I don't mean to sound even faintly dismissive, but TALK TO HER is not for crusty tough-guy types. It's basically about a couple of lonely, sensitive, teary-eyed guys (Javier Camara, Dario Grandinetti) who've fallen in love with women who spend a good amount of their screen time in a coma. The film dips into a musical mood every so often; there's a kind-of Spanish ballet sequence at the conclusion that may be the most beautiful of its kind since the dance numbers in Carlos Saura's CARMEN.

I felt a tiny bit nervous when a guy who knows Almodovar wrote me just before I left for my interview at West Hollywood's Sunset Marquis hotel, and said, "I hear he's in a good mood today." But all this fell away. That's the great thing about talking with a movie obsessive from another part of the world; all linguistic and cultural barriers evaporate in no time.

It was also obvious from the get-go Almodovar is extremely shrewd, whip-smart and able to hit any slider or curve ball I could throw at him. For every smarty-pants question, he came back with an even better, more off-the-ground reply.

I should have taped our conversation, but instead I took notes and wound up with fragments. The dips and turns of our conversation are missing. Almodovar's English isn't bad, but he frequently resorts to Spanish (an interpreter was sitting with us) when he has something especially precise or passionate to say.

What is the most frequent view or opinion he's been getting from journalists about himself or the movie? He answered in Spanish, "That I am at the peak of my powers and...it's flattering," and then said in English, "But I don't feel like that. Now that I almost know the language and can say sometimes exactly what I want...but I don't feel fluent now. I come here do make promotion of my movies. Sometimes I can speak with fluency and precision about something...other times I don't understand the question."

Has he gotten offers to make an English-language film with an American cast, and to possibly make a film here in the States? "I like the idea of making a movie in English -- perhaps here, perhaps not -- but I really have to improve my English. I don't know that I have to do it in Hollywood. There is something about the way movies are made here that scares me a little."

When are you going to do another comedy, or is that over for you? "It's all to do with what's in the air...with what I'm feeling. I would suggest to audiences not to expect a comedy when they go to my films. If I decide to make one, I'll let them know. I would like to make another one. People stop me in the street in Spain and say, 'Why, Pedro? We love to laugh with you.'"

We talked about Miramax's CHICAGO, which neither of us have seen but others have and they've all been saying good things. Pedro has seen a stage version in Madrid, he said.

Has he thought about doing a full-out traditional musical? "In TALK TO HER, I'm right on the verge," he replied. "It is closer to the musical genre at times than anything I've done before. It has a certain ethereal tone or mood of a musical. In the '80s I had the idea of doing a musical based on popular songs, but since EVERYONE SAYS I LOVE YOU and MOULIN ROUGE, this idea is not so fresh anymore.

"I would like to something between this movie and a Bob Fosse musical," he added. "What I need to do [in order to make] a real musical is find a composer or musician to work with."

I told him about my enthusiasm for movies from Brazil (especially Fernando Meirelles' CITY OF GOD) and Argentina these days, and he agreed that Argentina is a very fertile place these days, proclaiming that movies coming out of there "are much better than movies from Spain." He ran down a list of films and filmmakers from that country, include Fabian Beilinsky and NINE QUEENS, of which Mel Gibson's Icon Productions intends to make an English-language version.

Original or Adapted?

I've had Charlie Kaufman's ADAPTATION Oscar Ballooned for months as a candidate for Best Original Screenplay, but now people are arguing it belongs under the Best Adapted Screenplay category, since it's partly (but no more than that) an adaptation of Susan Orleans' THE ORCHID THIEF.

Of course, If Kaufman had rotely adapted Orleans' book and the script had been made it into a film, the result wouldn't be anything like ADAPTATION and I'm not sure anyone would care much about it.

Obviously very few readers have seen ADAPTATION and therefore aren't in a position to argue either way, but if you have an opinion send it along. Until Columbia tells me in no uncertain terms that Kaufman's script is being submitted to the Academy as a possible Best Adapted Screenplay contender, I'm going to continue listing his screenplay as an original.

Angel of Domestic Death

If you're an actress and your character is married to John C. Reilly, wear a dark veil and get used to the idea of grief.

All female characters who set up house with John C. Reilly in the movies are doomed. They wind up in jail (Renee Zellwegger in CHICAGO) or widowed (whatsername in THE PERFECT STORM), or they become miserable lesbians who attempt suicide (Julianne Moore in THE HOURS), or they have affairs with greasy little Holden Caulfield obsesssives at work (Jennifer Aniston in THE GOOD GIRL).

