Superman Returns

[phit_demon]

Is anyone else as excited about this movie as me? I feel like I'm close to bursting point!

Between it's bad-ass one sheet:

http://media.monstersandcritics.com/movies/superman_1/images/group13/sronesheet628.jpg

...and now this (http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=23646) little doozie, I can barely contain myself.

I haven't been this rabid for a film since Sith, and then today I find out that it's not released in Europe until July 12th.....FUCK!!!

[ILovePapaSmurf]

Oh, it's going to suck.

Seriously. I have no faith in this movie what-so-ever. The trailer didn't excite me, neither did casting choices and from the sneak previews (and by previews, I mean the first look, etc.), the only thing good about this is well, nothing. At least for the 2 hours this movie will be on the screen we will get a chance to drool over this yummy choice for Superman and cringe at Kevin Spacey's Gene Hackman impressions. I'm sitting at the edge of my seat in anticipation. :(

[FanGirl]

I second Smurfy's statements and add that last year at Comicon Brian said he made this for the ladies. This is about old boyfriends coming home and wasn't happy about having to add a bad guy like Lex into the movie. Who wants to see Superman in love? I want to see Superman fight Darkseid. The end of JLU cartoon was what I would want to see in a movie. Superman unleashing on a villian.

"That man won't quit as long as he can still draw breath. None of my teammates will. Me, I've got a different problem. I feel like I live in a world made of cardboard. Always taking constant care not to break something. To break someone. Never allowing myself to lose control, even for a moment, or someone could die. But you can take it can't you, big man? What we have here is a rare oppurtunity for me to cut loose... and show you just how powerful I really am."

[phit_demon]

You'll both be proven wrong, and as for Kevin Spacey merely doing Gene Hackman impressions...that's the most ridiculous thing I've heard in quite a while. Even from the scenes that are in the trailers that is clearly not the case.

[PftLBritt]

I'm totally on the fence with this one. Since Singer is using bits of Brando as Jor-El, it does bring back memories of seeing the first one in a theater in Maine and coming out just awestruck; well, as much as a nine year-old could be. So, I have some hope there.

However, from the trailers, Routh looks as stiff as Anakin did in Ep 2. Spacey could go so far over-the-top with Luthor that he's more (unintentionally) funny than Hackman was. And Fanny's right - who wants to see a movie version of "Lois & Clark"? What they should've used "A Superman For All Seasons" for source material for the script. It would've made the re-introduction of Superman back into the public eye that much easier.

Ehh, what do I care? I'm a Batman fan.

[Razorback]

However, from the trailers, Routh looks as stiff as Anakin did in Ep 2.

Then it will be a great movie.

By the way, Batman sucks.

[FanGirl]

By the way, Batman sucks.

Oh you did not just say that.

[jjcourtright]

I'm with the ladies. The ads aren't doing anything for me. My excitement level is at a 2.

[PftLBritt]

I'm with the ladies. The ads aren't doing anything for me. My excitement level is at a 2.
Whoa there, mister, my name is not Lola. So, don't think be thinking that I'm some sort of filly that you can make the moves on.

As for you, RB, if you think Batman sucks, then


http://cache.defamer.com/assets/2006/06/superman-blows.jpg
Superman blows

[jjcourtright]

Whoa there, mister, my name is not Lola. So, don't think be thinking that I'm some sort of filly that you can make the moves on. You said that you were on the fence. I'm completely on the unexcited grass.

[Mighty Wingman]

I knew you were on somethin'.

[Zens7s]

It currently is being touted as one of the most gay-friendly movies on the market now. I can't see Superman as gay, and then I looked at the new star and realized I could kick his ass.

[karmattack]

Bryan Singer doing gay-friendly movies? I doubt it. Take X-Men:

Humans across the world are quickly finding that there is something in their genetics that makes them a different than "normal" humans. They're mutants. They're struggling to get laws passed that protect their rights for equal treatment, but they are labeled "freaks" because people are too afraid of what's next. Even Bobby (Iceman) tries to tell his parents that he's a mutant, just to have his mom ask "Can't you just try not being a mutant?" And then...

Ok, my typing hands can't even keep a straight face anymore. And I mean straight as in not gay.

As for Superman, I'm excited for it. I have enourmous trust in Bryan Singer as a director, and I am an OGS -- had the underoos and everything. Everything I've seen so far has been true to (or a true following to) what made me a Superman fan to begin with. I'm an optimist.

