JAY AND SILENT BOB

[SuperFly]

This used to be lesson one in How to Get Yourself Banned.

[Robbo_the_Hood]

Regulators! Mount up!!

[Zens_7s]

C L E

Can somebody cough up the extra $20 it is going to take to buy this guy the vowel "U", because he needs a f'n clue really badly.

[Pivots on heel, flicks hair in SuperFly's face, and walks away with finger raised behind her back.]

[code6enterprises]

I can't even think of the words. I'm gonna go find my thesaurus.

[ozchick]

four words.... back in your box

[ratm1966]

Okay, we apparently have another dilusional idiot who can't discern fact from fiction and thinks he is a movie character.

[Denyse]

Combination hair flip, with a giggle...There's a 2.3 degree of difficulty on this one...And she pulls it off!!!!

9.0, 9.0!!!

/forums/images/icons/grin.gif Sorry...You being from Chicago, my mind just goes straight to the Chi-town movie references. Well played!

[ratm1966]

Stands at urinal, pee's, shakes twice with no drip....degree of difficulty 4.5.....OMG! People, he did it! His drawers stayed dry....he gets a perfect 10 across the board.

[And the crowd goes wild]

[code6enterprises]

Truly inspiring

[Zens_7s]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Stands at urinal, pee's, shakes twice with no drip....degree of difficulty 4.5.....OMG!

[/ QUOTE ] All this with three girls standing there watching him intently? Failure. Wetness and embarassment ensue ladies and gentlemen.

Announcer: Oh Bob, it tooks like he may have really made a mess this time. Hopefully he brought along a change of clothes and a paper bag to conceal his embarassment!

[ratm1966]

Oh....Your hair looks bad!

Out of comebacks?

Yes

That 70's Show

[code6enterprises]

I'm gonna guess that that was Jackie and Laurie talking.

[ratm1966]

I think Laurie and Eric were dishin' out the burns and Hyde was in the room. Eric was the one who ran out of comebacks.

However, I do believe there was also a similar encounter with Jackie and Laurie in an episode.

[Zens_7s]

My hair exists in a state of perpetual bad, remember? But when Poison makes their big comeback, I am sOOOOOOO in.

[code6enterprises]

This gives me an idea.

[Zens_7s]

Oh lord, is this like the idea you had when you wanted me to change my avatar to the set of boobs? I think I still have that message somewhere.

[ratm1966]

Boobs? Well, why don't you?

[Zens_7s]

http://www.gamespy.com/avatars/av/SO/so4.gif

This is the one.

[code6enterprises]

{Clp, Clp, Clp}

[Zens_7s]

Ok - for one night, and one night only, I will change my avatar to the one provided by Code6.

[ratm1966]

Woooohooooo........Tig ol Bitties

[code6enterprises]

Hiant Gooters

[Zens_7s]

Confirms my theory that large breasts can occupy the average male for hours.

[ratm1966]

Oh huh? What did you say? I am deaf and can only read lips. Unfortunately, my eyes were looking elsewhere.

[code6enterprises]

Hey, I got a joke.

Why do women have boobs? So men have somethin to look at when they're talking to them.

These could occupy me for hours.

[Zens_7s]

Reminds me of when I worked in the bar during college. I used to snap my fingers into my cleavage, point upward, and say "Hi! I'm my face, have we met yet?"

This avatar may not make it past the hour.

[ratm1966]

ha ha ha....that one was funny.

[code6enterprises]

I just noticed something. Her name and stars are in the place of the head and the cleavage is in the right place right below them so it looks like a body.

[TomHarrington]

Hello and goodbye, Mr. Snuka. So what do you like to do when you're not torturing the family pets, huffing the paint, or defacing public property?

[THX1138]

What is this boobs and cleavage? I am no good with english. Does these people Jay, Bob and Charles Barkley have it. What the heaven how did charles barkley get in there?

[twiggytwinsen]

And lesson two.

