Entertain me!

[Zens7s]

So today I am accomplishing ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING. Our Novell network crashed, breaking my ability to get to email and anything but the web. So as a lucky member of the 8,000 out of 50,000 employees we have that can't do anything I deem this "Entertain Zen Day".

Tell me a story, or post me a fun picture. Ask me random questions and I will answer them. Post your biography in 500 words or less. It will be the most random of random threads that is completely Off-Topic...even for the Off-Topic.

Yippee!

[EternalStrife]

What is Literary Criticism?

[Zens7s]

What is Literary Criticism?
It is the written product created by a book critic, generally published in some sort of periodical.

Of course, by the mere fact that you asked I could be wrong. But that is what I think it is.

[Zens7s]

Here is REALLY random. Rick Moranis released a country album.

http://www.artistshare.com/artists/025/25/images/1994.gif

[Razorback]

I have a question....

Why?

Also, what are my chances?

[JK]

...Post your biography in 500 words or less... Yippee!

Born in California to fifth and third generation Texans, I grew up all over the Lone Star State- attending eighteen schools in 13 years. That was mostly after my parents divorced. Mom got custody and we moved... a lot. When I hit fourteen, I moved in with my dad and was able to attend the same high school for four years. It was after three months at Burger King and another two at Market Basket that I decided I hated working for other people, so I started my own business- $700 a month mowing grass. I would mow the small yards before school and do the big ones after.

You'd think my zeal for hard work would have been evident in school as well, but I was bored there- I managed to graduate in the top ten percent, somehow. I joined the Navy before my senior year and went active three weeks after graduation- studied Nuclear power in Florida, became a cop in Italy where I lost a girl to another... girl, among other things- Some of the best times of my life happened over there. Except when I blew out my knee while breaking up a bar fight in the bar some idiot decided to build under the Marine barracks.

I got a medical discharge, came home and moved in with my dad. Which was cool- we were both single and ran a swingin' bachelor pad- okay, not really- but he was dating a married woman (she was getting a divorce) I decided I needed to 'find myself' and went to Wisconsin- I smoked a lot of pot, ate a lot of cheese, and went to broadcasting school when I wasn't building electrical transformers. I also worked for a punk band named Hanging Thomas- founded by a Navy buddy's little brother. That went great until they decided to move to Colorado and that I could go to Hell.

So when I 'found myself' out of cash and friends, I moved back to Texas- got a job in a TV station as a production assistant and within a year worked my way up to primary master control operator. Got bored with that, became a news photographer and within six months I was threatening the chief photog's position. This is when I met Jen- she was the morning tape editor (then morning producer, then 6/10 producer) We shot a few short films, won an award for the first, then I got in a car crash and couldn't walk for amost six months. Eventually I went back to master control and wound up at Turner, where I haven't been able to move up at all...

This is of course the abridged version.



450 words? Doesn't even begin to tell the tale... Well, actually, that's pretty much it. Not very entertaining...

I can juggle...

[Zens7s]

I have a question....

Why?

Also, what are my chances?
A) Why not?

B) Fair to Middlin', or Fare to Midland [the latter maybe something geographically appropriate.

[Razorback]

I can make my biography even shorter:

Born in Iceland, saw Star Wars. Moved to the US. Dropped out of high school. Worked. Fell in love. Went to college. Worked. Love died. Layoffs. Graduated crappy college. Worked. Graduate school. Saw last Star Wars movie. Eventually died.

[Zens7s]

Born in California...

This is of course the abridged version.



450 words? Doesn't even begin to tell the tale... Well, actually, that's pretty much it. Not very entertaining...

I can juggle...See, that is pretty entertaining. I didn't know you went to Nuke School for the Navy. My dad did his Nuke training in Idaho...which I have always thought was a strange place to learn about such things. He ended up on a Nuke Sub until he retired. Again, a funny name for a sub...the U.S.S. Flasher.

I remember when you were moving to Atlanta, and were still working at the old place.

[Zens7s]

I can make my biography even shorter:

Born in Iceland, saw Star Wars. Moved to the US. Dropped out of high school. Worked. Fell in love. Went to college. Worked. Love died. Layoffs. Graduated crappy college. Worked. Graduate school. Saw last Star Wars movie. Eventually died.
I thought of you yesterday. The Dallas Symphony is doing Star Wars in February. They asked if I wanted the company box seats for any show this year. I saw that and blocked the date immediately. This caused a lot of broken hearts for the FIRST time ever because it will be the only time the thousand plus geeks that work on this campus alone would ever care about the D.S.O.

[BAMSS04]

An old man is lying on his deathbed with his children, grandchildren, and older great-grandchildren all around, teary-eyed at the approaching finale of a very long and productive life. The old man in is a terminal coma, and the doctors have confirmed that the waiting will be over within the next twenty-four hours. Suddenly, the old man opens his eyes and croaks: "I must be dreaming of heaven! I smell your grandmother's strudel!"

"No, grandfather, you are not dreaming. Grandmother is baking strudel now."

"I know I will never have another taste of her delicious strudel after this one. Could you please go down and get me a piece?", the old man begs with what is left of his final breath.