[Omaru]

Hey Karma, well at least you didn't mention Magneto telling Pyro how special he was in the scene where he showed him his purple helmet.

[Razorback]

Singer made this movie very emotional, very talky, and not an action movie for men without heart.

That means that some will absolutely love this movie and others will say it was boring because it took 90 minutes to get to the action.

[jjcourtright]

Bryan Singer doing gay-friendly movies? I doubt it. Take X-Men:

Humans across the world are quickly finding that there is something in their genetics that makes them a different than "normal" humans. They're mutants. They're struggling to get laws passed that protect their rights for equal treatment, but they are labeled "freaks" because people are too afraid of what's next. Even Bobby (Iceman) tries to tell his parents that he's a mutant, just to have his mom ask "Can't you just try not being a mutant?" And then...

Ok, my typing hands can't even keep a straight face anymore. And I mean straight as in not gay.

As for Superman, I'm excited for it. I have enourmous trust in Bryan Singer as a director, and I am an OGS -- had the underoos and everything. Everything I've seen so far has been true to (or a true following to) what made me a Superman fan to begin with. I'm an optimist. I hadn't heard about the supposed gayness of the movie until over the weekend. E!'s crawl had Singer responding to reports that Superman is gay by saying Superman "is probably the most heterosexual character in any movie I've ever made."

[ratm1966]

I really don't care about this movie and don't even know why I clicked on this thread. Okay, I just wanted to get rid of the new messages thingy for it.

[FanGirl]

A few friends have seen it. So far they have all liked it. I'm still leery though.

[BizarroPunisher]

He left X3 for this, so it better be pretty damn good. If it sucks, God help me, I'm finallly getting the knives surgically implanted into my fists and taking Singer down.

[vickie69er]

hi all,
i think that making another superman movie is a big mistake, in my eyes the only superman is christopher reeve.
I mean they have cast an unknown again but do people really think he will be able to fill mr reeves shoes, i dont.
i personllay wont be going to the movies to see this, if i wanna see superman ill stick to the originals.
They have even changed the costume slightly and cast kate bosworth who in my opinon cant act, did anyone see win a date with tad hamilton.
<center>
<img src="http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j209/kissmystephenson/i-cr_supes.jpg" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"><br><br>
<img src="http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j209/kissmystephenson/superman-returns.jpg" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"><br><br>
</center>
ps if the photos have come out above im so embarrsed, lol

[BizarroPunisher]

Yeah, you may really be a fan of Christopher Reeve, but has everyone forgotten about the original Superman, George Reeves? I mean, the old show was cheesy as hell, but I enjoy watching them. At some point, someone had to take over the role of Supes. It was inevitable. I just hope they chose the right guy. Boycotting a superhero movie because the title role's played by another actor is ridiculous, especially when the original actor shows no signs of returning to the series (probably because he's dead). Anyway, that's my opinion.

http://www.delos.fantascienza.com/delos41/smfl2.jpg

[Donna Sumeria]

The TV series is really the only reason I'm interested in this film. I've never been into the Superman comics, but I used to watch the show as a little kid and I have a lot of good memories.
I'll save my complaints for after the movie, if I have any.

[DOOM2099]

This movie will absolutely suck. Even the Super hero movies that have been good still aren't really great, including Spider-Man and X-Men etc. Yeah, they were okay, but they never would have gotten made without the IP to drive it. The story/plot/dialogue was weak in all these movies, Batman included (yeah I said it).

Meanwhile, the real innovation in entertainment is the creation of new IPs with better media efforts, like the Incredibles, Toy Story, etc etc.

The reason these Superhero movies suck is because they have to be changed around in order to ''work'' onscreen, in real life. I still don't know why Peter had organic webshooters. The original Supes films were awful after two pictures. The mistake here is that these movies are all style with no substance. Read a comic someday, there are things actually going on in there. Subplots and intrigue abound. But the movie assumes that you are retarded and don't know about this guy that got bitten by a radioactive spider and became a spandex wearing freak and we have to explain it all to you. Why? Why all that and then leave out any semblance of real charcter development? Bleh, I'm off topic.

Anyway, Superman 90210 looks hideous.

[BizarroPunisher]

This movie will absolutely suck. Even the Super hero movies that have been good still aren't really great, including Spider-Man and X-Men etc. Yeah, they were okay, but they never would have gotten made without the IP to drive it. The story/plot/dialogue was weak in all these movies, Batman included (yeah I said it).

