Insults

[DePoy]

OK, my other attempts at b.s.ing have yielded little. *Fingers crossed*

What is/are your favorite insult(s)?

I'm drunk (as usual) so this is the best I can remember off of the top of my head...

"Meeting you makes me wish there were more crazy bitches who let their newborn babies die in trash cans."

[puggso_32]

Best one I have ever said when drunk went as follows;

"Yir maw takes it up the brown bendy corner"

Brown bendy corner being a phrase I had never heard until I uttered that line

[Miguel Sanchez]

"You are chronically ugly"
May just be my favourite ever.

There was a point where the phrase "You're gay for Ollie" feautured rather highly on the insult bill amongst my friends.

[Antonio_Bay]

The biggest insult to me, personally?

'You're just like your father.'

[Cuclean]

So's your face.

[dtcb]

The biggest insult to me, personally?

'You're just like your father.'

You kill me sir!:D


On occassion I've been known to say:
"God wrecked a perfect asshole when he gave you teeth."

"You are as usefull as a barrel of smashed assholes."

(this one requires excited sarcasm) "You're so special, I think I'm going to need something to remind me of you when I get home. I know; I'll shave my cat's ass and balls and teach him to walk backwards!"

and the reflexive: "You Fuck-tard! Die before you breed!"

I'm in the bad habit of calling people 'tards, mongoloids, troglodytes or mental midgets alot. This will probably bite me on the ass when someone who is actually mentally handicapped (or a relative thereof) is within earshot. I'm sure at this point, I will have achieved employee of the month in hell. There has been a few close calls. Some evil component of my personality thinks retarded people are hilarious. I use to cry laughing when a lady with down syndrome use to sing at my church. When we got home, I'd call my brother, "Johnny Mongoloid" and sang with my tongue sticking out: "Aaahhmbalicing Glaays, phow speet dah slound!"

[DePoy]

That's awesome. Have you seen The Ringer and Stuck on You?

I've actually had it backfire, but not really. I once worked with a guy who was a real dick, and he finally pissed me off enough that, right in front of 2 managers, I looked at him and totally straight-faced and in a monotone said, "Wow, I think you really might be mentally retarded." They thought he was a prick too, so they laughed...and later told me that he was actually borderline retarded. He was such an ass, though, that they didn't care that I said it to him.

[dtcb]

That's awesome. Have you seen The Ringer and Stuck on You?


Have not seen these movies. I should have seen Stuck on You by now though as it was filmed around Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket and I grew up visiting these places a bit.

[JK]

I learned a lot of insults whilst serving in the Navy. Most of them I can't even repeat here. But I'll drop a few choice ones from boot camp...

"Goddamn son, you're a walking abortion."

"You shoulda been a stain on the backseat of your daddy's car."

"Texas? Only two things come from Texas... faggots and queers."

"Jeezus Wept... my dog lays turds that look better than you."



Good ol' Chief Dullam. Wonder what that bastard's doing now...

[Aaron]

Goddamn son, you're a walking abortion
Two posts today and both have contained the word abortion.
Very odd.

I dare you to keep it up and have it in every post for the rest of the day.
That could be some tricky wording.

[puggso_32]

Two posts today and both have contained the word abortion.
Very odd.

I dare you to keep it up and have it in every post for the rest of the day.
That could be some tricky wording.

Well...what if he doesn't post anymore?

[donkey]

I usually just tell people that they are a waste of human life.

[DePoy]

My friend once told a girl at a bar, "Just drive your drunk ass home. Have another shot first; I really want you to crash and fucking die."

Of course, his usual (for guys and gals) is, "Why do you always come here and annoy people that you know don't like you?"...or any number of variations thereupon. I can't remember any others right now but he's always had a lot of zingers.

[dtcb]

"If you were hot, my dick would be hard."

or

Cunt.........

Yes, I've been outside of the US long enough to utilize the 'C' word. No, it doesn't happen often......you 'tard. It requires an amazing amount of bad on a lady's part to bring it out. At least for me. UK/Australians use it all the time. Even the ladies. Last time I had to utilize the "cunt", a bouncer was wrenching a drunk ex-wife off of my friend as she was spewing insults, clawing skin off of his face, and wearing a party hat (happy birthday to me!). "Get that crazy cross-eyed cunt out of here!" good times.....good times.

[Antonio_Bay]

or

C**t.........

See, I even had to change it in your quote. Such a nasty word to use!

[dtcb]

See, I even had to change it in your quote. Such a nasty word to use!

My apologies!

The word was impossible until I came to hong kong and started hangin out with a few unsavory characters (british bankers and accountants). But, for some reason the word "fanny" for them is right out. ;)

[Antonio_Bay]

My apologies!

Ha, no need to apologise! I just... disagree with the word. (And it sometimes ruins both C. Fever and Misinformation...:eek: :p )

[ZBarclay]

Ha, no need to apologise! I just... disagree with the word. (And it sometimes ruins both C. Fever and Misinformation...:eek: :p )
If that is the only thing that ruins either one of those shows, it has been a good day. :D

And back to topic...
I had an ex-girlfriend who was wearing a shirt with a bunch of writing on it. I was reading the writing and she says to me, "Stop looking at my boobs."
My response, "I'm not looking at them, I'm looking for them honey."

[Miguel Sanchez]

No word in the english language can be said with more venom than the word Cunt.
It's a beautiful word.

[phit_demon]

No word in the english language can be said with more venom than the word Cunt.
It's a beautiful word.
Agreed. I think it's my all-time favourite word.

[Miguel Sanchez]

It's a toss up between Cunt and Philanderer for me.
I've never understood why that word puts so many people's noses out of joint though.

[JK]

I saw a cunt today... daffy bitch made a left-hand turn right in front of me. I swear to God and everything that is Holy, I could put on a neon green chicken suit with flames shooting out the eyes and still, the minute I throw a leg over the motorcycle, I become comepletely fucking invisible.

I should followed the cunt into the parking lot and crammed her cell phone right up her pooter.

Cunt cunt cunty cunt.

[Miguel Sanchez]

I always have the same problem when i'm on my bike!
However, i'm no way near as cool 'cause I ride a bicycle :)

What a pack of Cunts.

[DePoy]

No word in the english language can be said with more venom than the word Cunt.
It's a beautiful word.

Lately, I've rather enjoyed "fuckbucket", a delightfully fresh take on the classic "cumdumpster".

[Miguel Sanchez]

Spunkbubble's always held a close place in my heart.

[JK]

Spunkbubble's always held a close place in my heart.

Felcher is a term I throw around sometimes...


Not many people know what it means. :cool:

[ZBarclay]

Felcher is a term I throw around sometimes...


Not many people know what it means. :cool:
Gerbils are cheap.

[Shäne]

I still love the classic, DUMBASS!

[Cuclean]

"The best part of you dribbled down your dad's leg"

[dtcb]

Felcher is a term I throw around sometimes...


same for me.....
Occassionally: "You Felching Trunch Butt!".....when they go beyond felcher.

I have no idea why but, calling someone "Cletus!" to me works as an insult.

example: "Hey Cletus, get back on the short bus! You felching trunch butt!" or "Duuurrrr Cletus?!"

Cletus is a cursed name.

[dtcb]

Cock holster.......