Lies our parents told us

[GoreFollower]

Remember those things your parents told you that were supposed to answer your questions, or were just phrases that didn't make sense at all. I remember quite a few:

1) If you tell me the truth, I promise I won't get angry
2) You can be anything you want to be when you grow up!
3) Your my special boy
4) We raised you to be healthy young adult!
5) Go back to bed Brendan, I'm just fixing your mother's back!
6) God will have no hesitation in letting you into the kingdom of heaven.

And many others that I haven't pulled out of my memory box.

[Droogan_Leader]

You forgot about going blind if you jerk off too much!

[GoreFollower]

My parents didn't tell me that one! My grandmother never forgot to tell me every day every time I visited.

M: Hi Nana
G: Hello dear
M: How are you?
G: Fine, thank you. You haven't been choking yourself in your pants have you?

[in_diana_jones]

"if you keep making that face, it will stay that way" <- understandable...who doesnt want their kid looking like a possessed a$$ hole?

[Droogan_Leader]

Grandparents always have such funny ways of saying stuff like that. I love tricking my grandmother into saying funny expressions like "bashing the bishop" or talking about weird experiences with suppositories. And when you finally get them to say that stuff, and you start laughing, they have no idea what's going on, but everyone else in the room is about to wet themselves. Ahh, the memories.

[EternalStrife]

'Don't play around with your uncle Johnny.'

Everyone has that one molestor uncle in the family.

[psychofiend]

The biggest lies I was ever told by my parents were
1 Santa is real
2 Easter Bunny is real
3 Chicks will like you because your handsome
4 If your nice to your mother in front of girls they will like you more.
5 I worry about you.
6 We will always catch you.

[Robbo_the_Hood]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
'Don't play around with your uncle Johnny.'

Everyone has that one molestor uncle in the family.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thank you, Chris Rock.

My mom always told me I was the cutest kid in school and that girls will like me for just being me.

[Zens_7s]

I like you for you.

My mom always said "Watch out for the other girls when your back is turned. They will always compliment your outfit or hair on the day it looks the worst." It's no wonder I grew up to have one good female friend and the rest are men.

[Robbo_the_Hood]

You only like me for one thing. /forums/images/icons/tongue.gif

[Zens_7s]

/forums/images/icons/shocked.gif Yep, you caught me! I hope your mom didn't teach you that.

[EternalStrife]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Thank you, Chris Rock.

[/ QUOTE ]

Of course I got that from somewhere else. As a kid, my mother didn't tell me shit......at least not shit that didn't turn out to be true.

[Robbo_the_Hood]

She said all the other kids were doing it. Was that another lie?

[EternalStrife]

That was certainly true in my case.

[Zens_7s]

If all the other kids were doing it, then it wouldn't have explained your late-night popularity. There is a great deal to be said for talent, why do you think I still call at 1am after all these years.

[FanGirl]

My dad always told me that if I ever got arrested, I would rot in jail because there was no way he nor my mom would bail me out.

I decided never to test this to see if it was a lie or not though.

And remember a good friend will bail you out of jail, a best friend will be sitting next you saying "That was fun."

[Robbo_the_Hood]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
why do you think I still call at 1am after all these years.

[/ QUOTE ]

because you still can't get a hold of Ryan Adams?

[Zens_7s]

Dammit yes, I admit it. Ryan Adams is already too drunk and stoned by 1am to answer the phone. It's hard to lust after alcoholic musicians who don't even know you. Besides, you came with great references from all those high school girls.

[Robbo_the_Hood]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
you came with great references from all those high school girls.

[/ QUOTE ]

Uh, how am I supposed to take that?

[Zens_7s]

Back when you were in high school also, and they still remember. Unless you have something to confess that may put you on the couch tonight...

[Robbo_the_Hood]

My only confession is that I'm a sucker for you.

[EternalStrife]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
a best friend will be sitting next you saying "That was fun."

[/ QUOTE ]

Actually, a true, honest to god friend would be doing that. A best friend would be the one you see kicking up dirt as he drives away yelling "So long, sucker!" leaving you all by your lonesome to fend for the cops.

[Zens_7s]

Dammit dammit. That works everytime.

[Omaru]

ones my mother told me

1. you look normal
2. no one is going to notice (she made me wear red girls sandals after my velcro trainers/sneakers broke, I was 6)
3. it really suits you (after she gave me that chris reeves clark kent style combing complete with parting. Aged 3-8.

[EternalStrife]

You must certainly have had one hell of a childhood, my friend.

[CKYFAN6996]

I know i do

[ILovePapaSmurf]

<font color="purple">1. Barry Manilow is your father, not the one mowing the neighbor's lawn (she really did tell me that).
2. That the pony tail on the side of the head will be a popular hairdo though the 90s.
And she also told me that the Easter bunny was real and all like that. </font color>

[karmattack]

1. All this hooplah, just for YOU! (I was born on the 4th of July)

[EternalStrife]

No shit.....So you get to celebrate two happy occasion in one day!

[EternalStrife]

Don't if anyone has ever gotten this one....

'If you go to bed in front of a mirror, your alter ego will come out take devour your soul, taking over your place.'

[DangerSeeker]

My parents tried to tell me that too much pepper could give me cancer (not that I used much), that they never enjoyed the MJ (I have proof and testimony), and that they absolutely, despite what they said last semester (and the one before that...) they SWORE they would pay for my college this semester. Lies.

[Dr3vil]

1.We'll always love you
2.You weren't an accident
3.You're good enough
4.You're smart enough
5.People like you

[EternalStrife]

And just think.....one day, we to, will become parents. Unless you already are. In that case, what lies do you tell your children?

[karmattack]

You can impregnate a warm washcloth? I'd better start being more careful.

[Psyche]

well im going with the whole 'im not psycho you are' thing my mom used to say to me. cuz she's the psycho one =\

[psychofiend]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
well im going with the whole 'im not psycho you are' thing my mom used to say to me. cuz she's the psycho one =\

[/ QUOTE ]
Things like this are the reason why Psyche is a great asset to this place, I think she is my soul mate! /forums/images/icons/wink.gif

[Psyche]

&lt;3

[GoreFollower]

You think every girl is your soulmate, you just connect well with girls because they think your gay! (no offense)

[psychofiend]

Well, I think it's better for girls to think I'm gay than for them to think I am a big scary psychotic red-headed [censored].

[EternalStrife]

"You can do anything you want, as long as you put your mind to it."

And just look at me now, I have yet acheive anything but register at this forum board.

[Omaru]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Well, I think it's better for girls to think I'm gay than for them to think I am a big scary psychotic red-headed [censored].

[/ QUOTE ] each to their own, I'd prefer the freakish look myself staring people into submission and avoiding me in the street.

[psychofiend]

the censored word was h.o.m.o. Do you want to be known as a h.o.m.o.

[jjcourtright]

Aren't gay and h.omo the same thing?

[EternalStrife]

Homosexual? Homophobe?

[Omaru]

I guess its like the different between d.y.k.e and lesbian. but since he meant h.o.m.o. NO I most definitely would not like to be one of them, I'd just rather scare people away than attract their attention. Low profile works for me.

[EternalStrife]

And how's that working out for you?

[GoreFollower]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Well, I think it's better for girls to think I'm gay than for them to think I am a big scary psychotic red-headed [censored].

[/ QUOTE ]

There is nothing wrong being a regular Irish Sullivan with the regular crazy brain cells. My brother was crazy, so I expect they want the same with me!