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Week of March 13, 2006

You can take "The Peacemaker," "Deep Impact," and "The Tuxedo." We'll take "Gladiator," "American Beauty" and anything else that didn't suck.

Emilio's 17

Yeah, like he needed all that overpriced crap anyway...

This lawsuit's going to make 'House Party' look like 'House Party Two!'

I told you... don't call me SENIOR!!

Maybe this is all a bad dream too?

Thanks Sharon, but I think I'll wait until this one comes out on DVD (so I can freeze frame of course)

There is absolutely, positively no nepotism in Hollywood. None.

You're good, baby, I'll give you that... but me? I'm magic.

This band will go down like a lead balloon

Well, Goodbye there Children...

They can't sell the Capitol Records building! What will be left to destroy in the next crappy 'end of the world' movie?

Same old Courtney - still sponging off Kurt

Panic on the streets of Austin

You're a fat, Botox faced, wig-wearing ninny! Oh yeah? Well your band has a dirty H addict as a lead singer!

Black Sabbath, Blondie, Miles Davis, The Sex Pistols, Lynyrd Skynyrd Enter Rock Hall



01 THE BREAK-UP $39.17
$12759/av

02 X-MEN: THE LAST STAND $34.02
$9159/av

03 OVER THE HEDGE $20.65
$5170/avg

04 THE DAVINCI CODE $18.61
$4953/avg

05 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III $4.68
$1756/avg

06 POSEIDON $3.49
$1283/avg

07 RV $3.20
$1469/avg

08 SEE NO EVIL $2.04
$1607/avg

09 AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH $1.36
$17615/avg

10 JUST MY LUCK $855K
$892/avg









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By Alison Veneto

December 16, 2004

Jackie Chan's Best Stunts
There's a lot of controversy about Jackie's stunts (particularly among his naysayers) about whether or not he did all of them. Or if he did them once and the stuntmen did them in other shots, perhaps the shots used for the movie. But for this list we're going to give him the benefit of the doubt. We'll assume he does his own stunts. We'll say, if he did it once, even though it's not the one in the movie, then he did it and it counts, and we'll let it go at that.

1. Fall From The Clocktower -- PROJECT A

This is one of Jackie's most well known stunts. It was really his first of the 'mega-stunts' and the one that all his other stunts are judged against. It's the one he keeps trying to top. But it's just crazy to fall so many stories.

2. The Leap From the Building to the Helicopter -- SUPERCOP (POLICE STORY III)

With SUPERCOP being one of the earlier films released in the United States, this was the picture of Jackie many people had in their minds -- Dangling from the helicopter on a rope ladder. It was the most impressive moment in a movie of impressive moments (including Michelle Yeoh driving a motorcycle onto a train!). To miss meant falling ten stories. It's the best example of the death-defying things Jackie will do to entertain us.

3. Sliding down the Christmas Light Pole and Dropping Through the Glass Ceiling -- POLICE STORY

Just how the Helicopter leap defined SUPERCOP, these two stunts together defined POLICE STORY. Discussing the injuries that Jackie received doing them is just upsetting (stopped breathing, dislocated pelvis -- an injury previous thought impossible). But watching them you feel the pain while your jaw drops in awe.

4. Running Down The Building -- WHO AM I?

Some may think I rated this rather high, because this is not a stunt he did without a safety net (he had wires), but when you in your mid-40s and on a building that is dozens of stories - 100 floors - then madness only goes so far. I list it so highly because despite it's lack of danger (although it's still pretty dangerous!) -- it is so cinematic! There is a man running down a skyscraper! The absurdity!

5. Motorcycle to Cargo Leap -- ARMOUR OF GOD II (OPERATION CONDOR)

Another leap? Well, come on, this stuff is impressive! This time he drives a motorcycle off a pier and leaps onto a cargo net. Now that's the way to end a car chase!

6. Hot Coals - DRUNKEN MASTER II

Now you are going to think I'm cheating because this fight is in the fights list. But stepping back from the fact that there is awesome fighting around this stunt, this stunt is something in itself. He's walking on hot coals! He also breathes fire at one point! But that's not the stunt we're talking about, we're talking about hot coals! And that's impressive.

7. Hanging From or Fighting on Moving Vehicles -- Lots of movies.

So Jackie does this in everything from POLICE STORY to his cameo in THE TWINS EFFECT. He does it so often you start to think that fighting, jumping, running and hanging off a moving vehicle isn't really that hard. But upon further reflection -- yes, yes it is. One of his best known instances of this is POLICE STORY II when he is on a bus jumping over and ducking under various signs and city do-dads.

