Now, thats gotta hurt!!

[BAMSS04]

So I thought I would fill all of my friends here in on a few things that happend last night. Thought we could make a topic out of it.

I was working last night at one of my stores and desided to get up on a ladder to put a box up high on a shelf. I get about ten feet up in the air and out of no where the forklift plows into the ladder (the guy driving was drunk)...I fly off the damn thing and break my wrist and three ribs. I am taking really really good pain medication though, so as of right know I am good. Typing one handed sucks but its cool, I 'll get faster at it.

So, I would just love to hear your injury stories. Tell me about them. Oh, and for the next ten days I am out of work so...You'll see a lot more of me around here.

So yeah, lets hear it. I'm sure there are others who have been hit by drunk forklift drivers, or something?

[freetoaster]

I havn't really been hurt on the job, but I have pulled a boner or two. I used to make donuts, as a teenager, on the graveyard shift. Once I finished taking a "hit" off a Dr. Pepper can bong, in the back room, to walk out into a counter full of hungry police officers. I guess they were so focused on DONUTS that the reek-of-me never soaked in. It didn't hurt, but I was one scared little turd.

[bwdial]

I have had a lot of concussions. When I was 6 or so, I poured shampoo all over the floor of the shower and started "skating". Hit my head on the corner. I had multiple concussions playing football. I fell off the hood of a car during a fraternity prank and spent the night in the student health center...with, you guessed it, a concussion.
Have I mentioned that I've had a lot of concussions? /forums/images/icons/smirk.gif
A friend of mine was working at a place that sold soap for carwashes and one of the guys he worked with would bust open 55 gallons drums of soap on purpose so he could do donuts in the forklift. He put it into the loading bay...when the garage door was closed. Whoopsie.

[Matt1]

Sorry to hear about your injuries.

When I was in the fifth grade, there was this empty field by my house that my friend and I turned it into a course to ride our bikes on. One of the jumps we constructed involved jumping your bike over a massive five-foot deep hole we dug. Unfortunately on one of my passes, I failed to gain the momentum necessary to clear the hole. Front tire went in the hole, I flew over my handlebars, hit the ground wrist and chin first and proceeded to slide for about six or so feet. I had a few hairline fractures in my left wrist and forearm.

Immediately after it happened, my friend came up to me and said, "Hey, at least you cleared the jump." I cursed him and felt a little better.

[ILovePapaSmurf]

<font color="purple">So far, no work related injuries. All my injuries occured in my home.

The top three Smurfy injuries are:

3. While jumping on the bed with my baby brother, I hit the side of my head on the side of the dresser. The scar still shows.

2. While my mother was rolling up the power windows in the car, I held onto the window of the driverside door while grabbing something in the back and it smashed my ring finger. Scar still shows.

1. I tore a ligament in my right ankle while carrying a basket of laundry. Til this day, my right ankle is looks swollen and now I have a phobia of laundry baskets.</font color>

[JK]

I used to be a news photog back in Texas- back on September 14th, I was out shooting some video of some brain-dead redneck's solution to terrorism. I got back in the news unit- a Ford Focus wagon, and pulled out onto the roadway. Traffic stopped on the feeder road, so I was sitting there when the lady behind me drove into my ass doing 50 miles an hour- never hit the brakes... It wouldn't have been that bad, but I was leaned forward, picking a tape up off the floorboard on the passenger side. When I slammed into the seat, I broke the frame about six inches above the hinges. Lots of good drugs and nine months of therapy later I was finally able to walk again without searing, stabbing pain in my back. And since it was on the job- I got f*cked hard by Worker's Comp and my employer. I hope you do better!

[Razorback]

I broke my ankle at work once... ended up with a permanent disability. Did lots of tendon damage. Happened when I stepped into a hole in the ground. Fun.

[Threadkiller]

A hole. Damn. Seems like the worst injuries usually have the simplest explanations. My friend fell while climbing a tree when he was 10 and is partially paralyzed.

I've never broken anything but have been knocked out a couple of times and have about 50 stitches in my head in various places. Snowtube collisions and indoor rough-housing are the causes.

[Razorback]

I worked for a few hours with a broken leg too... ran around for a good 30 minutes on it before the pain became really bad and I had to limp.

