Holy Moly...

[JIM]

If this is true, THAT'S one big fookin' SNAKE!

Now that's a Python! (http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/asiapcf/southeast/12/29/offbeat.giant.snake.ap/index.html)

I really want to see pics and video of this one!

[karmattack]

I knew I caught you sneaking a peak while we were standing at the urinals. You didn't have to broadcast it. /forums/images/icons/confused.gif

[JIM]

It always has to be about you huh? /forums/images/icons/wink.gif
I was talking about Ryall, not you!
You know... I could sneak a J&SB trouser snake joke in here somewhere...But I wont. /forums/images/icons/grin.gif

[Asteban]

<font color="green"> My favorite part: </font color>
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Republika said the snake, which was caught last year but only recently put on public display, eats three or four dogs a month.

[/ QUOTE ]

<font color="green"> hahaha! Don't get me wrong, I love doggies. But this just strikes me as VERY amusing. </font color>

[Droogan_Leader]

I happen to own a pretty big python myself, and I think JIM is failing to see how much of a disadvantage a big python can be. There are a lot of places you just can't go with a big python. Sometimes I need lube just to squeeze him in and out of his cage.

[Asteban]

<font color="green"> Is it hot in here or is it just the innuendo? </font color>

[Droogan_Leader]

If you think you're hot now, you should come over sometime, and help put my python in his cage. I'm willing to bet you'd be covered in sweat. You'd probably pull a muscle from all the hard work. One girl I had over one time screamed for about half an hour after Mr. Happy, my python, spit in her face. Needless to say, she pulled and pushed a lot harder after that! /forums/images/icons/smile.gif

[Asteban]

<font color="green"> Hahahaha. For that. I have no response. </font color>

[Droogan_Leader]

Well I was kinda wondering, since this is a semi-private thread and all... /forums/images/icons/tongue.gif

[Asteban]

<font color="green"> So does your python eat dogs too? hahaha. I guess I could think of a response. Hooray. </font color>

[karmattack]

All this private talk brings new light to your avatar.

[Asteban]

<font color="green"> Holy crap. YOU'RE RIGHT! My god, thats the funniest thing I've heard/seen all day. But I just woke up about and hour and a half ago. Still. Alert the churches! Led Zeppelin is planting naughty images in our minds! If my church told me to stop listening to Led Zeppelin, I'd find a new church. But they wouldn't do that, because my youth pastor kicks ass.</font color>

[Droogan_Leader]

That was rich karma.

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
So does your python eat dogs too? hahaha. I guess I could think of a response. Hooray.

[/ QUOTE ]
My python loves nothing more than a big, juicy furburger, Asteban, come on over! /forums/images/icons/grin.gif

[Asteban]

<font color="green"> Now that is just scary. Haha. Hit on someone legal. Now maybe if I was 2 months older in New Jersey. /forums/images/icons/tongue.gif </font color>

[Droogan_Leader]

I'd never, ever hit on you, Asteban. I respect your relationship with your boyfriend, and that fact that you're an illegal immigrant /forums/images/icons/crazy.gif I could never allow an illegal immigrant to get anywhere close to my python. Good thing you told me.

[Asteban]

<font color="green"> . . . once again I have no reply, except for saying that I have no reply. Which I guess would actually be a reply . . . </font color>

[Droogan_Leader]

Well, I guess we'll always have Led Zeppelin...

[Asteban]

<font color="green"> Yes, Led Zeppelin. Very good. I can't count how many times that music has kept me from killing stuff. And how many times it has encouraged it. Heh heh. I was listening to Led Zeppelin while making my Christmas cookies, and it kept me from throwing all my cookies against the wall. They weren't bad cookies. I had just made like 9 dozen cookies in one day and I got angry. </font color>

[Droogan_Leader]

You've got to be one of the coolest girls I've met so far--you bake and you like Led Zeppelin. Not that those two things are mutually exclusive or anything. You're just a gem! /forums/images/icons/grin.gif

[psychofiend]

I have pretty much given up on the perfect girl, she don't exist. So I'll stick wih whatever chick wants me.

[Droogan_Leader]

It's probably for the best, since there is no perfect guy either. One day you'll wish girls weren't holding out for their perfect guy to come along, who met all 487 of their requirements. It works both ways.

[Robbo_the_Hood]

I love when girls say what they look for in a guy is that "instant spark." What they really should say is that fleeting moment brought on by 10% chemistry and 90% asthetics.

[Razorback]

When women (or men) say that what they really mean is "I want to find a person who is so fuckin' hot I forget where I live!" No one has an "instant spark" with a fat or ugly person.