8. Building-to-Building Leap -- RUMBLE IN THE BRONX

More leaping! A tall building to another tall building? Anytime missing means death, it's good enough for my list. In this movie he also leaps from a bridge to a boat (and broke his foot).

9. Falling Onto Hot Air Balloon - ARMOUR OF GOD II (OPERATION CONDOR)

High in the sky, Jackie lands and subsequently hangs off of a hot air balloon. This is the ending stunt of a very action-packed film and doesn't feel like an anti-climax after all that you've seen. He manages to top himself again. This film also has Jackie rolling around as his own kind of boy in the bubble. The bubble rolls down the hill but I can't guarantee that Jackie was inside at the time.

10. Running from Explosions -- All the time.

So, since the 90s (and even in the 80s), it's been pretty common for Jackie to run from an explosion in just about every movie -- Most recently, in NEW POLICE STORY. Sometimes he just runs or just runs and falls. But sometimes he'll run and leap through a window or a door or something. This doesn't seem impressive because Americans run from explosions, but not like they run from explosions in Hong Kong. You know that he's not cheating and that fireball is awfully close to his back. Yet he does it time after time. Special Mention: Hole In the Head Leap in ARMOUR OF THE GODS, while not his best or most interesting leap, he did miss and fall and hit his head on a rock, leaving a hole in his skull. Also, he falls from the pyramid of humans in DRAGON LORD (1982) and seems to hit his head pretty hard in the end. And he hits many humans on the pyramid on the way down, which couldn't have been pleasant for them.

Best Films for Stunts: POLICE STORY, POLICE STORY III: SUPERCOP and PROJECT A II: OPERATION CONDOR.

Want to know what Jackie thinks his top ten stunts are? Well buy his book! Or read the excerpt here.

Best Pure Fights
It's misleading to simply list what I think are his best fights because a lot of his films have a lot of little pretty good fights throughout. And chances are these are the ones you want to watch -- with as much Jackie Chan action as you can get. I feel the Jackie-Sammo-Biao films don't get as much mention as films of their caliber should. But with the impressive tricks being spread out over three very able guys and also being generally more acrobatic in nature (versus 'fights' or 'stunts'), it's hard to do them justice. But I will simply warn not to ignore those films, because they are some of the most impressive in terms of kinds of tricks and their frequency, and move on to tell you about Jackie's best figths.

1. Jackie Versus Benny Urquidez -- MEALS ON WHEELS and DRAGONS FOREVER

So, I'm just going to include both of these superb fights together and say hands down, Benny "The Jet" is Jackie's best adversary (But what's the eyeliner about Benny?). Benny is so fast! So, so, so fast! The DRAGONS FOREVER fight is the most commonly talked about but the shorter MEALS ON WHEELS encounter is also quite exciting. And these two films, featuring the acrobat hijinks of Yuen Biao and Sammo Hung, are pretty good flicks to take in even without these pinnacle fights in them. But the fights are must see -- Jackie at his best.

2. Hot Coals and the Warehouse -- DRUNKEN MASTER II

Lau Kar Leung's was showing us even in the 90s that he knows how it is done. His creativity and ingenuity are incredible. Put together with Jackie's skill and humor -- you can't go wrong.

3. Jackie v. Whong In Sik -- THE YOUNG MASTER

This is a pretty long fight by Jackie Chan fight standards but the mastery of the real life young and older masters will keep you fascinated till the end. Whang, a Korean hapkido master, was already a veteran of 20 films, but this is one of his best showcases. And while Jackie is not a technical martial artist, you couldn't tell here, where his great flexibility, quickness and athleticism is at its best.

4. All Feet, All Hands Rooftop Fight -- WHO AM I?

Jackie tries to escape to a roof only to find two men waiting for him. They first attack him one at a time -- one all feet, one all hands -- and then they attack him together as Jackie balances and jumps around a large pipe. All the fighting is dynamic and intense. Even though this film is later in Jackie's career (and age), he still proves himself to be quick and his opponents are well chosen for their talent.

