By Scott Tipton
June 25, 2003
CONVENTIONAL THINKING
You can smell it in the air, can’t you? The sweet bouquet of recirculated air, musty old comics and eight-dollar hot dogs. Yes, breathe deep, friends, because Summer Convention Season is nearly upon us. A mere three weeks away is COMIC-CON INTERNATIONAL: SAN DIEGO, considered by pretty much everyone to be the biggest comic-book, science-fiction, toy and pop-culture convention on the planet. Three weeks after that comes WIZARD WORLD: CHICAGO, which nowadays runs a close second, from what I’m told, having never made it out to the show. If you’ve never been to one of these geek-xtravaganzas, and you’re any sort of a comics, movie or pop-culture buff (and let’s face it: you wouldn’t be hanging out here if you weren’t), you really owe it to yourselves to make the trip and see for yourselves what Fanboy Heaven looks like. If nothing else, the freakshow of fans dressed up for the Masquerade is worth the trip. And the Klingons … oh, the Klingons … but I’ll get back to that.
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Anyway, I thought I’d break format this week and provide a helpful guide for those of you who may be going to your first giant convention this year. It truly can be intimidating to the first-timer, but just listen to your trusty COMICS 101 Professor and we’ll get you up to speed in no time. Let’s get started:
THE PLACE IS BIG. I MEAN, REALLY BIG.
There’s a reason the show runs for four days. I can’t speak to Chicago, but the recently expanded San Diego Convention Center is freakin’ enormous. No lie: standing at one end of the Dealer’s Room, you can’t see the other side, just the blur of the horizon as the aisle numbers go on and on.
So how do you cover all those dealers and exhibitors? If you can go for all four days, do it. There will be plenty to see, so don’t worry about being bored. Trust me on this, though. Bring at least two pairs of comfortable walking shoes, and alternate them day to day. You will be standing and walking at least eight hours a day (far more than an officedweller like me is accustomed to), and your feet will thank you.
THERE’S AN UPSTAIRS?
Yes, there’s more to San Diego than just the huge Dealer’s Room. I’ve known people who went for the entire four days and never left the floor. Dopes, they’re called. You see, there’s so much more going on than just the Dealer’s Room.
Upstairs are dozens and dozens of conference rooms, large and small, where movies are being shown, interviews are taking place, question-and-answer sessions are being held, you name it. In recent years, the studios have really pulled out all the stops when it comes to promoting the big movies. Last year, Ben Affleck, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bryan Singer and Jason Lee were all surprise last-minute guests there to promote their upcoming projects. Besides the guests, the studios often provide brand-new trailers, clips, blooper reels and sometimes entire episodes of upcoming series to show off. (Rumor has it that this year Cartoon Network will be sneak-previewing an episode of their new TEEN TITANS animated series.)
PLAN YOUR ATTACK
Know what you’re looking for, who you want to see, and where things are. Do your homework. Usually Comic-Con’s Web site has all kinds of information posted the week before the show. Once you’ve got the program, use it. Figure out what your priorities are. Mainly focused on scoring all the exclusive toys? Find the toy company booths on the map and plan on hitting them first, because they do sell out. Mostly looking to get your comics autographed? Check the schedule, and get there early; the lines can get long, and they’re often cut off due to capacity issues.
IT’S ALL ABOUT THE BENJAMINS
I’m talking cash. Bring plenty. Whatever it is you collect, whether it’s comics, toys, books, posters, you name it, if there’s something you’ve been trying to find for years, odds are pretty good you’ll see it in the Dealer’s Room.
And you don’t want to be caught without any funds when you find it. Make sure and hit the ATM in the morning before you go to the convention. Yes, there are ATMs in the Convention Center, but with 40,000 attendees at the show, the lines can get pretty long, and it’s not uncommon for them to run out of cash. Some people set a limit for themselves on how much they can spend, so they don’t go crazy on the credit cards. Others throw caution to the winds, like our own Fearless Leader Ryall a few years back…
DON”T PANIC
However, just because you’re finally seeing some rare goodies doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do a little comparison shopping.
I remember the first comic convention I ever went to: at the first table was the X-MEN/TEEN TITANS book I’d only heard about (my small town had no comic shop, so I was still buying my comics at Quik Stop. Remember when you could buy comics at a Quik Stop?), so I slapped down the seven dollars and snatched it up. And walked right along to a table five feet away that was selling it for three and a half bucks. Li’l Scott was none too pleased. Three and a half bucks was huge back then. That could’ve been six more comic books! Also, don’t be afraid to haggle, especially on Sunday afternoon, when all that’s on the dealers’ minds is the fact that they have to be out of that building in four hours, and the less they have to pack up, the better.
CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?
If you’re there with friends and you split up, cell phones are a must, because you will not be able to find one another just by looking around. And if your buddy has spotted that Mego Green Arrow Mobile you’ve been looking for since 1979, you’re going to want him to be able to reach you.
