Ladies, help me out here.

[in_diana_jones]

Okay, so I like this girl. This girl just so happens to be a senior, and is graduating. I've had a big crush on her for a good part of the school year, can't get her off my mind and whatnot. Anyways...should I let her know how I feel? I debate this because she will be leaving for college after summer anyways. So is it just a lost cause?

[DangerSeeker]

I know you asked for help from the ladies, but advice is advice. You have two options. One: do something about it. Two: don't do anything. If you do nothing, you don't get the girl. If you ask, maybe she says no. Then you don't get the girl. Of course, if she's game, you DO get the girl. If you do nothing, that includes no option of getting the girl.

Also, tone down the crush and see her as not the end-all be-all. It's simple placement and perspective that causes one person to look down on another who looks up to them. Relax. Ask. Go from there. The years have taught me it is pretty much that easy.

[BAMSS04]

I had a crush in High School and never said shit... I alsawys wish I had but I didn't.. Do what you will but I'd say go for it..I mean if she says No then you won't have to see here around next year anyway.

[FanGirl]

Watch "Love Actually" if that kid can take a chance then so can you.

My friend gave me a good piece of advice called "The rule of ten" which is ask out ten different people. If one says no, you still have the others. The whole point is to not put all your emphasis on just one person.

[Jason_Brown]

Ah, I say go for it. "Gather ye rosebuds..." and all that stuff. If she shoots you down, you may find it easier to move on, than if you never knew.

[Dave]

I agree with everyone here, if you don't ask her out, you'll always be asking "What If?". And you don't want those regrets, they pop up again at the wierdest times.
So go for it, ask her out, I'd say you've got a better shot at Yes, than you do at No.

[DarthMaulRat]

My advise is to not worry that she'll be gone in 3 months. Relationships shouldn't be entirely based on schedules. They're not like business ventures, they don't need an exact amount of time to create profits or anything; relationships about birds and bees and funny feelings and wasting money and groaning everytime it's her turn to pick the movie.

[jjcourtright]

Go to a party that she'll be at, make sure she's drunk...you'll be a shoe-in!

[ILovePapaSmurf]

<font color="purple">Very romantic JJ. /forums/images/icons/wink.gif

I say ask her. You will regret it later on in life. Now, don't wait any second more...do it and good luck! /forums/images/icons/wink.gif</font color>

[Dave]

It seems that JJ and i used the same "dating method" back in the day.

[ILovePapaSmurf]

<font color="purple">It must have worked. I mean, JJ is married and you are getting married...</font color>

[in_diana_jones]

To be honest, I got most inspiration to ask her from that movie. I know that sounds lame.

Anyways, I have no clue as to how to go about this. I mean, we are fairly good friends. Ladies, once again help me out here. What's a good way to get the message across without getting too sappy on her? (Keep in mind that i'm somewhat shy so any long dialog such as that of Chasing Amy's car scene is a negative.)

[Droogan_Leader]

Bud, it's awesome you should ask.

I actually was in the same boat in college with an incredibly beautiful girl that I had never been able to get the guts to ask out. But, one day I figured out that I didn't have anything to lose, and potentially a lot to gain, so I went for it. I told her that she was my biggest regret from college, and if I didn't ask her, I would regret it forever. I told her I had always thought she was beautiful, and I couldn't live with myself if I didn't at least ask. So, we went out two times. It was right before she graduated, and she ended up moving away to NY, but those two dates are probably the coolest I've ever had--because before that, I didn't know I had the brass /forums/images/icons/grin.gif

I think Danger's got it--it's not the end of the world if she turns you down. Some things are meant to be, and some aren't. You never know if you don't try--and you owe it to yourself to find out--so go for it man!

...And let us know what she says /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif

[jjcourtright]

Worked like a charm in high school. Nothing builds more confidence than a coupla beers...especially when the girl is nicely toasted, also.

[DarthMaulRat]

That's at least a positive movie to get inspiration from. The films that spoke to me the most about relationships were 'Punch Drunk Love' and 'As Good As It Gets'. Accepting limitations is just so much more appealing than giving it your all.

[FanGirl]

There are tons of movies to go ask her to. Just make it clear that it's a date. You get into the whole "friend" and you're screwed.

[DangerSeeker]

Funny you should bring that up. Just this past week, I asked a girl out. Of course, I have plenty of female friends, so the context wasn't quite clear. I thought about it, and knew it could get awkward if not addressed.

Later that day I was hanging out talking with her (she's a co-worker) and at one point casually said "By the way, you know that's a date I asked you on, right?"

She'd already agreed to plans, which meant we at least enjoyed my company to a degree. Now I flattered her by thinking of her that way, it didn't become an awkward moment, and the intentions are clear. Successful upgrade! After I clarified, I went right back to what we were talking about.

Now we just need to find a night neither of us works.

[Droogan_Leader]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
You get into the whole "friend" and you're screwed.

[/ QUOTE ]
Ain't that the truth.