In a way, Reilly is the new Vincent Price -- the kindly oppressor, the gentle torturer, the domestic lunkhead who can't help smothering women's souls. The only time he hasn't cast a dark shadow upon a female character's inner life was when he played the morose, love-struck patrolman in MAGNOLIA who falls for Melora Walters, who played the abused daughter of Philip Baker Hall.

Eric, Oliver and Me

I've been shilly-shallying about running a piece about Eric Hamburg's new book, JFK, NIXON, OLIVER STONE & ME: AN IDEALIST'S JOURNEY FROM CAPITOL HILL TO HELL (Public Affairs). The reason is that Hamburg is a friend and one of the gentler, more considerate people I know in this town, and because there's an unresolved element in his book that I've been trying to sort out in my head.

The book is about Hamburg's up-and-down, ultimately despairing experience with Stone over the last eight or nine years. The Oscar-winning writer-director of PLATOON, BORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY and JFK hired Hamburg, a former assistant to U.S. Senator John Kerry and former Congressman Lee Hamilton, to work for him around '93 or thereabouts. Hamburg would up co-producing NIXON and ANY GIVEN SUNDAY before severing ties with Stone after SUNDAY's release in '99.

The book is essentially the story of a nice, reasonable, liberal-minded guy grappling with the mood swings of a brilliant, eccentric, sometimes irrational and self-destructive filmmaker, and finally deducing he and Stone are not fated for lifelong partnership.

But of course, no one who's worked with Stone in any capacity has lasted with him. Everybody knows he's an egotist and a piece of work, but this is what slightly mad artist-adventurers tend to be like. Is there anyone who thinks Napoleon Bonaparte, Pablo Picasso, George S. Patton or Eric von Stroheim were mellow, shoulder-shrugging go-alongers? Go to work for one of these guys and you're riding the whirlwind. Especially, as Hamburg contends, when substance-abuse issues are part of the picture.

Hamburg portrays Stone as a guy who rode a whirlwind himself for roughly ten years as Hollywood's reigning incendiary political filmmaker. Stone played out his string as far as he could until NIXON tanked in '95 and the industry jackals sensed he was running out of gas, which apparently depressed Stone and turned him into more of a party boy than he'd been all along, and which also eventually pushed him in the direction of making non-political films like U-TURN and ANY GIVEN SUNDAY.

The prose is smoothly-assembled and sounds like Eric -- he's being true to himself and the way he sees things. But the book suffers, I think, from being a little too calm and contained. You start reading it expecting a fuck-you tome, but Hamburg may be too nice a guy for this. Producer Jane Hamsher gored Stone, Quentin Tarantino and several others in her tell-all book, KILLER INSTINCT -- too well, actually, since it apparently burned some bridges for her. But at least she produced a tart, blistering read.

Hamburg sometimes rises to the occasion. There's a passage re-printed on the inside book jacket that contains one of his vervier observations. Stone inhabited "an alternate reality" that Hamburg calls "the Oliver Zone...a universe of strongly-held principles and petty money-grubbing, slavish sycophancy and paranoia, creativity and appalling self-centeredness."

And he really lays into Dan Halstead, a reputedly opportunistic, Sammy Glick-like producer and former studio executive whom Stone hooked up with during his post-political downslide period in the late '90s. Hamburg repeatedly refers to him as "Danny the Weasel." But I wish he could have provided some dirty stories about Stone and Halstead catting around together, or something along these lines. I like bad-boy stories. It gives me, the wimpy stay-at-home, a chance to sample forbidden fruits by proxy.

Hamburg is one of several Washington, D.C. players who've moved west and come to drink at the Hollywood trough. These include former Nixon counsel John Dean (who's co-written a script with Hamburg); former White House press secretaries Dee Dee Myers and Marlin Fitzwater, who're now consulting for THE WEST WING; former political handler Pat Caddell; and former speeechwriter and current screenwriter Marty Kaplan, who's married to former Michael Dukakais campaign strategist Susan Estrich.

Eric just returned from a confab in Cuba that examined the 40th Anniversary of the Cuban Missile Crisis. Two or three Kennedy-administration veterans of the 1962 crisis -- Ted Sorensen, Arthur Schlesinger, et. al. -- attended. Hamburg, who's written scripts about the Camp David Peace Accord and the Pentagon Papers scandal, says he's now working with 13 DAYS producer Pete Almond about the Cuban view of the missile crisis.