One of the grandchildren is immediately dispatched to honor the old man's last request. After a long time, he returns empty-handed.

"Did you bring me one last piece of your grandmother's delicious strudel?" the old man plaintively queries.

"I'm very sorry, grandfather, but she says it's for the funeral."

[BAMSS04]

I can make my biography even shorter:

Born in Iceland, saw Star Wars. Moved to the US. Dropped out of high school. Worked. Fell in love. Went to college. Worked. Love died. Layoffs. Graduated crappy college. Worked. Graduate school. Saw last Star Wars movie. Eventually died.


I have a question for you, if you don't mind. What do you do? I mean always figured it was something with computers. Close?

[Razorback]

I have a question for you, if you don't mind. What do you do? I mean always figured it was something with computers. Close?

Close. Though, I think my future is in project management.

[Robbo_the_Hood]

I have a question for you, if you don't mind. What do you do? I mean always figured it was something with computers. Close?I always figured he collected government disabilty checks. :D

[Zens7s]

I was born in Joliet on one of the hottest days in recorded Illinois history – 106 degrees. I grew up an only child, raised by two only children. When I was three my father retired from the Navy and took a job at a nuclear power plant. I was schooled and lived during the week in a town 1.5 hours from Chicago that had a population of 500 people. On the weekends we lived in a condo in the city, where the Chicago river splits.

I started playing the piano at 5, still play everyday, and thought at one point it would be my occupation. For 2 years of college it was.

I graduated from high school 1 year early, left for NIU at 17. Majored in Psychology and Biology, and was done at 20. While there I did many things I don’t remember, but thoroughly enjoyed. Alpha Delta Pi managed to not kick me out, even though I never followed any rules. My college boyfriend was a football player, in the time when the team was so bad he refused to tell people. One of my roommates from college was on NPR a few weeks ago, and he has released two CD’s…one has a very sad song written about me on it and one much happier.

I got my first real job at 20, post graduation, working for a large transportation company. I screwed around a lot, liked my boss, hated my job, and eventually quit. I got a different job as a corporate trainer for Microsoft Systems Engineers. I did that for 3 years, and met some of my best friends in the whole world.

Went to a hockey game one night at 22 with some girlfriends and a club representative invited me back to the visitor’s area to meet someone from the team. 3 years later I married the player who was asking for me. 1 ½ later we divorced.

I started my own consulting business at 23, gave it up for corporate life at 27 [where I am right now]. I traveled all over the country during that time, and I got to meet some amazing people and do some amazing things. I wouldn’t trade the experience.

In February of 04 I visited Texas. I never wanted to go home, so in May I just didn’t. I packed up all my things and moved. I now live in downtown Ft. Worth, above one of the most famous boot makers in the world. I run into a lot of famous Texans now, while getting my morning coffee. I am a Vice President of Operations for a Fortune 500 Company. I have a stressful job, but it’s worth every bit of the sacrifice.

At 28 I have a good life, a happy outlook, and aside from the occasional hiccups “life goes easy on me, most of the time”, as Damien Rice once said.

There, 467 words. It seems like it should take so much more.

[Zens7s]

Close. Though, I think my future is in project management.
My first REALLY big break was in IT project management. That is what I consulted in first. Also, if you are slightly ADD project management is ideal. It takes a midset that can really multitask.

[By-tor]

I was born a poor black child.....

[JK]

I've been to Joliet... I think.
I was working in Richmond when I lived up there.

I have an uncle who retired from submarine service- He did something with weapon systems... That's probably all I can say about that.;)


Texas has a way of gettin' in your blood, don't it?

[Zens7s]

I was born a poor black child.....
He was born in Oklahoma.
His wife's name is Betty Lou Thema Liz.
He's not responsible for what he's doin.
His mother made him who he is.

And it's...

[jjcourtright]

Born in Indiana, the Northwest...close to Chicago, but closer to Gary, IN - 10 miles or so. My dad was a carpenter and finding work was tough so my dad and a buddy planned on packing up the families and heading west. At the last minute the buddy bailed, but it was too late for us. The Courtrights moved to Colorado. I was 2. A month later, the bridge that my dad was building prior to the move collapsed during construction. Had we moved a month later, I probably would have been fatherless.

Colorado Springs has been my home for all but 6 months since...and I probably will never leave. I love it too much.

I had a fairly typical middle-class upbringing. We were probably poorer than most people that I went to school with, but my parents did their best to make it not too evident. During my public schooling career I attended 3 schools. One for elementary, one for junior high, one for high school. Immensly exciting, huh?

I was always one of the smart kids. I finished elementary school at the top of my class, third overall. After that, I started to care less. Junior high I probably finished in the top 15, high school in the top 30...but I guarantee that I had more fun then those who finished above me.

I was Senior Class President...though largely by default. (The runner-up for Student Body President became Senior Class President.) I was also runner-up for prom king. (You may want to ask Sheriff who prom king was.) I spent a good chunk of my senior year writing an "underground newspaper." Looking back on it, the writing was incredibly juvenile, but we thought we were sticking it to the man. The newspaper is partially to blame for my being suspended three times and then expelled during the second semester of my senior year.