Called in the next day saying I was going to be out a few days. Seven months later...

[bwdial]

I forgot about this, semi-work related (I was mowing the yard) injury. While attempting to crank the Lawn Boy, I managed to stick my hand on the top of the chain link fence. Right between the middle and ring finger on my right hand. I was barely able to get it un-stuck with out help.
And, tied for most bizarre reason for a trip to the ER:
-I got hit in the chin with a golf club.
-I knocked over a bottle of RC Cola (the old 32oz. glass bottle) while rummaging through the freezer (apparently looking for a frozen Moon Pie) and the bottle exploded. Put a nice chunk of glass in my right knee. I have a big ol' nasty keloid scar from that because, even though I kept complaining that it felt like it wasn't healing, my dad insisted on taking the stitches out. Thanks Pops.

[TLS]

Ouch! All of those stories make me feel kinda fortunate that I've never had those type of injuries. I cringe just reading about broken bones and that kind of stuff. Hell, I'm hardly ever sick, when I am it's less than a day or two. I've been in a fair share of fights though. Not by my choice, apparently I've been an easy target. Only one of them ended with me in the emergency room (and it's true, that if you're bleeding to death they still make you wait).
Well, here's the story. It may be a little graphic so don't read it if it's too gory.

I literally didn't see it coming. I was dating/living with an ill-tempered dick (and that's being nice). Him, his friend and myself were all just sitting on the couch. While he was facing his friend and talking to him, out of know where (and to this day I still don't really know why) he swings his elbow into my face, right between the eyes. On purpose! Then he got all pissed off and started breaking stuff because I was bleeding and he thought I would tell the police. Him and his friend were discussing what to do. The jerk wanted to leave me there to bleed to death. I had blood in my eyes and couldn't see very well, so his friend called him nuts and helped me walk to the hospital (none of us had cars then and the hospital was just around the corner). I ended up with 8 stitches, luckily the scar healed well and isn't really noticeable.

[bwdial]

Holy shiznit. I want to give you an asexual, completely plutonic hug after reading that. Guys like that deserve a beating with a lead pipe.

[TLS]

Thanks. Yeah, that's when I realized that whole bad-guy thing, isn't for me. /forums/images/icons/smile.gif

[Jason_Brown]

Plutonic?

http://disney.go.com/characters/activities/facts/pluto/pluto_facts.gif

[EternalStrife]

The closest thing I have to any kind of memorable injuries is the two scars I have when I bloody near sliced off my left index finger while sawing wood way back then in primary school.

[TLS]

Ouch! /forums/images/icons/frown.gif I'll probably regret asking this, but how'd you end up with 2 scars?

[DarthMaulRat]

From what I hear, most middle school/ junior highs don't even offer wood or metal shop anymore. It's a damn shame.

I haven't ever had any real bad work related accidents, but back when I worked for a township I accidentally weed whacked through an entire patch of poison ivy. I was covered in plant juice from head to toe and in the next two days my skin turned into a mass of weeping sores. I had to work covered in calamine solution, so I looked like a pink flakey goosebump. This was three years ago during the hottest recorded summer in local history (average high one week was about 103 degrees), but from then on I wore long pants and long sleeve shirts to work. And I paid much closer attention to everything I weed whacked.

[jjcourtright]

I put a nail clean through my left palm, age 8.

I got a concussion slipping on some ice(and with a little push from one of my best friends) on the playground, age 10.

I cut up my knee on some asphalt while falling off my bike, age 12. Still have an ugly scar. "Get my mom, get my dad, get anybody," I said.

Broke my left arm slipping on gravel-strewn asphalt while playing football, age 14.

Might have re-broke that arm rollerblading while expelled from school, age 17.

Broke the pinky on my left hand by taking a softball pitch right on the end of it, age 18. Dislocated the pinky, too, so I had two bones in my skin where I usually have one. Looked like my pinky was really short, and fat. It's crooked still, and hurts when the weather changes.

Major accident free since 1998.

[crosses fingers]

[Razorback]

There is bad-boy and then there is bad-guy... that dude was a very bad-guy.

I am glad you got away.

