Chicks Dig Smart Sad Sacks like Brian

[Posture]

I was so glad when Kevin posed the "do you think chicks will dig Brian more after our online psycho-analyta-cast of his pharmaceutical quest to love himself" question. Because I had been listening, and recognizing this very thing before he put that out there. I am a chick ... (or woman, as we tend to call ourselves - though calling myself a chick is an inherently unnatural act, is seems natural after covering myself in smod all day) ... and I was kind of uncomfortably aware of how into the conversation I was getting in a "aww duckie, let me find some bactine" sort of way. Ah hahaha. Where's the emoticon for sheepish laughter?

Work's been slow, and I've been attacking the smodcast archives while picking my nose and making paper flowers to tape to my office walls. A couple of observations:

1. I'm funnier. My office mates find the things I say funnier for about an hour or two after I've listened to a cast. After that, I slowly regress back to my regular lameness.

2. Potty mouth. My friends have reacted with shocked silence at something that has flown out of my air-hole more than once in the last week or so since I've been listening.

[Czaple]

I was so glad when Kevin posed the "do you think chicks will dig Brian more after our online psycho-analyta-cast of his pharmaceutical quest to love himself" question. Because I had been listening, and recognizing this very thing before he put that out there.

Here I was under the impression that chicks dig jerks and that I had misreable success with the ladies because I was a sad sack. Shit... I was just starting to get comfortable with my deficiences, but now it appears as if I'm going to have to reevaluate myself.

[Posture]

Well, I don't presume to speak for the other ladies out there, especially since half of my sistahs seem to think that we're doing something wrong if we can't sprint in a pair of Manolo Blahniks or that we're supposed to learn how to pole dance in our spare time, and I spend a lot of time wondering where the f*cking empowerment movement went off track ....

But yeah, its a conundrum. And I don't think its limited to just women. I think the trick is to somehow acknowledge you're a sad sack while exhibiting all the characteristics of a really confident person with a lot to offer the world. Makes little sense, but keeps my therapist in loafers.

[Aaron]

I spend a lot of time wondering where the f*cking empowerment movement went off track ....
It went off track because you won. Equal rights are here.
Then the Spice Girls happened and all hell broke loose...

[Affleckie]

Great, now there's something wrong with pole dancing.

[Czaple]

I think the trick is to somehow acknowledge you're a sad sack while exhibiting all the characteristics of a really confident person with a lot to offer the world.

A sad sack who gives the impression that they have something to offer the world in a manner that exudes confidence. Wait, isn't that a jerk?

[marksiwel]

girls are stupid, agreed. Now let us drink Wine and Do a dance to honor our penis!

[Czaple]

girls are stupid, agreed. Now let us drink Wine and Do a dance to honor our penis!

I've honored my penis twice today already. I'm tired and may need a nap before I honor it again.

[By-tor]

In the honor of your penis, I will honor my penis. Thank you.

[JK]

In the honor of your penis, I will honor my penis. Thank you.

http://scans.sicknote.org.uk/pictures/neve_campbell/neve_campbell_fhm_06/neve_campbell_fhm_06.jpg

In honor of...

[By-tor]

If you don't like freckles, you just might be gay.

[phit_demon]

girls are stupid
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h3/phitdemon/c15.jpg

"Women are things."

[BlakefromTexas]

What the fuck is going on here?

[dtcb]

What the fuck is going on here?

I don't know but, I think I'm going to honor my penis......you know, just to keep up with the Jones. (thanks for the reference material jkhulon73)



That aside, I somewhat agree with Posture on the wounded duck thing. But, as a flavor. Bryan Johnson is also very metal and funny so, women would be more apt to flock to him. He's more John McClain/DieHard than Robert Smith/The Cure (although I hear he doesn't do too bad either). If Bryan was the size of a horse jockey and whining away while confessing his road of weary, Walt would not only be throwing out "Man up Johnson or it's one in the Gulliver!" lines, but chicks would be blogging Bryan calling him a "Pansy".

[Razorback]

Here I was under the impression that chicks dig jerks

No, no... they dig assholes. Get it right.

[Czaple]

No, no... they dig assholes. Get it right.

Works for me, although if you say asshole you can't quote catchy lyrics by Bill Hicks like,

"Aw, man Oh, Hitler had Ava Braun,
Manson had Squeaky Frawn,
Ted Bundy got lots of dates,
I wonder what I'm doing wrong.
I don't pretend to understand women's little quirks
Just one thing I know for sure - chicks dig jerks, yeah.
Well, if I meet one more single mom
Whose true love is up and gone
Tells me on her trailer porch
'Bout that man
Still carries a torch,
Sure, he came home drunk each night
Beat the kids and her in a fight,
But, man, she loves him so,
It's so hard to let him go, aw.
Well, I don't pretend to understand women's little quirks,
Just one thing I know for sure - chicks dig jerks. "

---

And now, for the rest (http://www.autolyrics.com/lyrics/for/Chicks_Dig_Jerks/by/Bill_Hicks)of the story.

[dtcb]

Ah, confidence. Assholes, jerks, and bitches tend to be confident. Or at least have that facade. Women definitely dig jerks/womanizers/confident men/Affleck;) . But, it goes both ways. Plenty of guys out there are primarily focused on Pamela Anderson types just to get their junk filthy.

[karmattack]

Ah, confidence. Assholes, jerks, and bitches tend to be confident. Or at least have that facade.
That's exactly my opinion on the matter. It's just that assholishness gets confused for confidence. Assholishness gets people pretty far these days.

[Razorback]

That's exactly my opinion on the matter. It's just that assholishness gets confused for confidence. Assholishness gets people pretty far these days.

You talking about me again?