Meanwhile, the real innovation in entertainment is the creation of new IPs with better media efforts, like the Incredibles, Toy Story, etc etc.

What?! I'd rather watch X-Men or Spider-Man than The Incredibles. Look, sure the movies sometime (Spider-Man) treat movie-goers like they're retarded, but some moviegoers are that damn stupid or they've never picked up a comic book (by the way, hardcore comic fans should pick up Comic Book: The Movie, which makes fun of the current comic-book movie fad and does a spectacular job). Anyway, everyone has their own opinions about the subject but I personally feel comic book movies are evolving into very watchable experiences that at least use the characters we nerds love. Also, I don't think a comic book movie is about innovation, it's about using existing characters to appeal to the masses in a movie format. Whatever, there's my opinion once again.

Also, did you mean Batman (the Tim Burton movie) or Batman Begins? Because if you meant Batman Begins, I may have to inflict physical harm upon you. That's Nerdish for fighting.

[FanGirl]

X-Men 1 & 2 and Spiderman 1 & 2 are amazing movies, but don't discount Incredibles becasue it's Pixar. The Incredibles is what Fantastic Four should have been. Brad Bird is a god. Iron Giant and Incredibles are phenomenal. Also, you can tell exactly when he started on The Simpsons and when he left.

[BizarroPunisher]

X-Men 1 & 2 and Spiderman 1 & 2 are amazing movies, but don't discount Incredibles becasue it's Pixar. The Incredibles is what Fantastic Four should have been.

I didn't discount it because it's Pixar, I just personally didn't enjoy the movie. I guess it's just me, as everyone I talk with seems to love the damn thing. But anyway, I have nothing against Pixar, I just don't like someone saying an inferior movie (The Incredibles, in my opinion) is better than an obviously superior movie (X-Men). Whatever, maybe it's just me.

[FanGirl]

What didn't you like about it?

[wampa_one]

SPOILER:

WTF with Superman being the father of Lois' baby?

It's impossible, Lois could never have Superman's baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle the sperm? I guarantee you he blows his load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her womb? Do you think it's strong enough to carry his kid?

[Razorback]

I didn't discount it because it's Pixar, I just personally didn't enjoy the movie. I guess it's just me, as everyone I talk with seems to love the damn thing. But anyway, I have nothing against Pixar, I just don't like someone saying an inferior movie (The Incredibles, in my opinion) is better than an obviously superior movie (X-Men). Whatever, maybe it's just me.

X-Men 1 was a crappy movie when compared with The Increds. So was Spidey 1. That is not an opinion, that is proven fact that I just pulled out of the air.

[BizarroPunisher]

What didn't you like about it?

I don't know. I wanted to like it, I really did, but I just didn't.

[phit_demon]

if you meant Batman Begins, I may have to inflict physical harm upon you.
Ditto.
Batman Begin naysayers shall be crucified.

[BonusBuck]

I don't know. I wanted to like it, I really did, but I just didn't.

I agree. I saw the movie last night and thought the acting was pretty lame. It seemed like they put more effort in the 3rd effect than the actual story line.

Was not my favorite Superman.

[karmattack]

See, this is my favorite Superman movie yet. It had to compete with a lot of feelings of nostalgia, but I made sure to watch the original a few times before I went. I definitely think Christopher Reeve created a stronger division between the Clark and Superman characters (the fumbling, the posture, the voice, the glasses adjusting), which is 95% of what keeps his true identity under wraps. Other than that, I think everything was more true to what makes Superman potent (pun! pun!) and mystical as a hero. The plot was much better, the moments of action were more relevant and evenly weighted, the villians were more threatening, the romance was more believeable. Other than that, I thought the dialogue was on par........didn't upstage, and didn't let down.

Overall, I wouldn't say I'm going to go jumping off any roofs with a garbage bag parachute like I did after the first one, but I'd like to think that's because I grew up a little bit between the movies.

[FanGirl]

I liked it more than I thought, but I had some issues with it. The main one was how weak they made Lois. I always thought he liked her because she was so strong and confident. I also wished they had just decided to have him play superman/clark than have him play Christopher Reeves playing superman/clark. It took me out of the movie. Also, the movie is insanely too long and felt like it.