RB

[Robbo_the_Hood]

You know, they should make a reality TV show about a woman who has to . . . I think we all know where I'm going with this joke.

[Mighty_Wingman]

Uhm yeah , I'm gonna go ahead and kind of, disagree here. I've often had the " spark " with girls who weren't that attractive physically. Granted, it's a different kind of spark but a spark none-the-less.

[Zens_7s]

I think that it's called "lust", and it is something we have to deal with...biology over reason. It is a biological predisposition for woman to mate with men that will work into the survival of the fittest equation. Of course, that biology worked well when men only lived to be about 25 before they were offed by a mastadon.

I have gone for biology over reason once. Once was MORE than enough to teach me that lesson. Hot doesn't entertain you anymore on long car rides with nothing to say, or long dinners where blank looks just get boring.

Give me a man with substance! (and maybe the ability to play the guitar and like Springsteen)

[karmattack]

[whistles]

Taxi!

[Zens_7s]

[God I hope he doesn't get offed by a mastadon on the way here!]

[FanGirl]

Like John Cusack says in "High Fidelity" there are certain people at the age of 27 who think they will be alone for the rest of their lives...I am one of those people.

[Zens_7s]

Here here FanGirl!

That way we don't have to share our toys, DVD's, CD's, or TV with anybody else. It's better this way. I just got done trying the alternative, and it just sucks to fight over remotes.

I am not opposed to casual visitors, but visitors they must stay. /forums/images/icons/smirk.gif

[karmattack]

Man, if I had a nickle for every time I said that I would put them together with all the nickles I had for not doing what I said. Then I would have enough nickles to finally get a hooker and be done with it.

[Razorback]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Uhm yeah , I'm gonna go ahead and kind of, disagree here. I've often had the " spark " with girls who weren't that attractive physically.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is the most full-of-shit post ever on MPS... and that's saying a lot. /forums/images/icons/wink.gif

RB

[Denyse]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
holding out for their perfect guy to come along, who met all 487 of their requirements.

[/ QUOTE ]
Let me just clarify something here...Publicly and for the record. In my early 20's I had a list like this. In my late 20's I scaled it back a little. In my early 30's my requirements were down to about 10. Now, on the 40 side of my 30's I've narrowed it down to the following:
Has a regular pulse.
Doesn't need assistance getting to the bathroom.
Can breathe independent of an Iron Lung.
Can, on occasion, achieve an erection, with or without medical intervention.

Now, who exactly is it that's looking for a perfect guy??? /forums/images/icons/smirk.gif

[Razorback]

Here are my requirements (the same as they were when I was 16):

Interesting, intelligent, sexy (at least to me), sweet, likes to cuddle, doesn't mind that I feel the need to be the dominant one in the relationship... and most importantly, someone who makes it a point to make me feel better not worse.

RB

[Robbo_the_Hood]

Doesn't this go against the whole beggers can't be choosers argument?

[Razorback]

Nope. I am not a begger so it doesn't apply.

RB

[Droogan_Leader]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Now, who exactly is it that's looking for a perfect guy???

[/ QUOTE ]
Where have you been all my life? /forums/images/icons/grin.gif

[FanGirl]

You forgot says he needs to say "Bless you when you sneeze."

That actually takes care of two movie references in one now.

[karmattack]

...or "gesundheit," although "bless you" is nicer.

[Denyse]

I thought we were going for realistic goals, or I would have mentioned the sneeze thing. In reality, I could yell fire in a crowded movie house and still be ignored...

[Razorback]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
You forgot says he needs to say "Bless you when you sneeze."


[/ QUOTE ]

I would never say that since I don't date men.

RB

[Omaru]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Has a regular pulse.
Doesn't need assistance getting to the bathroom.
Can breathe independent of an Iron Lung.
Can, on occasion, achieve an erection, with or without medical intervention

[/ QUOTE ]

is there any man who can do all four?
better take my name off the suitor list
*walks off head in shame*

[Denyse]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
is there any man who can do all four?


[/ QUOTE ]
I'm still single and haven't had a date in about a year...What's that tell you?

Other than "I'm pathetic" I mean...

[karmattack]

See, my problem was the phrase "on occasion." Now, if she would have said "all the damned time," then we might have had something to talk aboot.

[Mighty_Wingman]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
This is the most full-of-shit post ever on MPS... and that's saying a lot.

[/ QUOTE ]

Full of shit ? Not at all . Let me put it to you like this R.B. Would you rather date Paris Hilton or Jeanine Garofalo ?
I'll take substance over style any day of the week and twice on Sunday. See, I could actually have conversation with Jeanine.

