By Britt Schramm
June 28, 2004
With the recent announcement of DC using their old marketing logo Johnny DC to help sell their new line of comics aimed at a younger audience and the upcoming Free Comic Book Day on July 3rd, they both got me thinking about my beloved superhero books and their current place in today’s culture. And I’m afraid their prognosis is not as rosy as they may appear.
Now, just for those out-of-touch thirty-something fanboys out there, you might want to sit down in a cool room without any sharp objects in the general vicinity as this news is quite shocking. OK, everybody ready? Here it is.
The modern superhero is DEAD! DEAD, I tell ya!!! (And by DEAD, I mean culturally insignificant.)
Actually, they’re all in a nursing home right now but I’m seeing a flatline coming up in the near future. And there’s not a Tinkerbelle handclapping thing that you can do about it.
Reader: What the hell is Britt talking about? He’s talking out of his ass as usual.
Don’t worry, dear reader, I’ve haven’t gone insane in the membrane. And I’m not under the influence of any quality pharmaceuticals. But I am allowing my eyes to open to the reality that our spandex-clad favorite lads and lassies’ days are numbered. And here’s what brought me to my senses.
Occasionally, I work Sundays at my local store; ya know, just so I can “keep it real”. As the months have gone by, I’ve noticed this disturbing phenomenon that’s happening all the time. When any kid comes into the store, they scan the store’s surroundings, locate the Manga section and immediately make a beeline for their favorite Anime character or Manga related books. They’re shunning the superhero books altogether just like billionaire Full House partier Mary-Kate Olsen was shunning the consumption of food. (Oops. I’m sorry. Did that last comment cross the line? I can never tell.)
Now, it’s not like I’m personally attacking the Manga or Anime as an art form. I’m a big fan of Viz’s Big O series, loved the Shadow Lady books by Dark Horse and continue to laugh my ass off when I’m reading the adventures of that little dickens, Crayon Shinchan from ComicsOne. However, I wouldn’t say that these titles are the typical Manga that the “kids” are reading. And since I was born and bred a true blue cape and tights fanboy, when I see a kid turn away from them, it makes me cry like old Iron Eyes Cody. It really makes me start to think that the days of tights and fights are just about over.
So, when did this incredible demonstration of disrespect start to happen to our once invincible crime fighters? Well, the reason is simple. In a world where Mr. Potter and Yu-Gi-Oh reign supreme, the superhero is no longer cool, period.
Reader: Dude, what are you smoking? Have you seen the monthly sales numbers? It’s all about the masks and capes, man. You really should have your head examined.
People, people let’s not get in an uproar. You guys must chill. As the phrase goes, “Don’t hate the playa; hate the game.”
So you want some cold hard facts? Sorry, don’t got any. But, just to satisfy your curiosity, let’s take a peak into today’s pre-teen culture.
Has anyone been in a national bookstore chain recently? At my local Barnes & Noble, those black and white Manga books seem to have a two-to-one ratio over our dear 4-color superhero trades with no signs of being oversaturated. (Though, that massive $50 B&N-exclusive Ultimate Spider-Man hardcover collection probably weighs more than 30 of those Tokyo Pop and VIZ digests sized books. To buy that monster of a tome, B&N should offer a free chiropractic session. Or at the very least, a delivery service should be available so the poor paying customer won’t have to worry about using the car hazards when driving home.) And the kids are all huddled around with those little trades in their hands while the bigger and brighter superhero books are just sitting waiting for someone to pick them just like the short, slow kid waiting for the chance to play dodgeball with the words echoing in his brain, “If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!” It’s really pathetic.
Another good indication of what’s cool is to take a look at the boob tube to see what’s aimed at the demographic with the second most disposable income (number one are those same out-of-touch thirty-something fanboys with lots of free Internet time on their hands; you guys know who you are). Back in the day, Saturday mornings were always a safe haven for superheroes; whether it was those Filmation live action shows, cartoons or thirty-second spots for the latest action figures. Sad to say, there are no more real Saturday morning cartoons, Virginia.
With the exception of the new Batman WB series and Cartoon Network’s Justice League Unlimited (with the very “thick” Zantanna - I foresee the use of a Thigh Master in her future), there are almost no superheroes shows. Where did they go, you ask? I’ll tell you; they’ve been replaced by kid-friendly Anime-lite stuff and live action Harry Potter rip-offs. I used to remember the days when being sent to a boarding school were the worst threat a parent could make. Now, all the kids want to go to boarding school. What the hell is up with that? Man, I miss those old days.