[THX1138]

I thought the world agreed that cloning is illegal.

[psychofiend]

Well i think that superfly is just that super fly. Oh wait no that's totally wrong, Superfly is a [censored] idiot. Or maybe like Andrew Dice Clay he is merely trying to make us all take a more in depth look at the [censored] in the crowd and think, well maybe he is just being a prick for attention. I think Superfly deserves the award for besrt teacher!! He has taught us that being the [censored] is not the way to be cool in a group of people who come merely to talk about movies. Bravo, Superfly, bravo!!!
[I wonder if that stung him...]

[Robbo_the_Hood]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Hello and goodbye, Mr. Snuka.

[/ QUOTE ]
You know, he did make about as much sense as a Jimmy Snuka promo. Just missing the "I love ya. Baby."

[FanGirl]

Have you guys ever seen the Superfly cartoons at www.joecartoon.com (http://www.joecartoon.com)? Very funny as is the hampster in the microwave and other classic internet flash animations.

[jjcourtright]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
jay and silent bob rule arse and can not be tested and if any of ur clownshoes diss themagain im gonna bitchslap all u bitches and then i will [censored] ur mums while u watch like moany bitches and then we will [censored] down ur necks
luv jay and silent bob respect

[/ QUOTE ] So, I always assumed that such ignorance was an America thing. Glad to know that we are not the only country with a shitty educational system. BTW, do you think that these kids even know what a clit is?

[brycejmcewen]

I remember being in the theater watching the South Park movie, and sitting next to some 14-15 year old girls. When the chef is discussing the clit with the kids, everybody in the theater had a good laugh, including the 14-15 year old girls. When the laughter died down I heard one girl ask the other "What's a clit?" to which thew other girl replied "I don't know". I thought to myself, "Let me show you", then was arrested by the pre-crime unit.

[jjcourtright]

That's some funny [censored]. F'n sheep.

[Omaru]

You'll probably find some of the younger J&amp;SB posters thinking "what's a pre-crime unit" since 'that' film doesn't fall into anything they might find watchable.

[brycejmcewen]

That reminds me of Helen Lovejoy.

"Why won't you think of the children!"

You're right, I should have thought of the children.

[FanGirl]

My friend was in a movie theater and they were playing music before the movie started. The original Wings version of "Live and Let Die" starts and two girls sitting a row in front of him gasp and say "I can't beleive someone redid a Guns'n'Roses song.

Better still upon walking out of Phantom Menance on opening night, a woman and man are talking and the following sentence is over heard "No, no, no. Don't you get it? One day that little boy is going to grow up to be Luke Skywalker." My side still aches thinking about that.

[brycejmcewen]

I remember when Notorious B.I.G. was shot, and Puff Daddy did the "Every Breath you Take" remix, one of my friend said to me "Did you know this is a remake of an old song, I just heard that on the radio."

Of course I gave him the You've-gotta-be-[censored]-kidding-me stare for a good hour.

[Fat_Ben]

hey, i juts joined this site and saw this, when i saw matrix reloaded for the first time (i live in england) i thought it was awsome, and couldnt wait for thefinal episode to come out (due about 6 months later) and as i left i heard some chick say 'man that was cool i hope i dont have to wait another 4 years for the next one'

what a loser..

ben

[Zens_7s]

Fan Girl, that made me remember something...

About 4 years ago I was sitting in a sold-out theater of 200+ people. "Hey Jude" was playing on the loudspeaker and a few guys in the row ahead of us started singing along. In one of those wierd ripple effect things more and more people joined in. By the time you got to the na-na-na-na's, the noise was deafening. Whenever someone talks about how influential the Beatles are, and how important to American music, I think about that very cool moment.

[code6enterprises]

What brought up that act of stupidity?

[Zens_7s]

Oh come on Code 6, he is not as bad as most of the newbies. There may be potiential in Fat Ben yet.

[Note: I am not sure I believe this, but my parents said that picking on fat people may lead them into a postal induced rage in later life...and you know the first people they come a lookin' for when that happens.]

