Off the Bench #10 - The return [Archive]

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irwin1227

09-11-2003, 09:19 AM

Greetings from the great state of Texas.
First off I was to say that it’s been awhile since I’ve thrown one of these columns together. A simple explanation really….my wife and I are expecting another child in October and this pregnancy hasn’t been exactly all wine and cheese. So I’ve been stepping up my involvement around the home in order to make sure things are right with ball. But enough about me….lets do this…

•Ohio State running back Maurice Claurett was suspended for an entire season yesterday for violating NCAA rules in regard to lying on a police report. Even though he will not play, he is still under scholarship for this year. So a dummy gets paid to go to school when you know he won’t even take any class harder than History of Rap Part 1.
I agree with the fact that this guy should be punished. He lied to police, that is not a good thing. But suspending him for the whole season? That’s ludicrous. I believe it was Lawrence Phillips who got a two game suspension years back for dragging his girlfriend by her hair down a hallway. So don’t lie to cops because you wont play for a year, but abuse a woman and well tap you on the wrist.
Another reason to believe that the NCAA and college athletics are ran by a bunch of morons.

•I don’t ever remember a time in baseball where more teams were involved in a pennant race. I’m not a traditionalist, so adding a wild card team to me was no big deal. I thought it gave more chances to win a title, and it added more excitement to the game. This season proves me right on both points. Commissioner Bud Selig may have been wrong on a lot of things, but this is one system that he has right.
My pick for the World Series? Look no further than the Boston Red Sox. Well, anyone but those bastard Yankees.

•This week’s marquee match up in the NFL – Dallas at NY Giants. It will be the first time that the Big Tuna Bill Parcells makes his way to one of his old stomping ground as the coach of the Dallas Cowboys. Make no mistake about it though; the Cowboys are an average team. But this is an average league so don’t be surprised if quarterback Quincy Carter can lead his team to victory.
I find the commercials for Monday Night Football with Lawrence Taylor hilarious. He seems to have lost more weight. I wonder why that could be? *cough crack *cough

•Did anyone else find it hilarious that Kevin Harvick would jump on top of another driver’s car to prove a point? Sure Harvick was going for his fourth top five finish in a row in Winston Cup Races. I would be upset too if my car was bumped out of contention, but this was almost a scene out of Dukes of Hazard. Maybe driving Dale Earnhardt’s car automatically gives you a short fuse.

And now some quick hits….

•Andy Roddick won his first grand slam title at the US Open in men’s tennis. Does the fact that I couldn’t pick him out in a police lineup say something about me, or the status of men’s tennis in general?

•We are only a few weeks away from the NHL starting up training camp for the new seasons. Are there any teams left in Canada anymore? They did start this sport by golly.

•Another great season for Alex Rodriguez, another season without an MVP award. Just need some wins to go with it.

•Rush Limbaugh is now on ESPN NFL Countdown. Interesting. So now he has a chance to be wrong about another subject.

•Let it be said that the best food item at a sports stadium is nachos. The cheese can be used for topping and hair gel all at once.

Until next week....(hopefully)
dan

EternalStrife

09-11-2003, 09:57 AM

Congragulations, man. Sorry to say, though, I'm not much of a sports fan. Except for basketball. Even then, I haven't been following the game as of late.

Razorback

09-11-2003, 11:24 AM

Ummm... so I can start posting my personal essays here, and treat them like MPS articles too?

<blockquote>In reply to:<hr />
Even though he will not play, he is still under scholarship for this year. So a dummy gets paid to go to school when you know he won’t even take any class harder than History of Rap Part 1.

[/ QUOTE ]

That is pretty ignorant. A dummy? Do you know anything about this his intelligence? Rap Part 1? This sounds prejudicial.

Oh, and his name is Maurice CLARETT. You need to work on your ism's and fact checking.

<blockquote>In reply to:<hr />
My pick for the World Series? Look no further than the Boston Red Sox. Well, anyone but those bastard Yankees

[/ QUOTE ]

Great, pick the only team that has no chance to win it. I would love to see the Red Sox win (if only to see the death of the "Curse") but they won't. I don't even think that my Yankees have a chance to win it all.

<blockquote>In reply to:<hr />
Make no mistake about it though; the Cowboys are an average team. But this is an average league so don’t be surprised if quarterback Quincy Carter can lead his team to victory

[/ QUOTE ]

Were you high when you wrote this? One of the best defenses in football is going to lose the game to Carter? If the Giants lose it will be because of their offense fumbling (over and over again) the ball as if it was coated with slip-um.