I thought the effects were good and my favorite moment is between Lex and Lois. I didn't groin as much as I thought I would. Also, Cyclops did a much better acting job than in his previous movies. However, the casting seemed off all the way around. Jimmy Olsen needed to be shot. That actor was terrible. Shia leBeoff would have been so much better. Lois would have been better older maybe Jennifer Jason Leigh especially if it's supposed to be 5 years after Superman 2.

Overall, I just think they didn't need to do a love story. We've seen that. We've seen his origin. We've seen the good guy. We haven't seen him really throw down or how scary Superman can be if he wasn't on our side. I would rather have Lex trying convince us that the world doesn't need Superman than his lame quest for real estate. They've shown us a Superman that everyone loves. Let's see the Superman that is truly alien and people don't know if they can trust. X-Men started to show that a bit more, but none of the movies have tackled it with the except of the opening of Incredibles, but even that was a blink of an eye.

[karmattack]

It's pretty common for us to feel differently about these film translations, but I wanted to throw these out there.

The main one was how weak they made Lois. I always thought he liked her because she was so strong and confident. That suprises me. What did she do that you thought made her weak? I thought that *SPOILERS* [highlight] from the moment she was asking the "tough" questions on the plane, to when she dove into the water to save him,*/SPOILERS* she was showing that strength she's known for. Otherwise, it seemed like she was acting like a hurt woman who had an amazing love in her life and lost it without explanation.

I also wished they had just decided to have him play superman/clark than have him play Christopher Reeves playing superman/clark. If you watch the early movies back-to-back with this one, there is far less of that than it seems. When I watched early previews, I was worried about this. After comparing the two, I really thought Brandon was true to himself and the characters. Like I mentioned before, I felt like his Clark was different and less exaggerated (therefore lacking) than the one Christopher Reeve did. Brandon said himself that Christopher Reeve's Supes was the one he grew up with and what he pictured when he read the script. He said Chris' spirit is in it, but that he was always acting from the character and the script, and not from an impersonation.

Overall, I just think they didn't need to do a love story. We've seen that. We've seen his origin. We've seen the good guy I agree that a lot of what is in this movie is "refresher," but considering the fact that it's been almost 20 years since there's been a big-budget Superman movie, that seems like the right thing to do. Hopefully they follow in the footsteps of Spider-Man and show the wide range of conflicts Supes presents and faces.

[FanGirl]

That suprises me. What did she do that you thought made her weak?

A lot of the little stuff like whiny to Cyclops that Perry want let her do what she wants. Lying about the smoking. I just think they softened her too much. Lois seems like the kind that would be more angry than hurt. It's one thing to say harsh things, but another to so it with a puppy dog look on her face that she could leap into his arms at any moment.

I was expecting the kind of Lois from the first movie that screams at Superman for leaving her in the desert despite the fact that he just reversed time to save her. These two versions of her seemed very different.

If you watch the early movies back-to-back with this one, there is far less of that than it seems.

I did watch it and noticed a lot more lines and moments taken directly from it.Some of his delieveries were so dead on it just pulled me out and I missed Christopher Reeve.

I think Bryan got so caught up in making it seemless that he lost his voice and the movie got trapped somewhere between being what it was and being new and different.

[karmattack]

I see what you're saying. I guess I just focus on different things.

[FanGirl]

Well, I might be off since I was kicked in the face at the theater right before the movie started. Some idiot was climbing over the seat and kicked me in the face. He apologized an spent the first 20 mins of the film talking and laughing. Not to mention their were people screaming out "fast forward" "why is he still talking?" "dude, where's the plot?" and so out throughout. The consensus of the crowd was very negative.

[marksiwel]

WHAT! That was the best Olsen ever! Ever...EVER!

I just felt first 45 Minutes GOLD
THen the 5 1/2 hours after that were blah


Too Long.
Superman didnt bust ass like he should have

Lex wasnt evil enough, or too Dr. Evil for my taste.

Overall have to agree with Fangirl, expect about Olsen, OLSEN WAS ROCKING

[FanGirl]

Are we supposed to want to stab him through the heart? In that case, yes he rocked.

[ozchick]

I just got back from seeing it. To be honest I had zero interest in it during the lead up. I just didn't want to not see possibly the biggest movie of the year. Anyhoo, in a nutshell, I liked it and I was surprised that I liked it. I haven't seen the originals in about a million years so I wondered if I'd "get it". But it was all good. I thought Kate Bosworth was good (in the very least she was way better than Katie Cruise in Batman Begins) but she did seem a bit young. I also noticed the lack of Clark Kent. I'm glad I got a decent quota of Cyclops/Richard after getting jipped in X3 - that guy is sooo yummy! So yeah it was good.