[code6enterprises]

We go from talking about B.I.G. to him bringing up the matrix reloaded.

[DangerSeeker]

We were discussing the idiocy of youth, I thought. Or lack of knowledge of the not-so-distant past. I know some of the younger crowd knows things beyond their years, just like full-grown adults I've met have seen my Blues Brothers tattoo and asked why I got Steve Martin and Chevy Chase put on my arm.

How does somebody get so close to the realm of right, then burn the map and wander?

[brycejmcewen]

Why did you get Steve Martin and Chevy Chase tattooed on your arm?

[karmattack]

Yeah, shouldn't it have been Dan Akroyd and John Goodman?

[brycejmcewen]

Or Steve Martin and Dan Akroyd, they are "two wild and crazy guys!"

"You American women have such large breats all the time."

[DangerSeeker]

It was supposed to be Spies Like Us, but then they goofed the faced when they get out of the G force test, and so they wound up with hats, sunglasses, and black ties.

[brycejmcewen]

I don't have a tattoo, but I am kind of scared that something like that might happen if I got one.

TATTOO ARTIST: "There you go, all done."

BJM: "What the hell is that?"

TATTOO ARTIST: "What do you mean? You wanted the rainbow with the 'we're here, we're queer' slogan right?"

FLAMING HOMOSEXUAL: (With lisp, limp wrist) "Hello boys, is it my turn yet? (Squeeling with delight) Oh, we're tattoo buddies now! You're cute, wanna go back to my place and [censored]?"

(PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: Although I just wrote that, I have no problem with homosexuals (except for the idea of a dick in my ass). I just thought since Will &amp; Grace can get away with stereotyping, so can I.)

[karmattack]

That's cool since most homosexuals don't always do butt-sex -- usually oral. So if you're cool with a wang in your MOUTH.... /forums/images/icons/shocked.gif





KIDDING!!!! (For my feelings on the matter, refer to A Night With Kevin Smith -- it's been said better than I could have myself)

[brycejmcewen]

I do enjoy hotdogs, even the odd corn dog, so maybe I could get used to...WAIT. NO. I LOVE WOMEN! HATE MEN. LOVE WOMEN!

[jjcourtright]

Since I have previously received a "standing-o" from your office, I think you deserve one from mine. Kudos.

[brycejmcewen]

I'm glad to hear the people of Colorado (You're speaking on behalf of the the entire state, right?) are as amused by what I am typing as I am. Who am I kidding, nobody is as amused by what I am typing as I am.

[jjcourtright]

I don't know. You had me giggling quite a bit.

[karmattack]

I enjoy it, as always. Go get 'em, Tiger [pats Bryce's fanny]
err....ugh......sorry. It's just the rainbow tattoo
[shakes head]

[Zens_7s]

See, this is a disturbing development. The only reason I hung out with Bryce is because I thought he was gay, and therefore safe. He never said it, but the tatoo did imply...

Uh oh. All those times I changed clothes in front of him and he paid attention? All those times he gave me really shitty fashion advice? All those times I asked him if he wanted to go to a musical, and he said "Only if it's a topless revue in Vegas" It should have known!

[clownshoe]

the only $20 needed is for you to [censored] your mum you [censored] clown shoe. your a dumb [censored]. jay n silent bob rules man, im gonna [censored] your mother while u watch and cry like a little bitch

[karmattack]

Howdy, buttfucker! Just in case there's any confusion later, it was me who warned the mod on that one.

[jjcourtright]

You got away with saying buttfucker.

[Zens_7s]

Hi! It is nice to see that the other side of the educational divide is represented for today. I like to show the other kids what happens when you drop acid repeatedly and think perverted thoughts about other peoples parents instead of real girls.

[Zens_7s]

Buttfucker! That is so fun! Let's all say it together...

Look at the sad little buttfucker. Honestly, I think he may be the fuckee.

