What would you do if...

[BOP TILL U DROP]

Sorry babes. I am so super bored.

1.The President of the United States called you:
2.You won the lottery:
3.You got invited to be on a reality TV show:
4.You caught a friend stealing from you:
5.You witnessed a murder:
6.A random stranger offered you candy:
7.MySpace and Facebook closed:
8.A genie granted you one wish:
9.You lost your favorite possession:
10.You found 10 dollars on the ground:
11.Your date throws up on you:
12.Someone cut off a chunk of your hair:
13.Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you:
14.You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call

[BOP TILL U DROP]

Sorry babes. I am so super bored.

1.The President of the United States called you:
2.You won the lottery:
3.You got invited to be on a reality TV show:
4.You caught a friend stealing from you:
5.You witnessed a murder:
6.A random stranger offered you candy:
7.MySpace and Facebook closed:
8.A genie granted you one wish:
9.You lost your favorite possession:
10.You found 10 dollars on the ground:
11.Your date throws up on you:
12.Someone cut off a chunk of your hair:
13.Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you:
14.You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call
1. Answer the phone.
2. Spend that money.
3. Go.
4. Ask why.
5. Snitches get stitches. Bitches.
6. Say thank you.
7. Get a life.
8. Smoke more of the weed that got me seein a genie.
9. Get another one.
10. Thank God.
11. Wash it off of me, then treat him like a baby.
12. Grow it back.
13. Chill.
14. Call my mommy.

*feel free to use this thread for other gay quizzes or to bash me for making this gay thread*

[By-tor]

Missed you around these parts, Sugar. :)

[BOP TILL U DROP]

Missed you around these parts, Sugar. :)
kisses to you, hot stuff.

[JK]

1.The President of the United States called you:Ask 'em for some peaches. Millions of peaches, peaches for me...
2.You won the lottery: Hire a shrink so as to get my mind used to having money.
3.You got invited to be on a reality TV show: Tell 'em to take a flying fuck right off a tall, tall bridge. Reality TV is the Devil.
4.You caught a friend stealing from you: They'd know what I would do, ergo, they wouldn't steal from me...
5.You witnessed a murder: Become judge, jury, and executioner
6.A random stranger offered you candy: Make them eat a piece first
7.MySpace and Facebook closed: Create FaceSpace
8.A genie granted you one wish: Wish for a better genie
9.You lost your favorite possession: Search for it until I found it
10.You found 10 dollars on the ground: Put it in my pocket
11.Your date throws up on you: Wipe it off.
12.Someone cut off a chunk of your hair: Shave their head.
13.Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you: Kill him again since he's been dead for a loooooong time. Fucking zombies...
14.You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call: Order a pizza and then bum a ride home.

[BOP TILL U DROP]

...
14.You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call: Order a pizza and then bum a ride home.

This is why I missed this place...

[dtcb]

Hope this removes some of the boredom.


1.The President of the United States called you:
"No, I will not share hookers and blow with you! Stop calling! Click!"

2.You won the lottery:
At least one thing I can mention (most I cannot) is I would pay for and advertisement picturing my ass with the words, "The following people can kiss right here...." written in gold leaf on it. I'm hoping the list is not too long or this might backfire on me.

3.You got invited to be on a reality TV show:
I'd nail the invitation to the person who sent it, light it on fire, then piss on it to put it out.

4.You caught a friend stealing from you:
Missing you say? When did he disappear? How very strange. I'll be sure to look everywhere for him.......everywhere but in 12 burlap bags weighed down and thrown into the ocean along a major outbound current. Well that or the Johnsonville Sausage factory....

5.You witnessed a murder:
I think JK has it right. Save the taxpayers money. "They're coming right for us!" followed by immediate termination of some kind; be it bareknuckle, semiautomatic or 4 wheel drive.

6.A random stranger offered you candy:
Hey, that's my job! (see question 5 for eliminating the competition)

7.MySpace and Facebook closed:
I have neither.....(see questions 5 and 6 and possibly the witness relocation program)

8.A genie granted you one wish:
The ability to get what I want by requesting it three times out loud. For a second or two I'd look stupid; then it would be the whole Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders standing naked around me who would look stupid! Har! (thirdly; lawn chairs, a case of beer, and some friends (I'd default invite By-tor) to enjoy watching the DCC's run for cover.
Repeat.

