3 AM Rants

[marksiwel]

So its 3 AM, I'm watching Alias Season 3, and no one is on the damn board.

So whats the future of this board?
Fall and Winter Break are coming up so brace for Newbies.

Then there are the debates coming up, then the election. So brace for Razorback vs. The Left. Kidding of course...

Computer I've (RICO) has been building for me is almost done. Then I can have an powefull machine to do my bidding, I am thinking of doing some video editing or possibly making a website (with Rico)

Thinking of buying a car (Maybe a Kia)
<font color="white"> my plan messing with China_TOwn is going as planned shhh...this part is secert </font color>
meant to go see "The Missing" suprised there wasnt a thread here. Anyone see it.

When I get my Tax money back this spring I am expecting alot back, maybe go buy an airsoft gun, like a cool one.

Power went off at my house this morning, so I overslept missed school aka I didnt take Rico to school (he was pissed)

THis girl I work with came home to find her (new) husband was gone and so was his stuff/their cat. All she found was a note. So thats not cool.

I've gotten to a point at work where I dont know I'm working. Its kinda scary almost like I've grown to like it.

I need a hobby.
An Ex-Friend of mine is building a Batman Suit (not as cool as it sounds) so that always good for laugh.

Gotta Finish School, Gotta Get a Good Job, Gotta Get Engaged, Gotta go over to Ricos house and hit on his hot little sister.

[Matt1]

For some reason I smell barbecue at the moment. Normally not that odd of a thing, except it's currently two in the morning. Weird.

Just got done watching the first two parts of Nova's "Origins" on PBS. The cosmos kick so much ass.

Still haven't watched the fourth Star Wars disc. Will do.

My insomnia appears to be returning. Much anguish will soon ensue.

And tell your friend making the batsuit that my leather-slave has an extra codpiece if he needs it. /forums/images/icons/wink.gif

[karmattack]

I'm actually trying to keep head and neck above water at the moment -- going through what could be a pretty rough time if I let it get to me.

--Definitely not making enough money. I'm behind on more than one bill at the moment which makes me feel sick to my stomach. I'm working a lot more at both of my jobs, so it will hopefully smooth out soon. It's just that period in between when things feel so unstable and worrisome.

--I torqued my ankle really badly a few weeks ago rock climbing. I was pressing all my weight into my left ankle doing a highly technical move when the joint popped, which caused me to roll my ankle over and tear several ligaments. I just got off crutches, but my ankle is still swollen, extremely bruised all the way up to my calf, and it will "pop" from time to time as I walk.

--because of said injury, I haven't been making it to my classes since I couldn't drive (manual transmission -- trouble pressing in the clutch) and didn't have anyone to drive me. Plus, it's next to impossible to carry art projects and walk with crutches. As a result, I've missed a ton of class and put myself in a really bad spot. Bullets to be bitten.

--Recently broke up with my girlfriend. We were together off/on for 4 years. I won't get into the reasons why, but it was definitely time and it was the right thing to do. Though, I saw her out with the new guy she's dating, which was less than pleasant. I thought it would be better to stay instead of run off and act weird since it was my own choice to begin with. So I talked to them both, acted approving, tried to make it seem like nothing about the situation bothered me. It worked. It also sucks. I have some good potential for girls to take out, but because of my money situation and everything else that needs attention, I know I have to keep that off the plate for a while. Need to use the energy for other things.

--I'm reeeeeeeeally stressing about where I'm going to live 5 months from now then my lease is up. My roommate is moving an hour south and I don't have anyone else to really count on. It's either back to mom's or a tiny room at my cousin's. The latter of those might not actually be that bad.

--One of my friends, because he was in the reserves, is getting shipped to Iraq next month after a refresher in training. That would be mostly alright, except he's absolutely against the war and the current administration which is why he got out of the reserves to begin with. He paid off all his dues, got married, had a kid, almost finished repairing his new house, and he just got the letter in the mail. I can't describe how upset he is about it and do it justice.

Man, that's just the major stuff. I could go on. How sad! I'm just trying to maintain a good attitude and perspective about things and keep in mind that it's all temporary.

But dammit, I can't wait to be happy for real.

[Razorback]

That sounds a lot like my situation right now. The only difference is that I try to look at the bright side of things. Star Wars is coming in 231 days!