Left Colorado Springs for the previously mentioned 6 months to go to college. Going to CU should have been great. It was me and 6 of my closest friends. I was miserable. It was the only time that I've felt depressed in my life. I couldn't stand my roommate. Our music styles clashed, our social styles clashed. I used to sleep in the lobby of our dorm rather than having to see him in order to sleep in my room. My dislike for him, coupled with my lack of money, sent me back down to the Springs after just one semester.

Once back here, I began dating the prom queen from our high school, who has since become my wife. I got my bachelors degree in Physics from CU - Colorado Springs...and couldn't find a good paying job with it. Having no other marketable skills, I decided to go back to school...in Physics. You would think that I would have learned my lesson. I'm currently taking the class that will finish off my masters degree.

I have 10 words left, I have two wonderful boys.

[freetoaster]

What's the first thing you do on getting home from work?

[By-tor]

He was born in Oklahoma.
His wife's name is Betty Lou Thema Liz.
He's not responsible for what he's doin.
His mother made him who he is.

And it's......up against the wall...

[freetoaster]

...Red Neck mother...

[Sheriff]

Hey Zens, what do you call a fish with no eyes?
FSSSSSH!!!

[Graceful17]

uhh... blind

[Zens7s]

Hey Zens, what do you call a fish with no eyes?
FSSSSSH!!!
Prom King?

Oh tell me you were Prom King. That is just too freakin' cute and I will NEVER stop giving you crap now!

Y'all got me beat. I was only runner up for Homecoming Queen in college. Runner up is the first loser, and then they drag you out during halftime to point out your inadaquacies. Sniff Sniff.

My next door neighbor was Miss Texas 1976, and 1st runner up for Miss America...the year that they got caught fixing the ballot for...Miss Colorado. Dun DUn Dunnnnn.

She was on the Johnny Carson show interviewed about the debacle. All this I learned over a beer the other night. For the record, she still looks pretty damn good for her age.

[Zens7s]

What's the first thing you do on getting home from work?
Throw the briefcase on the counter, take off my heels and suit jacket, and plop down on the couch to stare at the celing for 5 min. or so until I shake the Dallas to Ft. Worth commute out of my bones. Then it's usually a beer and dinner. What do you do?

[jjcourtright]

Prom King?

Oh tell me you were Prom King. That is just too freakin' cute and I will NEVER stop giving you crap now!Yep. If he makes it down when you are keg-er-ating, you will be in the midst of the Mitchell Class of 97 Prom King and Queen.

[Zens7s]

Yep. If he makes it down when you are keg-er-ating, you will be in the midst of the Mitchell Class of 97 Prom King and Queen.
Hey Sheriff, let it be said that if you don't make it down we are TOTALLY breaking up [dramatic pause] again. This will probably be the only time I will drive to Frisco, CO instead of fly.

And P.S. I am also bringing lots of Texas beer in the back of my pick-em-up truck.

[Zens7s]

...Red Neck mother...

...mother who has raised a son so well...

He's 34 and drinking in a honkytonk...

[BAMSS04]

I was born In Chicago. I did not stay there long because my parents were in the process of moving when I showed up. We moved to Memphis a month or so after I was born. My parents lived way , way outside of town the first year of my life, on a farm. We them moved into the city where I began school after another four years. I was a bad student. Not because I was dumb, merely because I hated being in school. I played hockey, football, and when I got to High School I wrestled. I was could not stand to sit still. I joined the theatre and film department in my High school, which was one of the top in the country. I began to excel very rapidly in acting and film. I was one of the departments biggest rising stars when I got caught skipping English class three straight weeks. I was kicked out of school the rest of the year. I dropped out after that, got my GED and scored high enough that I never regretted my decision to drop out. I scored high on my ACT so I went straight into University of Memphis. I started to study law, when my parents began to struggle financially, I had to drop out of school and move back in with them..... Finally, 5 years later, I have scraped enough money back together from working non-stop, that I am back in school studying law, as well as working 40-50 hours a week. ( that's the reason I am not here as much as I used to be by the way)

My love life has been strange for as long as I can remember. I am a very quiet , reserved person. I prolly come off a weird to most people because of my sense of humor, coupled with the fact that I am not much of a talker ( until you get to know me). I have had only 3 girlfriends. 1 that lasted longer than a month. Yeah, pathetic I know.

My family is even more strange. My brother Mark is one of the Top Security Engineers in the country. He is very successful and my parents are very proud, as am I. He has two little boys and they are being raised wonderfully by my sister in-law. My brother Adam dropped out of college because he just didn't feel like going, he and his girlfriend moved in with my parents and within a week or two he had knocked her up. They moved out after 6 months, had a wonderful little girl. Then he knocked her up again, and they had another little boy. Finally got married a year later. They have great kids but my brother and his wife are doing their best to fuck them up,(smoke pot in the car with them, drink and drive with them in the car, and fall asleep while watching them). Leaving myself and my parents to raise them.

Basically, that is my life. I work, go to school, raise my brothers kids, and do NOTHING else. Well, I drink. A lot.

There you go.








On another note, everyone should do one of these. I mean its great to find out all about everyone. I know so little about you people.

