrassi, and it is really entertaining in a Canadian Pre-teen Drama sort of way, but the only reason that it is good is because it's entertaining in a sad sort of way to watch these 13 and 14 year olds' horrible acting (especially when concerning such issues as homosexuality, abortion, and standing in front of class while you've got a boner.) Granted, I am exagerrating with the ages, as I think these kids are most likely around 16 or so by now, but still, there's no way Degrassi holds a candle to Freaks and Geeks. The only reason I'm telling you this is in case you stumble upon an episode of Degrassi, I don't want you to be horribly disappointed.

Ryall: Thanks for tempering my expectations. Since FREAKS quickly jumped to the very top of the list of my favorite TV shows ever, DEGRASSI has a lot to live up to.

Sal writes back: I think I just freaked out at the idea of anyone saying anything is better than Freaks and Geeks, really. That's pretty sweet that he's getting a cameo on Degrassi, as it is rather entertaining, but I'd have to say that if you're going to check out a Canadian Preteen tv show, it should be Radio Free Roscoe. My friend and I started checking out all the new channels after my cable system beefed up our digital cable, and after watching Noggin (or The-N) we became completely addicted to RFR. The show has been relocated to some horrible 3 am timeslot or something like that, so I never get to see it anymore, but it was amazing. Oh, and it's cool if you'd like to put this in the mail shoot.

Ryall: In our esteemed Mail Shoot? I don't think so, pal.

Aussie Emma F. writes: So I read your tv recommendations every week, even though its unlikely we even get some of the shows here, or if we do, they’re on pay-tv so I don’t get to watch it.

Anyway, I thought I’d weigh in on Australia’s own McLeod’s Daughters. To be perfectly honest, I can count the amount of Aussie tv shows I watch on one finger. And this is it. That said, I can’t think of a tv show less suited to the American market and I’m fairly shocked its even being trialled over there! That “WE” network must be pretty obscure right?

On the subject of tv, I thought I’d take this opportunity to vent my anger on us not getting Gilmore Girls anymore. They used to put it on every now and then (in a Saturday afternoon timeslot no less) and I used to religiously tape it. Then they stopped 8 episodes into Season 3 and about a year later brought it back at the start of Season 4. Was I ever pissed off! Now they’ve stopped it again halfway through season 4. No doubt we’ll get Season 5 in 18 months or so! And of course the dvds aren’t out here.

Ryall: Yeah, I just wish the All-Region DVD players were easily available and affordable for everyone, so we could all watch whatever we want whenever we want.

Theron N. writes: I know how you feel about Hope & Faith. I hate myself for liking this show, but the truth is, however much I hate to admit it, Kelly Ripa is pretty funny. She manages to make some pretty lame jokes funnier than they should be. Did you see her host SNL? That's when I first realized there was more to her than I'd previously thought. She showed that she has an edge, performing funny, non-PC humor.

Ryall: I'm not quite ready to go public with this yet -- I'm still having a hard time admitting it to myself -- but somewhere along the way, I seem to have developed a little crush on Kelly Ripa. Not to the point where I'll watch her show again, but...I'm afraid that day might be coming. Damn, how do these things happen?

Also, Shatner and Spader do a pretty funny act together. It's worth checking out.

Ryall: Oh, I totally concur. I'd kind of gotten over the need to watch any more David E. Kelley shows before these two paired up. But now BOSTON LEGAL is on the TiVo list.

Michael M. writes: I know I'm a week late with this, but why on earth is Cartoon Network cancelling Samurai Jack? I know it had a good run, four years, and that the whole looking for a time portal schtick would get old eventually, but it had to be one of the best shows on tv, at least the most artfully animated. Besides, didn't it just win an emmy, so wouldn't this be good time to keep it going? I know I'm just bitter, but still, at least have a good one hour finale, with him finally getting Aku, which if i missed I will kick myself for not getting Tivo. Is there any chance that was a clerical error on your part...cause that'd be good. Sorry for the Rant, though its briefer than some of the others i've seen.

Ryall: I did some checking before I mentioned that that was indeed the show's finale, and it was confirmed. So while it's always very possible that I made a clerical error, in this case, it seems the show is done.

Han Shot First

Anonymous Reader writes: Get a rutting clue. Han never shot first, but you and people like you surely wanted him to! Too bad you are wrong, and left watching the 25 percenter version of Star Wars. He never shot first, but you keep that bullshit alive.

Ryall: "People like me" wanted him to? Dude, it's in the movie. The original movie, I mean.