I hope I can sneak in to see it without someone noticing my piss jar and the box in which I will be living. /forums/images/icons/wink.gif

[ZyronDrazil]

You sound like the guy from Office Space. At least about the whole not caring about work bit. Find somethin to do man. Try writing a novel, pick up a guitar, go get a puzzle or a model you can build. Find somethin that'll take your mind off of the shitty things that are happenin. You just seem to be bored with life at the momment.
If you don't think you can write at all, you type a hell of a lot every day. So theres not much else to writing.

[karmattack]

Dude! Like everyone else, I'm trying to ignore your bullshit, but are you TRYING to keep these problems going? What the hell is your deal?

[ZyronDrazil]

I was just giving him some hobby ideas. What the hell is wrong with that?

[Rico]

It would take me days to type all of my problems, I'll just keep them to myself and deal with them as I can.

Life sucks.

[Matthew]

Do you think that the people on this board are stupid and can not see through your mindless droning and bitter sarcasm?

[ZyronDrazil]

What you mean the Office Space remark? I didn't mean anythin Bad by it. I was just saying it was strikingly similar, as in a humorous light, nothing dark about it.

And everythin else I was serious about. Try doin somethin with writing, or find a hobby that you think you may enjoy, or try something that you think you may totally hate, because you might like it in the lnog run if you hven't tried it. Sorry if that message wasn't Clear.

Whats so bad about that?

[Droogan_Leader]

Karma, I have to say this, because I've got some problems too. It's nice to hear others talk about their problems and alternately to talk about our own, but I'm kinda upset to hear you're feeling down. And for everyone else having problems, things seem to have a way of working out. I believe there's a plan, and a purpose for things--and I think you'll be alright. Just wanted to say hang in there, and know I'm rootin' for ya's /forums/images/icons/smile.gif

[DangerSeeker]

Well, marks did say he needed a hobby. I can see it when I scroll.

For once, things are going along pretty swimmingly.

-I'm doing well at both of my jobs. Just got my 1 year eval at the one, and they gave me all good scores, plus noted my improvement over the past two months.

-The other job I think I may be up for employee of the month, which my secret girlfriend got last month. This would be good, because if/when people find out, we can argue that it clearly hasn't hurt our performance if they complain.

-We have officially been together for only a month, but so far the openness and honesty, as well as the ability to deal with all of the BS and baggage we brought in, has been like nothing I've ever experienced. I know it's early, but I've got a good feeling on this one, and I don't get those.

-I've been changing my spending/activity habits, and seeing the financial reward for it. I'm still well in debt, but can see the progress clearly, and suddenly there's a horizon.

-I moved out of a really bad living situation into a far more pleasant one.

on the downside:

-I am going through a depression. I know it's chemical, and there's no reason, so that helps, but the physical side of it just sucks. Fatigue, loss of appetite, yada yada.

-I never have time off to write, and I've really been getting the bug to get working on a few things, some of which I'm supposed to be developing as a collaboration (sorry, involved parties).

-My home connection is still down, so I haven't updated my site in five months. Moving, having 2 jobs, etc, and technical issues do not work well together.

Okay, I'm done.

[ZyronDrazil]

Usually when your depressed about nothing, theres still some reason. An unknown reason. I just got out of a similar depression myself. After 10 years of depression over the death of my best friend, I was finally happy for once. But then about a year ago I started getting depressed again, but not because of that. I still haven't quite figured out why I have been depressed, but I force myself to face the truth that I would make it through this, I had been through much worse. The dark clouds are seeming to clear up. It's just a storm that I should have faced a long time ago, rather than just let it linger for a year.

Lifes always full of ups and downs. Even when things seem they can't possibly get any better, or worse. Theres always something happening on the other side that will balance things out eventually.


I've been working on my trilogy for almost a year and a half now. I've finally started kicking in 1000 words at the least a day now. But I've had major motivational problems, mostly cuz of my depression. I guess it was caused by the fact that life meant nothing anymore. Even though I had a bunch of story ideas, and all none of it seemed to really spark any fuel that I needed to move on. Now I'm paying the price for it. But I'll be damned if the price over powers me. Because I'll accept it, count my losses, move on, and continue to get better with what I do. I've already been through hell to let anything else bring me down as far as I've gone. I don't think anything is lower than where I've fallen. Except death, thats the ultimate low I guess in some lights, but those depths I wont venture till that time comes that I can't live any longer. I've seen death too many times to let it consume me anyways.