[Zens7s]

On another, note everyone should do one of these. I mean its great to find out all about everyone. I know so little about you people.It is funny how we don't really get the bigger picture, just snippets of information as time goes by.

The idea came from the beginning of Jimmy Buffett's book "A Pirate Looks At Fourty". He did his bio in 500 words or less. A friend of mine started us doing it. Even my best friend had things in his bio I didn't know.

[freetoaster]

...kickin hippies' asses and raisin hell.

I do just about the same as you, less the heels and suit jacket. I don't envy your drive.

When's the beer-bash?

[FanGirl]

Read my blog http://fangirlspeaks.blogs.friendster.com/my_blog/. I just did a 5 part series called "Old Lady Smackdown."

[Sheriff]

Zens,

Frisco huh? Going skiing? Don't worry about your trip out here, I have 4 days blocked off, 2 days for partying and 2 days for recovery. Speaking of which, I am off, in exactly 37 seconds, to ski in Crested Butte. So don't ask me anymore questions today cause you won't get an answer.

Oh, I know of something to keep you busy, well, if you like riddles:

You have 12 balls (insert joke here), all of identical size and shape, except one. It is unknown if it is heavier or lighter. You have a equal weight balance (the 2 tray type), in 3 measurements can you pick out the ball and tell me if it is heavier or lighter? If so, tell me how you did it.

[FanGirl]

"Love" Songs Replaced With Danny Glover. BY DONAVILLE HERRICK

Accidentally in Danny Glover
All You Need Is Danny Glover
Can't Buy Me Danny Glover
Danny Glover and Mercy
Danny Glover Shack
Danny Gloverfool
Everlasting Danny Glover
I Wanna Know What Danny Glover Is
Interstate Danny Glover Song
Like It, Danny Glover It, Need It
One Danny Glover, People Get Ready
Show You Danny Glover
Tainted Danny Glover
The Power of Danny Glover
You've Got to Hide Your Danny Glover Away

[slizzelizzel]

I was born at St. John's Hostpital in Detroit, Michigan. I've lived in the same house for my entire life, four blocks away from Lake St. Claire, and four houses away from my elementary school. My parents got divorced when I was very young, and had limited interactions with my father because of it. (And he's just a jackass) I have only met one of my 6 aunts and uncles on my mom's side, and used to know my fathers family, but havn't seen or heard from them in years.

After six solid years of perfect attendance (K-5), save one week in 4th grade where I had to go live with my dad, I went on to middle school, where I had very few friends, but did very well. High school came along, and I bought my first car from my brother, a 1976 Pontiac Firebird, which I spent the next four years restoring by myself from the ground up.

I held a job at Wan Kow Chop Suey for six years, from the end of 7th grade, to the end of the summer after Senior year, and miss it to this day.

After doing very well in High School without cracking a single book, I graduated Phi Beta Cappa with Top Honors, and was accepted at The Ohio State University's College of Food, Agriculture, and Environmental Sciences, with a major in Animal Sciences/ Pre-Vet, and was accepted into the Health Science Scholars program as well.

Coming from a high school where I never studied, college was a huge smack in the face. I had no study skills, and thought I could pass my classes just the same as I did in High School without doing any work. I spent my first quarter as a stone cold sober, straight-edged kid, and made many friends, some of which I intend to keep in touch with for the rest of my life.

One crappy quarter lead to another, but at least I could blame that, and the following two quarters on drinking, which I excelled in. I also started smoking, a habit that I hope to break before I've done it for a solid year.

Basically being kicked out of my house with no money or car (I still have the Firebird, but it's in too good of shape to drive in the winter, and the interior consists of a wheel, shifter, and seat right now.) over Christmas break of this year, I had no idea what the fuck I was going to do, but luckily, a family friend agreed to cosign on a loan for me, so I could come back.

Classes are going sweet, My friends are better than ever, the parties have been few but very fun, and I've got a great job as a Student Technical Assistant for the Horticulture and Crop Science department. This job has finally led me to decide to change my major to something computer-realted, and I'm leaning towards Computer Science & Engineering.



Oooooooh, 499, without trying!!

Seriously, I've left out many crazy times, and even more sad/shitty times, but everything is going great right now.

[phit_demon]

I prolly come off a weird to most people
I've always thought you were cool, and you like Tool which just confirmes it:)


Fair enough, I guess I'd better put it out there, but after reading some of the previous ones, I'm almost ashamed to cos it's so boring, but here goes:

I was born in Dublin on the morning of September 20th 1981.
When I was 6 months old my parents moved to a typical suburban town called Templeogue, and into a house right across the street from St. Mac Dara's Secondary School (I guess you guys would call it a "high school"), which is where I would eventually end up. I attended primary school (I don't know what you call the gap between kindergarten and high school..well I do, I just can't remember:o) a few mins drive away from my house, where my problems in school started. I was never good in school. I was pretty smart, but I was always more concerned with drawing, chatting, and generally being loud, annoying and occasionally funny(no change there then:))

My mother died from skin cancer in November 1987, when I was six, which didn't register much at the time, but in hindsight was probably the biggest single thing that shaped the way I am today. My dad raised me on his own, while still working full-time. He arranged it at work so that he would start ridiculously early and skip lunch hour so that he could be home by the time I finished school every day at 3:00pm to make my dinner, help with homework etc. I'm eternally grateful to him for this, and to this day he's probably my best friend in the world (although, he drives me insane in that way only a parent can;)).