[FanGirl]

I noticed the lack of Clark as well. Funny thing is the most promising thing Bryan had said last year was there were three sides to the character. There was the superhero in the cape. There was the secret identity in the glasses. Finally, there was the natural self on the farm where he had and could use his powers without being a superhero. I really liked the idea of seeing all those sides compared and contrasted, but really in this one we only got to see the man in the cape. With Batman there are only two sides and the interesting conflict there is deciding if the costume he puts on is the bulletproof one of Batman or the Brooks Brothers one of Bruce Wayne.

[ILovePapaSmurf]

Kate Bosworth was a horrible casting decision. And, I agree, they made the Lois Lane character act like many of the bimbos that we see on screen acting like a damsel in distress. And, if she was thrown around in the plane as she was, she would be madly hurt. MADLY. That just really bugged me.

I liked the new Superman. I thought he was cute and he could actually act, but for some reason I was like, how could you not fucking tell that is Superman when he was wearing the glasses? Honestly, it bugged the crap out of me.

I hated how they made Lois overall.

*SPOILER*



How she uses poor James Marsden as the baby's daddy. How is that could to play in the future, honestly?

Pure shit, pure shit. And to think, I expected more from Bryan Singer who brought use the first two x-men films which were awesome!

[ozchick]

I liked the new Superman. I thought he was cute and he could actually act, but for some reason I was like, how could you not fucking tell that is Superman when he was wearing the glasses? Honestly, it bugged the crap out of me.


I thought that too. SPOILERS:






Especially when he was in hospital and not wearing the costume - I was like "COME ON - YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO SEE IT NOW!!!"

[Mighty Wingman]

Nobody recognizes me when I wear glasses.

But when I wear my cape... still, nobody recognizes me.

That's why I carry the American Express card...

[ozchick]

Well I wear glasses 70% of the time... but when I wear my contacts - People still recognise me!!! Maybe I need a cape.

[By-tor]

I didn't groin as much as I thought I would. And, I'm spent. ;)

[FanGirl]

In the immortal words of Mark Twain:

"I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way."

[By-tor]

groan ;)

[BizarroPunisher]

Just saw it yesterday. Overall enjoyable, yet nowhere near the perfection of Batman Begins. I liked it, but it could have been better. Let's hope Singer goes back to revive the X-Men series after Ratner shit all over it.

[epicadventure]

As someone who was basically new to the Superman franchise, I was pleasantly surprised by how fully I was able to follow the movie and all the Superman background. I knew the basics, like the Clark Kent/Superman identity thing, and Lois Lane as the love interest, but my personal favorite explanation was how Kryptonite got it's name- I knew enough about Superman to know about Kryptonite- but could never understand why his home planet and his Achilles Heel shared the same name. I thought maybe they just used "Krypt-" as their prefix for everything, like "Valmorphanize" in Team America. But nope- its the radioactive planet.

**SPOLIERS AHEAD**
Other comments-

- The plane rescue was awesome. Brilliant idea to have it land on the baseball field, where you totally feel the impulse to join in the crowd cheering Superman's return and latest save.

- Lois Lane was kind of/really lame- she just didn't really stand out in any way. When Superman zooms by the plane window, you'd think she'd react. Even just a little. Like, maybe eyes widening in surprise or disbelief. No? Well, ok, I guess...

- LOVED the music (saw it in IMAX, where you can feel, as well as hear, the awesome score)

- Brandon Routh did an incredible job with his role. I don't care if it wasn't original, if he was copying Reeves, it was great. Clark Kent was adorable in his reactions, and he played Superman with a confidence that was remarkable, more so when you consider that this was his first big role.

- Jimmy Olson was fantastic. I don't even know how to describe it excatly, except that he's just what you'd expect.

**END SPOILERS

Overall, though it wasn't perfect, I thought the movie was excellent- very entertaining- and that Bryan Singer has created a wonderful homage/reintroduction to Superman.

[Mr. Bungle]

***One big spoiler/philisophical debate (to be taken with a grain of salt)***




Let’s be honest. A lot of us shut up about what really is interesting about movies. Superman Returns is a movie with eye-popping SFX, incredible visuals, and a decent story. However, none of it matters - all of it is filler for one single plot in this movie - Superbaby.