On the upside. I finally finished a short story on one of the super hero's characters that me and my friend are creating for a future comic industry.. I told Ryall about it kind of.. more like a propositional thing... Anyway Thanks for the Advice Ryall...

It's funny I chose the signature I put up cuz of fight club yesterday, only to realize just now that I have lost everything. Now that I'm free I guess things'll get better. I'll be damned if they get worse.

My novels are comming along swimmingly, I should be done with my fantasy novel by december, I'm only on chapter 5 now, but its better than being on chapter 3 for a year and a half... I'm writing like 10 pages a day now....So I guess I've found my 'spark' If you call it that.

Blah.. I got nothin more to spill out.... I'm goin.

[TLS]

I wanted to write something nice to cheer ya up, but the Droogan Leader pretty much wrote what I was thinking so just read his message again about how things will work themselves out and I hope the best for ya. Also, I found that it's hard to say the word boob without cracking a smile. I guess it's just a funny word. Say it a few times if you need to. It's kinda magical.

[karmattack]

Thanks, guys. /forums/images/icons/smile.gif

[DangerSeeker]

I know there's a reason, and after years of going through these slumps, both in good spots and bad spots, I saw a therapist for a while. I learned, through that, philosophy, logic, etc, how to separate reality from mood. Then eventually we narrowed down some things, and it turns out it's a chemical imbalance. Not sure the root cause for any given change (weather, diet, or what) but I do know that it's a physical thing. I look at it like the person whose knee hurts before when the barometric pressure drops. They didn't do anything recently to cause it. It's just a body flaw that needs to be worked through. Medication doesn't work for me (I mean that in several ways) so I just get through it with willpower. The manic phases make it worth it.

Thanks for the thoughts, though. You're right that eventually you need to get through it. THat's why, despite my mood, I want to get writing again. Usually, I get started on something, then as the depression fades, the work improves, I pick up speed, revise, and have been productive. Huzzah! Actually, I tend to plot when I'm down since it's harder to concentrate on the witty details, them fill in the gaps when I'm more of-the-moment crazy.

Learn the patterns and use them!

[jjcourtright]

Much like you, things are going swimmingly.

The new kid only wakes up twice a night, so I'm getting a pretty solid six hours of sleep last night.

I am on day 10 of 12 days of working in a row. It caught up to me last night. I was struggling to stay awake during Jedi at 8:30. Like Matt, I haven't made it to Disc 4 yet(or through Jedi either).

School is pretty weird this semester. I am used to being completely slammed by two incredibly tough classes each semester. But this semester, I decided to take an aerospace engineering class. It is such a piece of cake. The physics class takes up about 10 hours of out-of-class time to do homework. When I add in the work from the aerospace class, it adds up to 10 hours of out-of-class time. It is very nice. The last year-and-a-half it has been 20-30 hours. Did I say very nice?

October seems like it will be a pretty easy-going month. The only things that I have scheduled are Ben's baptism, and my Grandma coming to town. It will be the first time I have seen her since the day of my Grandpa's funeral back in March.

I don't really "get" depression. I don't mean to make light of anybodyelse's predicament, but it is nothing that has ever happened to me. Something of which I am very greatful, but at the same time, I sometimes think that I am dismissive of a serious problem.

I do however have the knee/barometer problem of which you speak, only in the pinky on my left hand. I broke it playing softball, and it acts up when weather is acomin'.

[ZyronDrazil]

With writing, I find that you should always pull out as much info that you got in your head, except for the last.. 10% of what you had left to say, just like making bread. You cut it down to 10% of what you have, then you stop for the day, clear your mind of the story and everything about it and focus on all your other matters. The next day, when you go down to write, that 10% of what you had left will be Huge and much clearer/better than what you imagined the day earlier. Perculation is a vital key to writing anything. Thats probably why when you sit down to write after a while of not writing, you spit out a whole lot of info, because Your subcontious never lets it go, only you do until you want to pull it back out.

