PDA

View Full Version : Off the Bench - Kids and Sports


irwin1227
05-07-2003, 10:27 AM
"Whoever said its not whether you win or lose its how you play the game, probably lost." "

There was a time that yours truly was an athlete. Oh sure now I have the camel pouch, but I am saving that in case of drought. The closest thing to exercise I do now is limited to either working in the yard, or when the old lady has that twinkle in her eye. With her being with child as we speak, that opportunity is very rare. All I need is five minutes. Then it’s time for Sportscenter.

In high school I was a member of our (three-time district champion) swim team. I also played league baseball. I really enjoyed playing sports. Besides the benefit of being in the best shape of my life, I also had the luxury of playing for some good teams.

Winning was fun. It was a lot better than losing. (Nuke LaLouche where art thou?) There were times when we lost, and I took it very hard. I felt like I let down my teammates, my school, and even my family. There was a lot of pressure involved, but I thought at my age I could handle it.

Fast forward a few years. I have two children who play sports. My son, who is ten, plays league baseball. My daughter, who is five, plays soccer. I always preach to them to have fun. I tell them when it’s not fun anymore you don’t have to play. They can find something else - just as long as they are happy.

The hardest part for me having them involved in sports, is watching the pressure other parents put on their children to win. It just kills me that these people put so much stress on their kids to not only play well, but to win. You could call it verbal abuse. I just call it being an idiot.

A few weeks ago my son had an awful game. He was the pitcher that day and did not even get through two innings. There was a guy chastising the coach for having him in the game. So I did what any other parent would do to support their child – I stood up and encouraged him on every pitch. (I also called the guy a c*cksucker. It worked for Crash Davis.) It was important for him to see that I supported him no matter what. He felt better, and I scored points with the big man upstairs.

My daughter played for a local kid’s soccer league. It was designed to let every child get a chance to play. There is nothing funnier (or more scary) than watching ten little kids chase after a soccer ball with reckless abandon. And yet, there were parents asking what the score was, and yelling at their kids to play better. Excuse me, they are FIVE? Is it really going to change the world if these kids win or lose?

It really disturbs me to no end. I do have a solution though. I believe no league sports should keep score at these games until these kids are in junior high. You take away the pressure of winning, and it allows the kids just to have fun and enjoy themselves. It also prevents Johnny’s dad from acting like an ass. The pressure put on these kids not only turns them off to playing sports, but it creates a rift early on between parents and their kids.

Trust me- I would rather be talking about how sometimes I think about me, Jennifer Garner, and a case of Guinness. (There is a two-tissue moment right there.) Just be good to your kids and remember it is a game.

Time to hit the showers.

Coming soon – “You are an owner, not a player.”

Dave
05-11-2003, 01:12 AM
A really good post here. I feel for everything you said. There are some parents who are just asses, and seem to try and relive their own childhood through their children.

I respectfully dissagree with the keeping score part of your post though. I think that playing just for the fun is fine up until a certian age, but i think that Junior high is much too old to start keeping score. I'm pretty sure by the time kids are into the double digit ages they are mentally prepared enough to accept winning or losing. where i live when kids play tee-ball everyone gets a bat every inning and the games are timed, so after like 2 hours say, the game is over and everyone gets their Coke and box of Nerds or whatever. I think competition is an important part of growing up, Learning how to win and lose gracefully is an important skill that seems to be lacking from a lot of kids these days (just look at some of those parents and y9u can see why).

Anyway, those are my thoughts,

Dave

Matt1
05-11-2003, 05:15 AM
It is never right to verbally abuse a young child a small child. All these parents just yelling and chastising there kids just because they can't hit a ball?