<blockquote>In reply to:<hr />
but this was almost a scene out of Dukes of Hazard. Maybe driving Dale Earnhardt’s car automatically gives you a short fuse.

[/ QUOTE ]

This comment would have been current a year ago. Harvick now drives Harvick's car. See, new NASCAR regulations do not allow teams to use 2001 cars. Is Harvick driving for the Man in Black's team? Yes, but he is really not driving his car. Plus, when did Earnhardt do anything like that? I really don't like the comparisons between Harvick and Earnhardt because they are completely different personalities with totally different driving styles. Earnhardt INTIMIDATED people, he did not need to punch them in the face or walk on top of their car. He was too badass for that.

<blockquote>In reply to:<hr />
Does the fact that I couldn’t pick him out in a police lineup say something about me, or the status of men’s tennis in general?

[/ QUOTE ]

It says to me that before you write more of these that you should actually get to know sports.

<blockquote>In reply to:<hr />
Are there any teams left in Canada anymore?

[/ QUOTE ]

There are 5. Montreal Canadiens, Edmonton Oilers, Ottawa Senators, Toronto Maple Leafs, and Vancouver Canucks. Perhaps if Canadians supported their teams better there would be more.

<blockquote>In reply to:<hr />
Rush Limbaugh is now on ESPN NFL Countdown. Interesting. So now he has a chance to be wrong about another subject

[/ QUOTE ]

Or right, depending on the viewers point of view. I guess that if you are famous and like a sport that you get a job commenting about it. Reminds me of something ABC did with Monday Night Football...

<blockquote>In reply to:<hr />
Let it be said that the best food item at a sports stadium is nachos. The cheese can be used for topping and hair gel all at once

[/ QUOTE ]

I still think that hotdogs, pretzels, and beer are the best food items at sporting events.

RB

Robbo_the_Hood

09-11-2003, 01:18 PM

Look everyone. Pay attention to RB. He posted something. Regardless if he needed to or not. Regardless if it was even funny or not.

(insert emoticon)

jjcourtright

09-11-2003, 02:19 PM

<blockquote>In reply to:<hr />
•Andy Roddick won his first grand slam title at the US Open in men’s tennis. Does the fact that I couldn’t pick him out in a police lineup say something about me, or the status of men’s tennis in general?

[/ QUOTE ] So, I caught Andy Roddick on Regis and Kelly on Tuesday(don't ask). And he seemed like a pretty cool guy. He was quick witted and ripping on Regis pretty good. Before that, I wouldn't have recognized him. But now, I will have to keep an eye on him.

DarthMaulRat

09-11-2003, 02:34 PM

Yeah RB! Way to divide and attack that entire article! Seriously, you should be a philosopher or the captain of a debate team. I've never seen such a display of hostility, picking at every single point. No disrespect to Irwin, its always great to see someone who's not afraid to state so many opinions. I'm just a fan of destructive criticism.

Well, being a Pennsylvanian, I'm obligated to root for the Philly teams. But after seeing the Eagles get their new stadium painted with a thick coat of ass kicking, I'm haveing second thoughts. And third thoughts. And fourth thoughts. Those third and fourth thoughts agree with the second thought, which says "Until the Eagles get their offense together, they're useless". Don't even get me started on the Phillies, they're an embarassment. Well, still got the Flyers to look forward to.

And pretzels are the best stadium food, because of their throwing distance. Face it, you'll never get a beer cup past the 200 level, but a pretzel can sail down the stands and into the ref's thick, fat head.

jjcourtright

09-11-2003, 02:40 PM

<blockquote>In reply to:<hr />
But after seeing the Eagles get their new stadium painted with a thick coat of ass kicking

[/ QUOTE ] Great line. The Eagles are going to be bad all season because Duce/Duece? held out of camp. He won't be the same until next season.
<blockquote>In reply to:<hr />
Face it, you'll never get a beer cup past the 200 level

[/ QUOTE ] True, but those plastic bottles fly like a muthafucka.

DarthMaulRat

09-11-2003, 02:46 PM

I haven't seen those plastic beer bottles in Philly yet. Probably because Philadelphia fans can fashion a riot weapon out of just about everything. City of Brotherly Love? Yeah right.

Ryall

09-11-2003, 03:06 PM

>Ummm... so I can start posting my personal essays here, and treat them like MPS articles too?

