The FRED SPAM Thread

[TomHarrington]

Embracing Your Dark Side
with Emperor Palpatine

EYDS is an intensive two-day seminar lead by former Imperial Senator, President and Sith Lord, Emperor Palpatine. The event takes place in Emperor Palpatine's exclusive, state-of-the-art retreat on Naboo, where guests will be pampered with every modern luxury.

Harnessing years of acquired wisdom and experience in the Dark Arts, Emperor Palpatine will show you a path to the Dark Side that's easy to follow and understand. He'll demonstrate the inherent logic of a self-centered lifestyle and teach you how to apply his lessons in your own life.

http://img707.imageshack.us/img707/1930/palpatine.jpg

Subjects include:

- 7 Killing lightsaber strokes you must know.

- May I Suggest: A force-user's guide to influencing the weak-minded.

- Dirty politics/Clean conscience

- Things they don't teach you at the Jedi Academy

- Finding an evil apprentice that's right for you

And much, much more. But don't take our word for it - just listen to what some of our former attendees have to say about EYDS...

http://img36.imageshack.us/img36/1706/vaderh.jpg
"You would be wise to attend this seminar." ~ Lord Vader

http://img686.imageshack.us/img686/5861/kenobi.jpg
"This is not the seminar series you're looking for." ~ Ben Kenobi

http://img710.imageshack.us/img710/8002/darthmaul.jpg
"..." ~ Darth Maul

Seating for this event is limited and tickets are sold on a first come - first serve basis. Order today! No refunds.

Anakin/Boba Fett/Clone Wars/Dark Side/Empire/Force/George Lucas/Hyperspace/Jedi/Lucasfilm Ltd./Qui-Gon/Sith/Star Wars/Tatooine/X-wing/Anakin/Boba Fett/Clone Wars/Dark Side/Empire/Force/George Lucas/Hyperspace/Jedi/Lucasfilm Ltd./Qui-Gon/Sith/Star Wars/Tatooine/X-wing/Anakin/Boba Fett/Clone Wars/Dark Side/Empire/Force/George Lucas/Hyperspace/Jedi/Lucasfilm Ltd./Qui-Gon/Sith/Star Wars/Tatooine/X-wing

[donkey]

I'm there.

[phit_demon]

Roberto Orci, Ehren Kruger and Alex Kurtzman attended this, followed by Robert McKee's Story seminar.

That's how they gained the necessary skills to write Transformers 2: Revenge of The Fallen.

[Sharp-O]

Roberto Orci, Ehren Kruger and Alex Kurtzman attended this, followed by Robert McKee's Story seminar.

That's how they gained the necessary skills to write Transformers 2: Revenge of The Fallen.

It's a shame John Rogers didn't return to write it, after his run on Blue Beetle, I have complete faith in him as a story teller.

That said, we all know Simon Furman should have written both Transformers films :p

[TheHangingBrain]

Thanks a million for the continued laughs, Tom. You are like the sexy chick tattoo on this pimpled ass equivalent of a planet we live on. Cheers! :)

[TomHarrington]

Thanks a million for the continued laughs, Tom. You are like the sexy chick tattoo on this pimpled ass equivalent of a planet we live on. Cheers! :)

Thanks, man. I really appreciate the kind words. I spend a good deal of time trying to think of ways to make people here laugh and it's nice to know that I'm scoring hits once in a while. Plus, you, Phitzy, Aaron, JK and a couple of other folks here also remind me of pimply bottoms. So, you know, it's mutual. Cheers!

[TheHangingBrain]

Thanks, man. I really appreciate the kind words. I spend a good deal of time trying to think of ways to make people here laugh and it's nice to know that I'm scoring hits once in a while. Plus, you, Phitzy, Aaron, JK and a couple of other folks here also remind me of pimply bottoms. So, you know, it's mutual. Cheers!

Why thank you, sir! I feel honored to even be mentioned amongst such a distinguished lot of spotty bottoms.

[phit_demon]

Why thank you, sir! I feel honored to even be mentioned amongst such a distinguished lot of spotty bottoms.

I googled both "pimply bottom" and "spotty bottom". The results were surprisingly tame.

[Cuclean]

I googled both "pimply bottom" and "spotty bottom". The results were surprisingly tame.

You should have gone for Crinkley Bottom.

http://www.virginmedia.com/images/mr_blobby-gal-cashins.jpg

[VogonPoet]

http://i.imagehost.org/0145/star-wars-vader-luke-felt-presents.jpg

[TomHarrington]

www.barelylegalamoebas.com

http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/19/amoeba1.jpghttp://img402.imageshack.us/img402/8444/amoeba2.jpg

http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/1981/amoeba3.jpghttp://img251.imageshack.us/img251/8578/amoeba4.jpg

organelles cytoplasm cell membrane phagocytosis pseudopod amoeboids osmotic microbial cyst enzymes mitosis cellular division cell reproduction cytokinesis nuclear pores binary fission barely legal amoebaorganelles cytoplasm cell membrane phagocytosis pseudopod amoeboids osmotic microbial cyst enzymes mitosis cellular division cell reproduction cytokinesis nuclear pores binary fission barely legal amoebaorganelles cytoplasm cell membrane phagocytosis pseudopod amoeboids osmotic microbial cyst enzymes mitosis cellular division cell reproduction cytokinesis nuclear pores binary fission barely legal amoebaorganelles cytoplasm cell membrane phagocytosis pseudopod amoeboids osmotic microbial cyst enzymes mitosis cellular division cell reproduction cytokinesis nuclear pores binary fission barely legal amoebaorganelles cytoplasm cell membrane phagocytosis pseudopod amoeboids osmotic microbial cyst enzymes mitosis cellular division cell reproduction cytokinesis nuclear pores binary fission barely legal

FREE TRIAL! FREE TRIAL! FREE TRIAL! FREE TRIAL! FREE TRIAL! FREE TRIAL! FREE TRIAL! FREE TRIAL! FREE TRIAL!

