Office politics

[Droogan_Leader]

Hey gang, I come to you for advice. I'm new at my job, and as usual when I'm new in an office setting, I usually keep to myself. This is especially the case considering the kind of work I'm doing, which is basically an independent project, totally separate from the work my co-workers do.

Maybe the problem's in my head, but I have had such nightmarish experiences in office jobs before, hence the avatar. Let me lay it out for you..

I dated one of the girls there. She's pregnant with another guy's child (I found this out while we were 'hanging out'. She and all the other girls, mostly in their late 20s and up, are chummy. There are two middle-aged men, and volunteers who come and go. I'm getting bad vibes from one of the girl's friends, who sits behind me, has no authority over me, but seems to want to tell me when to come to work, when to get back from break, whether or not to do this and that and so on. Understand, I am sensitive to being new, so I'm not exaggerating. Some of it may be in my head, but I'm just not sure. I don't think there are any bad vibes from the girl I dated, just a lot of 'girl talk'. That pisses me off, because I am surrounded by all her friends. Is there any way to keep them from getting out of control, should things get worse?

Is it possible to keep an office job from turning into a nightmare? How do you experienced Poop Shoot office vets deal with funky office workers who maybe get into your business too much, or never are able to relinquish the feelings of authority they might think they have over you as a newbie?

Any thoughts are appreciated /forums/images/icons/grin.gif

[psychofiend]

I think that you shouldn't participate in office politics. Although, I must admit I didn't read what you wrote. /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif

[Ryall]

>Is it possible to keep an office job from turning into a nightmare?

No.

>How do you experienced Poop Shoot office vets deal with funky office workers who maybe get into your business too much, or never are able to relinquish the feelings of authority they might think they have over you as a newbie?

I ban them!

Seriously, you dated one of the girls there? Oh, they're definitely talking about you, just know that. But as long as it didn't end too badly, you shouldn't have to worry much about that. They're probably just lording it over you right now since you're new--established groups of friends at work always feel a little threatened by someone new changing the dynamic, so they bust balls while they can. But you're never the new guy for long, so I'd say just ride it out for now. And don't knock any of your co-workers up, that never really goes well.

[Mighty_Wingman]

Since you mention that you're working on an "independant" project, is there any way you could take your source material home and work from there ?

That usually keeps me out of the office politics and b.s.
The biggest problem is when I do go in twice a week and sometimes for an entire day , people say things like: Huh ? You still work here ?

[Dave]

Yeah, that one girl may just be a bitch. Some people want to control over everything in the office, that will probably lessen the longer you work there. Just ride it out.

[Droogan_Leader]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Although, I must admit I didn't read what you wrote.

[/ QUOTE ]
I count on that, psycho. I actually made my post long so I wouldn't get a lot of responses. Most who don't know or care about office politics AND who have short attention spans won't make it through my post, thereby saving me time.

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
No.


[/ QUOTE ]
I had to laugh at that one, but it really is no fair you can just ban people you don't like! What can I say though, you're good at your job /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
As long as it didn't end too badly

[/ QUOTE ]
It didn't. I guess I just hate being new. Thanks for the insights man! /forums/images/icons/cool.gif

[Droogan_Leader]

&gt;any way you could take your source material home

Unfortunately, no. That's part of the deal. The difficult thing is, sometimes they want me to talk, and be part of the 'office environment' and get in on their girly conversations about La Maz and all that jazz, and I'm trying to read a 100 page report I have to be in a meeting for all day the next day. It's a weird predicament, but I think the guys are right--I can ride it out, I just wanted to know if you all thought there was hope of it working out okay.

In most cases, I'm not so crazy as to date someone from work, and I considered turning down the job because of the unusual situation it would doubtless create, but the job was too good to let it slide. So, I'll make it.

[JIM]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
I'm getting bad vibes from one of the girl's friends, who sits behind me, has no authority over me, but seems to want to tell me when to come to work, when to get back from break, whether or not to do this and that and so on.

[/ QUOTE ]

Most of us at one time or another have had a busybody pull crap like that.
Nip in in the ass now before it's too late.
Just tell her: "Nyah, Shut you're stinking PIEHOLE nosy McGee!!!" "You're not the boss of me, see!?"
You must do it in a "old time" gangster voice of course...
Then, as your standing in the unemployment line, you can reminisce on those good times gone past...
Anyway... You really should tell her to mind her own business. If not, stuff like that usually gets worse.
Just do it in an "office friendly" manner, 'cause you don't need H.R. calling you in for a "meeting".
God... I hate that term "Office Friendly"...

Uh, while were at it...

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
I dated one of the girls there. She's pregnant with another guy's child (I found this out while we were 'hanging out'. She and all the other girls, mostly in their late 20s and up, are chummy. There are two middle-aged men, and volunteers who come and go.