Another thing. It may be a chemical imbalance, or something. But I've had too much self control/will power to let it effect most of my moods, even when I have an appetite malfunction, I force myself to eat regularly, even while sick, because I know it will help me in the long run. Also some advice a friend I don't even know anymore gave me a long time ago, that helped me over my friends death...

Picture all your problems as if they are One huge puzzle. Like your problems are part of a huge puzzle. Then spot out your problems that seem the smallest parts of the puzzle. Get rid of those problems, or at least try to understand those problems, then move onto a nother problem, then work your way up to your worse problems. Trust me by the time you reach that huge problem you will be laughing. Because you will feel that much stronger. That much more dominant over your self, that problem that seemed so big, will seem so small when you reach it. I got over my friends death all on my own, because I realized that I'd be going against a vow me and him made the day before he was killed. And if I would have moved against that vow, and let myself die and go to where deleted files go, then I would have let that promise turn more into a curse then rotting what remained of his memory. Instead I fought the urge of death that was whispering in my ears and vowed to him yet again, that I wouldn't let his promise be a curse. That I would strive and make my own special dent on this planet, and I'm glad I didn't because some things are in the mix as we speak. Hell now I can speak of my best friend without shedding a tear.

You were lucky to have had a therapist. I've never had anybody. All my friends turned me down from day one, practically telling me to fuck off and all that. So I feel that much stronger, having gone through such a horrible death all by myself.

[DangerSeeker]

It's something I didn't get until all of the pieces were laid out in front of me. Things would be going fine, and for no reason I'd feel trapped in my situation, or I'd feel like I was doing something wrong, or that people didn't like me, or in general that my life was bad.

I knew things weren't, and could clearly see that. It finally dawned on me that my body was reacting as if these things were going on, and that I had a biological problem I could identify and deal with. That made me stop believing what my body and mind were telling me. It's tough to really explain, I suppose, but I don't expect people who don't live with it to really understand. No big deal, just not something you've experienced. Better for you, eh?

[ZyronDrazil]

I understand. I understand almost everything. For the most part at least. I don't think medication will always cure every chemical caused depressions. I think that you're just searching for something, or someone that you haven't come across yet. A meaning to your life, maybe. I've been searching for a meaning to my life for years. I often wonder why I have 6 senses, and why that 6th sense has opened me to understand why the world works as it does. The ironic thing is I've always been good with advice, and giving people the verbal tools that they needed at the time they needed them. Yet I've always been the one searching for something other than myself to feed me the answers that I already knew. It's also ironic that out of the 16 friends that I've prevented from suicide aren't my friends anymore. But still am willing to aide the friends that I do have. I dunno I'm just babbling again.

[Matthew]

Have you masturbated lately? I recommend a double dose of masturbation. /forums/images/icons/smile.gif

Seriously though, I am going through much the same this last week or so, mainly because I am not surrounding myself with enough people. See, I have this thing (those of you who remember this I went through it last year too... ) I am depressed becasue I am not around people, but I don't go around people because I am depressed...

Strange it is, but it is so.

[Matthew]

Dude, don't buy a Kia.

[ozchick]

OK so its not 3am here (its 8.20pm) but somewhere in the world it is.

Sooooooooooooo... random thoughts......

I'm wondering if I should have only taken 1 unit at unit this semester instead of 2. The two I'm taking are quite possibly the most boring units ever and I'm 75% through them and for the first time ever have just failed tests in both. I think, now a month into my new job, it probably would have been better to drop down to 1 unit. Just too much work, learning, 700% more travelling time and its starting to overwhelm.

That said I'm really enjoying the new job, and know it was a good move.

I feel like I don't see anyone anymore.

I'm only in my apartment to sleep,

I'm eating way too much junk food,

I miss my old work buddies

I regret avoiding my 10 year high school reunion last week,

I've got new shoes for work and my feet hurt.

I should be doing a uni assignment, yet here I am crapping on.

I've been single for quite a while now and wonder if that'll change anytime soon.

My sister is spewing she didn't buy a Hooters top while in the US, so I've been planning for ages to buy one for her bday over the net, only to find tonight that they don't ship outside the US.

Long weekend coming up so hoping to catch up on some much needed sleep.

I miss Gilmore Girls.

