Dave
09-17-2004, 05:18 PM
I wish i had gotten this before the storm got here yesterday, when it would have helped me, but what can you do.
1) Since most of your furniture is plastic you may as well just dump it in the creek behind your house, it’ll end up there eventually anyways
2) Don’t try to ride out the storm in your mobile home, go to the nearest shelter location…the mobile homes that serve as your local high school classrooms
3) Stock up on condoms b/c you may be stuck in confined quarters with your family for awhile, and we know that’s too long to fight temptation
4) You may miss one or two days of church, that’s okay you can still make the other 5 services you normally go to
Since you’ll have some freetime riding out the storm, try being productive and better yourself…for instance practice saying “Parisian” without the extra “s”
5) Having the dog lick peanut butter off your genitals is neither productive nor a good use of your hurricane supplies
6) Just think, Florabama may be blown 20-30 miles closer to you (Sadly the 'Bama was buried in sand, and it's contents scattered thru out the Key)
7) Chik Fil A will still honor your checks if you need to stock up on chicken biscuits for the storm
8) While Ivan may only last a day, it will take awhile before the coast is back to normal. You may want to consider another vacation spot, TRY LEAVING THE F*CKING STATE FOR ONCE!!!
9) Remember, God is not punishing you with this storm, although he must really hate Alabama for filling it with so many sh*t flinging retards.
1) Since most of your furniture is plastic you may as well just dump it in the creek behind your house, it’ll end up there eventually anyways
2) Don’t try to ride out the storm in your mobile home, go to the nearest shelter location…the mobile homes that serve as your local high school classrooms
3) Stock up on condoms b/c you may be stuck in confined quarters with your family for awhile, and we know that’s too long to fight temptation
4) You may miss one or two days of church, that’s okay you can still make the other 5 services you normally go to
Since you’ll have some freetime riding out the storm, try being productive and better yourself…for instance practice saying “Parisian” without the extra “s”
5) Having the dog lick peanut butter off your genitals is neither productive nor a good use of your hurricane supplies
6) Just think, Florabama may be blown 20-30 miles closer to you (Sadly the 'Bama was buried in sand, and it's contents scattered thru out the Key)
7) Chik Fil A will still honor your checks if you need to stock up on chicken biscuits for the storm
8) While Ivan may only last a day, it will take awhile before the coast is back to normal. You may want to consider another vacation spot, TRY LEAVING THE F*CKING STATE FOR ONCE!!!
9) Remember, God is not punishing you with this storm, although he must really hate Alabama for filling it with so many sh*t flinging retards.