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Week of March 13, 2006

You can take "The Peacemaker," "Deep Impact," and "The Tuxedo." We'll take "Gladiator," "American Beauty" and anything else that didn't suck.

Emilio's 17

Yeah, like he needed all that overpriced crap anyway...

This lawsuit's going to make 'House Party' look like 'House Party Two!'

I told you... don't call me SENIOR!!

Maybe this is all a bad dream too?

Thanks Sharon, but I think I'll wait until this one comes out on DVD (so I can freeze frame of course)

There is absolutely, positively no nepotism in Hollywood. None.

You're good, baby, I'll give you that... but me? I'm magic.

This band will go down like a lead balloon

Well, Goodbye there Children...

They can't sell the Capitol Records building! What will be left to destroy in the next crappy 'end of the world' movie?

Same old Courtney - still sponging off Kurt

Panic on the streets of Austin

You're a fat, Botox faced, wig-wearing ninny! Oh yeah? Well your band has a dirty H addict as a lead singer!

Black Sabbath, Blondie, Miles Davis, The Sex Pistols, Lynyrd Skynyrd Enter Rock Hall



01 THE BREAK-UP $39.17
$12759/av

02 X-MEN: THE LAST STAND $34.02
$9159/av

03 OVER THE HEDGE $20.65
$5170/avg

04 THE DAVINCI CODE $18.61
$4953/avg

05 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III $4.68
$1756/avg

06 POSEIDON $3.49
$1283/avg

07 RV $3.20
$1469/avg

08 SEE NO EVIL $2.04
$1607/avg

09 AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH $1.36
$17615/avg

10 JUST MY LUCK $855K
$892/avg









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DVD LATE SHOW

By Christopher Mills

August 30, 2005

This week I've got a real mixed bag of reviews, from sci-fi "Westerns" to international horror to comedy to animated sword & sorcery to classic B-noir. It's also the longest DVD Late Show column yet, with nine DVDs up for review. Since there's no overall theme (however loose) this week, I'll just hit them alphabetically.

Oh, and I'm still unable to take screenshots. Sorry. I miss them, too.

Writer/director Phil Smoot's low-budget sci-fi "Western," ALIEN OUTLAW (1988) features legendary cowboy star Lash La Rue in his final screen appearance, sans his trademark bullwhip.

Several alien sport hunters (reminiscent of PREDATOR, made around the same time) land in a remote rural community and start hunting down and killing the local rednecks. Meanwhile, attractive trick shot artist Jesse Jamison (Kari Anderson) is trying to move up to the big time with her gun act. When her unreliable assistant goes missing in the mountains with all of her equipment, she goes in search of him, first checking his Uncle Alex's (La Rue) ranch. Before long, the shapely sharpshooter is trading bullets with the extraterrestrial "outlaws."

ALIEN OUTLAW is a very low-budget affair with a cast of unknowns and the gimmick of a couple of old time cowboy stars (La Rue and Sunset Carson). The story's not bad, but the pacing is leaden, and the alien invaders are neither very menacing nor visually impressive. Lead Kari Anderson is not quite good enough to carry the movie, either, unfortunately.

VCI's "uncut" disc is loaded with extras and obviously prepared with the full cooperation of the filmmakers. There's a solid 1.66:1 widescreen anamorphic transfer, a commentary track by writer/director Smoot and editor Sherwood Jones, and a couple of short video clips where Sunset Carson interviews La Rue and Anderson for what appears to be a cable access show about old Westerns. There's also some behind the scenes home video footage (including the local press conference when they started production) and a video trailer for director Smoot's previous film with La Rue, a horror flick called THE DARK POWER.

ALIEN OUTLAW is, ultimately, a typical Eighties direct-to video exploitation piece, notable only for the presence of La Rue and Carson. If that interests you, VCI's disc is a decent package, reasonably priced.

Well, it's official: these Asian ghost stories just don't scare me. I thought RINGU was okay, but was unimpressed by THE GRUDGE. Now I've watched the original, Jennifer Connely-less Japanese version of DARK WATER (aka HONOGURAI MIZU NO SOKO KARA, 2001), and while it's a very well-made movie with great performances, it just didn't do much for me.

Yoshimi Matsubara (Hitomi Kuroki) is a decent woman attempting to make a new life for herself and her six-year-old daughter Ikuko (Rio Kanno) after a messy divorce and an ongoing custody battle with her asshole ex. She re-enters the workplace after some years as housewife and takes an apartment in a rundown apartment building. Soon, though, it becomes apparent that there's something weird going on – the ceiling starts leaking water, black hair comes out of the taps, and a little girl's purse keeps showing up out of nowhere. Is stress causing Yoshimi to come unglued, or is there something supernatural afoot?

