PDA

View Full Version : The Onion . . .

Robbo_the_Hood
10-23-2003, 02:52 PM
is at it again. Oh my God, it's the story of my life (http://www.theonion.com/3941/news2.html) .

I tell you, they have that Encyclopedia Brown article the week after I make an allusion to him, and how this? They're getting too close.

Who here is stalking me?
FanGirl
10-23-2003, 02:56 PM
The Onion is the best. I loved when that Japenese newspaper picked up one of their stories as an actual news event.
MattSinger
10-23-2003, 03:29 PM
That's a keeper. Although if it had been Charlie's Angels 2, it would have been even funnier.
jjcourtright
10-23-2003, 03:39 PM
When I read that, Robbo was the first person I thought of.
Matt1
10-23-2003, 05:08 PM
Yeah, I worked at a video store and I can certainly relate to that. But what's even worse than somebody renting a bad movie is when you recomend a good movie to them and they look at you with utter disgust and contempt.

Me: "Y'know, if you're interested in that movie, you'd probably want to check out George Romero's Dawn of the Dead."

Them (if they've even heard of Dawn of the Dead): "Isn't that all old and stuff? Ick. No, I'll just stick with Resident Evil. Thanks."
ILovePapaSmurf
10-23-2003, 05:09 PM
<font color="purple"> I wish my video store clerk would have stopped me from renting Spice World. </font color>
jjcourtright
10-23-2003, 05:11 PM
I wish my video store clerk would have stopped me from seeing Spice World in the theatre.
ILovePapaSmurf
10-23-2003, 05:13 PM
<font color="purple">*runs in with a 'sporty' oufit and her hair in a high pony tail*

GIRL POWER!!!!!

*runs out* </font color>
Matt1
10-23-2003, 05:17 PM
Your video store clerk allowed you to rent Spice World? For a clerk that should be a throw yourself into the line of fire, take a bullet, stop at all costs rental decision! There is a time for civility and a time for action, and that clerk should've told you outright what a pice of shit that was. This is a clear case of dereliction of movie store clerk duty.
Robbo_the_Hood
10-23-2003, 05:21 PM
I still like recommending The Boondock Saints, and people look at me funny because they've never heard of it. If they do rent it, they always like it, but they still rent the most god awful shit they can find.

The longer I work there, the more I realize the accuracy of Clerks.
Droogan_Leader
10-23-2003, 05:36 PM
You and Matt1 seem to be the exception--every movie clerk I talk to doesn't know as much about movies as I do. Maybe I missed my calling--after all, I do have a masochistic streak, and people seem to like telling me "Thanks but no thanks for your recommendation [scumbag]."

Since I know you don't hear it enough, guys, thanks for doing what you do. /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif
Robbo_the_Hood
10-24-2003, 02:45 AM
Well, they can't be too close, because I put in my two week notice today.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Robbo will no longer be part of the most hated group in America. No more arguing over late fees, no idiot customers renting shit. I'm going to work in a bookstore where maybe people will have some class.
Matt1
10-24-2003, 05:51 PM
Matt1 giggles at the thought of Robbo grimacing while ringing up yet another Danielle Steel fan
Robbo_the_Hood
10-25-2003, 02:06 PM
She still writes books? I thought people had evolved past her after they lost that slump in their foreheads. Shit.
psychofiend
10-25-2003, 03:10 PM
My mom reads Danielle Steel but then again she is a [censored] psychotic Irish woman.
Matt1
10-26-2003, 12:35 AM
Everyone's mom reads Danielle Steel.
Robbo_the_Hood
10-26-2003, 01:02 AM
Not my momma.
Matt1
10-26-2003, 01:06 AM
Yo momma reads Dr. Phil!

Mark this in your history books as the first literary reference in a "yo momma" joke in world history.
Zens_7s
10-26-2003, 01:09 AM
My mother would beat me if I read romance novels and Dr. Phil. Yes, that is present tense. She would still beat me.
Robbo_the_Hood
10-26-2003, 01:14 AM
Your momma doesn't read anything that Oprah didn't tell her to.
Matt1
10-26-2003, 01:18 AM
Yo momma has no grasp of the underlying themes and metaphors of Joseph Conrad's profoundly disturbing 1898 novella Heart of Darkness. Bitch.
Robbo_the_Hood
10-26-2003, 01:20 AM
You're momma thinks there are complex metaphors in John Grisham novels.
Matt1
10-26-2003, 01:25 AM
Yo momma owns every edition of Chicken Soup for the Soul, including the teen one!
Robbo_the_Hood
10-26-2003, 01:32 AM
Your momma read Bridges of Madison County and Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood because the movies "spoke to her."
DangerSeeker
10-26-2003, 07:25 PM
Dr. Phil looks too much like Hank Kingsley to be taken seriously.