Casa De Thom - About Town and Off The Radar

[Thom_Fowler]

/forums/images/icons/grin.gif Welcome to the House of Fun! I know that is ALSO the name of Evan Dorkin's internet dealio but it's also a lyric from a Madness song, which I, in all probability, experienced concurrently with said Mr. Dorkin so I too have some kind of cultural claim on the phrase.

This is the place to talk to me, or about me or about anything that falls under the rubric of Thomosity and if you've been reading my columns, you have a good idea what that is. Lies, scandal and gossip is especially welcome. Or comments and suggestions.

You can still email me, though. Without email, there's nothing for the Mail Shoot! It's a tightly woven ecology here, moving one small thing could have disastrous consequences for the whole.

So welcome, denizens of poptopia, revolutionaries, rapscallions and renegades. Welcome to the House of Fun!
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[Crystal]

Hi Thom...are you sticking a shoe heel in your eye in that pic? What's got you so upset, man? /forums/images/icons/confused.gif

[Thom_Fowler]

No way petita chiquita, that's no shoe in my eye.

It's Agent 99's shoe phone. That's my secret agent ID photo. <font color="blue"> </font color> I took another picture (can you believe I worked at getting that photo?) from the opposite angle and I didn't like my profile, although the shoe phone effect was more evident.

However, now that you mention it, I like the idea of stabbing myself in the eye with stilletto heel.

That shoe, by the way, was painted and sculpted to resemble the California Poppy.

So, it's not just a shoe-phone, It's a California Poppy Shoe Phone ... stabbing me in the eye, on my bad side.

because I'm trying to kill the evil in my eye. Like how Luke had to kill his Darth. Who was actually his father. So what is Lucas trying to say about boys and their fathers? We have to kill our internalized father to become independant, autonomous, mature men? How many visits to the therapist is THAT going to take?

Also I don't want to accidentily give anyone the evil eye.

and an added bonus side effect is that then I can get a Bionic Eye - which is a lot cheaper to get now than when Steve Austin got his in that very early reality TV show.

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[Crystal]

I'm glad that the people who allowed to have avs on this board aren't using that privilege to show pictures of them mutilating themselves...

Hmm...that shoe doesn't look like a poppy, although I can't remember the last time I was outside so I could be wrong. Going by the Claritin commercials though, it just looks like a shoe to me. I wish I could get my shoes to do that though...I don't believe in cell phones. Actually, I know they exist but I don't want one.

I dunno about Star Wars...I haven't seen any of them. I thought Jabba was prettier than Luke when I was younger and I've never been into sci-fi. I might break down and watch 'em when all nine are done.

If you could have a bionic eye, what color would you choose? And more importantly, what special powers? I think I'd pick purple and the power to see through The Mewes' dressing room...from my house.

[Thom_Fowler]

I want the clear one like in the Steve Austin 10 inch action figure. There was a hole in the head and you could look through the hole in the back of the head through the clear eye, like a peephole in a door.

FYI, Steve Austin and G I Joe could wear each other's clothes.

As far as special powers ... I dunno, standard issue bionic - with eagle vision. The physics are all wrong for an x-ray eye, not to mention a radiation hazard. You'll have brain cancer in no time.

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[Omaru]

I'd like a cybernetic eye that links up to my brain and can also gain information from satellites, control conputer through the power of though, I'd be a walking unstoppable force sort of cyber psychic and I'd know alot of top secret stuff and all the usualess crap floating around on the net too like "wearing underwear inside out doubles its wearing time for at least another 3 days" muahahahha

[Thom_Fowler]

is what you'd be.

and dude, that's gross about the underwear.

I think the Internet, like all media, is an extension of our nervous system. So in a way, I already feel like a cyborg. We ARE cyborgs.

[Omaru]

I get that alot, and the undewear thing is just typical gross joke. at least with the eye implany hooked into my brain I might have a better memory.

[Dave]

"FYI, Steve Austin and G I Joe could wear each other's clothes. "

not only did they trade cloths, but the slept in the same shoebox at my house. Go Joe!!!

I don't want that crazy eye though, i'd rather have that cool roll up skin on my arm.

[Thom_Fowler]

My G.I.Joe came with a green wood army looking box and that's where I kept him, far from the wandering eyes of Steve Austin.

During that period of time when the two Bionic shows were in primetime, my friends and I used to play "Bionic Woman and the Fembots." or we'd re-enact the Bionic Man vs. Saskwatch. I remember the night that aired for the first time. I thought Saskwatch was scary.

I thought the Fembots were scary, too. The part we'd do over and over is when Jamie Summers tears off one of the Fembots face and you just see those eyeballs and a bunch of wires.

We would walk around with our eyes open real wide, staring straight ahead and move our jaw up and down real fast and do a bunch of slow-motion throws.

Jamie Summers always had to win so we'd just try to get really creative with our fights before whoever was being Jamie finally started to win in order to prolong the game.

When was that show even on? 1977? 78? My whole childhood was all about responding to television.

[Dave]

i know what you mean. How many of us tryed to jump some ramp made of plywood and cynderblocks pretending to be Evel Kenevel. Just get going as fast as you could go down your neighborhoods big hill and launching yourself off some rickety ass ramp.

Perhaps the dumbest thing i did as a kid though was BB gun wars in the woods, pretending to be GI Joe or Sgt. Rock or something like that. To make sure we were safe, i the rule was you couldn't pump you gun more than 5 times. It's amazing no one lost any eye, cause you can be sure we didn't have any safety googles on.

[Thom_Fowler]

Hehe. BB Gun Wars. I think you and I had the same childhood. We even had the same "number of pumps" rule.

and people think that only sissy-boys grow up to be fags.

We used to have this "Snow Stunt Rider" club and every year we'd build these hellacious snow runs and in order to get into the club, you had to wipe out in some really spectacular way without actually getting hurt. I lived in a very small mountain town and there were really only four of us who played together but still we all had to follow the rules until eventually we all got in.

And then we elected officers.

One year, after our run had been hard packed, I used a flexible vinyl sledding sheet and went head first down the hills, around the curves, over the jumps and headed right for a truck at the bottom of the hill. There was a log at the bottom of the run which we'd fly over and into the street (the possibility of actually getting run over by a car was just part of the fun) and the truck was parked alongside the log. Since my sled was flexible, I instinctively went limp (because somewhere along the way, I learned that going limp is the best way to avoid serious injury when falling out of trees of crashing on your bike.) and slid over the log and down underneath the truck to emerge on the other side.

I was president of the Stunt Rider Club for the rest of that winter.