Another Smurfy experiment....

[ILovePapaSmurf]

<font color="purple">Well, today I, Smurfy, decided to do something that I wouldn't normally do. I decided to play the 'Damsel in distress' to see what would happen.

Here is the scenario:

Smurfy pulls up in her red 2001 dodge neon to the local recycling center. Clutching in her hand about four bags of recyclable she approaches the 'experiment' wearing her woodstock t-shirt, a nice pair of jeans and three inch heels (this is what I wore to work today, so I didn't change for this experiment). As she is putting bottles into the center's 'counter' the gentleman approaches and keeps talking to her while she is standing there...offering to weigh her bags of bottles instead of putting them into the machine. I reply, no its more fun this way. He reply's alright..well, time pasts and oh no the bottles wont go into the machine because they are puffed out. So, what do I do? Pretend I can make them look normal and here comes mr. man helping me out. What is is about a 'damsel in distress' moment makes guys want to peer out from what they are doing and help a girl? Is it because they feel she is too weak in a certain situation or what? Can you all explain this to me, because I am confused on why he would do this or am I in the wrong to be thinking he was thinking anything negative about me and just wanted to lend a hand?</font color>

[BAMSS04]

I can't speak for my entire gender on this but I would have asked you if you needed help whether you were a women or a man. That’s just me though. I've always been the "do unto others guy". I stop when I see people pulled over on the side of the road, I open doors for everyone, and I let people through in traffic. I do all this regardless of sex. (I'm not bragging just stating facts /forums/images/icons/smile.gif )

Now, see as I don't know this particular guy, I can't say that his intentions are the same as mine (just trying to be nice).... I shall only say this.... I have never looked down at a person who I am helping out and thought...You poor thing your so lucky I was around...
Anyway... I hope any of my rambling has been useful in your quest for a solution to your experiment.

[JK]

Same as BAM said- I'd have asked if you needed help regardless of religion, creed, color, or sex. I do it mostly to be nice, but partly just to get people out of my way/hair. If I can speed someone along, get them going on their way, or just give them a hand, I'll do it. I hope I don't sound callous or anything, I'm just used to strict deadlines and getting things done quickly, efficiently. It's annoying sometimes when someone obviously has no clue what they're doing and they stand there trying the same thing again and again, and it's especially annoying if they're some sort of uber femme nazi or something and take offense to my offered assistance just because I come with block and tackle. There are quite a few guys out there who can control their libido or have no interest whatsoever in taking away a woman's independence. And there are guys as well who get pissed off when someone offers a helping hand because it somehow emasculates them. But I think I get more annoyed- no, down right pissed off with the woman who constantly plays the damsel in distress to get what she wants or to get out doing something for herself. To me, that is a woman who will use up someone and then toss them aside when she is bored or can find someone who can do it better. I have no respect for someone like that and if it's obvious the damsel in distress is putting on a show, she can fend for herself.

After previewing that first paragraph, I sound like a heartless bastard... maybe I've fallen prey to the succubus one too many times. Maybe I've been the nice guy too long. Maybe I've been up for too damn long and I really don't know what I'm saying.

Or do I?

[Zens_7s]

I appreciate help in all forms it is offered, male or female. Courtesy is something we can all appreciate, and when a man is courteous to me I do not assume he wants to jump into my pants.

Having travelled so much lately I realize the cultural differences in politeness also. Here in Chicago we are not known for our courteous behavior. However, in Texas it was the other direction. People were more apt to speak to each other politely, open doors, and offer assistance regardless of gender. When the Texans came to visit here, they came back with plenty of stories about the shocking rudeness of Chicagoans. Frankly, I had not noticed before (having grown up here), but I do notice now.

My father, being a typical old school Navy officer, had impeccable manners toward both genders. One time he was yelled at by a woman for opening the door for her. His comment..."I believe in equal rights for everybody and I refuse to treat you like crap just because you are a woman." I still smile when I remember that one.

[Threadkiller]

Maybe he just saw an opening to talk to you without the risk of coming across as desperate, creepy or stalker...ish.

Sure, I offer to help people all the time. But I also find it easier to approach a girl under some polite pretext rather than just sauntering over and pulling out the 'how you doin'?' line.

[mounteenbose]

I think women read way too deep into situations. If your an attractive woman he probably gave you a little bit more attention than he normally would. Guys will do anything for a pretty face.

[FanGirl]

I hold doors for men and women. If I see someone that needs help, I'll help them. I also open the passenger side door before mine which drives my guy friends nuts.

What aggravates me is if I am holding the door for a guy and he insists he hold it for me. I am already holding it open. They just need to walk on through.

[Zens_7s]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
What aggravates me is if I am holding the door for a guy and he insists he hold it for me. I am already holding it open. They just need to walk on through.

[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah, I hate that. I like to give them a good little ass grab and maybe check out the package if I have time, and they just goof up the works by doing that. It makes my decision to ask for their number much more worth the time involved in opening the door.

[marksiwel]

I've just started closing doors on people
its fun try it

[Efexeye]

Wait, it's a news flash that men like to help women in distress, and that sometimes women play that angle to their advantage? Oh man, I must've had my HEAD IN THE FUCKIN' SAND NOT TO REALIZE THAT ONE.

[DarthMaulRat]

What's even more fun is going to a grocery store where all the doors are automatic. Everytime there's a girl coming, you say "Let me get that for you" and stamp on the mat. Then you make all these faces like you're some dashing playboy. I did it for a skit once, and the reactions I got were priceless, especially from the elderly women who said 'thank you' with total sincerity.

[Efexeye]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
I realize the cultural differences in politeness also.