First off, let’s get it out of the way - this is the only storyline worth talking about, and it is the one storyline which was ignored the whole film long. Lois ‘Slut’ Lane was busy screwing both Superman and Richard White (Perry White’s son) and conceived a baby, just before Superman left to find his folks in space. How do we know this?

1. Lois, most assuredly, gave birth to Superman’s baby. There is no doubt on this fact.
2. Richard believes that the baby is his.

Unless he thought it was born “premature”, Lois was clearly sleeping with both within the same 2 weeks, possibly the same day. (This is not mentioned anywhere in the plot, and unless the baby was believed to be born 6 months premature, she would still be a slut to anyone except to the intended audience - twenty- and thirty-something losers who never will amount to anything. Besides, a 6 month premature baby would clearly be mentioned, as its survival would be a miracle). Now, whether this is a one-off or a recurring thing is unclear, but it seems clear that she was hiding both men from each other. Clark Kent clearly did not know Richard White (they said as much in the movie). This implies that Lois was screwing one, clearing him out, and then nailing the other. What a hussy! What a fantastic slut! She was cheating on Superman, Super f***ing man! And to make it worse, it was with the Boss’ rich nephew! To make it even worse, she has the gall to tell Richard (AKA: pen*s supply) that she never had anything with Superman - what gall!

Now you might think I will say it is immoral, and to be sure - it is. However, it is such a fantastic, unbelievable idea - she was cheating on Superman! Superman!!! What an incredible, awesome plot point! Sure, it might be morally bankrupt, but no one really thinks of American women as being bastions of moral fiber anyway. On the other hand, the potential for story-telling from this modern tale of romance is so lurid, I think it is fantastic. I mean, heck, just first off imagine what we could say about the Super-Sperm!

I wouldn’t be an honest man if I didn’t ask myself about this. How did Lois manage to convince both Superman and her hapless beta-boy Richard that she wasn’t sleeping with the other, after she produced the Superbaby? I don’t think Lois comes off as smart enough to be able to juggle both for a long time. Let us assume she banged Superman only once, because it becomes too sickening to contemplate if that hussy was trading sperm producers for much longer. The film’s writer is ingenious and provides some clues as to how this happened. Lois clearly did not think her child was Superman’s until Lex Luthor started playing with Kryptonite in front of him. Superman was clearly shocked and angered at the idea of her having a child. She (until the climax, no pun intended, of the film) clearly did think it was Richard’s baby. This implies that she felt her fling with Superman could not have produced a baby. This implies several things.

1. Superman was using birth control

2. She did not feel that a one-time relationship (even so close to her child’s conception) could have produced a child.

3. They were engaging in a form of sex that does not produce children

1 & 2 are easily discountable - Superman is SUPERMAN. This means that no mere mortal birth control device could keep his assimilating sperm from penetrating their flimsy plastic hide and impregnating Lois. As well, a one-time with Superman and his super-sperm is more than enough to produce a child, he is SUPERMAN. His Sperm would probably destroy Richard’s sperm in her womb and each one would survive to fight with each other to produce her child. Lois knew this better than anyone.

3 is the only possibility. It is only all to clear what this means.

Lois gave Richard front-side access, while Superman did his business in the back-door.

It is entirely sensible. As Lois is still alive (and had a baby), super-sperm is clearly not lethally corrosive. As such, it is unlikely she took it in the mouth and it dissolved its way through various systems until it reached her uterus. Anal is another matter. While many foolish people believe there is no chance of conceiving a child through anal sex, the truth is fluid can leak out of the anal cavities and into the vagina without the knowledge of either party. Superman is strong, but he is not brilliant, and Lois is a hussy so she probably doesn’t spend much time considering the implications of her behavior.

After an anal encounter, Superman’s alien sperm probably traversed the short distance between the anus and the vagina and reached her womb. This might have taken some time, but Superman is invulnerable, and it is safe to assume his alien sperm has some aspect of that to them. Instead of dying instantly on exposure to air, they probably could survive long enough to enter her vagina. (The resulting damage might explain why Superbaby was suffering from so many diseases) They proceeded to destroy Richard’s sperm with some form of heat beam, and fought each other until one rose triumphant and fertilized the desired egg. This solves several problems.

First: Richard didn’t feel how loose Lois got after accepting the Man of Steel’s member.
Second: It explains why Superman didn’t expect to have a child with Lois.