I'm losing our Australian Idol tipping competition.

I don't get beat-boxing

Watching 16 episodes of The OC in two sessions is way too much OC.

Thanks for listening. /forums/images/icons/smile.gif

[bwdial]

I volunteer to massage your feet. *rub*rub*rub*
I work 6 blocks from the second ever Hooters. What size do you need? /forums/images/icons/smirk.gif

[ZyronDrazil]

You could have someone stitch... a Hooters shirt, it may not be good quality, but at least she'll know you remembered? /forums/images/icons/confused.gif

[ratm1966]

I am gonna be about 10 minutes from a Hooters this Saturday. I could pick one up too.

[ozchick]

You guys are awesome, kisses to you! I appreciate the offer but I can't ask you to do that. /forums/images/icons/smile.gif

[DangerSeeker]

Any one of us would GLADLY go to Hooters.

For you! I forgot that bit. I mean, we'd go for you. And stuff.

[bwdial]

You guys are awesome, kisses to you! I appreciate the offer but I can't ask you to do that.

Yeah...'cause it would really be putting us out. /forums/images/icons/smirk.gif

[Zens_7s]

In no random order:

- I am currently celebrating the conclusion of a really crappy two years in which I got married to an [censored], got divorced, lost my job, started my own business (which was stressful), travelled all over ass-end everywhere, and moved to Texas. The conclusion was long overdue and I thank god it was here.

-I started dating a really nice man a while ago. In atypical fashion he has proved to be better as time goes on. Respectful, funny, kind-hearted, and has practically identical interests to me. I thought all relationships were supposed to be based on picking the lesser of all evils, and I just might have been wrong on that one.

- When I moved to Texas I thought there would be a time I would get homesick for Sweet Home Chicago. Somedays I am completely suprised that I haven't been. Somedays I feel sad that I am not sad.

- My work goes in such wierd fluctuations. Right now I am heading back into a crazy upswing. For 50% of the summer I just hung around in my pool and made calls from there. The other 50% I didn't see the light of day. I guess the variety is nice...but sometimes I wouldn't mind going back to the 9-5.

- I have been to more college football games in the past two months than I have been to in my whole life.
P.S. Dave...WOOOOOO PIGS! SUEY! Sorry, had to do it. I watched the Crimson Tide get rolled over.

[Dave]

What did i tell you Zen, the Hogs are the suprise team of the SEC. Still the game was closer than the score shows, but yeah, i have the benefit of being beaten by both of your teams. Provided you are still with your man next year(or even if you're not), i invite you to my tailgating spot (http://www.angelfire.com/al4/bamatailgating/index.html) in Tuscaloosa, then it will be ON!!!!

Good luck against the Gator's on Saturday. As for Alabama, we may not have licked Nutt, but we will beat [censored] this weekend!!!!

[ratm1966]

Are you sure? Because I do have to agree with Danger on this one. Any one of us would sacrifice ourselves and actually set foot in a Hooters just to get a shirt.

Besides, the manager of the one here is a Seattle fan, so if he sees you enter and you have something on from either the Mariners, Seahawks, or Sonics, he will yell to a waitress and have her get you a free beer. I think that even if I wasn't already a Seattle fan, I would have to buy some of their gear just for the free beers.

[ozchick]

It would be the best present ever.

Ok If any of you are seriously going to be near a Hooters - PM me and we'll sort something out. It goes without saying that I will forever be indebted to you. I guess it didn't go without saying!

[Zens_7s]

That would be totally cool! We have a great spot for tailgating in Fayetteville also, and usually two spare tickets for each game. We will be at the LSU game next the day after thanksgiving. The real heartbreaker was the Texas game. Good lord do they hate the horns.

I told the b-friend that I was nervous we wouldn't win the game after all the razz I was giving you last year about NIU. /forums/images/icons/shocked.gif

Here is my favorite shot from the Texas game. When the F16's flew over it gave me chills big time. Ahh, fall and football!

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2004-6/758332/UofA.jpg

[Dave]

You guys have good seats. 30 yard line hummm.
Agian this football season is not going the way i expected. I don't know what you can do to a snakebit team, like Alabama has been the past several years, but something has to be done to stop the outrageously bad luck we've been having.