9.You lost your favorite possession:
I don't have a favorite possession. I've moved around alot. Sorry. Wait.....maybe my liqour cabinet. Yeah, if somehow "lost" my liquor cabinet, I'd scream loud enough to interupt the entertainment service on a flight. But, then I'd be faced with the joy of 'shopping for booze' to replace it.

10.You found 10 dollars on the ground:
Doubled vodka club soda.

11.Your date throws up on you:
I throw up on my date! We have barf sex.....

12.Someone cut off a chunk of your hair:
I have co-ordinated revenge as far out as a year. Waking up with a turd across your face 6 months down the line and not knowing why.......all in a days work.

13.Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you:
BBQ with or without friends depending on that celebrity's preference. And none of this hotdog and hamburger bullshit. Proper awesome BBQ. And no, counter to what you folks might believe, there would not be a "celebrity rape kit" waiting in the wings.

14.You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call:
Call Bytor. Tell him I'll pay for the, food, fuel and beer if he takes that boat house I've seen him with out for a spin and picks me up! (see if he can pick up the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders from question 8 to come along for the ride)

[puggso_32]

1.The President of the United States called you: Not believe it is him and hang up
2.You won the lottery: Get a nice big house and invest it well so I can live off the income it would provide
3.You got invited to be on a reality TV show: Consider it
4.You caught a friend stealing from you: They wouldn't be my friend anymore
5.You witnessed a murder: Go to the police, be a witness and get the person done for it
6.A random stranger offered you candy: If they are hot then yes!
7.MySpace and Facebook closed: I'd still have bebo :)
8.A genie granted you one wish: 1 million wishes please
9.You lost your favorite possession: Do my utmost to replace it with something simliar
10.You found 10 dollars on the ground: Keep it, ying and yang I have lost plenty of money in the past
11.Your date throws up on you: Tell her she shouldn't have went for the deep throat
12.Someone cut off a chunk of your hair: There isn't much to cut so would be lucky if it happened
13.Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you: Kari Byron? I'd get her drunk then do things to her...weird stuff...butt stuff!
14.You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call "Hello coastbguard, yes I'm stuck on this desert Island. You should be able to locate my coordinates from the phone call. Now pass onto my family and friends that I love them dearly and will be back as soon as you lovely fellows come get me. Thanks"

[BOP TILL U DROP]

...
11.Your date throws up on you: Tell her she shouldn't have went for the deep throat
...

AAAAAAAHHHHH you asshole! HAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAH hahahah. That's the funniest thing I've read in months.

[Miguel Sanchez]

1.The President of the United States called you: Probably ask why he's calling, before insisting he's Rory Bremner/John Culshaw/The Fonejacker
2.You won the lottery: Go to australia for ages.
3.You got invited to be on a reality TV show: Depends on what show. I wanna be on hell's kitchen.
4.You caught a friend stealing from you: Take my shit back before flying off the handle.
5.You witnessed a murder: Run away like the Pussy I am
6.A random stranger offered you candy: Take it. I love sweets.
7.MySpace and Facebook closed: Stop using myspace?
8.A genie granted you one wish: I'd ask for an obscene amount of money.
9.You lost your favorite possession: I already have. Some scumfuck nicked my Bike.
10.You found 10 dollars on the ground: Probably put it in my wallet and never get it changed. It's only a fiver, really.
11.Your date throws up on you: Probably try to laugh it off then lambast them in the coming months.
12.Someone cut off a chunk of your hair: Punch them with all my might. I fucking love my hair.
13.Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you: Steve Buscemi? I'd just talk to him. He has the best voice ever.
14.You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call: Assuming I can't somehow get someone to come rescue me? Call my ladyfriend and tell her to pass messages on.

[JK]

This is why I missed this place...

And we missed you.