Hard on Anita?

"I'm still scratching my head about the 'just the facts ma'am' approach you took in your item on the arrest of Alexander Proctor, the ex-con recently arrested on charges of threatening L.A. TIMES reporter Anita Busch. I was disappointed you chose not to point out that the arrest has silenced the snide speculation among Hollywood insiders -- which you yourself wrote about -- that Anita was either overreacting to the apparent death threats or simply making the whole thing up.

"Your uncharacteristic police-blotter-style report was particularly surprising given the skeptical tone of your own article on the incident, which concluded, 'I would be less than candid if I didn't disclose that certain voices within the small community of industry reporters and observers are reacting to this story with arched eyebrows.'

"I'm not saying a mea culpa was required, but as an observer of entertainment journalism it seems you missed a chance to reflect on the question of why the town was so hard on Busch. The general idea seemed to be that she's neurotic and overdramatic. Busch may be a little high strung, but since when is Hollywood so intolerant of neuroses and drama? After all, compared to half the half the B actresses and mid-level agents in this town (or their assistants for that matter) Busch comes off like Ben Stein. And while it's easy to poke fun at Anita's furtive tour of the better L.A. hotels during this episode, what would any of have done if we received what we believed to be a credible death threat from someone who knew where we lived?

"Perhaps some of the the bad-mouthing had something to do with the fact that Anita is a tough journalist who doesn't play by the PR rules, sometimes shoots from the hip, and has pissed off a lot of big shots? Whatever the reason, it must have really sucked to genuinely fear for your life and have everyone whispering behind your back at the same time." -- Dispassionate Industry Observer

Wells to Dispassionate Industry Observer: Fair enough. I guess I just didn't like the weenie way the TIMES handled the whole story -- i.e., refusing to return calls and not reporting it in any way, but at the same time buying into the whole melodramatic hideout thing, etc..I'm glad it's over and that no one got hurt.

Adaptation

"Isn't ADAPTATION the type of movie that has Oscar written all over it? All it needs is to be commercially successful, which, having seen the trailer, I believe it will be. People started laughing as soon as they saw Nicolas Cage with that ridiculous hair. I saw it with two friends, and we are all looking forward to this movie, even though we have very different tastes. The most likely obstacle I see is that the movie might be difficult to follow, but let's wait and see.

Even though I haven't seen it, I am speculating a Best Actor nomination for Cage, and repeat nominations for Spike Jonze and Charlie Kaufman. Plus a freebie for Streep. Maybe even a Best Picture nod? I mean, this movie looks interesting, which most of this year's movies do not (aside from PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE). They might look respectable, masterful, or attractive... but not interesting." -- Zheng Wang, Cambridge, MA

"Well, I kinda of expected you to give a great review about ADAPTATION after reading your script review...now that's confirmed. I wanna see this film so much. What about its chances? Will it be in your top ten? What about the performances? Nic Cage? Chris Cooper? What about the wonderful Meryl Streep? Oscar chances or critics awards?" -- Andre Roquete, Brazil

Wells to Roquete: It's definitely a top-tenner, maybe even a top-fiver. Cage for Best Actor, certainly. I'm already hearing reports from the idiot wing of the Academy, with some of the oldsters apparently voicing the view that the last act of ADAPTATION is somehow oblique or unsatisfying or otherwise hard to figure. Hearing this ticks me off to no end. I know what "too weird" means, and I know what overly tricky and hard-to-read and too-hip-for-the-masses feels like, and this movie is NOT THAT.

Titanic Plus Five

"The sentiments toward TITANIC have certainly turned against the film, but I don't think it's due to a perceived dimishment of quality. It' simply due the fact that TITANIC became the exclusive property of saucer-eyed teenage girls who fell in love with Leo's character and returned again and again to watch his tragic fate unspool. TITANIC became such an event -- dominating the box-office for months, appearing on every magazine cover, jumpstarting a glut of books to rival the 9-11 attacks -- that people eventually became sick of it.

"This should not reflect on the film itself. It is a magnificently constructed story, with a present-day beginning that foreshadows and explains later events, a non-offensive love story to give forge some emotional bonds, and finally the thrilling and ultimately heartbreaking third act when the ship goes down. Of course there is some soggy dialogue, broadly-painted characters, and a meet-cute between Leo and Kate that stretched the bounds of credulity, but the high points -- the spectacle, the emotion, the haunting finale -- more than make up for it. You only have to watch PEARL HARBOR, which tried to capitalize on TITANIC's success, to see how well it was done. -- Matthias Kraemer, Omaha, NE

"I liked TITANIC when I first saw it and I still like it. This opinion has earned me some derision over the years. Like you, I sense embarrassment among people who helped make it the #1 box-office champion. Of course Oscar backlash is a common enough thing (I recall many folks denigrating DANCES WITH WOLVES in the aftermath) but it seems to be harsher than normal with TITANIC.