In 1990, due to my shall we say dramatic nature, I started attending The Gaeity School of Acting on weekends(the same place Colin Farrell went to, but don't hold that against it). I absolutely loved it, and started getting involved in my primary school's drama society. I got a few lead and semi-lead parts, enjoyed every minute.

When I was eleven, while myself and my dad were on holidays in Spain. I started talking to a woman in the lobby of our apartment complex(in the way kids do without hesitation). My dad, who was looking for me, found me talking to her, and the two hit it off. Two years later they married (Hitch, eat your heart out!!) and she became my stepmother.

I started attending high school in 1994, right across the street, which was quite convenient. I didn't do much better there, but I did consistently do well in Art, History and English; and I met the close circle of friends that I still know and adore today (they gave me the stupid nickname that you see every day beside the bopping Artoo-Detoo, but that's a WHOLE other story). It's also the time in my life when I started to get obsessed by three things: Film (with Star Wars getting a special mention), Music and The Simpsons. I got suspended a bunch of times for being too chatty, inattentive, and completely apathetic to the academic process, but thankfully I never got expelled...Lord only knows why!!

My dad and my stepmother had one child, my little sister Nessa, whom I am completely in love with. She was born while I was on holiday in Texas with the scouts on July 12th 1998. She's my jewel, and she made my want my own kids some day, whereas before I used to think that I was "allergic to kids".

I did my final exams and finished high school in June 1999. After one of the best summer's of my life I went to college to study Drama and Theatre studies in Inchicore. It didn't really click with me as well as it had when I younger, and I packed it in after one semester. I got a job in a bank, where I worked for two years before realising I hated it. I quit and stupidly got an almost identical job in another office (fear that it was all I could do). where I worked for a further year and a half. It was during this time that my family moved to the south (the Texas if you will) of Ireland: County Cork and I moved into an apartment in Dublin City.

It took three-and-a-half years of shitty office work to realise that day jobs were not for me, and that although I no longer wanted to act (not full-time anyway), I still wanted to be involved in the film-making process. I went back to college to study Film Production in Ballyfermot college, which is where I still am to this day. I finish next year and I hope to move stateside and forge a career for myself...

Well, that's it, all the news that's fit to print. Who's next?

[ozchick]

Man, I wish I'd thought of doing one of these threads yesterday when I got all the way to work (75min drive) and realised I'd left my laptop home!!!

[acid_soda]

http://www.the-playground.com/graphics/headshots/303_Funny%20Sign.jpg
Be careful!

[BAMSS04]

I've always thought you were cool, and you like Tool which just confirmes it:)




Thanks buddy! You're cool too. That brings the grand total of people who think I am cool to 2. You and my neice ( she's 5, by this time next year that will change:)).

But really, I mean anyone that thinks TOOL sucks, should and will be shot.

http://undertow_2.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/band_12.jpg

[Razorback]

My first REALLY big break was in IT project management. That is what I consulted in first. Also, if you are slightly ADD project management is ideal. It takes a midset that can really multitask.

I am just a genius... no ADD. :) I love to multi-task. In fact, if I am not multi-tasking I get bored and start to fuck up.

[marksiwel]

Born in Irving, was very sick my first couple of years of life. Moved to Coppell when I was 8. Blah Student B's C's. Met the love of my life in High School. Didnt play sports, or do much of anything school related. Got a job at a movie theater, did that for 3 long years. Finished High School. Girlfriend moved to Austin to go to UT. Went to a Community College for alittle while, hated it. Somewhere in this time I asked my girl to marry me and got a job at petsmart. Did some training became a dog groomer, dont know why, waiting to see where my girl is going to finish school, may get married this summer :eek: Need to go back to school, but to do what?

I think that thats less then 500
My life looks sad in text.

[phit_demon]

anyone that thinks TOOL sucks, should and will be shot.

God willing, BAMSS, God willing...;)

[BAMSS04]

I often refer to my shotgun as god, but people tend to think that is weird. :)

[phit_demon]

I often refer to my shotgun as god, but people tend to think that is weird. :)
Nothing weird about that, 30/30 called his Sara-Jane for christ's sake!;)
http://www.serienoldies.de/images4/bravestarr_thirty.jpg

[JK]

Nothing weird about that, 30/30 called his Sara-Jane for christ's sake!;)
http://www.serienoldies.de/images4/bravestarr_thirty.jpg

Is that a cybernetic donkey with a mullet?

[phit_demon]

Is that a cybernetic donkey with a mullet?
Not a cybernetic donkey with a mullet, the cybernetic donkey with a mullet:
http://www.nocillatv.com/nocilla/B/bravestar/brave1.jpg http://www.nocillatv.com/nocilla/B/bravestar/brave4.jpg
http://q-link.cc/commodore/graphics/multicolor/gg30-30bravestar.gif

[By-tor]

Alright, I'll give it a go. I'm freakin' ancient compared to you twenty-somethings. I'll condense as much as I can.