[By-tor]

1.The President of the United States called you: Masterbate
2.You won the lottery: Masterbate
3.You got invited to be on a reality TV show: Masterbate
4.You caught a friend stealing from you: Kill the motherfucker
5.You witnessed a murder: Masterbate
6.A random stranger offered you candy: Masterbate
7.MySpace and Facebook closed: Masterbate
8.A genie granted you one wish: Masterbate
9.You lost your favorite possession: Masterbate
10.You found 10 dollars on the ground: Masterbate
11.Your date throws up on you: Masterbate
12.Someone cut off a chunk of your hair: Kill the motherfucker
13.Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you: Masterbate
14.You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call: Masterbate

[Erasmus Cunk]

1.The President of the United States called you: Make farmyard animal noises down the phone at him till he hangs up.
2.You won the lottery: Quit my job, then continue to live in filth and squalor, safe in the knowledge that I can change it whenever I want.
3.You got invited to be on a reality TV show: Tell them to eff the eff off.
4.You caught a friend stealing from you: Say "Dude, I won the lottery. If you wanted some cash, you only needed to ask." Then bitch-slap them.
5.You witnessed a murder: Join in, or keep my mouth shut, or tell the police depending on who was doing/receiving the murder.
6.A random stranger offered you candy: Eat the candy then go home with the stranger and have sex with them.
7.MySpace and Facebook closed: This would not affect me.
8.A genie granted you one wish: A couple more inches...
9.You lost your favorite possession: Well, I don't know what fucked up sequence of events could end up with me losing my dick, but I'd buy a new one on the black market.
10.You found 10 dollars on the ground: Keep it.
11.Your date throws up on you: Clean myself up, and when she's all apologetic and remorseful, calm her down by saying "it's okay, accidents happen, not your fault" etc. Then puke on her.
12.Someone cut off a chunk of your hair: Laugh and act cool about it, then offer them a (drugged) cup of tea. When they're unconscious, shave and wax all their hair. Head, body, everything. Make them completely smooth.
13.Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you: See number 12.
14.You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call: Call ABC and say "I've got this great idea for a show..."

[BOP TILL U DROP]

...
13.Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you: Steve Buscemi? I'd just talk to him. He has the best voice ever.

You know how I know you're gay?

[Antonio_Bay]

Masterbate...masturbate...masturbate...masturbate. ..masturbate...masturbate...masturbate...masturbat e...masturbate...masturbate...

Best answers yet. I giggled. Thank you.

[By-tor]

Best answers yet. I giggled. Thank you.
*masterbates*
Yourrrrre wellll---elllll---coooome. Ahhhhhh. :D

[JK]

*masterbates*
Yourrrrre wellll---elllll---coooome. Ahhhhhh. :D

Would this help?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/00786/eva-mendes-460b_786027c.jpg

(217 :D )

[By-tor]

Like I need any help. :D But, it does make the process move along a bit quicker. ;)

[BOP TILL U DROP]

*masterbates*
Yourrrrre wellll---elllll---coooome. Ahhhhhh. :D
masterbate.

[DarthMaulRat]

1.The President of the United States called you:
I'd ask him if he wants to go in for a pizza
2.You won the lottery:
Quickstop get-together baby. You'd all get flights to the boring as fuck state of Pennsylvania.
3.You got invited to be on a reality TV show:
I'd use that temporary celebrity leverage to make Carmen Electra my friend.
4.You caught a friend stealing from you:
I'd be like, "How could you, Carmen!?", but then I'd forgive her and we'd start fucking like animals.
5.You witnessed a murder:
I'd stop it in time. I'm like super fast. Seriously.
6.A random stranger offered you candy:
See answer to number 4.
7.MySpace and Facebook closed:
I'd have to go back to stalking the old fashioned way: Binoculars and a jar of Vaseline.
8.A genie granted you one wish:
That genie would be pissed because my wish was for him to watch "2G1C" for the next 37 years.
9.You lost your favorite possession:
I'd be relieved that I finally had a reason to buy a new inflatable Golden Girl.
10.You found 10 dollars on the ground:
I'd masturbate... as soon as Bytor gets out of the bathroom anyway...
11.Your date throws up on you:
In Pennsylvania, that's what we call a keeper!
12.Someone cut off a chunk of your hair:
Its about time I go bald... I'm tired of looking for a comb every morning.
13.Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you:
See number 4 (again).
14.You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call
I'd make damn sure that my story of being "Lost" on an island didn't turn into an open ended tale that got stale by the third season.

