Chromosexual
08-07-2003, 01:31 PM
I'm probably not the only person who thinks this, however i know there are people who are bound to disagree simply for the sake of arguing.
The Halloween series has never been topped since its debute, as with the other flagmen of the genre, Friday 13th, Nightmare on Elm St and to a lesser extent, Childs Play and Scream, and it seems about time that Old Mickey should put down his kitchen knife, hang up his mask and overalls, then slip into some oversized trousers, a tweede jacket, maybe some fluffy slippers, before sitting down in a rocking chair with a patchwork blanket and the releif that he was never sent into space or forced to fight that little rascal Chucky. Unlike his younger brother Jason, whos done both in the space of two years.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, its finally here. The fight we've all been waiting for (no, not Lenox Lewis vrs. Muhammed Ali, you idiot); Freddy "Dream Master" Kruger vrs. Jason "Mummies Boy" Vorhees. Yes, old Wrinkles is going up against the overweight hockey fan, (who we must congratulate on his safe return from space, without the aid of a space ship or oxygen mask. Truly an amazing man.) in what will most probably turn out to be an 80 minite bore fest, in which two horror icons, way past their sell by date, exchange harsh words and cheesy catch phrases (or in Jasons case, stare menicingly in the wrong direction) before atempting to hurt each other. For Gods sake, Chapter six of the "Nightmare..." series was called Freddies Dead, and he's back now to fight someone who the last time we saw was just a titanium mask at the bottom of a lake of a planet known as Earth 2. The only way this story line could work would be if it was set in the eighties, before Freddy was "killed" and Jason was blown to peices with a rocket launcher, however, sources suggest this is not the case, and the setting is present day Elm St, where all the children are on dream supressents. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but aren't all the "Elm St Children" dead already? Also, wasn't it Freddies daughter who killed him, or his granddaughter, or a relative of some kind that killed him? If thats the case, THEN WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THE RETARDED SADIST DOING FLOATING AROUND IN LIMBO FOR? As for Jason, NO MATTER WHO MANY INTER GALLATIC JOURNEYS YOU GO ON,YOU CAN'T HIDE THE FACT THAT YOUR HISTORY OF ORIGIN DOESN'T MAKE ONE GODDAMN BIT OF SENSE, AND THAT ALL YOU ARE IS A THIRD RATE PEICE OF [censored] MICHEAL MYRES! YOU MIGHT SCARE MY THREE YEAR OLD SISTER, BUT THESE DAYS [censored] DISNEY FILMS ARE MORE OUTRAGOUS THAN ANY FRIDAY 13TH FILM! JASON X WAS SO [censored], IT WASN'T EVEN ALOWED TO BARE THE SERIES MONIKER. YOU SUCK, YOU SWEATY SON OF A BITCH, AND YOU KNOW IT! YOU WANNA KICK SOMEONES ARSE, GO AUDITION FOR [censored] DOG SOLDIERS 2, AND SEE HOW YOU [censored] DO THEN, YOU DICK. YOUR MOTHER MAY HAVE BEEN A PSYCHOTIC SERIAL KILLER, AND YOU MAY HAVE APPEREARED IN AN ALICE COOPER VIDIO, BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER COOL. I COULD DO A BETTER JOB THAN YOU WITH A TOOTH PICK AND A RIBBED DUREX ON MY HEAD. YOU RETARDED BADGER. YOU BETTER START LOOKING OVER YOUR SHOULDER MATE, CUZ ME AND THE BOYS ARE AFTER YOU! CUMMON DIPSY,YOU TOO BARNEY. NOT FORGETTING THE TWEENY POSSE. BRING THE NOISE, BITCH.........
Sorry, i think its time i took my medicen...
The Halloween series has never been topped since its debute, as with the other flagmen of the genre, Friday 13th, Nightmare on Elm St and to a lesser extent, Childs Play and Scream, and it seems about time that Old Mickey should put down his kitchen knife, hang up his mask and overalls, then slip into some oversized trousers, a tweede jacket, maybe some fluffy slippers, before sitting down in a rocking chair with a patchwork blanket and the releif that he was never sent into space or forced to fight that little rascal Chucky. Unlike his younger brother Jason, whos done both in the space of two years.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, its finally here. The fight we've all been waiting for (no, not Lenox Lewis vrs. Muhammed Ali, you idiot); Freddy "Dream Master" Kruger vrs. Jason "Mummies Boy" Vorhees. Yes, old Wrinkles is going up against the overweight hockey fan, (who we must congratulate on his safe return from space, without the aid of a space ship or oxygen mask. Truly an amazing man.) in what will most probably turn out to be an 80 minite bore fest, in which two horror icons, way past their sell by date, exchange harsh words and cheesy catch phrases (or in Jasons case, stare menicingly in the wrong direction) before atempting to hurt each other. For Gods sake, Chapter six of the "Nightmare..." series was called Freddies Dead, and he's back now to fight someone who the last time we saw was just a titanium mask at the bottom of a lake of a planet known as Earth 2. The only way this story line could work would be if it was set in the eighties, before Freddy was "killed" and Jason was blown to peices with a rocket launcher, however, sources suggest this is not the case, and the setting is present day Elm St, where all the children are on dream supressents. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but aren't all the "Elm St Children" dead already? Also, wasn't it Freddies daughter who killed him, or his granddaughter, or a relative of some kind that killed him? If thats the case, THEN WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THE RETARDED SADIST DOING FLOATING AROUND IN LIMBO FOR? As for Jason, NO MATTER WHO MANY INTER GALLATIC JOURNEYS YOU GO ON,YOU CAN'T HIDE THE FACT THAT YOUR HISTORY OF ORIGIN DOESN'T MAKE ONE GODDAMN BIT OF SENSE, AND THAT ALL YOU ARE IS A THIRD RATE PEICE OF [censored] MICHEAL MYRES! YOU MIGHT SCARE MY THREE YEAR OLD SISTER, BUT THESE DAYS [censored] DISNEY FILMS ARE MORE OUTRAGOUS THAN ANY FRIDAY 13TH FILM! JASON X WAS SO [censored], IT WASN'T EVEN ALOWED TO BARE THE SERIES MONIKER. YOU SUCK, YOU SWEATY SON OF A BITCH, AND YOU KNOW IT! YOU WANNA KICK SOMEONES ARSE, GO AUDITION FOR [censored] DOG SOLDIERS 2, AND SEE HOW YOU [censored] DO THEN, YOU DICK. YOUR MOTHER MAY HAVE BEEN A PSYCHOTIC SERIAL KILLER, AND YOU MAY HAVE APPEREARED IN AN ALICE COOPER VIDIO, BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER COOL. I COULD DO A BETTER JOB THAN YOU WITH A TOOTH PICK AND A RIBBED DUREX ON MY HEAD. YOU RETARDED BADGER. YOU BETTER START LOOKING OVER YOUR SHOULDER MATE, CUZ ME AND THE BOYS ARE AFTER YOU! CUMMON DIPSY,YOU TOO BARNEY. NOT FORGETTING THE TWEENY POSSE. BRING THE NOISE, BITCH.........
Sorry, i think its time i took my medicen...