Born and raised in Waco, TX. except for kindergarten and first grade in Oklahoma City.

Back in Waco, transferred into the 5th grade(or form, as you bashturds across the pond call it) to the school I graduated from, after "busing" started back in the mid-70's. Two years later the girl I would marry 7 years later transferred into the our school from Richardson, TX.

Played football, baseball, and ran track through-out high school. It's amazing what kinda shit you can get away with, when you make straight A's, and are an athlete. Our school had a dress/hair code that was Victorian. It wasn't even a private school. But, I never caught any shit from the teachers.

Got turned on to KISS by a buddy in 9th grade. My Dad took me and 3 other guys to my first show(KISS/Styx) in 1977. I came back from the show, bought a bass the next weekend, and have been playing every since.

Started dating my wife our Junior year. Broke up with her in the middle of our Senior year(told her I was too busy being in a band, and playing football). By the end of our Senior year, we were back together.

As my wife entered her first year at Baylor, and I got my crappy "Top 10 %" scholarship at the local community college, she was informed by her father that he was having an affair with a girl half his age. She happened to be my wife's "big sister" at college. God, the drama. Get this. My wife's dad and the "big sister" got married a few years later, and my wife now has a brother in 7th grade.

Anyway, instead of us shacking up while the divorce ensued, we got hitched. I was 19, she was 18. We were both working at the same "Chili's"-type food joint(J.T. McCord's. Zens, the first one was in Addison). Two years later school was gone. Money talks...

As I moved from busboy, to cook, to bartender, to kitchen manager, my wife became head waitress(please make a joke).

Fast forward to 1984. My son is born. 1987, the daughter.

When the wife got preggers, I joined my family's printing/office supply(job security). After 6 months she joined the company. We have have worked together(except for 6 months) since before we were married.

Damn, man, condensed my ass.

Okay, mid-90's my band opened for some lower tier(Tesla, Great White, Dangerous Toys) bands. Means dick to alot of ya'll, but back then it was cool.

Both kids went to tons of concerts with us. Motley Crue, Metallica, Guns and Roses, Robert Plant, Aerosmith, The Chili Peppers, Pantera, etc, ad nauseum.

Kids grow up, I get grey(been coloring my hair for 8 years), and now I'm playing in a band with my daughter's boyfriend, who I share the same name with(my daughter's middle name, also). What a cluster.

Celebrate my 25th wedding anniversary on May 30th.

But, here's a really cool date. June 10th 2005. I joined the 'shoot.

Sorry for the long-windedness. Thank you for your time. :o

[phit_demon]

By-tor ...I love you too much to read your biog while drunk. So I'm gonna read this properly "isteach sa maidin" (irish for "in the morning").
I'll give you a proper reply tomorrow morning.
But rest assured, you rule...and I love you to death:)

[BAMSS04]

Wow, you and your wife have been working together, sleeping together, and raising a family together for 25 years. Wow, that is impressive sir, and I mean that. I honestly never figured you for that old, by your sense of humor. Not to say that you act like a kid or anything, but you are much more relaxed than others in your generation. I mean that in a good way. :)


Bravo!!

Who is next?

[phit_demon]

transferred into the 5th grade(or form, as you bashturds across the pond call it)
Actually, we call it "class".;)
Cool biog dude, just finished reading it. Sooooooooooooooooooo, hung over.

[JaimePaulFalcon]

wow by-tor's son and i are the same age wait and his daughter and my sister are the same age

[By-tor]

wow by-tor's son and i are the same ageYep, he made it to legal drinking age just last month. In fact my wife and I had a few beers with him,and his guitar player, at the bar last nite. My, how time flys.

[By-tor]

Wow, you and your wife have been working together, sleeping together, and raising a family together for 25 years. Wow, that is impressive sir, and I mean that. I honestly never figured you for that old, by your sense of humor. Not to say that you act like a kid or anything, but you are much more relaxed than others in your generation. I mean that in a good way. :)


Bravo!!

Who is next?Thanks for the props, Bams. Marrying a "friend" you met in school made it alot easier for us, I think. Maybe playing in bands, that always covered the "newest" rock songs, has kept me "younger" than most of my 40-something brethren. I mean my kids, and I, listen to the same music. If music had never entered my life, I would have already been sent out to pasture.

Okay, like Bams said, who's next?
Don't be a chicken, McFly. ;)

[ozchick]

Nobody calls me chicken!

I was born on 1 June 1977 to my mum (a nurse) and my dad (a pain in the arse) in Bentley, Western Australia. For the first 2 years of my life we lived in Thornlie, then moved to Hamilton Hill which was my home for the next 24 years on and off. When I was 3, my sister Lisa was born and when I was 4, my sister Kelly was born. Through my younger years, I felt that my dad was pretty disappointed that he didn't have a son and so forced me to do crappy sports at which I was crappy. So I did Little Athletics where I was so crap that when I was 11ish I got the "try-hard" award for the entire district. Then he made me take golf lessons where I was the only girl and hated golf with a fiery passion (still do - it's as boring as bat shit).