The movie is based on a story by Kôji Suzuki (author of the novel "Ringu"), and well directed by Hideo Nakata, who brings to it much of the eerie atmosphere and creepiness that he brought to the film version of RINGU. But there's really not enough material here for a full feature film, and the pace becomes ponderous in the second act. It doesn't help that the audience is (or at least my wife and I were) way ahead of the characters on what's going on. And why are the Japanese so freaked out by hair and water?

On the plus side, Hitomi Kuroki brings a great deal of pathos to her performance and Rio Kanno is remarkably appealing as her daughter. The two of them, through their performances alone, carry the film through its padded midsection and kept me watching.

ADV presents DARK WATER in a gorgeous anamorphic widescreen transfer with a robust 5.1 sound mix in both English and Japanese. It's light on extras, though, containing only the usual batch of ADV trailers.

If you're a fan of Japanese ghost stories, or you liked the American remake and want to check out the original, ADV's disc is a good bet.

Remember the first ten minutes of George Romero's original DAWN OF THE DEAD, set in the Pittsburg television station where the news crew struggles to maintain a semblance of order while society crumbles around them? Well, Richard Griffin's shot-on-video FEEDING THE MASSES (2005) for EI's Shock-O-Rama line takes that one scene and builds an entire movie around it.

A plague triggered by something called "the Lazarus Virus" has broken out in Rhode Island, reanimating the dead as flesh-eating zombies. Martial law has been declared, and a remote news team and their M-16 toting military "protector" go rogue, determined to bring the truth about the extent of the epidemic to the public, despite the government's censorship and insistence that everything is under control.

Trent Haaga's script (Haaga is an actor, too, and starred in SUBURBAN NIGHTMARE, which I reviewed a few columns back) is fairly smart and has some solid ideas (the zombie sex club was interesting), but is repeatedly undercut by the shoestring budget. While there's a couple decent action scenes, this zombie film is somewhat short on zombies, with never more than a dozen or so ghouls showing up at any given time. The shots of the supposedly zombie-infested city are unconvincing; you get the feeling that if the camera moved just a bit more to the left or right, you'd see busy streets. But I don't want to denigrate the efforts of the filmmakers – I'd rather see them be over ambitious than not try at all.

The performances are okay, about on the level of a daytime soap opera. The make-up effects and costuming are inconsistent, with some zombies looking pretty good while others look like half-assed Halloween partygoers. Gore effects – obligatory in a zombie flick – are plentiful and mostly well done. Overall, it's a pretty decent effort considering the shoestring budget.

EI's DVD presents the R-rated vidflick in a clean 1.78:1 anamorphic transfer. Supplements include a commentary track by the director, behind-the-scenes featurettes, the usual EI trailers, and a short retrospective on the Shock-O-Rama line's first year.

There's a lot to like in the movie, even if it's not 100% creatively successful. Zombie fans and aficionados of low budget horror should check it out.

Like many former D&D geeks of my generation, I have a warm spot in my cinema-addled heart for Ralph Bakshi's FIRE AND ICE (1983), an animated sword & sorcery adventure inspired by the works of, and made with the participation of, famed fantasy illustrator Frank Frazetta.

With a screenplay by Marvel Comics veterans Gerry Conway and Roy Thomas (who also penned CONAN THE DESTROYER), FIRE AND ICE is a simple, straightforward tale of good and evil. You've got the fey, evil sorcerer Nekron and his mother Juliana on the bad side, and the handsome barbarian Larn, the bodacious princes Teegra and the enigmatic warrior Darkwolf (an archetypal Frazetta icon) on the side of good.

Nekron and his mom live in a palace of ice, where he uses his magical powers to push a great glacier across the face of the world, crushing villages and cities beneath the heavy ice. The only power that can stand against him is Fire Keep, home of good King Jarol, his son Taro and daughter Teegra. Juliana sends a squad of her son's subhuman foot soldiers to abduct the princess in an attempt to force Jarol into surrendering, but they're not particularly bright kidnappers, and she soon escapes. The nearly naked nymph wanders the wilderness until she meets Larn, whose home and people were destroyed by Nekron. Eventually, Nekron's goons recapture Teegra and Larn teams up with the Clint Eastwood-esque barbarian, Darkwolf, to rescue her and defeat the momma's boy badguy.

