How????

[jonmarbles]

How do you tell one of your best friends that you are in love with them without jepordizing the friendship?

[TLS]

Just put your arm around em and say, "Dude, I really love ya man."
(But get really drunk first or else it won't work.) /forums/images/icons/wink.gif

[jonmarbles]

That might work but replace dude with woman. Sorry I don't swing that way....my ass is EXIT ONLY.

[Dave]

Well here's the thing. You can't. It's the risk you have to take for love, man. Jump in the pool and do it!

[Robbo_the_Hood]

Yeah, but it's only gay if you're on bottom. So feel free to tell your best friend how you feel about him.

But you might want to ask him if he likes being called the woman in the first place.

[jonmarbles]

Well what if it kills the friendship. She is married after all but her husband is a prick and I think he is trying to come out of the closet.

[airionnablue]

My boyfriend was my best friend for awhile and he was also my boss.. and married.. I knoew his relationship was shit because he told me everything. I didn't tell him that I loved him until after they got divorced and then we started dating and even then I waited three months. And then he told me that he loves me as well and he also told me that he had wanted me since the first day he started working at my store.... It was still very hard. Wait until the right moment. You'll know when it is...


Love is sneaky..

[Omaru]

Get a gay friend to come onto him, then when they end up in bed together, take a few kodak moments and post them to her anonymously, if that was in south park or some soap, it'd be bound to work.

[jonmarbles]

I like your idea. Whats your friend's address and does he like Pink Champaigne...sp? Im sure I killed that one.

[Efexeye]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
How do you tell one of your best friends that you are in love with them without jepordizing the friendship?



[/ QUOTE ]

You don't- it's impossible. Trust me- it'll never be the same once THAT cat is out of the bag....

[Razorback]

You will only jeapordize the friendship if she isn't into you. The fact that you are her friend, if she is not in a current relationship, means she isn't into you.

So, you are screwed.

[Matthew]

You have to decide which is more important, a relationship with her or a friendship with her. Right now your best card to play is to be the listener, let her keep opening her heart up. Be patient, cause if this guy is as mean and homosexual as you say, eventually something will happen. Then you can come and claim your prize!

Similar to what happened with a-i-r-i-o-n-n-a (I think I spelled it right that time.)

[jonmarbles]

Well she doesn't think he is a prick those were my words, but from my point of view he is way controlling of her. I know it isn't because I love her that I think he is, even her sister, another friend of mine, sees it also. He gets jealous when ever we go out say to a bar or for lunch. As for him being gay...those were my words too. I don't know if he is. Maybe he is just one of those really femmie guys that when they talk they just sound gay.

[Threadkiller]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
She is married

[/ QUOTE ] Give it up. It's ever a good idea to try and start something with a married person. Her husband may be a prick but she married him. I can't think of a single real example where something like that worked out in the end and I can think of plenty of examples where it messed everything up real good.

[Razorback]

Word. Plus, if you get someone to leave someone else for you then it will always be in the back of your mind that they might leave you for someone better. BBD.

[karmattack]

I gotta say...the more this unfolds, the more I think you're cultivating a not-so-good situation. Aside from what has already been said, I have to point out that you're holding it against the husband that he's jealous...even though you're describing in detail here the fact that you want to steal away his wife? One or both of those things has to stop, man, especially if you want to stay friends with this girl.

If you actually, successfully come between them, you won't have a relationship with her -- too much "questionable" action (leading to what RB said, or something similar). There's something about her situation that's working for her. Maybe you should be honest with yourself; if she wanted ice-cream, she'd go get some ice-cream....if she wanted to be with you, she'd make that happen too. If it's really what's best for you two, I sincerely hope it develops naturally.

[Matthew]

You know, you have a very good point there Karma.

They are married, and since you told me she doesn't think him mean and a jerk, then the problem in my opinion lies in you.

If he has not hit her, or belittled her, then the problem is you. He is a husband, he is supposed to be jealous and protetive of his wife, just like she should be jealous and protective of him.

Unless this marriage is bad, physical abuse, infidelity, and the like, you need to stay away and stop trying to break it up. If you don't, nothing good will happen from it, and all that will be left is heartache, a broken marriage, and possibly a roll or 2 in the sack for you.

[DangerSeeker]

Karma nailed it.

I'll add something else to consider. You say you love her, but if you loved her you'd really know her and how her mind works, what she feels, and why she does what she does. That deeper trust and understanding is a major part of real love.

That being said, you can't see and understand what she sees in her husband, so there's at least one major part of her you haven't opened up to. Also, you don't feel comfortable enough around her to discuss your feelings. Quite simply, you're infatuated with her. Doesn't make it hurt less, but I don't think it's love. When you experience real love someday, mutual love, you'll see it a little better.

My advice, look at her like a sister. You can still care for her, hang out, and it'll take off the pressure you're putting on yourself. Try and get her to set you up with someone. Get to know her husband. Build the friendship. The relationship right now isn't there, and frankly if you're thinking of breaking up her marriage, neither is the friendship.