Anyhoo, I got to age 14 and mum informed me to pack our bags coz she was going to ask Dad to leave and there was every probability that he'd crack the shits and kick us out. He didn't and left fairly quietly, albeit with a bit of "I'm going to set the house on fire if you don't take me back", forcing my mum to take out a restraining order. So things between me and my dad were fairly tenuous after that.

I got through the first 3 years of high school fairly easily with mostly A's and some B's. Which led me to decide to take all the hard units in Years 11 and 12 which lead me to my first F in physics. I completely bombed out in my TEE (equivalent of your SATs?) and didn't get into University. Not that I had any clue about what I wanted to do there anyway. I decided to go to TAFE (like community college?) and did an Advanced Diploma of Accounting where I had good times and met some good people. During this time I worked part-time at several video shops, building my love of films.

After I finished my diploma, I sat the Government Clerical placement test and kicked arse except for one - Yep I almost failed the personality/psyche test!!!! My dad's new wife worked for the Health Department and they needed a secretary for 3 months. So I did that and found out that although I make an excellent secretary, I hate it with every fibre of my being and would rather eat rotting flesh than have to do it again.

I went back to TAFE and started a Management diploma. About 6 months into it I got a call from the Govt Clerical placement people offering me a month's accounts work over the end of financial year at the Department of Conservation & Land Management (CALM). I took it, and that month lead to 3 months and my contract kept getting extended for two years until they finally made me permanent. By this time I was already acting Level 2 Budget Officer. Around this time I moved out of home for the first time. Lived by myself for 18 months and then got sick and tired of having my dad rocking up at my front door, wanting bonding time, plus my mum wasn't well, so I returned home. We found out not long after that (Sept 11, 2001 to be precise) that my mum had a brain tumour (which was successfully removed), but which has caused her eyesight to deteriorate to the extent where she's legally blind.

Anyway, I got offered a job as a Level 3 at the FPC (different Gov't dept) which I told my bosses about and they quickly created a new Level 3 Project Officer position within the Budgeting & Reporting section, which I applied for and got (along with an office).

I applied to Murdoch University in 2001 and was accepted as a mature age (egads! :eek: ) part-time student. I worked happily whilst studying for a double degree (Bachelor of Commerce [Professional Accounting] and Bachelor of Arts [Media Analysis]). Started to get bored and cranky in mid 2002-2003 and decided I wanted a break. I talked my sister Kelly into coming with me on my Round the World (not really, spent 1 month in UK, 2 days in Paris, and 3 months in USA) odyssey in October 2003, taking 4 months leave from work. When I got back I realised nothing had changed and I was still bored. I applied for 2 jobs. One was for the Finance & Admin Coordinator role in CALM's Perth Hills District. (Basically in the bush) In April 2004 I moved to my current residence in South Perth (a very posh and richie suburb) where I live in a tiny apartment!!! I found out I got the Perth Hills job. I toyed whether or not I really wanted to go there and give up my cushy albeit boring job, but they threw in a govt car and that was that. It's been bloody difficult and I've wanted to throw it in on a number of occassions, but I like the excitement and challenges (and $$$) that comes with the Fire Control aspect (even if it means I have to work weekends like now - 6pm on a sunday!!!).

That said, the travel is weighing on me (takes 40mins to get to Mundaring 3 days a week and 75 mins to get to Dwellingup 2 days a week) and my uni work is suffering - this year I've dropped down to 1 unit per semester instead of my usual 2. Still have 5 units to go till I've finished.

So that's me up to date. In a nutshell, 28, single, 0 kids.

Geez sorry to bore you all with that!!!

[TLS]

Ooo, nice Bio's everyone. :)

Mine wouldn't be good to share nor would it be nice to read, so I'll keep it short and skip to the now... I'm still alive and in search for a mark and a place to leave it.

[Razorback]

Geez sorry to bore you all with that!!!

There was nothing boring about that. Thanks for sharing.

[ILovePapaSmurf]

My parents Latese and Sperm Donor #8737 met while he was working at a hospital caring for the sick. They married a few years later and I was conceived in the back of a Toyta truck. I was born July 3rd, 1983 at CHOC Hospital (Children's Hospital of Orange County) to my parents and we moved into a small apartment in Garden Grove. Shortly after, we moved to another apartment in Garden Grove closer to my father's family.

At the age if 8 months, I was involved in my first accident. I was sleeping in the backseat of the car and a drunk driver crashed into the back of my parent's car. Since then, I've always had trouble sleeping at night.

When I was two years old, my brother was born and became "Enemy No. 1." At that time, I considered him to be a liability because he was now the new baby of the family and decided at the age of two months to show him the "hard knocks" of life by kicking him in the head. He cried... I smiled and was sent to the corner.

Growing up, I was Daddy's Little Girl and wanted him to comfort me and take care of me, and since my father loved the night life (and loved to sleep with other women) it was hard for me to function as a child. I always was so used to my father singing me to sleep and the nights he did not come home, I would cry so loudly, I used to have the cops called on me. The cops would then come to my house and put me fast to sleep, but it didn't last.

Tired of my father never coming home at night and sleeping with other women, my mother filed for divorce when I was six years old. They went to the courthouse together, left together and even rode the same car home.

