Stupid babies need the most attention.

[Cuclean]

I'm guessing that a lot of you have worked serving the public at one stage or another in your life. Customers ask some of the stupidest questions. Feel free to tell a story or even a one off question.

I'll start off.


Customer: 'Can I have a bottle of water?'

Staff member next to me: ' Would you like Still or Sparkling water?'

Customer: 'What's the difference?'


http://www.lolblog.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/facepalm.jpg

[Cuclean]

Yesterday in work. The foyer has one staircase. Just one.


Customer: 'Is that the way upstairs?'

http://www.lolblog.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/facepalm.jpg

[Sharp-O]

I wanted to take a cheap plastic hoe to every fucker who would come up to me and ask how much something was. In Poundland. :mad:

[TheHangingBrain]

Customer: My boss would like to change his return flight to the one that is an hour earlier.

Me: That would be an additional $800.

Customer: OK, go ahead and make that change.


And people wonder why business are failing. :rolleyes:

[Sharp-O]

Customer: My boss would like to change his return flight to the one that is an hour earlier.

Me: That would be an additional $800.

Customer: OK, go ahead and make that change.


And people wonder why business are failing. :rolleyes:

Is an hour really worth 800 bucks? Fucking hell.....

[JasterIsFett]

In Poundland.

Sounds like a very cheap Brothel.

[Sharp-O]

Sounds like a very cheap Brothel.

You wouldn't be far wrong either.

[freetoaster]

That's one cheap piece of ass.

[McMarcoP]

Me: "Good morning, **** technical support, my name is Marco, how can I help you?"
Cust: (no greetings) "Your [choice word] [product] doesn't work, send me a replacement! Now! I got it 3 days ago and it was already broken! Serial number is [number]"
Me: "Can I have your details please?"
Cust: "Why do you need my details now?"
Me: "Uh... to know where to send the replacement if my troubleshooting doesn't fix the issue?"
Cust: "Yeah, right. [London address]"
Me: "So, I need to know what exactly is wrong with your [product]"
Cust: "It just doesn't work"
Me: "Can you tell me if it makes any noise, or if the lights on the front behave in some particular way?"
Cust: "No noise, the lights go on when I switch it on then go off and do nothing else. It is broken I say!"
Me: "Hm, OK, sounds like it... sorry but I need to ask you a couple more questions. Could you please try to replace the SCSI cable that connects it to your computer?"
Cust: "Is there a... sh*t" (hangs up)

You should all read Customers Suck, anyway :) I am an expert lurker there.

[Cocoapebbles]

Sounds like a very cheap Brothel.

I got lost. I didn't read what you quoted. I thought you quoted...

Is an hour really worth 800 bucks? Fucking hell.....

Does the Library really pay that much, Mike?

[JasterIsFett]

I got lost. I didn't read what you quoted. I thought you quoted...

Does the Library really pay that much, Mike?

Not nearly enough for some of the stuff I put up with.

[JK]

I can think of a couple of situations where an hour would be worth 800 bucks. :D

[TheHangingBrain]

I can think of a couple of situations where an hour would be worth 800 bucks. :D

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a115/outkhazted/robert-deniro-analyze-that-photogra.jpg

[McMarcoP]

You should all read Customers Suck, anyway :) I am an expert lurker there....actually... there is a poster there who goes by the screen-name of CYPHR and has an avatar that resembles quite closely the one Cypher uses here... same person?

[Jeremy Beadle]

I wasn't made for customer service, there's just far too much casual rudeness going around. After the fifth or sixth incident of any given day, I'd just go tonto :(

Can't remember any incidents that were funny, just annoying/depressing. Working in a shop was bollocks, particularly the catering industry. People turn into asswipes around food.

Strange but true.

[Jason Shiffy]

Customer: So why do they call it a Blu Ray
Me: Because of ''Avatar''
Customer: I knew it!
http://www.jaynedarcy.us/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/dumbass.jpg

[Cuclean]

After buying an ice cream at the interval, a customer picked up on of these...

http://www.allianceonline.co.uk/product_images/VIS00001.jpg and asked me 'Is this a spoon?'