[TLS]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
I am glad you got away.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks, me too. /forums/images/icons/wink.gif

[Jason_Brown]

Alright. Here goes. This is pretty gross.

When I was about eight years old, I had a beloved Scottie named "Bingo". (I named him after the dog in an episode of "Marcus Welby, M.D.", not after the song.)

One day, Bingo bolted out of our front-door, hell-bent on kicking the ass of another dog he had spotted, outside. I ran after Bingo, hoping to stop the conflict. Unfortunately, Bingo was in "crazy fight mode". As I reached for him, he whirled, and snapped at my face.

He bit my left eye-lid, in-half.

Miraculously, he missed my eye (I guess the eyelid was doing its job), and everything was fixed at the hospital. Bingo and I remained the best of buddies, until his eventual demise, from natural causes, when I was in high school.

The End.

[DangerSeeker]

I'm apparently very accident prone.

Broke my arm when I was 4. A chair fell on it and broke the bone in several places.

Lost an eardrum going off the rope swing at the quarry.

Concussions? I probably would be banned from the NFL I've had so many.

I've had bee wings, sawdust, random chemicals, and who knows what stuck in my eye.

I put an icepck through the knuckle of my left index finger trying to do Bishop's knife trick.

I've rolled a car, but didn't actually get hurt on that one. I did get thrown from the hood of a moving car, though.

Been electrocuted to varying degrees a couple times.

There's plenty more. I bet this explains the name DangerSeeker a little. That, or GoodJudgementAvoider.

[jjcourtright]

I forgot, I came within a millimeter or so of biting off my tongue, age 12. I was chicken-fighting with a friend, I lost, fell 4 feet, and ended up hitting my chin with my knee. Damn youse Michael Jordan.

[FanGirl]

Let's see...most of mine are medical, but accidents...

Waterslides are evil. They have tried to kill me twice. The first time was when I was 4. I was riding down the slide on my dad's lap and hit my head on the side of the slide and blacked out as I hit the end pool. My mom snapped a picture of us a second before I hit my head.

They convinced me to try waterslides again when I was 10. I had a strappy-back swimsuit which got caught on the edge of the slide preventing me from getting my head above water. Thankfully the next person knocked me loose by landing on me and causing me to scrape my chin on the bottom of the pool.

I will not give them another chance to kill me.

I've been knocked unconscious 3 times total. Sprained both wrists and ankles. 7 stitches from shoving a piece of paper in the trash and catching it on a broken glass. TONS of bicycle accidents. But medically speaking, it would take me days to list everything.

[Mighty_Wingman]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Lost an eardrum going off the rope swing at the quarry.

[/ QUOTE ]
I'd like to hear more about that.

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
I put an icepck through the knuckle of my left index finger trying to do Bishop's knife trick.

[/ QUOTE ]
I did it with a Swiss army knife, missed the bone, still have a scar. That corkscrew hurts alot more than you think it will.

[DangerSeeker]

So would I! Zing! Ahhhh, hearing humor...

It was a pretty big drop, especially when I let go at the top of the swing, getting some extra arc up. Came down all funny, side of my head first. The rest of my side hit pretty hard, loud enough and strange enough to gather the attention of a lot of people.

My left side pretty much shut down for a moment. Couldn't move it, couldn't feel it. I didn't know how deep I was, so I tried using my right arm to swim back up. I started to get a little movement out of my left side and just broke the surface right as I needed air bad enough my lungs were spasming, ready to suck in some quarry water.

When I popped out, pretty much all activity had stopped. Everyone was staring, waiting for me to come up. Three lifeguards were at the egde of the water. They asked if I needed help, and stupid pride made me turn them down. I struggled my way over, got a towel, and went to the first aid station.

My hearing was murky in both ears because of the water, so we didn't think anything of it. They made sure I was basically okay, told me to check in if there were any problems, and sent me on my way. Later that day it started to sting a little. The common theory was swimmer's ear (quarries aren't the cleanest water around) and they told me what to do.

On the way home, it felt like somebody jammed a rusty icepick in there and was revving it like a motorcycle. I got home, q-tipped out some of the water, then got out the hydrogen peroxide. "Bottoms up!" I poured the cap-ful into my ear.

I came to, looked up, and my right hand was still gripping the sink. Pain. Grave pain. More q-tipping, got the other ear, no passing out.