Haven't these crappy parents ever heard of physical abuse? I'll never forget something my father used to say. "I'll beat the living shit out of you with a tire iron if you don't win!" And the truly beatiful thing was, I knew that he meant it. Ahhh, ping-pong. Now those were the days. Sniffle. /forums/images/icons/tongue.gif

Zens_7s
05-11-2003, 11:30 AM
This post brought up my thoughts on being young and involved in sports pressure. My hometown (pop. 3,000) produced 3 years of state champion football teams in a row, and a 15-year reign on track, cross-country, volleyball, baseball, and softball. What were we taught as young people? Second place is the first loser. Sports in more important than academics.

I did succeed at a sport, and went through three years of college on a sports scholarship. If I fell behind, I received special treatment. What were they teaching me? "You run extremely fast so you are not expected to live under the same rules as everyone else."

Luckily, I was raised in a family where sports were not a condition of approval. The pressure came from around me instead. It was difficult for my parents to hear some idiot heckling me, but they did not bring the stupidity back home. In my college junior year I was injured very badly. In one day, I returned to normal student-life without special treatment and a tuition bill due. What happened to my friends who had the other type of parent? Most dropped out after injuries and felt like failures.

I think teaching your children about the condition of love and competition is extremely important. I once asked a parent why they were yelling at their 5-year old after a T-ball game. “He needs to learn to be more aggressive,” she replied. Aggression will not teach a child to cope with the inevitable small failures adults live with everyday.

SecretArt
05-11-2003, 11:58 AM
thats one of the good things about Britain sucking at most sport there really isan't that much pressure in schools to succeed at sport. Being good at sports my make you one of the more popular kids at school but such achievements are not really placed above accedmic achievements in schools....well as far as i have experienced.

although the rugby team at uni got away with pretty much what they liked and nobody said anything....but then the head of the students union was form captain of the rugby first....but it was something you could easily avooid if you wanted to

Tongue
05-11-2003, 12:04 PM
As a fellow Brit I have to agree with what Secret Art says. There really isn't that much pressure on kids when it comes to sport in fact the only pressure my dad ever put on me was to not hit the guy who had been ankle tapping me every time i got the ball. I did as it happens and I felt good . My dad substituted me b4 I could get sent off. What fun those days were.

SecretArt
05-11-2003, 12:34 PM
hee! hee!

see thats why i use to love it when we played hockey....whoops sorry miss my stick slipped i really did not mean to intentionally hit her with it! honest! a great way to get your own back at anyone who had pissed you off that week

Omaru
05-11-2003, 09:26 PM
heh I spent ages being tormented by the same asian kid and his cronies, then we had hockey once and I just grabbed a stick and snacked it into his shin as hard as I could, he broke down into tears and after that i only had to endure his verbal slurs.

JIM
05-11-2003, 10:30 PM
Yup, the state of children's leagues are sad.
I recently went to visit my Godfather, saw his son play some little league... These "Super" parents have to be stopped! Moms and Dads going way too far with the yelling, etc. I felt like I was back at a Mets game or something...
Somewhere in the tri-state area a ball field was ELEVATED to a height where onlookers could not see the game, and the bleachers put back some two-hundred feet as to prevent lewd comments being directed at the kids! What the!?!
I would like it if they keep a scoring system, When I was a wee lad I know I used to like to know what the score was.
Perhaps, they should'nt let parents/guardians in to see the games. But that's kind of sad too... /forums/images/icons/confused.gif
Sometimes coaches are to blame too. Remember the Danny Almonte case in the Bronx, N.Y.? Kid should have been playing High School ball by that time! /forums/images/icons/grin.gif

strangely_brown
05-12-2003, 09:24 AM
As a first time father of an 8 month old, this is a subject that has been much on my mind.

I'm not into sports, never have been, never will be.

If my son enjoys sports then I will be into whatever he is into and basically just try to do what you are doing wth your childre, and that's to tell them that they can stop as soon as it is no longer fun.

The thing is though is that I am going to have a real problem the first time a parent yells something negative towards my child . . . I'm talking Jerry Springer time here /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif

Here's to the hope that I avoid acting like a Jerry Springer guest.