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Week of March 13, 2006

You can take "The Peacemaker," "Deep Impact," and "The Tuxedo." We'll take "Gladiator," "American Beauty" and anything else that didn't suck.

Emilio's 17

Yeah, like he needed all that overpriced crap anyway...

This lawsuit's going to make 'House Party' look like 'House Party Two!'

I told you... don't call me SENIOR!!

Maybe this is all a bad dream too?

Thanks Sharon, but I think I'll wait until this one comes out on DVD (so I can freeze frame of course)

There is absolutely, positively no nepotism in Hollywood. None.

You're good, baby, I'll give you that... but me? I'm magic.

This band will go down like a lead balloon

Well, Goodbye there Children...

They can't sell the Capitol Records building! What will be left to destroy in the next crappy 'end of the world' movie?

Same old Courtney - still sponging off Kurt

Panic on the streets of Austin

You're a fat, Botox faced, wig-wearing ninny! Oh yeah? Well your band has a dirty H addict as a lead singer!

Black Sabbath, Blondie, Miles Davis, The Sex Pistols, Lynyrd Skynyrd Enter Rock Hall



01 THE BREAK-UP $39.17
$12759/av

02 X-MEN: THE LAST STAND $34.02
$9159/av

03 OVER THE HEDGE $20.65
$5170/avg

04 THE DAVINCI CODE $18.61
$4953/avg

05 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III $4.68
$1756/avg

06 POSEIDON $3.49
$1283/avg

07 RV $3.20
$1469/avg

08 SEE NO EVIL $2.04
$1607/avg

09 AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH $1.36
$17615/avg

10 JUST MY LUCK $855K
$892/avg









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GAME ON!

By Ian Bonds

August 13, 2004

Hello again gamers, and welcome to another Game On! Special Feature. As I'm sure loyal readers will note, I often like to tie columns in to recent movies or events, and this week is no different. However, this is not my typical "Comics To Games" column, yet it does share a lot of common themes. You see, the ALIEN VS PREDATOR series' history is a convoluted one, so allow me to clarify it briefly before we begin. First, there were the ALIEN movies, then the PREDATOR films. Then, there were comics based on combining the two properties (done by Dark Horse comics) which were very popular, and thusly spawned video games. Finally, a fanboys wet dream, the movie finally came to fruition. However, the video games (as well as the movie out in theaters today) have little to nothing to do with the comic property established by Dark Horse. The movie is really a sequel to the PREDATOR films, yet a prequel to the ALIEN films, while the games are entities all their own. Using the basic ideas of the comics, but driving in different directions.

In 1992, the video gaming world's obsession with AvP began with Capcom's stellar side scrolling brawler, ALIENS VS PREDATOR. Kick ass action, with you playing as one of two Predator Hunters, or as one of two Marines, kicking ass and blasting down any Aliens in your way. Sadly, this game never made it to the home consoles. What follows are the remaining game titles to bear the licensed name.

ALIEN VS PREDATOR (SNES - 1993)

Taking the side scrolling beat 'em up idea from the arcade game, and totally ruining it was apparently the aim for this Activision developed title. Gone are all the kick-ass moves from the Capcom arcade game, as well as the large sprites and, well, the Marines as well. No, here, you could only play as a Predator, beating up endless arrays of color-swapped Aliens as they each leapt and scrambled on screen.

One of the main flaws with the title was its lack of moves. You had one major attack button, and you jammed on that constantly to fend off the hordes of Alien creatures attacking you in the same pattern as the ones that had just left the screen. You could do some special attacks (such as your arm cannon) but they took so long to take effect, it was essentially worthless as you usually got hit trying to shoot. There were also various power ups and weapons lying around, but you couldn't pick up a new on until your supply of
your currently held item was used up. Lame. I'd rather use the discs than the spear. Well, gotta throw ALL the spears first.

The graphics were huge, but not in the way that the arcade game was. No, all the characters looked, well...fat. The Alien's were more bulky than tall, and the repetition of the graphics of the same Alien creatures (only palate-swapped) made this even more monotonous. The sound was at least decent, with creature effects and such, but the music was nothing special.

Bottom line, they should have had Capcom port the arcade game. Actually, there's still time, if you're listening, Capcom. New movie out, I'm sure there'll be a game based on it. Include the arcade game, for our sake.

One Gamer's Opinion:

ALIENS VERSUS PREDATOR: THE LAST OF HIS CLAN (GAMEBOY - 1993)

Again, we've got side scrolling action with you playing as JUST the Predator. Honestly, these games should have been called PREDATOR VS ALIENS, as that's all that really seems to be going on. The Predator going through various locations infested with the giant Aliens.