That night I slept with my left ear on the pillow. I woke up to a wet pillow from water drainage. The water spread about a foot across. In the middle was some pink, to red, to tiny gross chunky bits. I flipped the pillow and dozed back off.

I woke back up not too long later, flipped the pillow back, looked at it, and let it sink in. I went downstairs, q-tipped some more, almost threw up from what I got, woke my mom, and told her I needed to go to the doctor in the morning.

The doctor, tact aside, looked in my ear and said:
"Oh my God!"
"That bad?"
"Yeahhh."
"What is it?"
"Your ear drum."
"What about it?"
"It's gone."

Apparently I still had all the bits around the sides, but the whole middle chunk was back at home being rinsed out of my pillow with a good amount of bleach. Six months of showering with gelled cotton in my ear, antibiotics, and balance and hearing issues, and the thing grew back. It's not perfect, and I still have trouble hearing and with my balance, but I got this story out of it.

[Mighty_Wingman]

Plus! a good excuse for the cops when they pull you over...

[FanGirl]

At least you got a story out of it, I've blown out both my ear drums with a fever of 106 degrees. Twice.

[Razorback]

Damn!

[EternalStrife]

Well, I was holding on to the piece of wood too close to where I was sawing perhaps a little too fast, I went back forth once on my finger before pulling back. But that particular accident was mostly my fault.

[Affleckie]

I have diabetes so my bones are brittle as hell, so I could tell stories all day. The most impressive one is my knee cap. I fell off a halfpipe when I was 15 and shattered it. Unfortunately, the pipe was built out in a swamp in the Middle of Nowhere, NJ so I had to walk home on it. By the time I got home there were actually pieces breaking through the skin.

Oh yeah. Tasty stuff. Got me out of gym class for a whole year.

[Affleckie]

I forgot to ask... what's going on in your avatar?

[Razorback]

Ouch!

I broke my collar bone skateboarding. When the doctor "set" the break he did something wrong (you wear a figure-eight contraption for such a break) and I had to go to the hospital the next day because the bone was poking out of the skin...

[marksiwel]

I am going to throw up now.

[BAMSS04]

Is it not Turk and J.D. ?

[TLS]

Ewww

What trick were you trying when you did that?

[Razorback]

No trick... just rolling. I wasn't looking and hit something.

[TLS]

Ow! That's the worst, when you don't even expect it and can't even prepare yourself for the fall.

[Razorback]

Word. I didn't even get to enjoy the flight. /forums/images/icons/wink.gif

[Mighty_Wingman]

Yeah okay, so the work injuries aren't very serious interesting or funny so ...

"For Sale"
When I was about four I had a dispute with an older kid over a Tonka truck , I believe. I had wrested control of it and was distracted by playing with it. He decided to use my lack of awareness to go pull a "For Sale" sign out of the ground and hit me in the face with it. My memories of the incident are rather vague , but my memories of the other children teasing me about the large scar on my face ( barely visible now) throughout my childhood are not.

"Aww Nuts !"
When I was about six I was playing outside and I saw a small squirrel going about his squirel-ly errands at the base of a large oaktree at the entrance to our driveway. He didn't seem the least bit scared of me. He may have been deaf ? I walked up to him and actually picked him up with both hands and held him out from my body, my hands around his torso, under his armpits ( I know that's not the right word, but ??? )looking at him , him looking at me .I thought we were friends. When I think back on this, it's amazing that he didn't freak out sooner. Anyway, thinking that I had just caught myself a friendly new pet, I tucked him in my left arm, the way one would carry a football, and began running back toward the house to show my parents. It was at that point when he.. freaked ! He scratched through the shirt I was wearing and there were many scratches, but just one large gash that still appears today as 3 inch tall T-shaped scar just under the ribcage on my left side. My parents didn't believe my story at first but gradually came to the understanding that I couldn't have done this to myself. The Dr. and my parents decided it was best not to wait for test results, or symptoms to see if I was infected with rabies . And yes, the rabies "treatments" were far worse than anything the squirrel did. Luckily, I've repressed most of it. You know the saying " Never, NEVER shake a baby ! " Well mine goes, " Never, NEVER fuck with a Squirrel !"