If you've ever read any sword & sorcery novels or comic books, you won't find any surprises here. But the simple story and shallow characters service the action scenes well enough, and give Bakshi's animators and artists plenty of opportunity to bring many of Frazetta's most famous tableaus to life. The animation relies heavily on rotoscoping, a process in which live action footage is traced and enhanced by animators. With FIRE AND ICE, virtually the entire movie was shot in live action on a blank soundstage, and the footage used as a basis for the animation. This results in smooth character movement, and gives the action scenes a certain verisimilitude.

Blue Underground's DVD is astonishing, with a sharp 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer that brings new luster to this 22-year-old adventure epic. Colors are vibrant, and details that were invisible on Columbia's old VHS version are sharp and clear. The transfer also brings out a fair amount of the dust and speckling inherent in much pre-digital cel animation (early episodes of the BATMAN animated series suffer the same syndrome on DVD), but it's a minor distraction. The disc also includes a rambling but informative commentary track by director Bakshi, a video interview with Bakshi as he talks about his relationship with Frazetta, a great behind-the-scenes still gallery, and a video diary narrated by actor Sean Hannon, who played Nekron in the live action footage.

The real gem among the supplements, though, is a vintage behind-the-scenes featurette (unfortunately culled from an old VHS source, so the picture quality isn't very good), "The Making of FIRE AND ICE." Made at the time of the film's production, the featurette gives a great look at Bakshi's process in making the film, and includes plenty of the original live action footage, which reveals just how closely the performers resembled the hand-drawn characters. It also details Frazetta's close involvement in the production, from providing character and background designs to coaching and directing the movement of the live action performers.

Blue Underground's package also includes a second disc containing the acclaimed documentary, FRAZETTA: PAINTING WITH FIRE. This film aired on Bravo last year, and chronicles the famed artist's life, from his childhood in Brooklyn, through his years as the paperback industry's most popular cover artist, up to his recent stroke and the establishment of his museum. The doc includes interviews with comic book artists Neal Adams, Berni Wrightson and Dave Stevens, as well as other luminaries like illustrator William Stout, director John Milius and rock star/fan Glenn Danzig. It doesn't shy away from sensitive material, either, frankly discussing Frazetta's bouts of depression and emotional breakdown, his stroke, and often-strained relationship with his family.

Presented full-frame, the documentary makes a great companion to the feature film, and includes a commentary track by director Lance Laspina and producer Jeremy J. DiFiore.

For fans of classic adventure animation, sword and sorcery epics, Bakshi or Frazetta, picking up this disc (which streets today) is a no-brainer. Highly recommended.

An erotic fantasy from French director Bruno Gantillon, GIRL SLAVES OF MORGANA LE FAY (aka MORGANE ET SES NYMPHES, 1971) is a lush, visual treat, full of beautiful women and gorgeous scenery (or is that redundant?).

Two Parisian lipstick lesbians, Francoise (Mireille Saunin) and Anna, are touring the French countryside on holiday. After an ominous visit to a roadside pub, they spend the night in the hayloft of a nearby, abandoned farmhouse. The next morning, Francoise awakens to find Anna missing. Searching the nearby woods, she comes across a sinister dwarf (Alfred Baillou), who leads her to a nearby lake. There, she's taken to an island inhabited by beautiful women in matching pastel nightgowns. They take her to a castle where she is introduced to the sinister sorceress of Arthurian legend, Morgane le Fay (Dominique Delpierre). The immortal Morgane offers her a choice: she can stay at the castle as one of her lesbian love slaves and stay young and beautiful forever, or rot for eternity in her dungeon.

The movie's plot is a particularly thin one, upon which are hung many sapphic sex scenes, lovingly photographed in and around an authentic medieval castle. The women are lovely (and often naked), the performances are quite good and the atmosphere is erotically charged. The ending may seem like a cop out, but in this case, suits the film perfectly. It's never scary, but it's always fascinating and sexy.

Mondo Macabro's disc maintains their usual high standards, with a stunning 1.66:1 anamorphic transfer and optional English subtitles. Supplemental material includes deleted scenes, an interview with director Gantillon, the original theatrical trailer, extensive background notes and still gallery. The disc also includes Gantillon's short film, AN ARTISTIC COUPLE.

Another great disc from Mondo Macabro of an obscure genre title, and highly recommended to Eurocult fans.

Back in the Eighties, there were a lot of horror franchises, but few started out as strongly and plunged into pure shit as quickly as the HOWLING series. The first film, directed by Joe Dante, is a minor werewolf classic, with a smart, knowing script, sharp humor, and great performances by a solid genre cast. It also featured the then-groundbreaking special effects work of a young Rob Bottin, which changed the way make-up effects were done for the next two decades.