Honestly, I haven't played this game nearly enough to give an accurate description of it, but that's only because it's even lamer than the SNES game. Control is even more limited (even less amount of buttons) and the graphics are typical GameBoy fare. Wander the various gray and green landscapes in order to
survive as the last of your Predator clan. If anyone can figure out why this game sucks so much, please tell me, cause even after playing it (for only about 15 minutes, honestly) I never wanted to pick it up again. It's just so painful. Only for completists.

One Gamer's Opinion:

ALIEN VS PREDATOR (ATARI JAGUAR - 1997)

Ah, finally, something different. Predating the PC first person shooters that will be universally known as the cream of the AvP crop, this title for Atari's failed 64-bit gaming system is the hidden gem, not only of AvP games, but also of that long-gone system. Released two years prior to the PC FPS' (also developed by Revolution, this title's developer) you choose your path as either a Marine, Predator, or finally, Alien drone. Each character's path is unique to them, and your goals are obviously different as well.

For Marine, it's simple: survive. Don't get taken out by the big-uglies. Shoot everything in sight. For the Predator, it's a bit different. Hunt, but not always run-and-gun. Using stealth is key for the Predator goals, and killing with Honor is valued above all else. You earn Honor points for not striking...well, dishonorably (such as while invisible). The Alien's missions are the most unique, I feel. Infest. Find hosts
in which to spawn your brethren and continue the lifespan of yourself and your species. Ew.

The graphics here are fairly good for a cartridge based game, and while they do show their age, the also showcase what is to come in the PC versions. Character models are large and detailed, and the HUD is unique for each character, displaying missions, weapons, etc. The sound is dead-on, with minimal music but excellent use of sound effects from the movies for the creatures.

If you have the means, pick up this title. It's worth the hunt, and was one of the best titles for the Jaguar before its demise a few short years later.

One Gamer's Opinion:

ALIENS VERSUS PREDATOR: EXTINCTION (PS2, XBOX - 2001)

By now, the PC FPS' are an established property for AvP, and when it made its move to the home consoles again, some folks were a bit confused. This title, from developer Electronic Arts, was not a FPS at all, but rather a RTS (real time strategy) game. Here, you chose once again from the likes of Predators, Aliens or Marines in an all out war against each species.

With most RTS games, you'd have to set up land and build you bases, etc. Not so here, and that's a good thing. This game takes you right into the action, allowing you to command your array of troops (be they human or otherwise) to take out the opposition. Have your Marine's flank the Queen, or allow your Predator hunters to slice and dice up the human soldiers. The game involved real tactical strategy to your attacks, and it showed through in the final product.

However, control was a bit of an issue for the home console. RTS' do very well on a PC, but not as well on a console, mainly due to the fact that an analog controller doesn't quite control as well as a mouse and keyboard, especially when highlighting a specific troop or set of troops to carry out an order. Plus, the commands and situations would get a bit tiresome after a while, and the game would slowly drag into repetition.

At least it looked and sounded good. The character animations were very unique, and some of the things
they did in battle were truly cool to watch (such as a Marine taking the discs away from a defeated Predator and tossing them aside). The sounds once again borrowed heavily from the films and everything resonated with that "scary monster" sound.

If you're a fan of the traditional types of RTS', you may want to look elsewhere, but don't give up on AvP:E right away. It may not be perfect, but it's a nice change from what has come before.

One Gamer's Opinion:

And that wraps our little lesson up this week (I feel like Video Games 101 sometimes). Like I said, there's sure to be a game based on the recent movie, so here's hoping Capcom's making it, and they include the original arcade game as an unlockable or something. See you in the funny pages (or in the movies).

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Addicted to Bad
by Patrick Keller

International Intrigue
by Alison Veneto

Nocturnal Admissions
by D.K. Holm

Strange Impersonation
by Kim Morgan

Trailer Park
by Christopher Stipp




New DVD Releases
for April 11, 2006

DVD Diatribe
by D.K. Holm

DVD Late Show
by Christopher Mills




Preachin' from the Longbox
by Britt Schramm

Should It Be a Movie?
by Marc Mason

New Comic Book Releases
for April 12, 2006, 2006




New CD Releases
for April 11, 2006

Music for the Masses
by M.C. Bell




TV Recommendations
Boob toob picks of the week by Chris Ryall

Kentucky Fried Rasslin'
by Scott Bowden

TV Pilot Review Archives
by Chris Ryall



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