Not that either one of them is beating down my door. /forums/images/icons/confused.gif

[ILovePapaSmurf]

<font color="purple">You know, being a young adult and all, I do have my ideals of a perfect man, however, knowing how society works and who ever is the puppeteer in this lavish life of mine, that wont work. Cause you know I only have a 1.25 percent of meeting Elijah Wood.

As far as what I am looking for now, just someone who gets me you know..
</font color>

[jjcourtright]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
I have pretty much given up on the perfect girl, she don't exist. So I'll stick wih whatever chick wants me.

[/ QUOTE ] So, you've decided on celibacy?

Man, you people are slacking. How am I the first to run with this?

[Razorback]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Let me put it to you like this R.B. Would you rather date Paris Hilton or Jeanine Garofalo ?

[/ QUOTE ]

That is a loaded question.

1) I LOVE Janeane Garofalo!

2) I am not a fan of Paris.

3) I always look for substance over heat (though I do not run from the heat).

RB

[Mighty_Wingman]

Okay, then you at least partly understand what I'm saying, and yes the question was loaded and pointed at you with the safety off.
What I'm looking for is a package deal. I know there's no such thing as a perfect woman and I wouldn't be worthy of her, if there was . But the people I get along with best aren't always the most attractive.

And J.J. YES, that was very funny !

[Razorback]

I like imperfections.

RB

[RobinHoodDaffy]

Man, the perfect woman is out there. I should know, she found me. The perfect woman is someone who you can be glad to see every day. A woman who you can look back at years of being together and say, "damn, where did the time go". My girlfriend and I have been together for 12 years come January 7th. You just find someone who's quirks fit yours, and run with it. It is a beautiful thing. So I guess what I am saying is no one should have to settle for someone to spend their life with. Life is too damned short. I can't imagine a life with out my baby. Perfect is real and perfect is out there.

[Razorback]

Oh, shut up.

Fuckin' happy mother [censored] who got lucky in life babbling on about a 0.00000000000001% chance fantasy. SHUT IT!

RB

[psychofiend]

I don't get it... /forums/images/icons/grin.gif

[Razorback]

You are still young... you will understand in about 15 years, or 3 relationships.

RB

[Mighty_Wingman]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Man, the perfect woman is out there. I should know, she found me. The perfect woman is someone who you can be glad to see every day. A woman who you can look back at years of being together and say, "damn, where did the time go". My girlfriend and I have been together for 12 years come January 7th. You just find someone who's quirks fit yours, and run with it. It is a beautiful thing. So I guess what I am saying is no one should have to settle for someone to spend their life with. Life is too damned short. I can't imagine a life with out my baby. Perfect is real and perfect is out there.

[/ QUOTE ]

You touch me man .


No. I mean, stop touching me !!!

[RobinHoodDaffy]

Let's just pretend I never said all this. 'Kay?

[psychofiend]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
You are still young... you will understand in about 15 years, or 3 relationships.

[/ QUOTE ]
Maybe I will /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif

[Denyse]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Now, if she would have said "all the damned time," then we might have had something to talk aboot.

[/ QUOTE ]

My bad..."All the damn time" works for me. Oh, and when did you start writing with a Canadian accent?

[Denyse]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
I only have a 1.25 percent of meeting Elijah Wood.

[/ QUOTE ]
If you go to the SD Comicon your odds improve significantly...I met him there twice. Should we reserve you a ticket for '04?

[RobinHoodDaffy]

ehh, forgive that bile I just thrust out. Don't know why I got all wiggy. Maybe I will just take a nap.

[Omaru]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
I like imperfections.

[/ QUOTE ]
me too, I mean imagine the perfect woman, she would probably let you shower naked with her but not go the full nelson, and instead teach you how to be popular, stand up for yourself and score you some other girl who you liked....and who would want that?

[Razorback]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Now I have to admit that pisses me off

[/ QUOTE ]

Then you are hyper-sensitive.

RB

P.S.

Everyone has a story... yours isn't necessarily worse than someone elses. Lighten up, it was said with a tongue planted firmly in cheek.

[ILovePapaSmurf]

<font color="purple">Do I have to even answer that? /forums/images/icons/wink.gif</font color>

[RobinHoodDaffy]

uh, yeah, when I re-read I saw the tongue in your cheek. Already said sorry. Just hit me wrong, don't know why. Oopsie! Still uh....Pals?....at least indifferent?

[Razorback]

I didn't like you anyway, so it didn't change our relationship at all. /forums/images/icons/wink.gif (see, I left a winkey in there... hint)

RB

[RobinHoodDaffy]

OOOOhhhh...a winkie. I'm all a-tingle. /forums/images/icons/grin.gif

[psychofiend]

I wanna meet Elijah Wood...