[donkey]

1.The President of the United States called you: say no thanks
2.You won the lottery:relax
3.You got invited to be on a reality TV show:say no thanks
4.You caught a friend stealing from you:end of friendship
5.You witnessed a murder:call the cops
6.A random stranger offered you candy:say thanks and throw it away
7.MySpace and Facebook closed:not on either
8.A genie granted you one wish:I'd take money so I dont' ahve to work
9.You lost your favorite possession:go get another
10.You found 10 dollars on the ground:buy a donut
11.Your date throws up on you:wipe
12.Someone cut off a chunk of your hair:let it grow back
13.Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you:poop my pants
14.You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone calllet people knwo where i am

[Lotism]

1.The President of the United States called you:
Tell him not to misunderestimate the situation.
2.You won the lottery:
Buy a mansion, a yacht, relax for the rest of my days vacationing all the beautiful places in the world. Spend some of the money the way Bruce Wayne does.
3.You got invited to be on a reality TV show:
That's a negative
4.You caught a friend stealing from you:
It would probably have to end.
5.You witnessed a murder:
Depends.
6.A random stranger offered you candy:
Ask him who he thought I was?
7.MySpace and Facebook closed:
I don't care for myspace and facebook has changed:( I'd probably be a little more bored. Or create my own facebook with all the money I have.
8.A genie granted you one wish:
Give me the ability to fly.
9.You lost your favorite possession:
Material things don't really matter to me. With all the money I'd buy a new one anyway.
10.You found 10 dollars on the ground:
Buy a pack of stoges or a Chipotle burrito if I already had some.
11.Your date throws up on you:
If it's because of drinking that would probably be the last time I'd see her.
12.Someone cut off a chunk of your hair:
There would be a problem. But I'd just wait for it to grow back.
13.Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you:
Don't have one. Probably just have a conversation.
14.You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call
Call Les Stroud and ask for advice on how to survive. I'd also ask him to call authorities so they can send help. His tips in the meantime would keep me alive.

[Antonio_Bay]

1.The President of the United States called you:

I'd ask Harrison if he thought Oldman was going to win on board Air Force One.

2.You won the lottery:

Help friends and family, then buy a boat and become a sea hermit.

3.You got invited to be on a reality TV show:

I'd decline.

4.You caught a friend stealing from you:

I'd un-friend him/her.

5.You witnessed a murder:

Depends who was murdered. I have a few family members I'd be happy to see the back of. Probably help conceal the crime...

:p

6.A random stranger offered you candy:

Politely decline.

7.MySpace and Facebook closed:

Wouldn't really affect me. I prefer to chat properly to my friends.

8.A genie granted you one wish:

I'd call my union. Just one? I thought the norm was three wishes?

9.You lost your favorite possession:

I'd hang out with Morn and mourn its loss.
http://www.dcs.gla.ac.uk/~hwloidl/ST/morn-1.gif

10.You found 10 dollars on the ground:

I'd curse my luck I found a useless dollar note in England.

11.Your date throws up on you:

I wouldn't mind. I'm just grateful she went out with me...

12.Someone cut off a chunk of your hair:

Balding scalp makes me more immune from this situation.

13.Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you:

Pretend I'm not in. It's nearly 4pm, time for Deal or No Deal.

14.You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call

I'd phone my answering machine. Someone's got to check it, right?

[DarthMaulRat]

What would you do if I sang out of tune?

[ZBarclay]

[B]10.You found 10 dollars on the ground:
I'd curse my luck I found a useless dollar note in England.

http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f362/alop133/70show_kelso.jpg
Burn. Too soon. Too soon!