The only memories that I have of my father are of him taking me to Chuck E. Cheeses' and one night when he came to my house in Staton to try to kidnapp my brother and I when he was drunk. To avoid paying child support, he moved back to Mexico and has never returned to see me, my brother and my step-brother who is only a couple months younger than my brother... and I've never met him.

To avoid him finding me and to start a new life without the trouble, my mother received the opportunity to move to San Bernardino, where I left my friends and the memories of Evans Elementary School behind. I began to attend Golden Valley Middle School and made a couple friends and was teased on a regular basis. Without the guidance and support of one teacher, Mr. Brown, I don't think I would have lasted there. He influenced me to get involved with the Black History Bee committee and learn more about my Hispanic culture. I was garnished with a trophy as a winner of the National Geographic Bee and was teased everyday because of that.

In 1999, I began to attend San Bernardino High School, where I was told by one of my teachers that I would not adapt to anything in life... I proved her wrong and graduated from SBHS in 2001.

Shortly after graduation, I received the opportunity to work for Lite 92.7 FM's morning show where I was employed as a News Assistant/Producer for 6 months until the station's untimely closing.

I began working to a local community newspaper later that same year, and just recently left due to the stress of the job and the constant let-downs by my employeer. Currently, I am working for a daily newspaper writing obits, but hopefilly, not for long.

Other notable tidbits are that I am the only person I know who has been suspended from Kindergarten for throwing a chair at a sub. teacher (that's what she gets for trying to put to sleep) and I've won "Gamesroom Person of the Month" five times in a row when I attended the Boy's and Girls Club, however, it would have been six if I didn't beat the living crap out of a girl who was trying to start stuff with my brother. I was diagnosed with ADHD shortly after the chair throwing incident and was place on Ritalin for two years until my mother discovered the evils of it. My best friend Alex was born on the same day and year as I was (except she is older as she was born in the morning... me, at night). And I named my first pet 'Jem' after Jem and the Holograms. I like to collect anything Disney, Eeyore and I dream about boys, boys, boys!

And, that, my friends is me in a nutshell... a very long nutshell. If it sucks, oh well!

[karmattack]

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where she selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee,
And a 1 lb. package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct, but how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly "

[Dave]

That's a true story....

[karmattack]

Leave your mom out of this.



OOOOOOOOOH! Just when you think a joke is old.........BAM! It's so good again.

[Sheriff]

Genius!

That worked so well when coupled with your avatars.

[phit_demon]

I thought this thread could do with a bump.
Any newbs care to add to the list?

[Antonio_Bay]

Man, reading all the above biographies, my life appears incredibly lacklustre in comparison, but here goes:

Okay dokey; I was born on 16th December 1980, coincidently also on my fathers birthday. I have an awesome younger brother and a miserable father who I tolerate only because he is married to my wonderful mum!

I grew up on a heavy dose of comic books and way too many movies, which would come a lot stronger into play later in my life. Looking back also, I was quite the trekker, or is it trekky? :confused: It’s been awhile.

So nothing much happened in my junior/senior school years. I went to my classes, did my homework; nothing eventful happened. I guess, in retrospect, I certainly wasn’t a cool or un-cool kid, I kind of moved in a circle of friends that were just there, but unconcerned with all the break time gossip and events. We kind of did our own thing, making no impact on anything anywhere. During my sixth form years I studied Graphics Design, which was absolutely brilliant, basing my full two year project on comic books. After that I took, what many of us call ‘a year out’ = translated; lay about, play Mario and perhaps leave the house once every month. ;)

Decided to go to college. Whilst I was in the local library studying different prospectuses, one freakily fell on the floor, displaying a Multimedia course. That was the college and course I ended up going for. Four trains each day – I enjoyed the travelling. Met a great group of people at college. Earned a diploma, then went on to receive a degree. Did my dissertation again on comic books and that industry.

Always had a dream to get a gig drawing comics so spent a year out, amongst other things, submitting pencilled artwork samples to comic publishers. Got close with 2000AD (if you’ve heard of it) but messed it up. I occasionally sit down to try again. It’s hard finding the time.

Haven’t met the love of my life yet. Dismal, I know!

I currently work part time at a local school; am the designer at a local printers and work as a web designer – a mixed bag of jobs I know, but I gotta pay the bills!

Nothing exciting has happened lately, except, I have a client who has an office situated at Pinewood Studios, whom I manage their site, do the odd story board for, etc. Lately, I’ve had the pleasure of going there a few times, which, being a huge film fan, transforms me into this wide-eyed, totally overwhelmed 26 year old, hoping to meet the likes of Spielberg/Burton (whose currently filming Sweeney Todd there) on his travels. I also hope to meet P.W.S Anderson one day, so I can give him a piece of my mind! *angrily shakes both fists* :)

So, like I said, an uneventful life so far. When I achieve my targets: raise a family, go tornado chasing, write up a novel, and for my retirement open up a small, stuffy, comic shop where I’ll play catch-up with 30 years of back issues, I’ll add to this thread for a more exciting read! Thanks for reading though. :)

[phit_demon]

I also hope to meet P.W.S Anderson one day, so I can give him a piece of my mind!
Why, don't you like Event Horizon? :eek: