Jason the Luddite

[Jason_Brown]

Moved into the new 100-year-old house

Love the space and the parkin' is easy

Floors a' slopin'

No cable a wirin'

I been down to the whippin' post

Lord knows, I'm dyin'.







Dun-dun-dun
Da
Dun
Dun
Dun
:)

[Jason_Brown]

Incandescent bulb, that's what you are
Incandescent bulb though near or far
Like a song of love that clings to me
How the thought of you does things to me
Never before has someone been more

Incandescent bulb in every way
And forever more, that's how you'll stay
That's why, darling, it's incredible
That someone so incandescent bulb
Thinks that I am incandescent bulb too

No never before
has someone been more ooh

Incandescent bulb in every way
And forever more, that's how you'll stay
That's why, darling, it's incredible
That someone so incandescent bulb
Thinks that I am incandescent bulb too

[Aaron]

My name is double A, some call me double aces
You're not even in my league son, not fit to tie my laces
As I school you on your rhymes with this lyrical treat
You're only left with the ability to stare at your feet
I know you know, cant match my flow, of which I have in buckets
Your talents low, your ass in tow, youre left to cry out "fuck it"
I'll leave with this, its not a diss, I just had to point out
That I have no clue, and I ask you, what the fuck is this thread about?

[phit_demon]

...old school!
http://www.geocities.com/taschowdhury/Groupgall5/g5-16.jpg

[Jason_Brown]

Anatomy of A Tragedy:
How Jason Brown Created the Worst Thread in Movie Poop Shoot History

It all started innocently enough. I created a quick post, describing some of the ups and downs of moving into my first house. For some reason, I decided to do this in verse. For some other reason, it degenerated into a quote from the Allman Brothers Band’s “Whipping Post”.

The title of the thread, “Jason the Luddite”, was a reference to the fact that the new 100 year-old-house was not wired for cable. Hence, I was forced to return to the world of rabbit ears and dial-up. (See also, the “No cable a’ wirin’” line.) The term “Luddite” is used to describe anyone opposed to technological progress and technological change. I am not opposed to technological progress, but have merely been denied such progress by circumstance. This was clearly the funniest joke ever told.

SILENCE.

By the second day, it was clear that the thread had bombed. I was excited, however, at the prospect of getting new light bulbs to replace the horrible fluorescent bulbs in the house. I suddenly remembered that “unforgettable” and “incandescent bulb” had the same number of syllables. Because nothing was happening in the thread, I decided to post the lyrics to Nat King Cole’s “Incandescent Bulb”. Clearly, this was the second funniest joke ever told.

FINALLY, A RESPONSE!

Alas, Aaron, in an elegant bit of rhymin’, expressed what I feared most: Nobody knew what the hell I was talking about.

Well, I hope this clears things up. I apologize. Sometimes, obscurity is not a virtue.

Best wishes from Cairo’s notorious “Robot Slum”,
Jason Brown

[By-tor]

I don't know how to respond to that. Wait, ..um yeah.. congrats on the new house.:cool:

[Dave]

I can't wait to hear what happens when you replace the plumbing or take out the Asbestos

[TLS]

Hope the wiring has been updated since then. My mom's house is over 100 years old and the wiring in her house is some kind of fiber wiring (and not the fiber optics kind.) It's literally wires wrap in some kind of cloth insulation, I think they call it Roman X wiring or something like that. Apparently it's a fire hazard.

[FanGirl]

I think you might have gotten a better response out of this group if you had quoted "Money Pit" instead.

[Jason_Brown]

I think you might have gotten a better response out of this group if you had quoted "Money Pit" instead.
"You testing missiles out here?" :D

[JaimePaulFalcon]

Rise and shine, campers, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today.
It's cold out there every day. What is this, Miami Beach?
Not hardly. So the big question on everybody's lips...
(On their chapped lips)
...their chapped lips is, does Phil feel lucky? Punksatawney Phil, thats right wood chuck chuckers it's
GROUND HOG DAY

[FanGirl]

"Ah, home crap home."

I just rewatched this movie recently. It's still good just odd seeing Tom Hanks being funny. I wish he would go back to doing slapstick comedy.

[By-tor]

Ahhh...for the golden yesteryears of Bosom Buddies.;)

[jjcourtright]

Rise and shine, campers, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today.
It's cold out there every day. What is this, Miami Beach?
Not hardly. So the big question on everybody's lips...
(On their chapped lips)
...their chapped lips is, does Phil feel lucky? Punksatawney Phil, thats right wood chuck chuckers it's
GROUND HOG DAY
I was going to go with, "Phil? Phil Connors? Phil Connors, I thought that was you!"

[FanGirl]

"Ned" *punches him out cold*

I quote that movie all the time.

"Don't you have a line for emergencies or celebrities. I'm both. A celebrity having an emergency. What about the satellites? Is it snowing in space?"

[Jason_Brown]

Hope the wiring has been updated since then. My mom's house is over 100 years old and the wiring in her house is some kind of fiber wiring (and not the fiber optics kind.) It's literally wires wrap in some kind of cloth insulation, I think they call it Roman X wiring or something like that. Apparently it's a fire hazard.
The house was totally rehabbed by the previous owner, so all of the plumbing, electrical, heating and AC are up to code. All we (and by we, I mean the flooring contractor) had to do was install hardwood on the stairs and 2nd floor, and sand and stain everything on both floors to match.

[Sheriff]

*BING!*

Am I right, or am I right, or am I right?

[FanGirl]

Ned! *pause* Rierson *pauses* Ned. Needlenose Ned. Ned the Head *pause* Did the whilsing belly routine for the talent show *pause* Ned. got shingles real bad senior year almost didn't graduate. *pause* I dated your sister Mary Pat until you told me not to.

Ned?

BING

[Sheriff]

"If there was no tomorrow, that would mean no hangovers!"

"Hey Phil, if we wanted to hit mailboxes we could have let Ralph drive!"

[FanGirl]

"Is it too early for flapjacks?"

[Sheriff]

"Watch that first step, it's a Dooooosy!"


*In best Clint Eastwood voice*

"I told you, call me Bronco"

[Jason_Brown]

Waiting for the Electrician, or Someone Like Him

So, apparently, if you want your house wired for cable, and you want the cable inside the wall, as opposed to out, you need to hire an electrician. The local cable installers just flat-out won't do it.

I've now met with two well-reputed electricians. Estimates are due soon. I really hope the installation is within our budget. I miss my "Daily Show" and Sci-fi is going to start airing the new "Doctor Who" soon. And don't get me started on missing the new eps of "Justice League Unlimited".

Best wishes, from Cairo's notorious "Robot Slum",
Jason Brown

[karmattack]

Comcast had to do a little rewiring to the room I'm occupying at my mom's for the next few months. Before anyone asks, it's not in the basement. I got cable internet installed and some wires and/or connectors were a little too outdated apparently. When they left, we were also receiving 50 more channels on the boobala tubala.

What I'm saying is I wish you this kind of luck, Sir.

[Zens7s]

Comcast had to do a little rewiring to the room I'm occupying at my mom's for the next few months. Before anyone asks, it's not in the basement. I got cable internet installed and some wires and/or connectors were a little too outdated apparently. When they left, we were also receiving 50 more channels on the boobala tubala.

What I'm saying is I wish you this kind of luck, Sir.
Since the building I live in falls under the rules of the Historic Register of National Places it means I can't do much of anything really interesting to the walls. Which means that the ONE cable jack in the whole place is all I can have. Luckily this is a good place for the TV and can hide the wires. Unluckily my office is across the room so I have to go buy a wireless router and all kinds of whatnot so that I don't have 25 ft. of ethernet cable running across my floor, waiting to trip all my silly friends who can't even manage to stop knocking the lamp over.

[jjcourtright]

But with wireless, you can do work (read: look at porn) in bed!

[Zens7s]

But with wireless, you can do work (read: look at porn) in bed!
And that is precisely my goal!

Bring on the Susan does Sacramento! Or is that Debbie Does Dallas? :)

[karmattack]

But with wireless, you can do work (read: look at porn) in bed!
Yeah, but you don't need a wireless router for that. You just need your computer by your bed and have a wireless keyboard and mouse. That's my setup, and I even have my computer connected to my TV as a second monitor and the soundcard connected to my stereo reciever. Porn theater anyone? Yay-HAH!! :o

[phit_demon]

As I type, my landlord is digging up my hallway because the apartment below us have been complaining about a leak in the ceiling for a few weeks now.
They only figured out yesterday which pipe it was that was causing the problem, and since said pipe is embedded in concrete, they've been using a jackhammer on the floor all morning.
WEEEEEE!
There is now a small river flowing through what used to be the hall, and I can't use the shower, let alone gain access to my room and therefore my stuff.
Great start to the weekend.:rolleyes:

[Zens7s]

Sounds like my place right now. The person that lived here before me let the bathtub run over. So for the last year the wood that makes up the floor has been rotting away.

I have a true loft style place, and my bedroom is actually elevated 4 ft. above the floor level with a 10ft. wall around it (total celings are 19ft). The bathroom is in the lofted area, so they have to tear out the ENTIRE floor of my bedroom, one of the closets and the bathroom just to fix one small piece. Good thing I don't have to pay for it, but it's a pain in the ass and everything in my house is either covered with sheets or covered in sawdust.

[PftLBritt]

Is this your house? Are these people related to you?

http://seriesonline.terra.com.br/arresteddev/arresteddev.jpg

[Zens7s]

Is this your house? Are these people related to you?

http://seriesonline.terra.com.br/arresteddev/arresteddev.jpg
Yes. I also have my father hiding out in the attic...

...

and I am a never-nude. ;)

[slizzelizzel]

and I am a never-nude. ;)

The most dissapointing thing I have ever heard.

[PftLBritt]

Yes. I also have my father hiding out in the attic...

...

and I am a never-nude. ;)
If only to see the cut-offs. ;)

[Jason_Brown]

Holes in the walls
Rodents in the attic
But, God help me,
WE HAVE CABLE!!!!

:D

[By-tor]

Holes in the walls
Rodents in the attic
But, God help me,
WE HAVE CABLE!!!!

:DAnd life goes on.

Congrats!