Of course, now we have a whole bunch of interesting future plots, beyond the conception issue. Just one pops out to me right now.

How will Lois explain to Richard when his son starts getting Super-powers?

An honest sequel story would do the following:

Richard’s life is saved by Superbaby and he realizes he has been duped. Lois confesses the truth, and in an showing of non-meterosexual 1950s male pride, Richard dumps the whore, and she runs crying to Superman. Superman realizes that Lois is unethical as a person, and that there are plenty of “unplowed fields” with non-cheating hearts attached to them. He leaves to “seed them”, so to speak, with his child in tow. Lois, being a spoilt manipulative woman who played with the affections of a rich millionare and Superman, dies a lonely and miserable death with no one to care for her. An acceptable fashion would be of some sort of mutation within Lex Luthor’s child, which she would be carrying at the time.

The actual sequel story will do the following:



-Richard realizes Superbaby has powers and accepts Lois’ arguments that her uncle was a Superpowered individual, and that as a result the baby inherited the genes.


-Richard is killed off, possibly as a Supervillain. Within an hour or two, Lois starts shacking up with Superman (and lives happily ever after)


-Richard finds out that Lois cheated on him, and does the “manly” thing of apologizing to her and presenting her to Superman because that is what American men should be ready to do for their womenfolk.

I love Superman Returns - It is layered with 21st century hippy hypocrisy. I look forward to seeing the sequel, because it will have even more. Remember, don’t hold people responsible for their actions and the pain it causes other people - you should be accepting, gracious, and remember that whenever a women is to blame, it really means it is the man’s fault.

[Real M.C.]

Lois gave Richard front-side access, while Superman did his business in the back-door. . .

The actual sequel story will do the following:



-Richard realizes Superbaby has powers and accepts Lois’ arguments that her uncle was a Superpowered individual, and that as a result the baby inherited the genes.


-Richard is killed off, possibly as a Supervillain. Within an hour or two, Lois starts shacking up with Superman (and lives happily ever after)


-Richard finds out that Lois cheated on him, and does the “manly” thing of apologizing to her and presenting her to Superman because that is what American men should be ready to do for their womenfolk.

I love Superman Returns - It is layered with 21st century hippy hypocrisy. I look forward to seeing the sequel, because it will have even more. Remember, don’t hold people responsible for their actions and the pain it causes other people - you should be accepting, gracious, and remember that whenever a women is to blame, it really means it is the man’s fault.

Hmmm. . .you forgot one. . .call it the fourth, possible, future sequel story. . .

-SUPER ASS-BABIES FROM THE PLANET SPHINCTOID battle Superman for believability and control of the Republican party, circa 1955.

Ass babies. Huh. . .good one, Santa Clause.

[ILovePapaSmurf]

SPOILER!:


The whole "Who's my baby's daddy" plot ruined the Lois Lane character for me. Sorry.

[AlexM]

SPOILERS:

You guys apparantly are unaware of how Lois got pregnant, so I'll clue you in. In Super-Man 2, Clark became human. During this time, he slept with Lois and impregnated her. At the end of the movie, after he got his powers back, he used them to make her forget about their time together. (Super-Man 3 and 4 were apparantly erased from the storyline and he leaves Earth shortly after the end of Super-Man 2) End results:

A. Super-Man was able to impregnate Lois despite being different species because he was human at the time.

B. Lois is completely and totally unaware that she ever had sex with Super-Man, so her telling Lex that she is sure that Richard is the father is the truth as far as she knows it.

Beyond that, everything else is in question. Presumably she had some sort of relationship with Richard around the time of the events of Super-Man 2. There's no good reason under this scenario that the kid should have any powers though.

Oh, and yes, everything about the Lois storyline hurt the movie pretty badly for me. They basically tried to make Super-Man more human and give him a more Spider-Man like angst, which is crap. Super-Man's angst comes from being "perfect" and lonely because of it. Turning him into a peeping Tom sullies that.

[ILovePapaSmurf]

B. Lois is completely and totally unaware that she ever had sex with Super-Man, so her telling Lex that she is sure that Richard is the father is the truth as far as she knows it.

Uh, from watching the film, it is pretty noticeable that she did, in fact, know that Superman was the kid's father. I mean, if what you said was true, I am sure they would have presented it in a different light.

Lois is a tramp. End of discussion.