Unfortunately, the first sequel to that film, HOWLING 2: YOUR SISTER IS A WEREWOLF (1985), is another beast entirely.

Phillipe Mora (THE BEAST WITHIN) directed this train wreck of a movie, which stars Christopher Lee (the classic horror star of the Fifties and Sixties, best known today as Count Dooku in the STAR WARS prequels and as Saruman in the LORD OF THE RINGS), making his return to the horror genre after a several-year absence – something I'm sure he soon regretted – and busty B-movie queen Sybil Danning (L.A. BOUNTY, WARRIOR QUEEN).

The film opens in a rather European-looking "Los Angeles" churchyard, where monster hunter Stephan Crosscoe (Lee) approaches Ben White (stalwart Reb Brown, YOR – THE HUNTER FROM THE FUTURE), to inform him that – as the title states – his sister (portrayed by Dee Wallace in the first film, and replaced by another actress here) is a werewolf. The silver bullets that killed her were removed during her autopsy, so she isn't really dead. Sure enough, she rises from the grave that evening to be staked (!) and Ben – along with one of his late sister's cuter co-workers – is convinced to follow Stephan to Transylvania to put an end to the werewolf cult and its leader, the wolf queen Stirba (Danning).

Shot on location in Czechoslovakia (including the L.A. scenes) the movie's got some decent Gothic scenery, but that's about it. The script, which liberally mixes vampire and werewolf lore together and includes plenty of gratuitous, growling, group gropes by the horny werewolves, is a muddled mess. The acting – except for Lee – is atrocious, the make-up effects are cut-rate, the editing is confusing, and an 80's pseudo-new wave song that truly sucks dominates the soundtrack.

However, there's a fair amount of camp value in Danning's dominatrix gear and new wave sunglasses, Lee never loses his dignity, and there's a dwarf with exploding eyeballs. Despite – or perhaps because of its awfulness – HOWLING 2 does have its fans.

Sony/MGM's DVD has a beautiful cover that plays very nicely off the first film's famous poster image. It can also claim a gorgeous, 1.85:1 letterboxed transfer (a full-frame version is also included on the flip side, but I didn't even look at that), and crystal clear Dolby mono tracks in English and Spanish. They've also included the original theatrical trailer. No other extras, but I wouldn't expect any.

Overall, it's a fine presentation of a poor movie. If you're one of the fans from its endless Eighties cable showings, you'll want to pick it up for the great transfer. (I'm keeping this one myself.)

In 1979, there was a major Dracula revival. Frank Langella had successfully resurrected the classic play on Broadway, NBC's CLIFFHANGERS television series offered a "Dracula '79" weekly serial with Michael Nouri, and Louis Jourdan starred in a BBC adaptation of Bram Stoker's novel which aired on PBS stations in the U.S. Meanwhile, the John Badham DRACULA remake (with Langella) and Werner Herzog's NOSFERATU remake (with Klaus Kinski) both hit the big screen. LOVE AT FIRST BITE (1979), which was one of the final releases from the legendary American International Pictures, cunningly exploited this trend with probably the best vampire spoof ever made.

Suave George Hamilton (best known nowadays as a shill for Ritz chips) does his best Bela Lugosi impression as Count Dracula, who, along with his insect-eating assistant Renfield (Arte Johnson, LAUGH IN) are evicted from their Transylvanian castle by the Communist government. Looking for romance, Dracula travels to New York City, and courts self-absorbed fashion model Cindy Sondheim (Susan St. James). Of course, her psychiatrist and non-committed boyfriend (Richard Benjamin, WESTWORLD) is a descendant of the Count's legendary nemesis, Fritz(?) Van Helsing, and is determined to save her from the vampire's clutches. But does she really need saving?

Simply put, this is how to parody a horror icon. The movie, while never fall-down funny, is filled with chuckle-inducing gags and flawless comic performances. Also, being made in the Seventies, there's no political correctness to suck the fun out of the comedy. Hamilton is respectful of the Dracula character and remarkably sympathetic as the Old World romantic stuck in a society that places no value on romance, and somehow, his plight is even more poignant today.

Sony/MGM's DVD presents the film in it's original 1.85: 1 widescreen format, and is enhanced for anamorphic displays. (There's a cropped, full-frame version on the flip side.) The transfer is remarkably crisp and clean for a 26-year-old movie, and looks great. The soundtrack is Dolby mono, and clear.