Anonymous Reader writes back: Dude, I am just responding to another 30 something, such as yourself, complaining about the Star Wars DVDs and the Special editions, where Han SUPPOSEDLY no longer shoots first.

Ryall: Dude, it's in the movie. The original movie, I mean.

I just want to point out to you, that you are as wrong as a man as you are as a man. Han never shot first. That's all Im saying yo. Word.

Ryall: Riiiight. And the government agents in E.T. never had guns, only walkie-talkies, right?

Anonymous Reader writes again: No, he never SHOT first. It never happened. No. He never shot first. You just PERCEIVED he shot first, because people like you thought Han doing that made him cool or some shit I personally do not understand. The special edition just made it look bad, but now it has been fixed.

Ryall: "People like me" thought it made him look cool? Huh? It didn't make him look anything. It happened. Why am I having this ridiculous discussion?

You have the originals on DVD. Go watch A New Hope, and notice it goes Greedo, flash, Han, slight head movement, flash, smoke, followed by Greedo slumping over. Even Lucas admitted recently in EW that he fucked up the shot. He rushed it, and you folks got it in your heads that a botched shot where you CAN CLEARLY SEE HAN NEVER SHOT FIRST or that it's AMBIGUOUSLY BEST, had to be Han shooting Greedo first.

Ryall: First of all, what's all this "you folks" crap? Second, you're as wrong as can be. Third, you're way too defensive. And fourth, you're WRONG. What Lucas said in EW was that he was never happy with the shot. The guy who wrote the book, wrote the movie and shot the movie then added a scene he never wanted? The movie was his to assemble, even in '77. Yet you expect me to believe that he didn't have the shot the way he wanted? Bullshit. Fixing that could've been a simple edit. That's typical revisionist history nonsense, and all you Lucas apologists go along with it. It ain't true, man.

You are just wrong. People who feel the same way; fucking wrong. Not that I condone Walkie Talkies in the place of guns, but like Federal Agents would hold weapons calvarlily in front of children.

Ryall: You're right, that would never happen, not in the original version of E.T. and certainly never in real life.

Anonymous Reader writes yet again: You know Ryall. You should be lucky I am a nice guy. If I were not a nice guy. You would be getting one hell of an angry email right now. You said I came across as angry before, but trust me chuckles; I did not even come close to being angry.

Ryall: Cue the ominous music. Let 'er rip, tough guy.

I should be angry because you call me an APOLOGIST, because I state the truth.

Ryall: Er, no, you didn't. Not once.

I never, when I saw the original versions, believed HAN shot first.

Ryall: Well, that's the way it happened. Believe what you want. How many times we gonna dance to the same song here?

You are SO PROUD of owning those 25 percent versions of the First Trilogy, then why dont you do what I asked? The shot, at best, has Greedo shooting first, but mostly it's ambiguous. You know, ambiguous? Which leads to people like you believing Han shot first, when it never ever happened.

Ryall: Ahh, there's that "people like you" reference I was missing in your last condescending reply. Way to not disappoint, fanboy. I'm starting to think you've only seen the '97 versions, though. No one who saw the '77 movie, when Han was clearly the only person to shoot, would keep going on and on like this.

How fucking dare you call me an apologist when I do not agree with your nostalgia clinging stance of versions of films which are simply incorrect.

Ryall: Good thing you're not angry.

Just because you have become hardened by life or what the fuck ever became of people of your generation oes not make me an apologist for something that has always been this way.

Ryall: Oh, man, you're my new favorite person. "People of my generation." You mean those of us who've seen the movie with our eyes open?

When you are right. You are right. Not that I mind making you angry, because I am very much sick of the ASSHOLE mentality of many people such as yourself, but when Lucas admits something so be it.

Ryall: Oh, Lucas spoke. That must be the gospel, then. Because he's never once contradicted anything he said or did in the past, right? I take it back--you're not a Lucas apologist, you're just another braying a Lucas sheep.

Oh, and for the record, I'm smiling as I type this. DOn't flatter yourself into thinking your inane e-mails got me mad.

You are such a biased asshole towards the man, that you cant believe something he said before this month?

Ryall: Biased against Lucas? Hardly. I wouldn't have dropped a hundred bucks on his DVDs and video game last week if I didn't respect what he's done all these years. But do I blindly believe everything he says? Absolutely not.

Yeah. He said a while ago that the shot was intended to not have a clear point of view of what happened, but you and people like you just had to believe Han to be a badass. Sure. That's why he came back for the Princess. Yeah, the guy just KICKED SO MUCH ASS!