[bwdial]

I don't know much else to add...except that, whatever you do, do not, I repeat do not whip it out! /forums/images/icons/grin.gif
Seriously, the best advice that I've seen so far is that she's not the only female in the world. There will be others. If she's graduating, and you're still in high school, chances are she ain't gonna be "the" one anyway.

[Omaru]

Your already friends with her which means you get on, I'd say go for it. heres my 3 tales of rejection, each more progressive than the next though, I'm not trying to discourage you, I'm just saying you have cajones, use them.

1. I had a similar situation in school and I still regret not asking, I came close to finding her through a cousin last year but no real luck, and it's sorta sad I'd still be thinking about her since that would have been 5 years ago.

2. There was another situation in 2000 where I was in this student thing, whereby tents were set up in the city and we were working on a thatrical production for four weeks, so sometimes we'd be rehersing in a rented office block or we'd be making props in the tent, anyway it covered all types of art and across from our group was textiles, now in textiles there was, pardon my sappiness, the prettiest angel I'd ever seen. Most times I'd just look over at her occassionally and her eyes would meet mine and I'd instantly look away, push comes to shove and it's the last day no, everyone has about 20 mins lunchbreak to spare and then in 20 mins I have to hurry back so we can go to the Rep theatre and perform in front of a small audience of 100 on the smallest stage they have. So I see her there and she's with another asian girl, I buckle, and then I think 'what the heck, if all else fails I'm off to france tomorrow' so I get up, walk up behind them, knees shaking, I'm scared as hell, palms sweating, and say "excuse me" they turned around and all I could muster up to say was "I don't really know you but I like you" so the other girl says "you like my sister" and then I said "oh shes you sister, yes I like her" anyway the other girl didn't talk but she was blushing sort of, and then at most excellent moment, I suddenly felt like an awkward silence and no answer, so I just said "I've got to go" and ran off. Again I regret not waiting to hear an answer, but it was progression of the previous 2 years where I never asked out the girl, so I was a little proud, despite feeling sad I still did the performance okay.

3. Finally last year I went to one of these chat room gatherings, it was held in a pub/restaurant in my hometown and people coming from as far as scotland so I felt what the heck, I had the least distance to travel out of everyone (a 15-20 minute bus ride) anyway I can't talk to anyone at first so I just hit the bar to get a drink and loosen up, skip to the night and I'm talking like I invented the language now. But then 2 girls have been sitting at the table for ages, the guy I'm talking to just starts talking to them casually, and so I found myself evesdropping on him and then talking to them equally, probably the most talking done casually to a female whom I liked (first girl don't count because it was once I liked her I found it hard to talk to her) anyway I got a hug and a kiss 9on the cheek) from both girls and passed my number to one, alas she never rang, but then I was too drunk to realise I probably would have been better getting HER number. D`OH!

[in_diana_jones]

That's sad stuff man. Hopefully your love life is getting better, or will be better soon.

But since you said that, I know exactly what I don't want to do, and that's let her pass me by. I have to tell her...thank you.

[ratm1966]

Dude, you have nothing to lose by asking, except for maybe a little pride and everything to gain. Just don't ask in front of her friends. She might be more receptive if she isn't around other seniors. You know, they might rag on her for dating a younger guy.

[RobinHoodDaffy]

Not the best signature for a piece of advice. It is kinda like Homer's "Trying is the first step towards failure" gem.

[Asteban]

<font color="green"> Maybe another teenagers advice would help a little bit too. I was in the same situation as you are now about a year ago. I had been really good friends with Josh for several months and had a huge crush on him. Thanks to my best friend I knew that he liked me, but I was still kind of afraid to say anything. As was he. So about a year ago this month(don't remember the day), I sucked it up and told him how I felt. I've been with him ever since then. I do regret one thing, and that's not telling him sooner. </font color>

[Droogan_Leader]

I could very easily have posted what you said, Omaru. Sounds like you are painfully close to finding the right person. It seems to me like I get so close to finding someone--like when you want to say a word and it's right on the tip of your tongue but you can't think of it--it gets frustrating after a while.

I want to insert though, as someone who hasn't found the right person yet either, that there's reason to hope. If it's all that, it's worth waiting for--and I, being my crazy optimistic self, am going to keep hoping. Keep your chin up, buddy /forums/images/icons/smile.gif

[DangerSeeker]

Keep your chin up, but remember to shave, and don't keep it up all the time. There are some great shorter girls out there too!

I missed the point, didn't I?

[Asteban]

<font color="green"> I don't know about that whole shaving thing. I kind of like grungey looking guys . . . </font color>

[Matt1]

Fortune favors the bold.

[FanGirl]

Advice from a true lady:

Do one thing every day that scares you. - Eleanor Roosevelt

[DangerSeeker]

THe problem is, that one thing I do is jump out at myself and go "BOO!" It's the same thing every day, so it isn't as much scary as startling, yet creepy, since I can't figure out how I do it.

Fear of legitimate danger is a survival instinct. Fear of experience and knowledge is ignorance.