It's a message board--post whatever you like. That doesn't have to mean only overly aggressive replies to other people's sports-related posts. This was a pretty harsh reply, man. We rip on the morons for posting just empty crap about Jay & Bob, so why bust on someone for posting something with more to say than those guys? Disagreeing is fine -- I don't really agree with what anyone from Texas says about sports, but humor him--your reply was pretty overtly hostile.

>It says to me that before you write more of these that you should actually get to know sports.

C'mon...before he won the Open, the only thing anyone knew about Andy Roddick was that he was dating Mandy Moore.

>I still think that hotdogs, pretzels, and beer are the best food items at sporting events.

How come no one outside of L.A. mentions the sushi at baseball games...?

The best food I've ever had at a baseball game was that sandwhich at the Pirates's new ballpark.

jjcourtright

09-11-2003, 04:01 PM

<blockquote>In reply to:<hr />
C'mon...before he won the Open, the only thing anyone knew about Andy Roddick was that he was dating Mandy Moore.

[/ QUOTE ] I must be really behind. I didn't even know that until I watched Regis and Kelly.

Droogan_Leader

09-11-2003, 05:18 PM

<blockquote>In reply to:<hr />
I must be really behind. I didn't even know that until I watched Regis and Kelly.

[/ QUOTE ]

You're behind? Who's Kelly? What happened to Kathy Lee?

psychofiend

09-11-2003, 05:20 PM

I actually think Kelly is better than Kathy Lee, because she doesn't make little kids do [censored] up bullshit.

Razorback

09-11-2003, 07:35 PM

<blockquote>In reply to:<hr />
It's a message board--post whatever you like. That doesn't have to mean only overly aggressive replies to other people's sports-related posts. This was a pretty harsh reply, man. We rip on the morons for posting just empty crap about Jay & Bob, so why bust on someone for posting something with more to say than those guys? Disagreeing is fine -- I don't really agree with what anyone from Texas says about sports, but humor him--your reply was pretty overtly hostile.

[/ QUOTE ]

It was hostile because I intended for it to be taken that way. You don't think that some of his comments were ignorant? The mention of a black athlete not being intelligent enough to take anything but a class in rap? If this is cool with you then so be it; it seems to be with everyone else, but it is not with me.

His rhetorical questions were sarcastic and so I responded in kind... but hey, if I respond that way then I'm out of line, and if someone else does then they are being responsive.

RB

Ryall

09-11-2003, 07:42 PM

>The mention of a black athlete not being intelligent enough to take anything but a class in rap? If this is cool with you then so be it; it seems to be with everyone else, but it is not with me.

Well, don't try to make it sound like the rest of us condone racial slurs. I didn't take his comment as racially motivated--most athletes take puff classes, but maybe "Rap" was a bad example--but if that was your point, it's a valid one.

>His rhetorical questions were sarcastic and so I responded in kind... but hey, if I respond that way then I'm out of line, and if someone else does then they are being responsive.

Nah, don't make this into something more than it is. There's just the occasional time when you get all over people and it doesn't seem justified. This was one of those times. Not a big deal, but you just came off as pretty angry, and I couldn't quite see why. I look to you to be our model of patience and virtue here.

In other news, I got an e-mail from Camel Toe yesterday, asking me why he's still banned. In the middle of all kinds of shit-talking about the place and the people here--pretty funny that he still doesn't get it.

Razorback

09-11-2003, 07:49 PM

Well, the comment about "rap" is what set me off. Forgive me, all these East-coast-liberal professors are poisoning my point of view.

<blockquote>In reply to:<hr />
I look to you to be our model of patience and virtue here.

[/ QUOTE ]

Touche.

<blockquote>In reply to:<hr />
I got an e-mail from Camel Toe yesterday, asking me why he's still banned.

[/ QUOTE ]

We tried to explain it to him before he was banned and he either didn't think we were serious or did not care. The guy was funny for a bit... actually, he was funny a lot of times, but he just could not figure out that racism and bigotry was not going to be tolerated here. I think he thought this was AICN-light.

RB

ILovePapaSmurf

09-11-2003, 08:17 PM

<blockquote>In reply to:<hr />
Andy Roddick won his first grand slam title at the US Open in men’s tennis. Does the fact that I couldn’t pick him out in a police lineup say something about me, or the status of men’s tennis in general?