[Efexeye]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Like John Cusack says in "High Fidelity" there are certain people at the age of 27 who think they will be alone for the rest of their lives...I am one of those people.



[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, I hear that. I mean, how the hell am I going to meet someone anyway? I hate the bar scene, and I teach middle school, so all the women I work with are young married teachers. I always think back to that Seinfeld episode where George says that he can't possibly conceive of any situation in which the opportunity to have sex may present itself. It's not really that extreme, but, seriously, how the HELL am I going to do it?

[Mighty_Wingman]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
I mean, how the hell am I going to meet someone anyway?

[/ QUOTE ]

Book clubs/stores ? Coffee Shops ? Excersizing at the Park ? Volunteer Work ( chicks dig guys with big hearts) ?
failing that there's always Bingo Parlors and ( God Forbid )personal ads ?

My best advice Efexeye is to get involved in something you're interested in ( club or group ) it's the best way to find someone with similar interests.

[karmattack]

I met my longest running girlfriend on match.com
[shrug]

[FanGirl]

My cousin met his soon to be wife at yahoo personals. I have had no luck however. Didn't Ryall make some sort of claim that if anyone meets and gets engaged over moviepoopshoot.com, that he'll pay for the wedding.

[Robbo_the_Hood]

Shut up. You're going to give Zens ideas.

[Zens_7s]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
I wanna meet Elijah Wood...

[/ QUOTE ]
Well, for PapaSmurf, my college boyfriend is a exact double of Elijah. Wierdly so. People used to stop him all the time. Hence why I complained once in a thread about not being able to watch any movie he is in without Lord of the Rings makeup. It REALLY gets to me. I avoid all interviews too. It is rare to find a guy with eyes like that. Dammit, I am getting misty. MUST BLOCK THE MENTAL PICTURES!

So make I could fix you up PapaSmurf. He is single again, last I talked to him. /forums/images/icons/wink.gif

[Omaru]

Does that work on older films too? like forever young?

[Dave]

Wait, hold on, wait a minute.

"Man, the perfect woman is out there. I should know, she found me... ...My girlfriend and I have been together for 12 years come January 7th."

So if she is the perfect woman, why is she still your girlfriend after 12 years.

[karmattack]

Is generosity NOT a redeeming quality?

[Zens_7s]

Anything post-North. Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!

Elijah...sigh. Mike...oh dammit, this MUST STOP!
http://users.iafrica.com/b/ba/barrattp/dark.jpg

[Mighty_Wingman]

I'm going to venture a guess in his abscence, that they agree that you don't need a ritual or a piece of paper to justify their perfect loving relationship.

[Asteban]

<font color="green"> Well, I'm going way back to page one here, because I was gone for 5 hours and there were 60 more posts. See what happens when I leave. Anyway, thank you Droogan for the compliment about my baking and Led Zeppelin. Two things that I love to do. Except baking can sometimes get on my nerves if its all I do for hours(*grumble grumble*).

And in reply to this whole thing about "the perfect woman" or "the perfect man". I don't believe that it is true. Not perfect, just perfect to that person(which I think is the point anyway). Maybe not even PERFECT for that person actually. Without disagreements about things it would just be too weird don't you think. Now, in the 6 months I've been with my boyfriend, we've never had an 'arguement' but we have disagreed on things. Doesn't bother me, doesn't bother him, and we're all happy. But it seems that topic has died and has now switched over to Elijah Wood. He kicks butt in LotR, enough said. Heh heh. </font color>

[ILovePapaSmurf]

<font color="purple">Stop teasing a girl! *sigh* You know if he ever came to my room, would he find it scary that I have a LOTR banner with him on it that is almost as tall as I am?</font color>

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
So make I could fix you up PapaSmurf. He is single again, last I talked to him

[/ QUOTE ]

<font color="purple">Humm...That actually sounds really nice..How tall is he?</font color>

[Zens_7s]

6'1". So a bit taller than the hobbit, but a full scale hottie. I think you can sign me up for the crazy club of america for letting him go and picking Mr. Wrong instead.

[ILovePapaSmurf]

<font color="purple">Wow, 6'1" is a nice height for my taste. /forums/images/icons/smile.gif So, why not.

Just a little side note, I am really short, 4'11" to be exact, so if he digs short girls....

And I'll put you on that list zens, after my name for letting my best guy friend go and get married.</font color>

[ratm1966]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
In reply to:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Uhm yeah , I'm gonna go ahead and kind of, disagree here. I've often had the " spark " with girls who weren't that attractive physically.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



This is the most full-of-shit post ever on MPS... and that's saying a lot.

[/ QUOTE ]

RB....What I think he meant to say was, he was so drunk he woke up with a coyote ugly a few times.