Each week in GRAND DELUSIONS, we'll be taking a look at unsolicited letters that were sent to various production companies, studios, and agents around Hollywood in the past few years. These are the ideas that slip through the cracks of the development world. Flashes of cinematic genius that spark, only to fizzle, then fade away into obscurity...Some are funny, some are scary, some are pitiful, some are incomprehensible-but they all share one quality: they're REAL! Names and addresses have been removed in most cases to protect the innocent (and spare them the mockery and ridicule... ). Join us now for a trip into the bizarre world of Hollywood wannabes!
We've got 5 brief letters from the same writer in this week's GRAND DELUSIONS! Being persistent and prolific can sometimes pay off big for writers like this who just keep at it. Oh, who am I fooling?! No it can't, at least not when your ideas are anything like this!
The first idea from Mr. Prolific is a perfect example of how NOT to write a logline: it tells us absolutely nothing specific about the story. Plus, when was the last time that "development" was profitable for ANYONE (well, except overpaid development executives like myself, that is...)?
The second idea ups the ante substantially. Really, is it even theoretically possible to come up with a more bizarre blend of plot threads here? The title makes it sound like a Sylvia Plath poem, too...
The third idea confuses me, to be honest. Exactly what good does it do for a mobster to tie someone to an air mattress and oxygen mask before throwing them into the water? Wouldn't that just make them float? Whatever happened to the good ol' days of cement shoes?
And finally, we come to the fourth idea. Has the author ever gotten hit with a baseball bat WITHOUT the lumps? Or, for that matter, had a laser ray shot at him? I'm still trying to figure out how a laser ray shooting mechanical dog allows anyone to travel freely amongst crowds, too...
In next week's GRAND DELUSIONS, we'll bring you a Tennessee Winston Luke wannabe, and a fascinating story about water...that isn't water...or maybe it is, but in another form...and FBI agents...that aren't FBI agents...or maybe they are.
If you have any weird, wacky, or bizarre letters for GRAND DELUSIONS, please contact Jason Pritchett at
jsnpritchett@moviepoopshoot.com.
SHOOT-BACK HERE! |
ARCHIVES