[Critical_Lemon]

1.The President of the United States called you: Ask him to say 'Nuclear'.
2.You won the lottery: Recording studio so I can make jingles like Homer Simpson.
3.You got invited to be on a reality TV show: Laugh. Pretend I'd stopped then laugh again.
4.You caught a friend stealing from you: They'd totally be out of my top friends on all the social networking sites.
5.You witnessed a murder: Get out my rifle and claim self-defence.
6.A random stranger offered you candy: Also get in his car so we can give me 'ice cream' as well.
7.MySpace and Facebook closed: Feel sorry for all those poor people without lives.
8.A genie granted you one wish: My own QSE podcast.
9.You lost your favorite possession: Employ the A-Team to find it.
10.You found 10 dollars on the ground: Give it to my church.
11.Your date throws up on you: Get her to help clean me up because I am a hopeless male. It would be good for bonding, many long marriages start like this.
12.Someone cut off a chunk of your hair: Scream until I go blue and scare the hell out of them in the process. Then be like 'actually this is kind of cool.'
13.Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you: Hang out and talk about their work.
14.You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call: Call a priest! Call a vicar! I'm too pretty to die!

[Aaron]

1.The President of the United States called you:
Tell him to give me citizenship or I send over Bono again

2.You won the lottery:
Buy all the film equipment I need but first make a stop at my local comic book store and then give whats left over to my parents.

3.You got invited to be on a reality TV show:
Depends on the show. I would do a decent amount of the less degrading ones. I wouldnt do a dating show or anything that would make me eat donkey testicles.

4.You caught a friend stealing from you:
Stop being friends unless they have a REALLY good reason like they owe money to the mob or something. Then I'd get some buddies and a black van with a red stripe and shoot at a lot of people but never kill one.

5.You witnessed a murder:
See above.

6.A random stranger offered you candy:
See above

7.MySpace and Facebook closed:
Stay on Bebo. Remember folks it's not just A or B... there's always C.

8.A genie granted you one wish:
Antonio Bay would suddenly lose his clothes and arrive in my living room.

9.You lost your favorite possession:
You can't lose a Blake Rawlings.

10.You found 10 dollars on the ground:
Go to the bank, change it to euros and use the remaining pennies to pay my electricity bill. It's CRAZY this month.

11.Your date throws up on you:
Stop pushing her head down on it

12.Someone cut off a chunk of your hair:
Charge them 20 bucks and sign it.

13.Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you:
How could I visit myself?

14.You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call
Anyone have Anna Paquins phone number?

[Antonio_Bay]

8.A genie granted you one wish:
Antonio Bay would suddenly lose his clothes and arrive in my living room.

HA!

(You don't need a genie for this to happen...)

:eek:

[Aaron]

*bamf*
http://img224.imageshack.us/img224/3544/picard9nk.png

[mitch_the_conquistador]

1.The President of the United States called you: Inform him of the best way to use his retirement time
2.You won the lottery: Buy a few flats and houses around the world, and frequent them, and give money to the auld yins
3.You got invited to be on a reality TV show: I'd go on it. Cos you never know I might win something, and up until this point I have only ever won a karaoke comp in my life. Right enough I was the first runner up in the egg and spoon race when I was six. But that's still losing isn't it. Damn!
4.You caught a friend stealing from you: Take them to rehab!
5.You witnessed a murder: Don my cape and cowl!
6.A random stranger offered you candy: Ask for more. You don't ask you don't get.
7.MySpace and Facebook closed: Write to my local politician to try and get the government to publically fund them :rolleyes:
8.A genie granted you one wish: I think I would ask for happiness :o
9.You lost your favorite possession: Cry for approximately 36.2564 years and then kill myself, and then buy a new one.
10.You found 10 dollars on the ground: I'd do one of those Charlie Chaplin jumping heel clicks.
11.Your date throws up on you: See answer 9.
12.Someone cut off a chunk of your hair: KILL!KILL!KILL!
13.Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you: Crack open the 15 yr old Glen Morangie!
14.You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call: I don't like using the phone. Plus I wouldn't want to bother anyone. So I'd probably just sit there.

[BOP TILL U DROP]

I really don't remember making this thread. Anyway... here's another cute little survey.


