Razorback Confesses His Worth

[Razorback]

If you have ever hated me or even loved me... this is the confession of the year. (http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=57218013&blogID=212910054&MyToken=cc85639c-a33e-4382-9e80-70f21b0a2c0d)

The curtain has been pulled back and the wizard revealed... mostly. Why would I link this here and beg to be mocked? Because it is time to end the bullshit. I am naked in the rain and it isn't pretty... seriously.

[Aaron]

I'm expecting you to delete this thread any minute now...

[Razorback]

I'm expecting you to delete this thread any minute now...

Nope. I have not felt this determined to ride out a storm as right now.

It needed to be said.

[Aaron]

Doing what a man has to do and all that stuff
I've been there
Ok, well, good luck with that
Just don't be disappointed when the storm turns out to be a shower

[Razorback]

Just don't be disappointed when the storm turns out to be a shower

Yeah well, I could use one of those right about now. The stink of failure needs washing.

[By-tor]

Holy shit, RB. That's some serious bad-mouthing of one's self. Good luck with "the change" this year. Don't look back, just forward. Looking back will tend to let that "other" RB come back into your life. Full speed ahead!!!! :)

[Antonio_Bay]

Last year my uncle found himself in the same predicament - he was - is - a good guy, but he'd said some things to people, perhaps missed the opportunity to say some things to people, made some bad moves and pretty much the entire family mocked him.

Then one day he came round and told me 'this is it, I have to change.' Everyone thought it was the usual bull, but he did it and corrected some of his wrongs - turned his life around, and I respect him for it, not just for succeeding, but for simply making the choice to change his ways.

Some people have too much pride to stand up and say 'yep, I was wrong about this and that...' and accept they need to change, so good luck Razorback. Go for it.

Plus, it doesnt hurt that you have the Force on your side!

[Razorback]

Holy shit, RB. That's some serious bad-mouthing of one's self. Good luck with "the change" this year. Don't look back, just forward. Looking back will tend to let that "other" RB come back into your life. Full speed ahead!!!! :)

Some people who have messaged me have suggested I should delete the blog because it is too negative about myself... but... ummm, no shit. :) That is the point.

I didn't say anything that wasn't true. I didn't drag names into it. It is my motivation and it has actually made me feel better about my place in the world. I have new purpose. I am done with finding excuses for my laziness or finding ways to sabotage things because I think they will fail anyway.

Now where is my boat? I have a world to take over.

[Razorback]

Last year my uncle found himself in the same predicament - he was - is - a good guy, but he'd said some things to people, perhaps missed the opportunity to say some things to people, made some bad moves and pretty much the entire family mocked him.

Then one day he came round and told me 'this is it, I have to change.' Everyone thought it was the usual bull, but he did it and corrected some of his wrongs - turned his life around, and I respect him for it, not just for succeeding, but for simply making the choice to change his ways.

Some people have too much pride to stand up and say 'yep, I was wrong about this and that...' and accept they need to change, so good luck Razorback. Go for it.

Plus, it doesnt hurt that you have the Force on your side!

I think that the impetus to this was something that needed to happen to make me realize that I could no longer just talk about change, I had to make it. I was meant to take this hit in life now so that I could make a change for the better.

When you, for whatever reason, make yourself a shit pie, don't eat it. Throw it away, start over, and make a yummy pie instead. :p

[Asteban]

My half sister used to be a legitimately awful person... drugs, prison, death threats, theft, assaulting officers that kind of thing. She popped out a few kids and now is a pretty decent human being, getting her business degree, working, raising her children quite well.

Maybe you should pop out a few :P

Ok, sorry, I make jokes out of most situations it's kind of my thing. But seriously good luck RB, I know that you're determined (and maybe stubbourn) enough to get your life the way you want it.

[acid_soda]

Good luck with the change this year, Razorback Quickstop Owner man :>

[Razorback]

You are never too old to learn something new... and in the past few weeks, I learned a whole hell of a lot about myself. So, thanks for the words. Also note that there is a new blog up that answer's the PM I received from a friend about the last one not being "sexy." :rolleyes:

[phit_demon]

I'm quite stunned by this thread, because you never struck me as one for turning the mirror on yourself. A lot of what you have said has rung very true with me, as I have been going through a similar situation recently. I wish you the best of luck with your efforts, and I will be making some changes this year also, most of which revolove around my frustration with my current situation. Here have some Irish good luck:

http://blog.fmokinawa.co.jp/forpm/images/DSCF0224.JPG

[Razorback]

I'm quite stunned by this thread, because you never struck me as one for turning the mirror on yourself.

By letting the air out of the bag, for all to see, I am saying that I accept responsibility for myself. That it is ok to tell me when I am fucking up. My friends and family have been very apprehensive about doing that because I can be very... intimidating, and they just didn't want to be on the receiving end of my anger. So, I have gotten away with a lot for far too long, and in the process gained weight and drifted away from who I am and what I should be doing with my life.

I think many people have this kind of moment in their life when they stop bullshitting everyone else and start admitting exactly why they are so fucked up and that it is ok to talk about it... instead of running away from it whenever someone brings it up. I needed to lose something I loved to be able to see that. I am not hiding anymore... though, that doesn't mean I won't keep secrets. :)

Some things you just don't tell people...

[phit_demon]

Some things you just don't tell people...
Amen to that.
I sincerely wish you the best though. It takes guts to lay it all out like you have.

[Razorback]

Amen to that.
I sincerely wish you the best though. It takes guts to lay it all out like you have.

Thanks. If only I had done it a long time ago... but one can't live in the past.

[phit_demon]

If only I had done it a long time ago...
In a galaxy far, far away? ;)

[Razorback]

In a galaxy far, far away? ;)

:D

All I needed and all I wanted I have lost. When that happens you either walk away or jump back into the game. Just call me new Bond. ;) I am borrowing from the CIA and playing another hand!

[Droogan_Leader]

Here's to new beginnings, dude.

[marksiwel]

http://thecia.com.au/reviews/c/images/chasing-amy-4.jpg


Girl Trouble?


Well, I dont really have anything to add to this. Just if things need changing and you have the power to do it. Then do it. Even if you are "wrong" just say your sorry and move on with it.

[Nitrogenycs]

I don't know you very well, but I do know it takes a deep honesty to come to the realizations you have, and it takes courage and discipline to do something about it.

You will get no sympathy from me :) but I encourage you to stick with it! You seem to have a deep determination, so keep focused.

Thanks for the blog. It was like looking into a mirror of me a few years ago, hell, even now I fall back into the old shit at times.... Anyone can change..