"I think criticism of TITANIC is often shallow and knee-jerk. People say the writing is bad, when they really mean the dialogue is bad (which it often is). Structurally, the film holds up well and builds to a stunning climax. What always gets me about the movie is its completeness -- the way it takes you all the way through the disaster so that it feels like you've gone through death and come out the other end. The denouement, in which Kate Winslet finds herself alone in a field of frozen bodies, is unlike anything I have ever seen, and the final shot of Di Caprio sinking into the sea is a deeply haunting image.

"I don't think TITANIC is a great movie, but I do think it's a very good one -- it's flawed but succeeds where it counts, and I'm impressed by the sheer guts and determination it must have taken Cameron and his studio backers to get it made." -- Gordon Cameron

"I found your piece about TITANIC really interesting because I have also felt that kind of negative reaction over the last five years. I think it's partly to do with the Oscar curse - i.e., movies that are initially praised only to be looked back upon with contempt. TITANIC was a good movie from the beginning. I liked it and still do, but it was really hard getting over its much publicized run. I know people who still can't stand hearing Celine Dion's closing-title tune. At first Leonardo DiCaprio's performance was considered a genuine best, then it was kind of embarrassing to admit Leo is a good actor, since, you know, "only young girls go crazy over him and I'm too edgy to get into it". -- Pepe Ruiloba, Vera Cuz, Mexico

"I don't give a damn what everyone says or thinks. Effective is effective, now or five years ago, and TITANIC still works. I'm not on the fence about this, even though LA CONFIDENTIAL was by far the better film. Kate Winslet nailed her character and Leo DiCaprio nailed his. The effects were jaw-dropping then and they still are now. And the final half hour is still one of the most riveting ever made." -- Alan Cerny, Houston, TX

"You may be right about TITANIC cynicism. The revisionist barrage has made me doubt my own recollection, as if my enjoyment of Cameron's work was some pernicious False Memory. But in Britain the national mood was very different five years ago. The aftermath of Diana's death now seems part of some distant, stranger world, and I can't help wondering if the public's embracing of TITANIC wasn't part of that phenomenon too." -- Nick Setchfield, features editor, SFX, London, England.

Sandler

"I have yet to see P.T. Anderson's PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE, but I've heard nothing but rave reviews. Nearly everyone has mentioned Adam Sandler's performance. I'm curious what you feel about his performance, and whether or not he's a likely Oscar contender?" -- Colby Clugston, Hillsdale, MI

Wells to Clugston: I thought he was fine -- restrained, internal, hilarious at the right moments -- although the performance was still basically shtick. Put all thoughts of Academy glory out of your mind. It won't happen.

Ring Ding

"Based on the scattershot buzz on THE RING, I wasn't expecting much of anything going into it; perhaps a good SIXTH SENSE-kind of creepy vibe, and a few good jumps. I'm not at all scared by most movies these days, and when I am, it's only when they tap into some sort of primal vein. THE EXORCIST is really the only film that ever makes me cringe in dread when I see it.

"But I was relaxed enough to check my cynicism at the door (or maybe just anxious walking across a dark parking lot to a Washington-area theater, what with the sniper and all), but something in THE RING just clicked for me. I expected Velveeta considering the vileness of Gore Verbinski's THE MEXICAN, but instead was quite surprised. Kudos again to a director who understands that economy, efficiency, and subtlety are inevitably scarier than gallons of blood and simple startles around the corner.

"Some images-- especially those flashed just for a moment, like that of the dead teenage Katie after her mother finds her-- were incredibly disturbing. How could Roger Ebert, a reviewer I often use as a benchmark of consistency, review THE RING as negatively as he did manipulative schlock such as WHAT LIES BENEATH? They both rely on similar techniques, have numerous false endings, and finish up with flashy effects, but unlike in that earlier machine-stamped, predictable-at-every-turn product, THE RING pulled off almost all the tricks it attempted.