How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop?
What about a Blow Pop?
What's better, white rice or jazmine rice?
Did you go to college? ( or are you going)
Why or why not?
Did you get a new shirt today?
Why or why not?
Do you love me?
Do you think I love you?
Are you still bored?


1. Ask Mr. Owl.
2. How about I blow your pop? Wait a tic...
3. I prefer yellow rice.
4. Yes, I went to college.
5. I wanted a job in television.
6. No new shirt.
7. I just got a new shirt on Sunday.
8. I really love you.
9. You'd better love me!
10. Who could be board after surveying themselves?

[Discomfort]

1-I would talk to him

2-I would buy a farm

3-My fiance and I were invited....to try out, we did and got cut in the last round just before casting weekend. So I would do it for the experience and I would love to fuck with the producers

4-I would have a serious talk with them and tell them if they need something that bad to just ask, we are friends and I will help you out

5-Depending on who was being murdered I would either turn the person in or give them kudos

6-I would take it, thank them, then throw it away

7-Nothing, I have neither of them

8-Easy, wish for more wishes

9-Possessions are just things, I can live with out them

10-Put it in our wedding fund

11-I would wash my clothes and take a shower

12-I would ask why they wanted a chunk of my hair then get my hair cut to compensate for the missing chunk.....or would I leave it to have proof of the story?

13-I would make him dinner and have him autograph my record collection of his band

14-I would toss my phone in the ocean and live there, no I would take it apart and use the pieces some how in my survival

[Jason Shiffy]

1.The President of the United States called you: Talk to him?
2.You won the lottery: Celebrate
3.You got invited to be on a reality TV show: Depends what show...
4.You caught a friend stealing from you: Discuss it
5.You witnessed a murder: Panic and call the cops
6.A random stranger offered you candy: Suck his dick... Thats the procedure right?
7.MySpace and Facebook closed: I dont care about YourSpace
8.A genie granted you one wish: Wish for a lot of money
9.You lost your favorite possession: Be bummed for a week
10.You found 10 dollars on the ground: Be bummed for a week
11.Your date throws up on you: Be bummed for a week
12.Someone cut off a chunk of your hair: KICK HIS FUCKING ASS
13.Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you: Shed a tear
14.You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call: Order a pizza :)

[menlikegods]

1.The President of the United States called you: Tell him to stop wasting time calling people who have no interest in talking to him.
2.You won the lottery: Go back to college this year instead of having to wait another whole year.
3.You got invited to be on a reality TV show: I would go on it and dominate.
4.You caught a friend stealing from you: It's happened before, and I guilt tripped him into giving everything back and more
5.You witnessed a murder: Fucking run.
6.A random stranger offered you candy: Tell them I'm not into candy.
7.MySpace and Facebook closed: Would take up video games. Need something to waste time with.
8.A genie granted you one wish: I would wish to be Spider-Man
9.You lost your favorite possession: Suck a lot of dick until I could afford buying myself a new one.
10.You found 10 dollars on the ground: Get myself some crack.
11.Your date throws up on you: Give her a mentos. Nobody likes puke-breath.
12.Someone cut off a chunk of your hair: Nothing.
13.Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you: I would probably suck his cock for a long time.
14.You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call: Start looking for food and shelter, talking on the phone wouldn't help me survive.

[Jason Shiffy]

Like if you're on an island, you dont know where you are and shit so why bother... Or are they going to track a signal?

[Sharp-O]

1.The President of the United States called you: Shout "GO 'BAMA!" down the phone at him and ask if we can get Bill back in the Oval Office
2.You won the lottery: Pimp my slide, yo!
3.You got invited to be on a reality TV show:Point out everyone's stereotypes and mock them for it, trying to creat Big Brotehrs first onscreen death. By my hands.
4.You caught a friend stealing from you:Punch him. Then ask why.
5.You witnessed a murder:JUSTIIIIIIIICE!!!
6.A random stranger offered you candy:Take it, strangers have the best candy!
7.MySpace and Facebook closed:Laugh as a lot of my friends and family go insane
8.A genie granted you one wish: I'd ask to own my own comic book shop
9.You lost your favorite possession:Be really bummed out then go look for another
10.You found 10 dollars on the ground:Go and exchange it for the 3p it'll be worth
11.Your date throws up on you:Ask why, THEN punch
12.Someone cut off a chunk of your hair:Punch him. Then ask why.
13.Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you:Punch him. Then ask why.
14.You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call: I'd phone a big ass order from Dominoes. If it's not there in half hour, I get it free

[menlikegods]

Like if you're on an island, you dont know where you are and shit so why bother... Or are they going to track a signal?

