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Week of March 13, 2006

You can take "The Peacemaker," "Deep Impact," and "The Tuxedo." We'll take "Gladiator," "American Beauty" and anything else that didn't suck.

Emilio's 17

Yeah, like he needed all that overpriced crap anyway...

This lawsuit's going to make 'House Party' look like 'House Party Two!'

I told you... don't call me SENIOR!!

Maybe this is all a bad dream too?

Thanks Sharon, but I think I'll wait until this one comes out on DVD (so I can freeze frame of course)

There is absolutely, positively no nepotism in Hollywood. None.

You're good, baby, I'll give you that... but me? I'm magic.

This band will go down like a lead balloon

Well, Goodbye there Children...

They can't sell the Capitol Records building! What will be left to destroy in the next crappy 'end of the world' movie?

Same old Courtney - still sponging off Kurt

Panic on the streets of Austin

You're a fat, Botox faced, wig-wearing ninny! Oh yeah? Well your band has a dirty H addict as a lead singer!

Black Sabbath, Blondie, Miles Davis, The Sex Pistols, Lynyrd Skynyrd Enter Rock Hall



01 THE BREAK-UP $39.17
$12759/av

02 X-MEN: THE LAST STAND $34.02
$9159/av

03 OVER THE HEDGE $20.65
$5170/avg

04 THE DAVINCI CODE $18.61
$4953/avg

05 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III $4.68
$1756/avg

06 POSEIDON $3.49
$1283/avg

07 RV $3.20
$1469/avg

08 SEE NO EVIL $2.04
$1607/avg

09 AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH $1.36
$17615/avg

10 JUST MY LUCK $855K
$892/avg









E-MAIL THE AUTHOR

GAME ON!

By Ian Bonds

October 29, 2004

Well, folks, it’s finally here. The most anticipated game of the year (for PS2 owners anyway) has finally hit the streets, and as many of you already know by now, the wait has been worth it. GRAND THEFT AUTO: SAN ANDREAS is by far the biggest, boldest and most epic game in the series yet, and these are no small words. Believe the hype; this game is larger than life.

I’m not going to spend time telling you what you already know. You’ve heard the plot (in my preview last month) and you know the tale. Yes, San Andreas is a state, not a city, made up of three main areas (Los Santos, San Fierro and Las Venturas), but there’s also countryside, mountains and deserts in between the cities, sprawling out as far as the eye can see. What’s more is what you can DO in these areas. You’ve got your normal GTA standards of car jacking, general mayhem and reckless abandon, but your thug skills can grow exponentially now. As you progress through the game, you gain the respect of your fellow gang members, depending on how well you complete missions,
how you behave around them, even on how you dress and look. The more respect you have, the more likely you are to have backup if any rival gangs come around.

It’s almost as if it’s a GTA RPG. The more you do things, the better you get at doing them. Shoot pistols a lot, your skills increase. Run or ride bikes, your stamina will rise. And as you progress through each town, your notoriety will follow you. There’s a certain amount of customization you can give your character CJ, and it’s not just for looks alone. Wear your gang colors to represent your crew, or just to raise your sex appeal with the ladies. You can get hair cuts and tattoos as well to update your look or to get the cops off your tail. Eat food to get health and strength. Work out to tone that fat into muscle. It’s almost as if they smashed GTA into FABLE. The game is deep, to say the least.

Many folks who claim not to like the GTA series due to it’s repetition of the same types of missions will be eating crow here. With a game of this size, there would have to be variety to keep things fresh and interesting, otherwise you wouldn’t want to play it through to the end. From standard driving missions, run and guns, rescue and the like, to missions that train you subtly on how to perfect your fighting techniques, or even on how to fly a plane, everything is represented. There are even some DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION type mini games to bust some moves on the dance floor, or just bounce around the hydraulics on your hooptie. You can play basketball. You can gamble at casinos. You can swim. YOU CAN SKYDIVE. There’s virtually something for everyone in this game. GTA fans will be the happiest, but there’s so much to do and see
here, casual gamers won’t even get bored. It’s very difficult to not like this game, especially if you’re a fan of the culture it’s showcasing. This could be called the worlds first Gangsta Sim, and it would be a very accurate categorization.

One thing that was worrying me with all the new features they were adding to the game was that they may detract from the core gameplay we all know and love and expect from the series. Thankfully, that’s not the case, and each new feature just adds more to the whole experience, making this title undoubtedly the strongest of the series. And it’s not just the new features either. The whole area of San Andreas adds to the scope and magnitude of the game. You are walking around a living breathing state, full of people, passions, crimes, punishment and all walks of life. You can now interact with the other characters (such as the pedestrians) that make idle comments at your appearance or stature with a simple tap of the d-pad. Press left for a negative response to their comments, and right for a positive. It’s a subtle touch that makes the world seem that much more real, and gives you the feeling of truly being in control of this characters’ thoughts and decisions, more so than any other GTA title. You can also recruit gang
members with the d-pad, and the amount of respect points you have is congruent with how many members will join up with you at a time. It’s always nice to have a posse watch your back in a fight, and treat your friends right, and they’ll do the same.