[ozchick]

Who cares? Both guys are hot! I'd do them both given the chance too :D

[By-tor]

Who cares? Both guys are hot! I'd do them both given the chance too :DSettle down, woman!!! Your talk of doing anybody is enough to set the males of this board into a frenzy. ;)

[phit_demon]

I finally get to watch it on Friday. God I hate delayed release dates.

[AlexM]

Uh, from watching the film, it is pretty noticeable that she did, in fact, know that Superman was the kid's father. I mean, if what you said was true, I am sure they would have presented it in a different light.

Lois is a tramp. End of discussion.

I never said Lois's behavior made any sense even in light of what I said.

[phit_demon]

I just got back from it....and it was possibly the greatest cinematic experience I've ever had. Perfect!
Brandon Routh IS Superman, no two ways about it. There were times when he was indistinguishable from Chris Reeve (I don't consider that a bad thing).
I liked Kate Bosworth, I thought she played the part perfectly, feck all you nay-sayers...;)
And what can be said about Kevin Spacey that won't seem like I'm short-changing him...outstanding? No, that's no good. Transcendent....yes, that will do. He completely blew me away. Parker Posey was great as well, she made me giggle many times.

I'm gonna wait a while before talking about it properly, cos I'm way too excited to type. Let's just leave it at this:

It's frickin' amazing, it's spectacular, dare I say it...Super!

[By-tor]

Shut up, Jor-El !!! ;)

[phit_demon]

Shut up, Jor-El !!! ;)
Kneel before Phit!

[DCH101]

Superman Returns was ,much better then I thought it was going to be. I had my doubts. Is better then X-Men 3.

[marvelfre@K]

i acctually payed 10 bucks to see this crap, superman returns is a extreamly bad flick and anyone who says otherwise dosent know anything about movies.

[PftLBritt]

This implies that she felt her fling with Superman could not have produced a baby. This implies several things.

1. Superman was using birth control

2. She did not feel that a one-time relationship (even so close to her child’s conception) could have produced a child.

3. They were engaging in a form of sex that does not produce children

While your logic has some merit, you neglected to include on your list one of the most common methods of birth control that has been practiced for centuries, which is:

1a. The Rhythm Method (a.k.a. the "Pull and Pray" method)

This omission could be due to the fact that you personally have not tried the method yourself or you just wanted to lead everyone who read your very long post to conclude that Superman liked doing Lois in the poop shoot. In any case, if you were a teenager in the 80s prior to the outbreak of AIDS, this was your tried-and-true, bread-and-butter method.

And for a Christ-like allusion that Superman is considered to be, the only method that was exclusively endorsed by the Catholic Church would be the appropriate way to go.

So, how this "Superbaby" come into being if Superman used the R&R method? Well, even though Superman is an alien, he is a white alien. And as everybody knows, white aliens have no rhythm.

[bluntman92]

i saw the movie and i have to say it sucked ass so bad i coulden't belive
plus the movie cost millions of dollares and it was all about the story no action no kiling the bad guy it was a big disapointment :(

[phit_demon]

i saw the movie and i have to say it sucked ass so bad i coulden't belive
plus the movie cost millions of dollares and it was all about the story no action no kiling the bad guy it was a big disapointment :(
Not enough explosions for you or something?

i acctually payed 10 bucks to see this crap, superman returns is a extreamly bad flick and anyone who says otherwise dosent know anything about movies.
Well, at least you're not resorting to sweeping statements.:rolleyes:

[notbond007]

Bryan Singer is an ass ramming underoos sniffer. He crapped all over Christopher Reeves' legacy, and he should rot in hell!!!!

This movie gets two thumbs up the ass following by a thunderous fart finale!!!

[FanGirl]

Seriously, you might want to tone down the font size and boldness. We can read you just fine.

[Lupaschuck]

On a different note..
Kate Bosworth sucked, but it wasn't a Natalie Portman in Episode 3 kind of suck, it was just a she's not really Lois kind of suck.

[By-tor]

but it wasn't a Natalie Portman in Episode 3 kind of suck, Oh, that should go over well.

[FanGirl]

*throws tarp over regulars and watches Lupa standing next to the Razorback's pit*

We really need a new tarp. This one is soaked in newbie blood.

[By-tor]

Hey if you change a letter, or two in "Lupaschuck", you get "Lucasphuck". Coincidence? I think not. :D

[DOOM2099]

iT bUH suX!!11111ONE!!!1111

I can't believe people liked this crap.