"NUTS AGAIN !"
Later that same year... A ways down the street from my house there was bike trail sloped off the road at a steep 65 to 70 degree angle, 30 ft. down. Then trailed into the woods. I'd seen older kids doing this and figured I was ready to face "the trials of The Trail" . I went down the hill picking up lots of speed and slammed the front tire right into the first tree I came to, racking myself on the gooseneck of my bike , it was the first time I got racked. I remember laying there crying for at least 20 minutes, it was then, and still is, the worst pain I've ever known. When I finally dared reach down there , the sack was empty. One came back later that day, but the other one took three days to fall back into place.

"Cued up"
When I was 23, I was playing pool at a local bar with a good friend . A very redneck-ish group came in ( cowboy hats, boots, big ol' belt buckles , probabaly what most of you think of as stereotypical Texans) and started playing on the table next to ours. I nodded an acknowledgement. Got a dumb stare in return. I figured they were just unfreindly, or clique-ish.
So about 20 minutes pass, my friend and I playing pool on our table , them playing on theirs. I was ignoring them, and I figured they were doing the same. I was leaning over the table to take a shot, lining up the four-ball to the corner pocket...

...

... I'm on my back, on the floor, It's cold and I don't know how long I've been out, there's a heavy, splitting pain on the back of my head and an array of mostly unfamiliar faces looking down at me, morbidly fascinated and puzzled. Finally one of the faces I recognize as the bartender, utters " You goan'be awright? " I reached back to touch the pain on my head , my fingers came back red and gooey. One of the faces grabbed my other hand and helped me lean up , looking back at the spot where my head had lain , there was a circular puddle of blood about a foot and a half in diameter. The paramedics showed up and though I didn't feel like I needed to , they made me lay on the stretcher. Eight stitches in my scalp. Why? because the rednecks' girlfriend got caught staring at my ass while I leaned over the pool table. Sometimes, it really is difficult, to be this sexy.../forums/images/icons/smirk.gif That group was banned from the bar for life, the bar owner covered all the medical expense, out of his pocket that night. I haven't been back recently, but there is still a circular red stain on the hardwood floor between the two pool tables.
Someone drilled a nice neat hole right in the middle of the stain, and the story, as related to me by one of the waitresses, goes : A man was killed there. After he was whacked on the head with a pool cue he was shot, straight through the head for failing to settle a gambling debt. And sometimes, late at night, after closing time when the staff is cleaning up, a cold chill enters the room. The balls on the table move for no reason, and the sign that reads "Absolutely NO GAMBLING!" sways back and forth. Even though there's no draft.
I've become a cautionary tale ,and a ghost story, to dissuade gambling. My claim to fame, I guess?

[Razorback]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
because the rednecks' girlfriend got caught staring at my ass while I leaned over the pool table

[/ QUOTE ]

This is where you lost me. /forums/images/icons/wink.gif

[Mighty_Wingman]

Really ? Well, turns out, having an ass as sexy as mine is a big liability. It's almost criminal.

Honestly though, I've no idea why that f*cker chose to crack a cue stick over my head. But if you'd seen my ass you'd know, it's the most logical conclusion.

[Razorback]

If I saw your ass I would most likely knock you out.

[marksiwel]

with you knocked out, it makes it easier for Razorback to do the deed. Less struggling. /forums/images/icons/grin.gif

[bwdial]

You are lucky to be alive. A friend of mine in college, from Mississippi, was in a bar in his hometown and saw a man kill another with a pool cue. Said he hit him right along the center of the top of the guy's skull, and that it sounded like a ripe watermelon being dropped on the sidewalk.

[Razorback]

If only your girl knew that you think about two guys doing it...

[BAMSS04]

Lots of fun injuries.

Since most all have shared there complete injury list. I will throw in the rest of my list.

When I was eight I got hit in the head with a brick 22 stiches.

When I was 17 I took a slapshot to the face. 11 stiches

20 I got my foot caught in a machine at work broke it in two places.

After this little deal, which will take me th, next eight weeks to recover enough to continue with my work, I wish to be done with injuries for a long long while. Hopefully forever.

[marksiwel]

Not to mention, thinking of you naked in your fish bowl.

