View Full Version : Amsterdamn!!!
Jason Shiffy
05-25-2009, 12:10 AM
Have a question about the city Amsterdam that's not on WikiPedia? Ask me and I'll answer all your questions about this magical city!
Firestone2489
05-25-2009, 12:15 AM
Not to be a dick but this thread is kinda useless.
Jason Shiffy
05-25-2009, 12:21 AM
No it's not. You know why? I can answer all questions about this city and not only big questions like "how many whores are on the red light district?" I can also answer to the little things that are fun to know. Call it ShiffyPedia. Cmon ask a question!
Shäne
05-25-2009, 12:45 AM
I don't recall anyone ever having a question about Amsterdam. Ever.
ozchick
05-25-2009, 02:06 AM
I don't recall anyone ever having a question about Amsterdam. Ever.
Here's one. Exactly how many bicycles are at the bottom of those canals?
Threadkiller
05-25-2009, 02:37 AM
Here's my question: How many bricks are in the north facing wall of the third brick building on the left as you leave the southernost post office in the city? Just seems like this ought to be on wikipedia you know?
Okay, here's my question: what exactly did I do for the fourteen hours I was there back in 1994?
'Cause all I remember was getting off the train and then buying some coffee...
Aaron
05-25-2009, 08:23 AM
Why do you guys have a dam made of Hamsters?
donkey
05-25-2009, 09:01 AM
Is it true you eat cookies off of the sidewalk?
LucVas
05-25-2009, 06:12 PM
If a man in Amsterdam decides to mug you, exactly how far away from you would he be when you would first notice his presence?
Erasmus Cunk
05-25-2009, 09:00 PM
Coke? Coke? Coke? Coke? Pills? Pills? Speed?
DarthMaulRat
05-25-2009, 09:09 PM
How much would you have to pay a prostitute to pass gas on Finnish tourists, then yell "I am Spartacus" and run away?
donkey
05-25-2009, 11:06 PM
How much would you have to pay a prostitute to pass gas on Finnish tourists, then yell "I am Spartacus" and run away?
Even i know that's 15 euro.
Jeremy Beadle
05-26-2009, 09:46 AM
How many dam's, could an Amsterdam, if an Amsterdam could-
-erm.
Okay, answers were promised.
Where are they?
RobinHoodDaffy
05-26-2009, 03:20 PM
Okay, answers were promised.
Where are they?
That fucker IS shifty.
Jason Shiffy
05-28-2009, 08:02 AM
Exactly how many bicycles are at the bottom of those canals?
I think around the 10.000
How many bricks are in the north facing wall of the third brick building on the left as you leave the southernost post office in the city?
You mean on the right.
what exactly did I do for the fourteen hours I was there back in 1994?
If you woke up with a condom up your ass... Nothing... Or everything else.
Why do you guys have a dam made of Hamsters?
Its not Hamsterdam...
How much would you have to pay a prostitute to pass gas on Finnish tourists, then yell "I am Spartacus" and run away?
15 euro...
Aaron
05-28-2009, 09:25 AM
Why do you guys have a dam made of Hamsters?
Its not Hamsterdam...
Maybe it should be...
donkey
05-28-2009, 09:39 AM
Is it true you eat cookies off of the sidewalk?
why didn't my question get answered?
Jason Shiffy
05-28-2009, 10:09 AM
Because I don't wanna talk about that... 1 time and i was drunk , jeez
...
what exactly did I do for the fourteen hours I was there back in 1994?
If you woke up with a condom up your ass... Nothing... Or everything else.
...
Well, I know I never slept while I was there...
Jason Shiffy
05-28-2009, 11:29 AM
Well, I know I never slept while I was there...
You don't need to sleep we'll find a way...
Why in the hell did the Sex Museum not have a live display?
ZBarclay
06-01-2009, 02:24 AM
Why in the hell did the Sex Museum not have a live display?
Oh god. You killed her?
Jason Shiffy
06-01-2009, 02:38 AM
We have booths that display live sex shows for a 2 euro coin :D
ZBarclay
06-01-2009, 02:44 AM
We have booths that display live sex shows for a 2 euro coin :D
We have actual sex, for free.