[karmattack]

Yeah, I think Ming just made a list of words that are recognized and then changed to "[censored]." So you can modify the word. A dash singles it out too....like, you can say buttfucker, but you can't say butt-[censored]. I wish this was the case with sperm-felcher so I'd have a reason to talk about it, because it also applies to this clownshoe.

[Zens_7s]

You can combine other words that are legal to make excessive grossness...for example... [self censored], also something ClownShoes is. [Oh, I can't believe I just typed that.]

[jjcourtright]

WOW. That was the foulest thing I have ever heard come out of a ladies mouth.

[Zens_7s]

I know. I think I am going to edit it. I made myself blush. /forums/images/icons/blush.gif

[jjcourtright]

No, I think that it is important for everyone to see your "real" side.

[jjcourtright]

Boooooooooo!

[Zens_7s]

But it's not my real side. I didn't invent the phrase, a guy I know called his friend that the other night. I thought it was pretty creative, but I just couldn't take the pressure of leaving it up there.

[jjcourtright]

I'll say it again.


Booooooooooo!

[brycejmcewen]

The really sad part is that with my MTV attention span, I can no longer even remember what the hell you said.

[jjcourtright]

If memory serves, it was a wrinkle that resembled a water-deprived girl part.

[Zens_7s]

See you little piece of chicken doo. You don't have the guts to type it out either!

[jjcourtright]

But at least I didn't back down...

[Zens_7s]

Hey - I admit it. I backed down. I got nervous, and felt all unladylike (which for me means I really look it too far). I buckled. But Mr. Boooooooooo big man over there is pointin' fingers but can't back it up.

Yeah you! Booooooooooooooooooooo!

[brycejmcewen]

"Alright stop it! Can't you see this barn yard animal game is tearing us apart?"

[jjcourtright]

Woo...(sob)...between the chicken...(sob)...doo comment and the...(sob)...booing I am getting all worked up.

[A single tear runs down JJ's cheek]
[Cue Braveheart theme song]

Wahhh...I hate this place and I hate all of you.

(Stupid Braveheart theme, gets me every time.)

[Zens_7s]

Aww...poor JJ. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but you did start booing me first. AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS YOU SNIVELING LITTLE BITCH! It means that Bryce will yell at you for me, because he already called you a "barn animal".

[brycejmcewen]

I yelled at nobody (well, both of you). I called nobody a barn yard animal, it is a reference to an episode of The Simpsons, one in which everybody ends up holding hands and singing the song that begins with "When I was just a little girl..." Maybe we all need to learn something from The Simpsons.

[Zens_7s]

Ya whatever. You know you called him a barn animal and now you are trying to get out of it.

Granted, I don't think JJ is a barn animal. I always liked him until me began mocking me. But I am a woman, and my emotions can turn on a pin head.

[brycejmcewen]

"But I am a woman, and my emotions can turn on a pin head. "

No kidding. It's like when you go out with a girl for over 2 and a half years, and one day she decides she wants to just be friends. What the [censored] is the deal with that? Not that I'm bitter.

[Zens_7s]

Wait, did we date before? Because I pulled that one numerous times in my single years.

Honestly, "I just want to be friends" = "I want to sleep with other people and I don't want you to be mad at me because I like to have the best of all worlds."

[brycejmcewen]

Your avatar is perfect right now.

[Zens_7s]

Yes, yes it is. But at least I am honest. I figure once you are out of the singles scene there is no point in not holding yourself accountable for the damage you did while you were there.

[ratm1966]

So Zens, what did you post that you had to change? I wasn't here, so I didn't get a chance to read it.

[karmattack]

Yes, I too am interested in what you said. Self-censoring is something a pre-menstrual bloodfart would do! You're not a pre-menstrual bloodfart, are you?

[THX1138]

Yes I too am curious as to what, "a wrinkle that resembled a water-deprived girl part" is. Let us know we all are listening with a tenative ear. Well not reall an ear but we are watching.