[Sheriff]

Wingman and Danger have got me cringing.

I have had my share of bumps and bruises but I seem to scar minimally and have an instinctive high-speed roll that has helped me in rollerblading, skateboarding, skiing, biking, yadda yadda. I distinctly remember hitting a baby head sized rock around 45 mph while mountain biking in a rock field, going over the handle bars, and walking away without a scratch.

My worst injury came when I was 7 years old, my grandfather who worked in the forest service for 37 years (37?) was teaching me how to cut down trees. We were out in a field 2 miles from nowhere. I was clearing a felled tree, my foot slips and the axe that I was swinging goes straight into my foot, entering at my big toe. I remember it hurt, bad, and my grandfather who was very old had to carry me the house and then we drove a half hour to the nearest hospital. The most painful part was the stitching they put through the nail of my big toe. The scar still splits the nail in half, pretty gross to look at.

[karmattack]

Herm...let's see. I've:

-had a dart stuck in my leg
-been stabbed in the eye
-had my nose broken three times, a finger broken, a foot broken, and the ligaments in my ankle are still healing from getting blown-out while rock climbing
-had the top of my head split open getting pistol-whipped
-bitten through my tongue to the point where teeth were showing
-had chunks of glass surgically removed from my knee
-run into a horizontal beam so hard I blacked out and woke up with all my front teeth chipped
-been punched in the face so hard my gums bled
-gone blind for a few hours for no explicable reason
-gotten "punted" in the face going for a low header in a soccer game
-had countless skateboard and mountainbiking gashes
-stabbed an X-acto into the bone of my thumb
-dislocated both my knees and one of my shoulders

...and here is my favorite personal injury story:
I was running in my mom's hallway one day when I tripped so hard I got thrown onto my hands and chest. It felt like I kicked a 2x4 that was nailed into the floor. A couple moments later, a dull-but-acute pain started to clumsily work through my foot, so I looked. What I had kicked was a sewing needle that was wedged in the carpet, and I had done it with enough force to drive it into bone in the ball of my foot. I had to pull it out with pliers.


All that said, I've never had a stitch, cast, or patch. I have to use a brace to rock climb until my ankle heals, or else the ligaments come out of place and my foot goes 3 degrees of limp, but that's it.

[jjcourtright]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
-had a dart stuck in my leg
-been stabbed in the eye
-had the top of my head split open getting pistol-whipped
-been punched in the face so hard my gums bled

[/ QUOTE ]
Michigan sounds like such a nice place to live!

[karmattack]

Yeah, considering the fact that we have 2 of the nation's top ten highest crime-rated cities, it's not very friendly here. It's not like that everywhere in MI though, and it's totally home. That said, I think I've earned my right to be a peace-loving hippie commie.

[karmattack]

Seeing as I've killed this thread, I'll try to be the one to resurrect it.

http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/afp/20041208/capt.sge.mrp89.071204235955.photo00.photo.default-219x245.jpg

[karmattack]

Also:

http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20041207/capt.sel80112070834.south_korea_nail_sel801.jpg

Story here. (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&amp;u=/041207/481/sel80112070834&amp;e=2)

[TomHarrington]

Shark attack victim, likely a Hammerhead.

[DangerSeeker]

"I'm heading to Boston, take in a game, grab a beer, maybe bite a local..."
http://usuarios.lycos.es/BoigCinema/Stars/hammerhead.JPG

[JK]

Could've been worse...


http://home.comcast.net/~joehulon/science.gif

[DangerSeeker]

Damn, DareDevil f*@#$d that guy up!

[JK]

That's what you get for packing dynamite and gun powder into a hole in a rock with a 13-pound iron rod... f*cked up.

[DangerSeeker]

That's not what I got, but I guess I did it differently. Through proper pacement, I was able to not only create a crater, but blow the rock into the sides, add some concrete for the gaps, and instant swimming pool!

[karmattack]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Shark attack victim, likely a Hammerhead.

[/ QUOTE ] Yeah, but this guy was a real Pinhead. I mean, talk about a Numbskull.

[TLS]

Nah, This guys the real pinhead. /forums/images/icons/smile.gif

Pinhead (http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Vault/9012/pin3.jpg)