The game wouldn’t seem as large as it does if it weren’t for the people in it, and what makes them all so real is the characterizations given to them by the outstanding voice work. Once again, Hollywood has been tapped for actors to voice game characters, and this time they’ve gone all out. Up and coming rapper Young Malay voices CJ, while other character voices are provided by the likes of Samuel L. Jackson, Chris Penn, Faizon Love, James Woods, David Cross, Andy Dick, Casey Siemaszko, Bijou Philips, Peter Fonda…the list goes on. Members of the music community also make appearances, not just with the game’s score, but as characters on the radio and in the streets, featuring MC Eiht, Ice T, Kid Frost, Chuck D, Scott Ian (of Anthrax), W. Axl Rose (as radio DJ Tommy “The Nightmare” Smith), Michael Bivens (of Bel Biv Devoe), reggae superstars Sly and Robbie, George Clinton, and members of Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E. Of course, the musicians also provide MUSIC too, and San Andreas features the most variety of music in any game ever. From the hip hop staples befitting the theme of the game, to old school soul and funk, classic rock, alternative and reggae, to even country and house music, there’s something for EVERYONE to listen to.

The sheer amount of things you can do, places you can go, and stuff you can see in the state is staggering. You can’t just buy houses and stores, you can break into them and steal stuff. You can gamble at casinos. You can hijack trains. You can fly to other parts
of the state (with or without you behind the controls). Hell, there are even two-player missions spread throughout the game, activated by passing over the appropriate icons and pressing the start button on the second controller. There are so many secrets, I can’t even list them all. From snapshot opportunities, tagging over rival gang graffiti, collecting secret packages, horseshoes… hell, there are even characters from the other GTA games that make appearances. I’m not going to give anything away, but their names ARE listed in the instruction manual.

For everything that is new and great in this game, there are still the old standards for a GTA game that remain true for this title. The violence is everywhere. So much so that many times, it’s not even YOU perpetuating it. Cops will chase down other criminals with the same vigor they’ll hunt you with. The CPU controlled drivers in the game vary from the skillful to the downright careless. The graphics of the game remain true to the two previous next-gen titles of the series, but have what I like to refer to as a “cartoonish realism” that makes things just one step shy of authentic. The characters are colorful and
varied, and the detail is on par with, yet slightly above the previous games. The vehicles all handle differently, and you can really tell the difference between the cars from this game and ones from previous adventures. The overall look of the game, from the colors of the surroundings, to the weather effects for each location is one of sheer brilliance. And sure, it does contain some of the same maladies of the past games as well, such as minor stutter and pop up in some locations, but these instances are so few and far between that they don’t detract from the overall gameplay…some are so small you barely even notice them at all. Everything runs so smoothly, from the seamless transition from city to city (no load times!) to the driving and handling of the hundreds of controllable vehicles. Even the combat, while remaining similar to the previous games, has vastly improved over the former. Targeting is much more intuitive, and the weapon selection and styles of fighting are much more expansive that ever before. The only time you might notice a little hiccup in the gameplay or graphics would be during a major car wreck or a mass of gang members on screen dying en mass. Beyond that, it’s the smoothest the series has ever run.

I haven’t even scratched the surface here with this game, but I don’t want to give too much away. You have to play it for yourself to see. It’s not just a bigger game in regards to size of the gameplay area. It’s a biggest game in regards to the sheer scope of the seemingly endless amounts of things you can do. This isn’t just GTA anymore, this is a whole new experience tacked onto the style and sensibilities of GTA. It doesn’t just add to the game, it heightens and enhances it beyond gameplay never thought possible. Simply put, this is the single best game out for PS2, ever. You will buy it (if you haven’t already). You will love it (if you don’t already). And you will swear by it…even if you already do. Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

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Addicted to Bad
by Patrick Keller

International Intrigue
by Alison Veneto

Nocturnal Admissions
by D.K. Holm

Strange Impersonation
by Kim Morgan

Trailer Park
by Christopher Stipp




New DVD Releases
for April 11, 2006

DVD Diatribe
by D.K. Holm

DVD Late Show
by Christopher Mills




Preachin' from the Longbox
by Britt Schramm

Should It Be a Movie?
by Marc Mason

New Comic Book Releases
for April 12, 2006, 2006




New CD Releases
for April 11, 2006

Music for the Masses
by M.C. Bell




TV Recommendations
Boob toob picks of the week by Chris Ryall

Kentucky Fried Rasslin'
by Scott Bowden

TV Pilot Review Archives
by Chris Ryall



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