Ryall: Wait, what? Wow, man, go get some fresh air. I don't even know what road your rant is heading down any more. This is suddenly turning into "odd fanboy has Han Solo issues" and I don't want to be dragged into that.

I love that I have to have an argument with you over something you perceived happened, but never actually happened.

Ryall: I'm not having an argument with you. That would imply I take your point seriously, and I don't.

Just keep on living that denial, because LUCAS IS JUST EVIL! EVIL! And Push Nevada or what the fuck ever was a good fucking TV show. SURE. SURE.

Ryall: Hey, a regular reader of the site! Cool. Have a nice day.

Red State, Blue State

Timothy Y. writes: A hush comes over the land and...

OH YEAH! (Koolaid Monster breaks through wall)-- the reason I'm emailing you!) It's just a quip, and feel free to edit me down to just the quip itself, because, quite frankly, I find this amusing.

Joseph McCarthy headed the "Red Scare" of the 50's.

Republican states are characterized as "Red-Leaning."

McCarthy=Republican VS Communism=Red

(A hard sell, but fun)

He headed the nation against Communism, the "Red Scare."

Do I need to spell it out?

I just think it's funny. Especially since the Dems are running around in blue, the long-time secondary color of porn.

Commies or Pornographers! America's next great choice!

Ryall: Well, porn always has my vote, no matter what it runs against. That would make for a good debate, though.

Benner

Ben J. writes: love the site - it continues to rock the block party.

it's got everything I need - columns about comics, video games, and wrestling!

anyway I have a reason for bothering you: who does the art for the movie poop shoot home page - the one with jay and silent bob holding pumpkins. I really dig it.

Ryall: Glad you like it. That one is by Ben Templesmith, the Australian artist who's done 30 DAYS OF NIGHT and SINGULARITY SEVEN (along with other things like FEAR FACTORY's new CD art). The one that ran in previous weeks, and will run again after October, was by Andy McDonald, artist on the Image comic, NYC MECH. More to come, too. I figure, if I can't exploit my new job for the site's benefit, what good am I?

Did They Err? Nope.

Joseph A. writes: Don't know if you ever read Groo : the Wanderer, but apparently, the movie rights have been picked up. Scifi.com reported this in its scifiwire sidebar, quoting a Variety article.

Ryall: Yeah, I saw this--we ran this, too. I doubt it'll ever happen, but if I were making it, I'd have to cast Gerard Depardieu as the Wanderer. He's certainly got the physique, and the schnozz, for it. And luckily, now Brigitte Nielsen is too old to play Chakaal.

I've always thought Groo would make a great animated movie and I remember speaking to Sergio Aragones at a convention once (back when I was a freshman in college around 12 years ago) and he always wanted to see Groo on the big screen as an animated picture.

Hopefully, he'll get his wish.

Ryall: Yeah, and regardless, it's nice to see Sergio and Mark get a little money for their twenty-four-year-old property.

That's INCREDIBLES

Todd J. writes: Somebody wrote in saying they thought the Syndrome character from Pixar's The Incredibles resembled Cock-Knocker from JSBSB... I grabbed this pic from theincredibles.com for better comparison:

Maybe a vague resemblance. Might it have something to do with the fact that Syndrome is voiced by none other than Mr. Jason Lee?

Ryall: I dunno...looks more like the Heat Miser from that old Rank & Bass Christmas special to me.

Horror in PA

Mark B. writes: I came across this excellent movie announcement in my e-mail bin, and I was wondering if you would have an interest in sharing it with your readers via your news column, message board, etc. The Colonial Theater in Phoenixville, PA is hosting a series of screenings of 35mm prints (not video) of the various Universal Monster movies. I've enclosed their official press release below. Oh, and BTW, this theater is actually the same theater where that classic scene from "The Blob" was filmed back in the '50s.

Press Release:

THAT'S RIGHT, SOME OF THE GREATEST MONSTER MOVIES EVER DEBUT AT THE COLONIAL IN OUR HORROR CLASSICS SERIES FOR OCTOBER.

COLONIAL CLASSICS
Sundays at 2:00 pm

MONSTER MONTH

Oct. 3 The Wolf Man (1941, 70 min.) Atmospheric, haunting tale of a man who turns into a tormented man-beast after being bitten by a wolf. Lon Chaney, Jr. played Dracula, The Mummy, Frankenstein's monster and Satan himself in various films, but it's this one that marks his most indelible horror performance and made him a legitimate heir to the legacy of his namesake father (Phantom of the Opera, The Hunchback of Notre Dame). Maria Ouspenskaya is the quintessential old Gypsy fortune teller, and three supporting cast members created memorable horror characters of their own in other films: Bela Lugosi (Dracula), Claude Rains (The Invisible Man), and Ralph Bellamy (Rosemary's Baby).