[/ QUOTE ]

Me too. When I walk on the street in Detroit, I keep my head down and do everything I can not to make eye contact with anyone- I've learned from long experience that being polite doesn't get you much. Holding doors or elevators doesn't get a thank you, waving someone through in traffic doesn't get a wave, and no one realizes that you are giving up your place in line so they can get their kids in and out of the McDonald's faster.

However, out here in the lovely O.C., people go out of their way to say hello or at least nod. It's nice to be in a civilized place now and again.

[Zens_7s]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
However, out here in the lovely O.C., people go out of their way to say hello or at least nod. It's nice to be in a civilized place now and again.

[/ QUOTE ] People can say what they want about California, but I have had a large amount of pleasant experiences there. For the two months I was living up in northern CA this past year, and the year I lived there after college, I appreciated the difference in politeness.

It was a culture shock moving home for a while. I realized how rough I am in comparison.

[Matt1]

Everyone here's equal opportunity politeness has brought my own politeness philosophy into question. I try to be congenial and helpful to pretty much everybody, but to say I treat men and women both the same would probably be an inaccurate assesement.

I mean, when I'm sitting down in a crowded room and a woman enters, I always stand up and offer my seat. This is a courtesy that I do not extend to males. Does that make me sexist? I'll also pull out a chair for a girl if I'm on a fancy date. Sexist? Would any of the girls on this board be offended if I performed one of those actions for them? Men, would you be offended if I didn't?

[Efexeye]

I think the answer is yes, it makes you a sexist, and no, if you know what's good for you, don't ever stop doing it. There's something to be said for being a little gallant, a little classy, a little suave. Chivalry doesn't have to die- in fact, I don't know why women would put up with any guy that doesn't do the little things. I called my girlfriend at work to ask her where her Springform pan was 'cause I wanted to make dessert to go with our dinner, and she couldn't believe I even knew what that was! I was blown away by her being blown away.

Girls, why do you put up with assshole guys? Is it because you fear being alone? Is it because you love the c0ck? What's the story, there?

[karmattack]

I try to be chivalrous all the time, for everyone. I hold the door open for guys sometimes, but it's usually guys I know; opening the door for random girls often gets a surprised "Oh, wow. Thank you," but for random guys it's a "Um," *hesitation* "Thanks," while they run through the door guarding their anus. I try not to descriminate between the sexes, but around here, a guy going out of his way for another guy can get some odd reactions. Plus, I know that helping a woman in need is really bringing me one step closer to orgasm. I mean, err....wait... /forums/images/icons/smirk.gif

Chivalry can be funny at times. Did you know that it's polite to go through a rotating door before a woman so that way you can push the door for her? But if a woman doesn't know that and you acknowledge her right before you jump in the door ahead of her...that's just comedy gold. It's also considered polite to follow a woman up the stairs and lead her down. That way, you break her fall either way.

I must say, however, hats off to you fabulous ladies out there who put the toilet seat back up.

[Efexeye]

Also, when walking on the street, you are supposed to be on the side closest to traffic, so if a car jumps the curb and kills someone it will be you and not her.

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
but for random guys it's a "Um," *hesitation* "Thanks," while they run through the door guarding their anus.

[/ QUOTE ]

Laughed my ass off at that one, pal.

[bwdial]

A lot can be owed to where in the country you are. Dial a wrong number in most parts of the country and you'll get your head bitten off. Dial a wrong number in the rural South and you may be engaged in a ten minute conversation.

[jjcourtright]

Ree...cy...cling. I'm unfamiliar with the word you cute little ragamuffin.

[FanGirl]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
I must say, however, hats off to you fabulous ladies out there who put the toilet seat back up.

[/ QUOTE ]

I was always trained that if your at a guys apartment and a girl you put the seat up. If you're a guy at a girls apartment, you put the seat down. If you're in a couple's house, you leave it like you found it.

[Zens_7s]

I will give upmost credit to both Karma and Efexeye for being true gentlemen.

In fact, when we were walking down that back alley behind the bar there was a very shady looking character coming at us. Karma very discreetly walked around and took the side that would run next to him so I didn't have to. See, you think I don't notice these things, but I was impressed.

And by the way Smurfy, you can't fool me. No girl goes to the recycling center, or anywhere else for that matter, in 3 in. heels unless they are hoping somebody notices they look nice. Everybody likes to get a little well meaning attention. It makes them feel good...right? /forums/images/icons/grin.gif

[ILovePapaSmurf]

<font color="purple">To me, it was a little weird because there was another customer that pulled up and he said hi and went back to talk to me. To me, that wasn't being nice, it was being a little creepy...I even looked passed him being an older gentleman..

I was brought up with the understanding that both sexes should take part in manners. For example, I will sometimes open the door and let him in, just because I am nice, but when my friend does it to me, I get annoyed. I don't know I like control.

But, I do like romance and a gentleman in certain situations like if they ask someone out for dinner, they shouldn't take their date to a crappy bar that is a ghetto version of Dennys and should offer to pay gas money when they take thier ass to LA and then he takes over your car. /forums/images/icons/smile.gif

I'm not used to being treated like a 'lady' by a guy, well because I think guys are a little too scared to talk to me because once I am comfortable in a situation, I'm a little wild child (Zens, Denyse and FanGirl knows this with the Disney train guy...choo choo).</font color>

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
And by the way Smurfy, you can't fool me. No girl goes to the recycling center, or anywhere else for that matter, in 3 in. heels unless they are hoping somebody notices they look nice. Everybody likes to get a little well meaning attention. It makes them feel good...right?

[/ QUOTE ]

<font color="purple">Damn you Zens..you found out my secret. It would have been successful if he was a little younger and at least good looking. Which reminds me, I should wear heels to Denny's tonight.</font color>