Ben and J-Lo

[ratm1966]

OMG! Could the fairy tale romance be over? Well, if the highly respected National Inquirer is running the article, it has to be true. Oh Lord, why?!!

Check it out.... National Enquirer (http://www.nationalenquirer.com/stories/feature.cfm?instanceid=58860)

No, I don't read this rag, but the story had a link to it on The Drudge Report.

[FanGirl]

Just shoot me now.

[ratm1966]

ha ha ha

[MinerWerks]

"Feature Stories"... uh huh... right.

[GoreFollower]

Oral Sex on two nude dancers? Maybe we will see a pimple or a wart in the corner of his mouth in the future!

"Not here, not here, but right here!"-Chris Farley

[Zens_7s]

Thank God the National Enquirer does not offer to give lie detector tests to regular men after bachelor parties. I have more than one man I would volunteer for that job.

"No honey, we didn't do much of anything. Just had a couple of beers. No, I have no idea why all the buttons on my shirt and pants are gone and I have lipstick in every place the sun does not shine. Oh quit, you know I love you and you have an overactive imagination...blah, blah, blah"

Sound familiar anyone?

[towelie99]

ratm, you frickin' usurper, you! You knew I was going to do this thread. /forums/images/icons/mad.gif /forums/images/icons/mad.gif

[ratm1966]

Yes, but he who snoozes loses....ha ha ha!

[Zens_7s]

It's like you two share a brain, but are not happy with that fact.

[ratm1966]

Share? Me Share? I think not. We just discussed it at work today when I saw the article on line.

[towelie99]

Yes, it's troublesome at times.

BTW, we're looking for a third tenant. Interested?

[code6enterprises]

Hey, Zens should move in with you guys. It'd be like three's company, only, without all the sex.

[towelie99]

OK, but who has to pretend that they're gay? ratm, it ain't gonna be me!

[code6enterprises]

I'd have to be Zens cause she's the one girl.

[Zens_7s]

come and knock on our door, we've been waiting for you...

I don't want to play the gay one. That would ruin all my fun rolling skating round the neighborhood in pigtails and gym shorts.

[towelie99]

You do know what happened to Crissy, don't you. Don't be like her, Zens!

[ratm1966]

I sure as hell ain't gonna be the gay one. Maybe we can invite FoxyRoxy to move in and she can be the gay one.

[ratm1966]

Next thing you know, you will be on TV trying to sell Thighmasters.

[towelie99]

Remember, there's always Assfleck. He comes off as gay all the time, and he does it so well.

[code6enterprises]

Or she'll be on Step by Step. Ooo, I shudder at the thought.

[ratm1966]

Yes, maybe he and Matt Damon can do another movie together.

[towelie99]

Just as long as [censored] Mork isn't there, too! And Assfleck's brother, Casey. Something about him just bugs me!

[ratm1966]

So, my question is, if President Clinton says Oral SEX isn't sex, did Assfleck really cheat on J-Lo even if the article was true? Hey, if good enough for the President, then good enough for everyone else.

[Razorback]

It depends... did Jennifer Lopez support Clinton during that time and did she ever say "That is not sex"?

RB

[towelie99]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
So, my question is, if President Clinton says Oral SEX isn't sex, did Assfleck really cheat on J-Lo even if the article was true? Hey, if good enough for the President, then good enough for everyone else.

[/ QUOTE ]

Dude, I'm gonna pretend you didn't just defend Clinton or his actions!

[Robbo_the_Hood]

think about this: Did you consider the first time you went down on a girl (or vice versa) to have been your first time having sex? There's a reason it's called 'third base' and why it hasn't been deemed 'going all the way.'

[THX1138]

WOW! What insight. Again, you are almost my hero.

[ratm1966]

No way in HELL was I defending that lying piece of [censored]. No, I was just saying that if the country thought his definition of oral sex was good enough for his situation, then it should be good enough for everyone.

[code6enterprises]

But still, he is engaged to her so it still is counted as cheating.

[Robbo_the_Hood]

I didn't say it wasn't cheating. But that's just how I stick to the oral sex isn't sex argument. When you're standing on third, you still haven't scored.

[Zens_7s]

Never thought of it that way. Maybe because by the time you get to third, you usually end up going home?

Still, does anyone think it odd that a guy like him would bother to do that with a stripper? I can see him accepting the receiving end of a similar act, Hugh Grant style, but that seems off somehow. As my mom would say, don't put it in your mouth unless you know where it has been.

Gross I know, but still the comment stands.

[Robbo_the_Hood]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Never thought of it that way. Maybe because by the time you get to third, you usually end up going home?


[/ QUOTE ]
Man, you didn't grow up in the Bible belt. Where getting to third base wasn't a problem, but going home is considered a sin. I tell you, I got more frustrated over hearing "I can't. Jesus is watching," than anything else.

[Zens_7s]

Yet another good point. I am pretty sure the phrase "I can't, Jesus is watching" has only been uttered a handful of times up here. The Yankee girls would say, "Now that you have completed that task, you better finish the job."

[DangerSeeker]

I think around these parts (entendre!) if somebody said "Jesus is watching," it would result in a thumbs-up and a wink skyward, then back to business.

Of course, I do live in the City That Breeds, top ranked in venereal diseases, both quantity AND quality.

[code6enterprises]

Well, I'd say "Jesus is a pervert."