Aaron
06-01-2009, 03:23 AM
We have actual sex, for free.
Speak for yourself
puggso_32
06-01-2009, 05:45 AM
We have actual sex, for free.
...it is never for free! NEVER!
Jason Shiffy
06-01-2009, 05:53 AM
...it is never for free! NEVER!
Amen.
ZBarclay
06-01-2009, 03:08 PM
...it is never for free! NEVER!
Oh. You, poor bastard.
Lotism
06-01-2009, 03:43 PM
As Dan eloquently put it once, there is a V-Toll.:p
puggso_32
06-01-2009, 04:02 PM
Oh. You, poor bastard.
Poor in the lack of money sense? I'll grant you that? Would explain the lack of poon....seeing as it is never free ;)
We have booths that display live sex shows for a 2 euro coin :D
Yes, but the sex museum should have at least had some sort of "Sex throught the ages!" with costumed characters having cavepeople sex, middle ages sex, victorian n0-sex, hippy 70's sex, etc., etc. (and possibly theories on sex in the future). Maybe with some audience participation? It was 'a' sex museum, but hardly what i would consider 'the' sex museum.
We have actual sex, for free.
Who's we? You and Santa? There is always a V-toll; whether it be financially, mentally, physically, etc. Just a fact of life. Show me one living creature besides pollen spouting plants where the male doesn't have to "do" something to get laid?
...it is never for free! NEVER!
Word!
Jason Shiffy
06-02-2009, 04:32 AM
Yes, but the sex museum should have at least had some sort of "Sex throught the ages!" with costumed characters having cavepeople sex...
Never been in France? :D
Scottbob75
06-02-2009, 06:33 AM
...it is never for free! NEVER!
not even after the first date it is not FREE!
ZBarclay
06-02-2009, 11:42 AM
Show me one living creature besides pollen spouting plants where the male doesn't have to "do" something to get laid?
Look to your left. That guy there...the Borg looking fella? Right above that...there's a name. Oh...that's me. :D
Some people are just fortunate I guess.
What does "laid" mean? ;)
:(
puggso_32
06-02-2009, 12:02 PM
Look to your left. That guy there...the Borg looking fella? Right above that...there's a name. Oh...that's me. :D
Some people are just fortunate I guess.
Still no such thing, you just think it is because you're all engaged and loved up....you will learn some day ;)
Jason Shiffy
06-02-2009, 12:45 PM
Once i snapped my fingers to my now ex-girlfriend and we had sex after that.
But then again, we were both half naked and she asked me to never do that again...
It was cool... Kinda...
ZBarclay
06-02-2009, 12:56 PM
Still no such thing, you just think it is because you're all engaged and loved up....you will learn some day ;)
Which is all just a continuation of my over all fortunateness ;)
joep144
06-02-2009, 04:24 PM
I must agree with Zac.......it is free.
There is a dirty little secrete that women don't want us as guys to know......they enjoy sex too! They just make us think that they're doing us a favor by giving in so we keep slavishly doing stupid shit for them. If you're going to be sweet to your lady or spend money on her, don't do it because you're trying to get into her pants......do it because she deserves it or because you want to, otherwise there's an association that is made whenever you do something nice for her you expect a piece of ass. ;)
By-tor
06-02-2009, 04:56 PM
There is a dirty little secrete that women don't want us as guys to know....You haven't checked out YouPorn lately, have you? :D
ZBarclay
06-02-2009, 07:32 PM
There is a dirty little secrete that women don't want us as guys to know......they enjoy sex too!
What color is it? If it's green, she has an infection. ;)
There is a dirty little secrete that women don't want us as guys to know...
What color is it? If it's green, she has an infection. ;)
Can you put it in a cup?
joep144
06-02-2009, 09:54 PM
You haven't checked out YouPorn lately, have you? :D
That's why I have a windshield wiper on my monitor now. :o
joep144
06-02-2009, 09:59 PM
What color is it? If it's green, she has an infection. ;)
Voice of experience Zac?
Can you put it in a cup?
I suppose if you're into that sort of thing
Look to your left. That guy there...the Borg looking fella? Right above that...there's a name. Oh...that's me. :D
Some people are just fortunate I guess.