5. Shopping Mall -- POLICE STORY

This only rates so low because it's not quite a prop fight but it's certainly not a 'pure' fight. It's a lot of people getting smashed through glass. It's one of the most out there (and painful looking) fight scenes ever in a movie. But it needs to be recognized somewhere because it, better than any other fight, shows how clinically insane Jackie Chan is. Not only is he performing his own stunts, he's directing -- which goes to show that no one pushes him harder than he pushes himself. But this fight is also worth it just to see how hard he pushes the Jackie Chan stunt team.

6. Amazons and Monks -- ARMOUR OF GOD

Jackie Chan versus very large scantily clad black women in heels? This could be the worst choreographed and performed fight of all time and it'd still make my list just for the concept. Fortunately it's a pretty good fight. And he fights some monks too. But really, the Amazon ladies are where it's at.

7. End Fight Scene - DRUNKEN MASTER

I could really just write "DRUNKEN MASTER" since the whole thing is one big fight scene (with lots and lots of training sequences in between). But by the end fight, Jackie has learned and crafted his drunken boxing and we get to see it in its fully glory. It's what we've been waiting for through every one of the training sequences. One of the most original and fun to watch styles ever created for film, put to deadly use!

8. Trying Not To Kill Each Other Fight -- SNAKE IN THE THE EAGLE'S SHADOW

So, Jackie does fight the bad guy in the end but it's a little too campy for me to really appreciate it. I feel the best show of skill in the film is when the bad guy meets Jackie and Jackie doesn't know he's the bad guy and they fight so the bad guy can size him up. I think it's a great, energetic fight that has more umph than the finale. It doesn't have to be dramatic like the finael, they're both taking it lightly but seriously (if that makes sense). You can see they're just having fun but there's underlying deadly competition. A great show of Jackie's skill.

9. Jackie Versus Dick Wei -- HEART OF DRAGON/FIRST MISSION

This is essentially a 'prop fight' but it's so vicious I can't very well put it in the category with the fluffy stuff. Jackie always does well against opponents who step it up a notch and Dick Wei is intense. This fight is particularly violent -- knives and pipes and such. It's got some great show-off moves on both sides (flips and spinning kicks and such). This is a film that isn't known for it's fighting (it's a touchy feely drama with Sammo playing mentally challenged), but in the finale of this film Jackie fights several opponents and in the end they all jump out the window when the building blows up (do it, stunt team).

10. Bar Brawl or Final Fight -- PROJECT A

This is for you folks. I'm just not really bowled over by PROJECT A in any way. These group fights are a little disorienting. But everyone seems to love these two fights in PROJECT A, so I will acknowledge that everyone is probably not crazy and include it on my list. The fights have too many people for me, but if melee is your thing, here it is.

Honorable Mention -- GORGEOUS. Mostly a love story, the very few instances of fighting in this film are very good. But the end fight -- a boxing match -- is something a little different for Jackie and something a little fun. Elements of boxing have always been noticeable in his style (picked up from Bruce Lee perhaps? Who also used boxing in his style). So, while not as satisfying as an all out Jackie Chan stunt-fest, it's a cute little change of pace.

Best Films for Fights: DRUNKEN MASTER, SNAKE IN THE EAGLE'S SHADOW, YOUNG MASTER and DRUNKEN MASTER II.

Read Jackie's take on his top ten fights here.

Best Prop Fights
Fighting with everyday props is Jackie's signature. Usually he'll do it just for a few seconds and move on to something else, but here is a list of his best.

1. Bench Fight and Under Train -- DRUNKEN MASTER II

While under the train is not entirely a prop fight (although they do have weapons) it's so gimicky (they're under a train!) I felt obliged to use it here. Jackie fights Lau Kar Leung himself -- under a train! It's not the best fight ever due to constraints, but conceptually it just blows your mind. As for the bench fight in the town square, I think it's Jackie's best of all time. It's funny, it's creative -- and with great choreography. It's just the best.

2. Playground -- POLICE STORY II

With a fight like this it's hard to say if I should put it under fights or prop fights. But a prop doesn't have to be something you can hold in your hand. And Jackie weaves in and out of the playground equipment like he controls it. This is one fun and entertaining fight scene.

3. Ladder - FIRST STRIKE

I know most people aren't wild about this movie, but the ladder fight is damn cool. It's such an unwieldy, unlikely prop and they come up with some great ways to use it. They use it in every way you can think of and more. I'd rent the film just for these few choice minutes.

4. Rope Tricks -- MIRACLE

The actual rope tricks are part of a larger fight, but are the best part of it if you ask me. Once again he wields his prop like a natural. And with a rope so big and long it could easily move slowly, but Jackie's quickness takes over making it well paced and fascinating.