I doubt you'd even get a signal on an island.

http://venturebeat.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/can-you-hear-me-now-767972.jpg

[joep144]

1.The President of the United States called you: Masterbate
2.You won the lottery: Masterbate
3.You got invited to be on a reality TV show: Masterbate
4.You caught a friend stealing from you: Kill the motherfucker
5.You witnessed a murder: Masterbate
6.A random stranger offered you candy: Masterbate
7.MySpace and Facebook closed: Masterbate
8.A genie granted you one wish: Masterbate
9.You lost your favorite possession: Masterbate
10.You found 10 dollars on the ground: Masterbate
11.Your date throws up on you: Masterbate
12.Someone cut off a chunk of your hair: Kill the motherfucker
13.Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you: Masterbate
14.You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call: Masterbate

Wow, maybe I should have put a towel and some handy wipes in the Dragon Con Care package..........or at least some hand sanitizer (the kind you can't use to jerk off with). ;)

[joep144]

1.The President of the United States called you: Tell him to quite fucking over our country's future.
2.You won the lottery: line up $10,000 tax free gifts for my immediate family members, buy all the farm land that I could around my home town, Throw a party and fly everyone in that wished to attend.
3.You got invited to be on a reality TV show: Tell them to fuck off, I just won the lottery.
4.You caught a friend stealing from you: No true friend of mine would ever steal from me, because if they were in that great of need they know all they would have to do is ask and I would gladly help them out.......but if they did steal from me I'd shoot them.
5.You witnessed a murder: I'd shoot the fucker and tell the cops that I feared that I would be next.
6.A random stranger offered you Candy:Every Candy that I've ever known preformed fellatio like a champ, so I'd probably direct them Weller's way.
7.MySpace and Facebook closed: Post on QSE a hell of a lot more.
8.A genie granted you one wish: I like "The Complete Bastard's" answer on this one........only I'd have to say everything 7 times to prevent accidental wishes.
9.You lost your favorite possession:Call the insurance company.....full coverage baby.
10.You found 10 dollars on the ground:Wash my Jeep
11.Your date throws up on you:Clean both of us up and we'd go home for the night.
12.Someone cut off a chunk of your hair:They'd have to use a clippers since my hair is so short, but they'd probably be staring down the barrel of my .40 if they came at me Jack Ass style.
13.Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you:Offer him a cigar and ask how his recent golf vacation went.
14.You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call: Call Molly and tell her I love her and to send help.

[Jason Shiffy]

1.The President of the United States called you: Masterbate
2.You won the lottery: Masterbate
3.You got invited to be on a reality TV show: Masterbate
4.You caught a friend stealing from you: Kill the motherfucker
5.You witnessed a murder: Masterbate
6.A random stranger offered you candy: Masterbate
7.MySpace and Facebook closed: Masterbate
8.A genie granted you one wish: Masterbate
9.You lost your favorite possession: Masterbate
10.You found 10 dollars on the ground: Masterbate
11.Your date throws up on you: Masterbate
12.Someone cut off a chunk of your hair: Kill the motherfucker
13.Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you: Masterbate
14.You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call: Masterbate

Don't you ever like... Dry up? xD

[Scottbob75]

Don't you ever like... Dry up? xD

by-tor has the the balls of Odin!
http://images.google.com/url?source=imgres&ct=img&q=http://deusexeverriculum.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/odin-and-puppies.jpg&usg=AFQjCNGvA-BED7J9wiaWPdmkJTwoibh8CQ