[Thinman]

I am a clerk overnight... so i get my share. Where to start? Oh i know this one always disturbs me...
People who will ask if they can buy a pack of cigarettes with their Food Stamps :mad:

http://www.groundworklawrence.org/files/images/massachusetts.jpg

[Cuclean]

During the pre-show of the matinee today I was seating people upstairs. A senior gentleman came up the stairs to me inside the auditorium and told me that his seat was on the inside of the row. He didn't want to disturb the people in his row and he wanted to get a seat further back to avoid asking people to get up.

After telling him for a minute or so that the show was sold out, that there weren't any available seats further back and that the people wouldn't mind standing up to let him into his seat, he told me that he wanted a refund.

He was six steps away from his seat, five minutes to showtime and he left because he didn't want to disturb people. This is during the time where everyone takes their seats.

He wasn't timid. He was quite brash and outspoken to me. He got his refund and his ticket was sold seconds later to someone who didn't mind saying 'Sorry, can I get past you there please?'.
:rolleyes:

[ChewieVasquez]

Back when I worked in the furniture department at Babies R Us, there was a customer who called me retarded because we didn't have something in stock. I would have gotten right in her face but my manager and supervisor were right there with me. But while I was still helping her I went to the back to check on something else I saw the crib she wanted is there, it just didn't show up because it wasn't scanned in. Too bad I was too retarded to tell her. I made her order one and I made sure to call her a few days after it came in. And I later found out that my manager and supervisor wouldn't have cared if I went off on her. They said she deserved it.

[Cuclean]

Back when I worked in the furniture department at Babies R Us, there was a customer who called me retarded because we didn't have something in stock.

My flat out rule. If a customer ever uses language at me, raises their voice or they full on insult me. I turn, tell them I'm not paid to take abuse from them and walk. Fuck them. I can tolerate stupid customers, but cunts? No way.

I was once berated by a customer. They were late for a show. So first off they're in the wrong and have their attack up and ready. I hate my job so so God damn much as you all know. It at times kills me to be there but the one thing I will always do my damnedest to do is make sure customers have a good time there. To me, that's my job. The customer in question tried to make out that I was going out of my way to make them have a bad night as I wouldn't let them inside the theatre.

A theatre is not a cinema. There are people in front of you performing. If you're late, you're lucky to get in at all. Obviously none of this comes out as I'm being nice to latecomers and try and explain that they have to wait until either a suitable point, or the interval (depending on the show) to get in.

This ass-hat knew what he was doing. After asking me several times to be let in to stand at the back, he came up to me and quietly and without any foul language told me how I was enjoying ruining his and his wife's night. He kept talking at me. My heart started racing and I felt like pulling a Homer Simpson punch (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPcXZkR2GWI&feature=related) (in Spanish none the less). I took it for as long as I felt comfortable with, turned away (the phone was right beside me) and rang my boss in the office. I said to the boss (in front of the customer) '*Boss*, get down to the foyer. I'm not paid to deal with this kind of...' (Massive pause, followed by a look of pure hate at the dickhead in question) 'clientelle'.

I walked away. The guy didn't say a word to me about how I had cut him off because he knew he was being a shit.:mad:

[BOP TILL U DROP]

Back when I worked in the furniture department at Babies R Us, there was a customer who called me retarded because we didn't have something in stock. I would have gotten right in her face but my manager and supervisor were right there with me. But while I was still helping her I went to the back to check on something else I saw the crib she wanted is there, it just didn't show up because it wasn't scanned in. Too bad I was too retarded to tell her. I made her order one and I made sure to call her a few days after it came in. And I later found out that my manager and supervisor wouldn't have cared if I went off on her. They said she deserved it.

Oh, brother. You are taking me back to my Wal-Mart days. Thank goodness your supervisor was cool with how you felt, because our "The Customer is Always Right" rule ALWAYS leaves the employees to the hellions. Christmas and back-to-school time were the absolute worst seasons for me because 60% of the time, customers were animals all the time.

[Cuclean]

"The Customer is Always Right"

Even when I'm the customer I don't believe that statement. Customers can be idiots.