[/ QUOTE ]

I've know about Roddick for a while, because he is a great player. And I know my opinions are off, really off, but I have been a fan of him because not only is he hot, but he can play a kick ass game of tennis. He holds the record for the fastest serve ever in the 'book.'

And an off topic thing, I think Mandy and Andy make a cute couple.

Razorback

09-11-2003, 09:13 PM

I think Mandy and Razorback would make a great looking couple!

RB

irwin1227

09-11-2003, 09:26 PM

<blockquote>In reply to:<hr />
That is pretty ignorant. A dummy? Do you know anything about this his intelligence? Rap Part 1? This sounds prejudicial.

[/ QUOTE ]

Clarett was charged with misdemeanor falsification for lying about items stolen from his car. So he lied to police. You might have a PHD but lying to a cop makes you an idiot.
My choosing of rap 101 had nothing to do with his race. It was just something that came off the top of my head that was a fluff class that most college athletes take.

On Roddick - men's tennis has a big identity problem. The average joe can name the williams sisters, anna, maybe even a jennifer capriati. But the men are quickly losing star players. Sampras is done, Agassi will soon follow. The "name" players are just not there right now. Roddick is hopefully the start of something big.

<blockquote>In reply to:<hr />
It says to me that before you write more of these that you should actually get to know sports.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well I dont claim to be an expert on all sports, I just write what I see. I dont mind people having an opinion on what I write - good or bad. This is just a place I use as an outlet for my writing.

Its a lot better than writing "snooch to the nooch" over and over again.

Razorback

09-11-2003, 09:35 PM

Idiots do foolish things, dummy's are of low intelligence. So there is a big difference. I just feel that your entire essay was based on ignorance (and I don't necessarily mean yours, but it is written as if you are not aware of the obvious). You seem to know more than you write. Why not just write what you know instead of reaching for an audience?

RB

ILovePapaSmurf

09-11-2003, 10:54 PM

I think Roddick has made a name for himself for winning the US Open. For sure his name is going to be in the mouths of tennis enthusiasts for years to come. To be honest, he has been around for a while and I think it is time for the 'older' players to let some of the younger players have their turn in the spot light. And trust me, guys tennis is going to come back into the spotlight with players like Roddick.

Razorback

09-11-2003, 11:48 PM

I agree. Plus, the women are being dominated by two players (well, one mostly) and that will eventually get old for people. The mens game needs someone interesting.

RB

ILovePapaSmurf

09-12-2003, 12:54 AM

Yup, Venus and Serena kick butt, but I get tired of watching them play. And Roddick brings something to tennis, a 142 mile per hour serve.

Dr3vil

09-12-2003, 04:17 AM

<blockquote>In reply to:<hr />
That doesn't have to mean only overly aggressive replies to other people's sports-related posts.

[/ QUOTE ]

Pwn3d.

irwin1227

09-12-2003, 09:40 AM

<blockquote>In reply to:<hr />
You seem to know more than you write. Why not just write what you know instead of reaching for an audience?

[/ QUOTE ]

Thats something I have considered. The reason for covering a broad variety of topics is just a case of not wanting to limit myself to one particular type of subject matter.
Im not trying to be a "Page 2" writer, but maybe this column reads like it.

I tell you what, Ill try to come up with something next week that hopefull will read a whole lot better than this.
Judging by the responses...that shouldnt be too hard. /forums/images/icons/grin.gif

ILovePapaSmurf

09-12-2003, 10:24 AM

<blockquote>In reply to:<hr />
I tell you what, Ill try to come up with something next week that hopefull will read a whole lot better than this.
Judging by the responses...that shouldnt be too hard.

[/ QUOTE ]

Humm... maybe I am taking this wrong, but by saying that people are stupid, will make them not want to read your next column.

EternalStrife

09-12-2003, 10:28 AM

Actually, calling people stupid will make them want to read the next column, so they can in turn call the author of that particular column stupid and uninsightfull.

irwin1227

09-12-2003, 10:42 AM

<blockquote>In reply to:<hr />
Humm... maybe I am taking this wrong, but by saying that people are stupid, will make them not want to read your next column.

[/ QUOTE ]

You are taking it wrong. What I meant was I wont be all over the place with opinions, Ill concentrate on one solid subject.
/forums/images/icons/cool.gif

ILovePapaSmurf

09-12-2003, 10:44 AM

Oh, ok cool. Maybe I am up too early for my sake. And I apologize. Rock on!

Razorback

09-12-2003, 12:27 PM

I look forward to it.

RB