Look deep into the mists of your rose fogged undying love for the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with...........somewhere hidden deeply in the fog; is a firm chain latched on to your leg. Example: try and bring a stout glass full of vodka to your lips in front of her. I dare you. The severed stump that reaches your lips is a testimony to the V-toll theory. (and I'm sure it is a trivial cost you will accept for the woman you love)
I must agree with Zac.......it is free.
There is a dirty little secret that women don't want us as guys to know......they enjoy sex too!
Come now sir! The enjoyment and the cost are part and parcel. As obvious as the stereotype that Women enjoy shopping too. (I know I may be wandering into offense territory; the truth does hurt). And to that end my theory, skewed as it is, is that women will govern a toll/cost of some kind. It is fundamental with the psychological aspect of the act. Unless you are into 'pegging'; man is the giver and women are the receivers in 99% of sex acts that end in orgasm (for everyone). A woman is not just going to raise the gate and let everyone drive in. Not even Madonna does that. She probably 'pegged' Vanilla Ice for his V-toll to her cooch.
I have no issues with V-tolls. If I was a woman, I would exact a cost. Probably something along the lines of "Ooooh candy!"
I think it is a universal social/physiological aspect of the sexes and accept each person and their standards required. In some cases; its part of the allure (and their personality).
What my jaded personality can't except is the addage of "love is free." That is utter bullshit. If love was free than it wouldn't hurt when you lost it now would it? Again, it costs: emotionally, physically, financially, etc. That is the measure in which it is earned.
joep144
06-02-2009, 11:26 PM
WOW!.....I feel like I just got bitch slapped. :D
WOW!.....I feel like I just got bitch slapped. :D
Ha! Ha!Ha!
More like a wagging finger! and a firm shifting in my chair.
Possibly a "Haruumpf!"
(somehow, when I read "bitch slapped" I envisioned a ZZtop moment with your avatar picture and some scantily clad woman halfway through the slap motion to your face)
joep144
06-02-2009, 11:35 PM
I know.....I WAS married for almost 8 years. You're not telling me anything I don't already know. ;)
I know.....I WAS married for almost 8 years. You're not telling me anything I don't already know. ;)
Ouch! That is a lot of slapping!
(and not the extra kinky overdrive By-tor "Hit me baby!" slapping) ;)
joep144
06-03-2009, 12:06 AM
You live, you learn. Chalk it up to life experiences and move on...........I got me a good woman now though. :D
Good to hear! My brother remarried a few years back and she's absolutely the perfect match. they are happy through thick and thin; just like the vows.
Here's hoping that your way!
joep144
06-03-2009, 12:48 AM
Thanks man!
mitch_the_conquistador
07-01-2009, 04:37 PM
I have an actual serious question as regards to this thread. I heard recently that in order to partake in the famous cafes now you have to have a Netherlands passport. Is this true? Or have I been the victim of a bad joke? Because I wanna go back and if that's the case I need to get a loan of a relatives passport.
Jason Shiffy
07-01-2009, 04:38 PM
That sir , is bullshit...
mitch_the_conquistador
07-01-2009, 04:46 PM
Aw fuckin sweet! \m/
Jason Shiffy
07-01-2009, 04:57 PM
They did however stopped selling shrooms but if you look into the right place you'll find store that still sells it (McDonalds, Burger King etc)
mitch_the_conquistador
07-01-2009, 04:59 PM
You know what mate. Genuinely! That is a good thing for me! Thanks for the info man. can you really just use someone elses bike, or is that just some fairy tale for the tourists?
Jason Shiffy
07-01-2009, 05:52 PM
You could rent or steal a bike , whatever makes you happy (Yeah its a fairytale)
mitch_the_conquistador
07-01-2009, 05:54 PM
Ha! I knew it! Feckin lying Netherlandians!
Cuclean
07-01-2009, 06:59 PM
What I found funny is how no one pays attention to the new tobacco smoking laws in the coffeeshops. The bowls of the 'herbal mix' are fooling nobody.
When I was in a bar over there the last time, people were on the beer and passing joints with tobacco and weed in them. But I had to go outside for a cigarette. I tells ya!
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