[/ QUOTE ]

The father of her child is one of the "middle aged guys" !?
Ewwwwww!
That's some Weird ass "Who's your daddy?" stuff going on there... /forums/images/icons/grin.gif
Or am I just reading into this wrong?

[Droogan_Leader]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
"Nyah, Shut you're stinking PIEHOLE nosy McGee!!!" "You're not the boss of me, see!?"

[/ QUOTE ]
That is some funny stuff, man. I tried it in the old gangster voice too.

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
The father of her child is one of the "middle aged guys" !?


[/ QUOTE ]
He he, no, that would be too weird. It's still weird though, 'cause the father does bring her lunch from time to time, and I just sit there thinking, man, this is awkward. This girl has no scruples, I don't think. Or, maybe she's just so tacky she doesn't care. She was banging this guy while she was just 'friends' with me, although we engaged in amorous activities. Mind you, we were just 'friends' because she was still getting over her last boyfriend. Jeez, I'm glad now I didn't really give a flip how it turned out /forums/images/icons/grin.gif

[psychofiend]

Piehole, now there is a classic. /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif

[Zens_7s]

Unfortunately, office politics are an unavoidable part of the world.

Here is my two cent advice:

When it comes to womenly gossip, ignore it. Be nice. Nice to the point of grit-your-teeth politeness, but do not EVER participate in the bashing of anyone behind their back, or tolerate it in your presence. If that talk comes around, leave with a normal excuse like "I have to grab a Coke" and walk away. The worst thing you can do is say "I don't like to talk about other people". It labels you the enemy. Simply find a normal excuse to leave and never add to the conversation.

If the talk is about you, as it sounds like it may be, figure you have a small hurdle to overcome. If you treat people with respect (which I am sure you do considering your great personality Droogan) you will be able to win over the more important influences. When it comes to the office, people that are gossips are liked by everybody, and mistrusted by everyone, equally. It is almost impossible for a gossip to diss you without looking bad if you out-gentleman them, or out-nice them. It just makes them look like an ass to pick on the person who is respectful to everyone. This does not mean that you cannot be fun. There is a large divide between "funny" and "funny at others expense" in the business world.

[Omaru]

You should copy most film heroes who have terrible occupations and just don't make the effort to care for your job so much.
Me for example. I play solitaire, freecell and otehr games when I don't have work to do, because I dont have work to do.
In my previous job I was the guy who would shorten his break so someone else could go eat, or would do the overtime when no one else would, Call me a sad bastard but if I was you I'd put in some formal complaint against the person.

[code6enterprises]

I've managed to avoid all office jobs unless you count teaching at a high school an office job. I woudn't. I mean, you can think what you want but I wouldn't consider a high school an office job. Yea.

[Droogan_Leader]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
which I am sure you do considering your great personality Droogan

[/ QUOTE ]
Thanks for good advice and the vote of confidence, Zen. Thanks to you other guys for the advice too.

[marksiwel]

Well if things get very very very bad, there is a sell at Academy Sports and Outdoors they have a great deal on shotgun shells and black powder.

I kid, I kid. If she is telling you what to do, just do whatever you want. "Get back from your break at 3" make sure to get back at 3:05. If she says something about it "Oh well you see MY BOSS said it was okay, and seeing as your not my boss, draw your conculsions." then Smile give her a wink and walk away. Maybe give a little shurg.

[karmattack]

The strange thing I've found about office politics is that there are very few absolutes. Zens made an important point about NOT talking behind anyone's back. Never involve yourself in any of that, even if it's laughing at someone's comment. Also, leave your home life at home and don't tell co-workers your personal business. This is true for other situations too (some friends and family), but people who aren't actively associated with your personal life can use it to make judgements about you. People don't need to know if you're trying to quit smoking, broke up with a girl, dieting or whatever because you look weak if you go back on it. Another absolute that I've learned is one you've already crossed over which is to never get romantically involved with someone from the office (or more importantly, AT the office). I've made this mistake twice and to clarify, it was a mistake both times. Well, one of them was extremely worth it, but I digress. It ends up badly.

Other things though, are up in the air. Some people respect you when you confront them. Others vow to eviscerate you over the embarrassment. Sometimes when you keep to yourself, people think you're a confident, diligent worker. Other times, they think you are unsociable and weird. I choose to make friends and hang out with people from the office, but that can be mistaken for ambition or whatever.

I think the most important thing to do -- and this is true with most anything -- is to make the dicision you personally think is morally right because, at the end of the day, you are truly the only person who needs to be happy about it.

[Razorback]

Here is something that I have learned... if you are waiting on a locked-in promotion, to another department, to go through don't burn bridges with anyone while you wait.

You may find yourself on a list of those let go (despite the fact that you no longer work for that department, and yet somehow HR loses your transfer papers and now you are not only not going to get the promotion but YOU ARE OUT OF A JOB!).

RB