Oct. 10 The Invisible Man (1933, 71 min.) A stranger obscured by bandages and dark glasses secrets himself in a sleepy village inn, demanding to be left utterly alone. It's not long, however, before his secret is discovered: he is a scientist who has rendered himself invisible—and is slowly going insane. After 30 years on the stage, Claude Rains became an overnight star with his first American film role—one in which he's barely seen. Director James Whale create a new subgenre when he added large doses of humor to H.G. Wells's lurid tale, inspiring later directors such as Tim Burton, Joe Dante, and Wes Craven.

Oct. 17 The Mummy (1932, 73 min.) An Egyptian high priest is brought back to life after nearly 3700 years when his tomb is desecrated, and wreaks havoc upon the interlopers while searching for his reincarnated lost love. As he had done the year before in Frankenstein, silent-film-trained Boris Karloff manages to convey both menace and pathos in the title role despite heavy make-up. Broadway actress Zita Johann is also quite affecting as the reluctant object of the mummy's obsession—making it difficult to imagine the screenwriter's first choice, Katharine Hepburn, in the part.

Oct. 24 Dracula (1931, 75 min.) "I am Drac-u-la. I bid you velcome." Suffocating atmosphere, Gothic sets drenched in menace (including a London insane asylum and creepy Castle Dracula), and a mesmerizing performance by Bela Lugosi combine to create the authoritative version of the oft-filmed vampire tale. Lugosi only won the role when first choice Lon Chaney died before filming. His now-legendary delivery was not fully intentional: the Hungarian-born actor spoke poor English at the time and memorized many of his lines phonetically.

Oct. 31 Halloween Double Feature: Frankenstein (1931, 71 min.) and Bride of Frankenstein (1935, 75 min.) Still basking in the success of Dracula, Bela Lugosi was offered the role of Frankenstein's monster, but turned it down when told the character had no dialogue. Enter unknown character actor Boris Karloff, and another legendary screen icon was born. Karloff's frightening, yet touching performance as the tormented, confused creature, the films' dark tone and spectacular sets (including the watchtower laboratory), the creature's terrifying look, and genuine moments of human drama— combine to give the films an enduring power. At last count, there were 29 filmed treatments of Mary Shelley's 1816 novel, including Flesh for Frankenstein, Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, and Frankenstein Sings. The two we've selected, both directed by James Whale, are considered the definitive versions and have stood the test of time.

Special Silent Film Event for Halloween:

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1919) with original score by The Devil Music Ensemble , Saturday Oct 30st at 8:00 pm Tickets are $10. Sorry no member or children discounts.

The most cherished film of German Expressionism, "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari" amazes both with the psychological ramifications of the story and with its grotesquely beautiful visuals. As a horror film it stand side by side with Dryer's "Vampyr" and Murnau's "Nosferatu" as the most astounding examples of the genre. Its roots lie in the aftermath of WWI and the tormented world of the German National consciousness at the time. The film conveys through its story and aesthetics a world of chaos and disorder where the individual existence is overshadowed by fear of its own past experience and the hostile powers embodied within the establishment.

November 21st - Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948) Dracula (Bella Lugosi) plans to put Lou's brain in the Frankenstein Monster while werewolf Larry Talbot (Lon Chaney) has his paws full trying to convince the boys they are in danger. All time great horror-comedy that still works beautifully, mainly because the monsters play it straight.

November 28th Classic Three Stooges Shorts : Punch Drunks (1934), Men in Black (1934) Ants in the Pantry (1936) A Plumbing We Will Go (1940); Cash and Carry and Women Haters – all for one admission!!!

All shows at 2:00 p.m. The Colonial is located at 227 Bridge St., Phoenixville, PA Tickets: $4.00 for Children under 13 and members, $6.00 Senior/Students with ID and $7.00 regular admission. Call 610-917-1228 for more information or visit our website:
thecolonialtheatre.com

Photos of the Week

Ryall: A shot from the upcoming FANTASTIC FOUR movie, paying tribute to co-creator Jack Kirby (note the company logo, too):

Ryall: The three leads (Jack Black, Naomi Watts and Adrien Brody) and the director (Peter Jackson) of KING KONG prepare to set sale for Monster Island (thanks to Jakob Montrasio and Mysan.de):

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