Unfortunately, the Alicia Bridges disco anthem, "I Love the Night Life," which originally served as the backdrop to Hamilton and St. James' dance floor seduction scene, has been replaced with a highly inferior, generic song. I guess the studio didn't want to pay for the music rights, which is ironic, since nearly the whole Bridges tune can be heard in the theatrical trailer, which is included on the disc.

Soundtrack aberration aside, for horror fans with a sense of humor, LOVE AT FIRST BITE is essential viewing. Sure, some of the topical humor is dated, but overall, the movie and the comedy hold up well, thanks to the great performances of the entire cast.

Platinum Studios' RAGING SHARKS (2005) should have been called "ROARING" SHARKS, because director Danny Lerner (or someone else involved in the production) had the brilliant idea to dub in a lion's roar every time one of the aforementioned man-eaters attacks a cast member in this sci-fi potboiler.

A couple of alien spaceships crash somewhere in the universe, hurling a container filled with some unknown substance halfway across the galaxy. It lands on Earth – in the Bermuda Triangle, of course – and turns peaceful predators into RAGING SHARKS. Those furious finny fiends attack and cripple an undersea research complex, and the Navy sends a sub to rescue the survivors. But can they survive the RAGING SHARKS?

Sorry, just love that title.

Anyway, the movie stars Corin Nemec (PARKER LEWIS CAN'T LOSE, THE STAND), Vanessa Angel (KINGPIN, TV's WEIRD SCIENCE) and Corbin Bernsen (MAJOR LEAGUE, L.A. LAW) in a ludicrous undersea thriller that uses an entire "Shark Week's" worth of stock footage to fill out its running time.

The plot is ridiculous, combining and remixing various elements of such previous entries in the "undersea horror" genre as JAWS, DEEP BLUE SEA, THE ABYSS, LEVIATHAN and DEEP STAR SIX. Yet, the pace never lets up and the production values and special effects are pretty decent (even if the nuclear sub interiors looked more like a WW II-era diesel U-boat). The cast is also uniformly good, each one acting their hearts out in a valiant attempt to bring some class to the nonsensical story.

The Platinum disc presents the movie in a letterboxed, widescreen transfer with a 5.1 surround sound mix. The only extras on the disc are the trailer and optional Spanish subtitles.

If you're not expecting too much in the way of logic or sense, it's a fun time waster, worth an evening's rental. (And Vanessa Angel still looks great.)

Dark Sky Films is a new subsidiary of MPI Video, dedicated to the "darker" genre fare. Their premiere offerings include a documentary series about serial killers, a couple classic slasher films, and the little known film noir crime flick, WITHOUT WARNING (1952).

In many ways, this sunlit L.A. noir resembles today's various CSI television series, as it is, at heart, a police procedural, detailing the use of then-state-of-the-art forensic science to track down a spree killer who roams sunny 50s Los Angeles murdering buxom blondes with a pair of garden shears. Adam Williams (NORTH BY NORTHWEST) is the psycho gardener, taking revenge on his ex by offing every bimbo who reminds him of her, while police detective Ed Binns (12 ANGRY MEN) puts the full resources of the police department to work to stop him.

The performances are good, there's plenty of tension, and even some humor. It's a fine, late entry in the noir genre, and it's good to have this little-seen thriller on DVD.

Dark Sky's disc is culled from a good, clean print. There's some dust and debris scattered throughout – especially around the reel changes – but it's a decent black & white transfer, with good contrast, and solid blacks. The only extra on the disc is a still gallery, but the packaging and menus are especially well designed.

For fans of film noir or police procedurals, it's well worth checking out, and I look forward to more releases on the Dark Sky label.

That's it for this week. In the next column, I'll be taking a look at some genre television shows, old and new, as well as some great cliffhanger serials on DVD. See you then.

 


COMING ATTRACTIONS: FARSCAPE Starburst Editions, DARK SHADOWS, the Saturday matinee adventures of CAPTAIN MIDNIGHT, BATMAN & ROBIN and more.

Femme Noir by Mills and Staton

http://www.atomicpulp.com

http://www.supernaturalcrime.com

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Addicted to Bad
by Patrick Keller

International Intrigue
by Alison Veneto

Nocturnal Admissions
by D.K. Holm

Strange Impersonation
by Kim Morgan

Trailer Park
by Christopher Stipp




New DVD Releases
for April 11, 2006

DVD Diatribe
by D.K. Holm

DVD Late Show
by Christopher Mills




Preachin' from the Longbox
by Britt Schramm

Should It Be a Movie?
by Marc Mason

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New CD Releases
for April 11, 2006

Music for the Masses
by M.C. Bell




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Boob toob picks of the week by Chris Ryall

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