"For once, I found that the multiple endings actually increased the suspense level. The penultimate ending made good use of what could have been lame CGI, but given the context had me banging the armrest. To get suckered in by a scary movie you have to check your irony at the door, but nobody talked back to this movie, so I wasn't alone in recognizing an honest attempt when I saw it.

"I guess the best thing about THE RING, and one reason why the film allowed me to forgive the plot holes I inevitably thought of later, is that while it rips off THE SIXTH SENSE in many ways (the now-ubiquitous spooky child, for one), the film wouldn't have succeeded nearly as well had I not been groomed to expect the happy ending. Instead of some touchy/feely New Age tale about spirits seeking closure, this film had the courage to deliver a deliciously evil ending. The story wasn't much more sophisticated then a campfire tale, but those stories can still be scary when you're in the right mood, and they're told well." -- David Kozik, Arlington, Virginia

Dancing with Dunces

"Phillip Seymour Hoffman is the best and most obvious choice to play Reilly in the CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES movie. I mentioned this to producer/writer Scott Kramer years ago, but I still maintain that he and his Miramax partners should launch a nationwide casting search to fill the bill. This would be a bold move, ultimately making for an early marketing coup. Hell, they wouldn't have to travel far from Hollywood, because I have the perfect as-yet-unknown candidate.

"His name is Charlie Black -- an idiot savant-type living in Whittier. Physically, emotionally and creatively, Charlie's one of many young men who deserve to get a screen test. Are you hearing me, Scott Kramer? Charlie's e-mail is MediaJones@aol.com. Test this guy, and at least your eyes will be open to the possibility of finding the right Ignatius." -- Mark Ebner, journalist, book author & all-around malcontent

"As an ex-Southerner and frequent New Orleans visitor, I loved this book and have always dreaded what the film version would look like. I can't see the humor translating well to the screen. I fear another BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES. It sounds like they'll play up the romantic angle with Drew signed on. I know the people involved can produce something good, but I wonder if it'll re ally be the same story. Just like Holden Caufield, Ignatius Reilly is a great literary character that will be extremely difficult to turn into a movie protagonist." -- Jason Williams, Garden Grove, CA

"This book should not be turned into a movie. It will be ruined -- there's no way they can capture the depth of it. I read Steven Soderbergh's adaptation a long time ago and he screwed it up. You simply can't fit that much story into a two-hour movie. They're going to condense it and strip it of its power. Like THE ADVENTURES OF KAVALIER AND CLAY, another Pulitzer Prize w inner, Hollywood should leave it alone and let it exist as a book. But what am I thinking? This is Hollywood! As for you, Jeff, I'd suggest you pick up the book. You'll be happy you did." -- M. McCabe

Wells to McCabe: Okay, I'll read the book...right after I finish Balsamic Dreams . I can't wait to immerse myself in a bloated precocious fatboy frame of mind.

Role Playing

NEW YORK magazine's monthly Hollywood columnist Anne Thompson was first to identify Wednesday's cast. They appeared together in John Huston's MOULIN ROUGE (1953).

Today's cast: Mark Wahlberg, Danny DeVito, Gregory Hines, James Remar, Lilo Brancato, Kadeem Hardison, Stacey Dash, Richard T. Jones, Peter Simmons, Jennifer Lewis.

What's That Line?

Rick Dallago was first to identify Wednesday's dialogue. Then again, he had an advantage since the dialogue is from John Stockwell's BLUE CRUSH, and Dallago produces films with Stockwell, so there you go. The dialogue was primarily written by Lizzy Weiss. "That particular scene was cut from the film," says Dallago, "but will eventually live on DVD."

Time for an easy one. A screenwriter is trying to define to a producer a particular direction he'd like to pursue on a new project, and is searching for the right words.

Producer: Okay, great, great! (half a beat) I guess I'm not exactly sure what that means.
Screenwriter: Oh, well, I'm...not exactly sure yet either. So...y'know...it's....
Producer: Oh. Okay. Great. So, um, what...?
Screenwriter: It's just, I don't want to compromise by making it a Hollywood product. An [name of flower] heist movie. Or changing the [flower] into poppies and turning it into a movie about drug running, y'know?
Producer: Oh, of course. We agree. Definitely.
Screenwriter: Or cramming in sex, or car chases, or guns. Or characters learning profound life lessons. Or characters growing or characters changing or characters coming to like each other or characters overcoming obstacles to succeed in the end. Y'know? Movie shit.

Name the film, the year of release, the director, the screenwriter(s), and -- here's the slightly tough part -- the names of both actors in the scene.