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karmattack
06-02-2004, 12:38 PM
This was in my e-mail today. Normally, this type of forward annoys the hell out of me, but I really enjoyed this one.

So, post your own "Ever Wonder?"


1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

4. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

5. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

6. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

7. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

8. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

9! . Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

10. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

11. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

12. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

13. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

14. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

15. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

16. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

17. Stop singing and read on ......

18. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

19. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

20. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

21. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

BAMSS04
06-02-2004, 12:59 PM
Ok here goes:

If you put money in the collection plate a church are you in fact buying a stairway to heaven? And if you have to buy your way into heaven then are you really wanted there in the first place?

DangerSeeker
06-02-2004, 02:29 PM
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

I asked a guy working on the elevator at my office if the close-door button was hooked to anything. He said the one here was, but in general they either aren't, or they no longer work. It just gives you something to do.

MiloBloom
06-02-2004, 08:06 PM
I find that strangely depressing. Aaaahhhhggg-the futility of it alllll!!!!

FanGirl
06-02-2004, 09:47 PM
Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a drive way?

ratm1966
06-02-2004, 10:53 PM
Why do they put brail dots on the keypads of drive-up ATMs?

DangerSeeker
06-03-2004, 11:53 AM
What kind of games do the slow children we're watching for play?

Why do we still call them elevators and escalators when we take them to a lower floor?

How can a band be at the top of the "Alternative" charts?

Does the M in MTV still stand for Music?

bwdial
06-03-2004, 01:08 PM
Why we get to choose from two candidates for President, but there are 50 for Miss America?

Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

BAMSS04
06-03-2004, 01:21 PM
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

ILovePapaSmurf
06-03-2004, 01:23 PM
<font color="purple">as much wood as woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.</font color>

RobinHoodDaffy
06-03-2004, 01:23 PM
Who says they can't? For if they can't chuck wood, how did they get that name.

BAMSS04
06-03-2004, 01:28 PM
Why would anyone do this for fun!

http://www.holylemon.com/funny-video-clips/thatsgottahurt.html

karmattack
06-03-2004, 01:33 PM
Have you seen this one? I think they use the term "slow" very loosely.


http://www.karmattack.com/avatars/drew/slow2.jpg


or this one, which is just mean

http://www.karmattack.com/avatars/drew/slow.jpg

BAMSS04
06-03-2004, 02:02 PM
Should I cut in line ?
http://www.holylemon.com/funny-video-clips/donttakenocrap.html

Tongue
06-03-2004, 02:03 PM
Why is it that the word used for people who aren't too good at spelling 'DYSLEXIC'??? That's just [censored] cruel.

Why is 'ABBREVIATION' such a long word?

The Lost City Of Atlantis.......Has anyone looked down the back of their sofa for it?

Droogan_Leader
06-03-2004, 05:53 PM
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
12. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?


[/ QUOTE ]
Testical! The answer to that one is testical! /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif

Denyse
06-04-2004, 03:52 PM
Can someone please tell me why there is a Permanent Press setting on my Iron?

Dave
06-04-2004, 03:57 PM
I don't know, but i'll bring some shirts over and see if you can figure it out /forums/images/icons/tongue.gif