Now, who doesn’t love their console games? I know that even at my advanced age, I still try to get my Xbox-fueled addiction sated every chance I get. But, has anyone in the comics industry tried playing one of their lame ass superhero-inspired video games? I’ve seen better crap in my kid’s diaper to tell you the truth. Why would any youngster that picks up a controller care about a superhero character if all of their games suck? Talk about missing out on a friggin’ giant potential gateway to the wonderful world of superheroes. What the world need right now is a great cross-platform console game starring the best of them all, Batman. (Sue me, I’m biased to the Dark Knight.). And don’t even go to the whole “Freedom Fighters”/”City of Heroes” PC route; everybody knows that the kids only go for the console.
How else could superheroes be more uncool? I don’t know… How ‘bout by endorsing extremely cheesy products? Now, I’m not talking about plugging the occasional fruit pie or the delightful sweet confection that has a shelf life of 40 years. I’m saying that nothing could be more disturbing than reading a comic, turning the page and seeing Captain America and friends hocking the wonders of the Wahl hair clippers? Or seeing an ad with Spidey on a bowling ball? Or probably the worst thing of all, knowing that there is actually a framed Thor motivational poster in existence. I can just imagine what Thor would say, “Greetings, young mortals. I beseech thee to peruse Thor’s own monthly periodicals and ornamental hangings. Verily, thee will be inspired. By Odin’s Beard!” I really don’t think that there is a scale invented to measure how uncool these ideas are. They’re so bad that even Ron Popeil is laughing his ass off. And that was the guy who introduced Hair in a Can.
Lastly, who else could be to blame for the superheroes’ plight? Guess who? That’s right; it’s the very same industry that produces them. Ya see, in their creative zeal to deconstruct the “tired” superhero genre, the comic book creators themselves actually damaged comics for the wee ones by forgetting the simplest thing – being able to tell a good, all ages superhero story. Now, I’m not saying that there aren’t any good storytellers out there (Great writers abound the medium like Gail Simone, Geoff Johns and Brian Michael Bendis) or that all of the current superhero stories suck. But, is it possible to tell an one-issue superhero story in today’s jaded world without making the heroes full of human flaws in an effort to make them seem “more real”? That’s all I’m asking for. Really.
You see, dear readers, the superhero genre is going the way of the dinosaur. Even with this year’s Free Comic Book Day, I’m not sure that it’s enough to stop this death by Natural Selection. Everyone who loves superhero comics needs to do their part. Try to give them away as presents to all of the kids in your life, big and small. Instead of candy during Halloween, give out your old kid-friendly comics like Adventures in the DC Universe, Batman Adventures or even the extra free comics that you get this year. Plant that seed of good superhero fun and maybe it’ll keep that old capes and tights business alive just that much longer. Oh, and clapping your hands together may not hurt either.
Now, here’s this week’s Uncensored Reactions to some upcoming books:
Amazing Fantasy #1 – Great cover. Or should I say “Damn those misleading covers!” It’s another #1/origin story with the lead character not in costume at all. Really, isn’t there a law stating that all origin stories should have the superhero that on the cover of the book in costume at least once. If not, there should be. Overall, it’s the typical origin book (but stretched out over a four issue arc for dramatic purposes).
JLA #100 – Introducing the Elite version 2.0 (as stated on the cover). Isn’t it time to stop using the “computer version” references in non-computer material? It all sounded so cool before the turn of the millennium but now, everything created now has a version number. Stop the Insanity. Please. Well, haven’t read this title since the whole “Resurrection of Aquaman” debacle. Man… I hate it when someone takes a good idea then drives it into the ground. The first Elite team was a great satire on the whole Authority team and their “By Any and All Means Necessary” credo. Now, this team seems like just a rag-tag bunch of anti-heroes. See above sermon. ‘Nuff said.
Powerless #1 – Hey, this looks like a What If...? Story (if you don’t know what a What If? Story is, you’re way too young to be hanging out with me. What I’m saying is scram, kid, you’re bothering me!) I actually like this book’s premise. Gaydos’ art, which I loved in Alias, doesn’t seem like a perfect fit but it grew on me by the end of the book. Definitely worth picking up when you’re in the store.
Green Lantern #178 – Ron Marz’s knee deep into his reunion story with GL and it seems like he’s back at home with this character. Here’s another book that I haven’t even picked up in awhile. This story is definitely strong enough to pick up the trade when it’s collected.
X-Statix #24 – This is part four in the Avengers vs. X-Statix story arc. Has some pretty good in-jokes about the whole series and the X-Universe. Milligan is one of the best writers around period and Allred’s “old skool” art has never looked better. It really is unfortunate that this series is ending but
the premise probably could only work for so long. I was talking to Elizabeth, my comic shop manager, and we kinda agreed that this book started out as a smart and biting satire of superheroes but now, it’s almost like a parody of itself. Hopefully, something else will come along to take its place, but I doubt it.
That's it for this week. I'll see ya in two.
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