[TheHangingBrain]

This shit is sooooo hot! I can't quit touching my cytoplasm engorged pseudopod.

[TomHarrington]

This shit is sooooo hot! I can't quit touching my cytoplasm engorged pseudopod.

I hear that! I totally want to replicate myself right now.

[TheHangingBrain]

I hear that! I totally want to replicate myself right now.

F ing A, dog! If I get any more aroused I'm gonna go straight up microbial cyst.

[JasterIsFett]

I think I just filled the cell membrane...

[donkey]

i just grew a pseudopod.

[ZBarclay]

My interstitial fluid is going everywhere!

[TheHangingBrain]

This little string of posts incited by Tom, pure gold. Still getting a smile from it. :D

[phit_demon]

*sigh*


http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h3/phitdemon/Picture8-5.png

[Aaron]

It's that same fucking bot everytime!
I've deleted about 20 of them now! GRrrrrrr

[Antonio_Bay]

*sigh*
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h3/phitdemon/Picture8-5.png

Oh! Oh! Me too!

Aaron, when that Bot signs up, does it always use the same email address?

[Aaron]

Nope, can't register on the same address twice.
But it does use the same profile info so if I'm online I can usually catchy them quickly

[phit_demon]

Oh! Oh! Me too!

Aaron, when that Bot signs up, does it always use the same email address?

We are the chosen ones!


That sounds weird when you say it out loud. Should it be 'chosen two'?

[Antonio_Bay]

That sounds weird when you say it out loud. Should it be 'chosen two'?

I think having two chosen ones takes the gloss off the importance of actually being chosen.

Or we're just, chosen-two-for-ones.

Which makes us sound cheap!

[phit_demon]

Or we're just, chosen-two-for-ones.

Which makes us sound cheap!

I'm ok with that. Anyone can have me for the price of a Burger King meal.

[Antonio_Bay]

Anyone can have me for the price of a Burger King meal.

My price is slightly higher. One Pappa John's pizza. :p

[By-tor]

http://pix.motivatedphotos.com/2008/6/20/633495971428428688-king.jpg

[phit_demon]

My price is slightly higher. One Pappa John's pizza. :p

Duly noted. I'm off to raid my penny jar.

[Antonio_Bay]

Duly noted. I'm off to raid my penny jar.

Do you still have your piggybank? Mine is a Dusty Bin one. I still put all my one/two pences in it.

http://robertweinberg.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/dusty-bin.jpg

[Threadkiller]

We are the chosen ones!


That sounds weird when you say it out loud. Should it be 'chosen two'?
I got one that was addressed to: Me, Sheriff, Jason Brown and Tracker.

(sings) One of these things is not like the other..

[phit_demon]

I got one that was addressed to: Me, Sheriff, Jason Brown and Tracker.

(sings) One of these things is not like the other..

And I'm guessing it's not Sheriff's füsbol playing...

[TomHarrington]

Are you tired of your dull, featureless forehead?

http://img695.imageshack.us/img695/2817/forehead5.jpg

Annoyed by unnatural and ineffective prosthetic forehead accessories?

http://img577.imageshack.us/img577/9617/doctorforehead.png

Are you fed up with Painful, gimmicky and expensive surgeries that never deliver what they promise?

http://img834.imageshack.us/img834/1584/forehead6.jpg

Well now there's Foreheadistend! That's right, Foreheadistend. The patented Foreheadistend System uses compressed air to stretch the muscles, skin and soft tissue of the forehead, forming a pocket of air and creating a bold, captivating new forehead. And with our new patented forming gel the possibilities are endless! Here's how it works:

http://img808.imageshack.us/img808/1738/forehead2.png
Simply puncture the top of the scalp with our patented infusion nozzle and insert as instructed. Foreheadistend does the rest! For just 10 minutes a day you'll have a crowd pleasing figurehead that'll go all night! Cheek Sweetener expansion kit (pictured) sold separately.

But don't take our word for it, just listen to what our customers have to say about the patented Foreheadistend System:

[TomHarrington]

http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/2715/forehead1.jpg

"The patented Foreheadistend Sytem really works! And once I tried the new patented forming gel I was hooked. The possibilites are endless!"

http://img829.imageshack.us/img829/4817/forehead4.jpg

"..."

http://img818.imageshack.us/img818/5483/litigationforehead.jpg

"I'm restrained from discussing the patented Foreheadistend System pending the conclusion of ongoing civil litigation."


Don't wait! Order your patented Foreheadistend System today!
http://img192.imageshack.us/img192/2484/forehead3.jpg