5. BOATS as props -- Lots of stuff. Jackie uses elements of boats as a prop in his fighting in everything from CITY HUNTER to RUMBLE IN THE BRONX to even RUSH HOUR 2. He has lots of fights on boats and he'll swing from a mast or a handrail or whatever is available. Although not known for it's fights, GORGEOUS has a good little fight on a boat where Jackie really slides in and out of the crannies of his pimpin' ride.

Honorable Mention: Everytime Jackie uses his clothes. Twisting his jacket around folks really never gets old.

Not Quite Stunts, Not Quite Fights
I feel obliged to mention some of my favorite moments in Jackie Chan's films that are purely action set pieces that don't fit into these lists. The first one is driving through the Shantytown in POLICE STORY. That runaway car (bad gag, good destruction) crashed through house after poorly constructed house (they're more like sheds really). I couldn't believe it when I saw it the first time. Similarly, my jaw was on the floor when they bulldozed the mansion in MR. NICE GUY. I mean, a mansion! I thank Jackie Chan and his collaborators for satisfying my need for destruction.

Jackie Chan's Best: LEGEND OF DRUNKEN MASTER
This is hands down the best Jackie Chan film ever (although I believe Jackie thinks his best is POLICE STORY). Directed by legendary Shaw Brother's director Lar Kar Leung (36th CHAMBER OF SHOALIN), it is the perfect storm of directing, choreographing and acting talent. When it comes to fight choreography, Lau Kar Leung turns it up a notch here. This film has its own unique fighting style (a movie version of Drunken Boxing), it has a decent story and good characters (Anita Mui as his Mom, although not old enough to be his Mom, is a great character - who was well done by a great actress). A lot of Jackie's best fights are in this film -- under the train car with Lau Kar Leung, the fight in the square with the bench and the final fight which includes some hot coals. This movie works on every level. And unlike a lot of his movies, there are no parts that don't work.

My Favorite: WHO AM I?
This movie has one of Jackie's Best Fights and one of his Best Stunts. It has a great car chase. It has some good comedy (I love him in the dutch shoes!). You just can't go wrong. It has a common Jackie plot device -- where all his antics include not one but two girls. The girls are cute enough without being annoying. And the plot isn't great but is at least coherent. But mostly, this film goes through every kind of action from being chased and running away to standing your ground and duking it out. And the use of different types of action, one after another, will keep you interested as each set piece gets better. It's my favorite to watch. Perfectly mindless, perfectly entertaining.

My Brother's Favorite: MR. NICE GUY
I was fortunate that when I was younger my brother had a Jackie Chan phase. Therefore I had access to many badly subtitled 3rd generation VHS copies of his films (better than nothing!). So, I thought it was only right that I asked him what his favorite of Chan's films was and he chose MR. NICE GUY. This is a bit of a controversial choice really because I know a lot of folks just do not like this movie. But my brother's reasoning is that he likes that there are little fights sprinkled throughout the whole film. Therefore it never gets too slow and the action never stops. While one of the most ridiculous Chan films plot-wise (first off, he's a TV chef), I must agree with him that the little spurts of action are fun. And I think the ridiculousness extends from the plot to the film -- in a good way. It's no secret that I am a big fan of the destructive finale. When I saw that giant machine (with wheels bigger than Jackie Chan) all I could think was 'Ho Damn!'. So, if you know this film is ridiculous and can accept that it's ridiculous, then give it a shot. The people who like it really like it because you can have such a good time watching it if you let yourself.

IN TWO WEEKS: A look at the year 2004 in Hong Kong and Chinese film. A look at some of their high profile flicks I haven't reviewed yet like KEKEXILI, 2046 and TWINS EFFECT II among other things.

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Addicted to Bad
by Patrick Keller

International Intrigue
by Alison Veneto

Nocturnal Admissions
by D.K. Holm

Strange Impersonation
by Kim Morgan

Trailer Park
by Christopher Stipp




New DVD Releases
for April 11, 2006

DVD Diatribe
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DVD Late Show
by Christopher Mills




Preachin' from the Longbox
by Britt Schramm

Should It Be a Movie?
by Marc Mason

New Comic Book Releases
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New CD Releases
for April 11, 2006

Music for the Masses
by M.C. Bell




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TV Pilot Review Archives
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