”HOT DOG AND A COKE? THAT’LL BE FOURTEEN DOLLARS”
Here’s the thing about convention food. It’s really expensive, and often not that good. Sometimes, though, you’ve got no choice but to eat at the show. To minimize your expenses, make sure to bring your own bottled water, and maybe something like granola bars that you can throw in a backpack just in case. Also, always eat breakfast outside the Convention Center, either at the hotel or somewhere in town. Here’s a little cautionary tale to explain why:
A few years back, I overslept and didn’t have time to eat before getting to the show for an early Star Wars panel I wanted to catch. (This was just before Episode One, so Star Wars hype was at a fever pitch.) On the way into the auditorium, I grabbed some sort of muffin, I think banana or something, from one of the Convention vendors. Down I sit, and as I listen to the Lucasfilm hack start to explain what they’d be showing, I scarf the muffin. About 10 minutes later, things aren’t feelin’ so good, if you know what I mean. About two minutes after that, I’m sprinting to the men’s room like Carl Lewis.
Fifteen thoroughly unpleasant minutes later, I slump back down in my seat in the auditorium. “So what’d I miss?” I ask.
“They just showed all the deleted footage from STAR WARS with Luke’s buddy Biggs on Tatooine. They said it’d never been shown before, and now it was going back in the vault.”
So, yeah. Make sure to get breakfast first.
MEDIC!
Once you’re in the Convention, getting out again can be a pain, so make sure to pack whatever you might need with you, like aspirin, anti-nausea medicine (in case, say, you’re given a case of the fast-track sallies by a poisoned banana muffin), whatever. Also, and I know this is gonna make me sound like Howard Hughes walking around with Kleenex boxes on my feet, bringing along some hand sanitizer wouldn’t be a bad idea either; between poring through dusty back-issue boxes and all the hand-shaking you wind up doing if you’re there in any sort of professional capacity, your mitts are gonna feel pretty gritty from time to time, and the last thing you want to do is come down with a cold on Day Two.
YOU CAN SLEEP WHEN YOU’RE DEAD
Trust me on this one. If you want to park at the Convention Center, get up early. Usually the gates open at 8 a.m., and without fail the place is filled up by 9:15 or so. The nice thing about having your car at the show is that you can drop off any, say, unwieldy purchases that would be difficult to lug around all day…
ETIQUETTE AND PROTOCOL
A little consideration goes a long way, especially at Comic-Con, where the crowds are big, sometimes the lines are long, and tempers can run a little high. Accordingly:
If you’re planning on getting some comics signed, don’t go up there with an artist’s entire run in a short box and expect him to sign all 50 issues. (I’ve seen people try this. Honestly.) Pick out a few choice issues and leave it at that.
Take the comics out of the bag before you hand them to the artist. An actual exchange I witnessed:
ARTIST: “Would you mind taking the comic out of the bag, please?”
SURLY FANBOY: “What, you’re too much of a big shot to do it yourself?”
ARTIST: “No, I just don’t want to snag your comic on the tape.”
Along those lines, try and remember that while you may have been in line for 10 or 15 minutes, there’s a good chance that the person who’s signing has been there for two or three hours, and he may not be at his wittiest or most personable, so be polite and try and cut them a little slack.
Although I did say that cell phones are a must, do remember to turn them down or on “vibrate” when attending panels or movies. Often it’s hard enough to hear the speaker without someone’s Nokia rattling off “Meet the Flintstones” two rows in front of you.
ALLEY OOP!
Don’t forget to take a stroll down Artist’s Alley. This area, where illustrators can purchase tables from which to sell original art and do sketches, is often overlooked in the flash and buzz of the Dealer’s Room. That’s a mistake.
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Not only can you pick up some fantastic prints and drawings that you won’t find anywhere else (and support some comics artists in the process), often you’ll get to meet some Golden Age greats who spend their retirement meeting the fans that they often never knew they had until recently. GREEN LANTERN creator Mart Nodell attends every year, and in recent years Comic-Con has done an excellent job of bringing in Golden Age artists who’ve never been to a convention before, like FLASH creator Harry Lampert, FLASH writer John Broome, Silver Age Marvel inker Dick Ayers, Golden and Silver Age great George Tuska, AQUAMAN and TEEN TITANS artist Nick Cardy, and many, many more. One of my favorite moments in any Comic-Con was a couple years back when I spoke to George Tuska and told him how much I enjoyed his Iron Man comics as a kid, and how his conception of Iron Man was still the way I saw the character in my mind’s eye. He looked up from the comics he was signing, at the line behind me waiting to meet him, then back to me, and said “I had no idea anyone even remembered.”
“WHAT ABOUT THE KLINGONS?”
Ah, yes. There’s no shortage of costumed, ah, enthusiasts at San Diego, God love ‘em. I can’t imagine what inspires someone to spend the whole day at the con dressed up like Darth Maul, but it makes me endlessly happy that they do. It just adds to the surreal, almost hallucinogenic atmosphere of the place.
The best day to go for people-watching is Saturday, the day of the Comic-Con’s Masquerade contest; many of the contestants wear their costumes all day to mark the occasion. You’ll see people who must have spent hours both at the sewing machine and at the gym to achieve the perfect look for the show…
and you’ll see some folks who let things slide on both counts.
As for the Klingons, they actually have their own little ceremony at the show every year, usually involving lots of smoke, gong-banging and carrying of big banners, and I think there might be some pain-sticks involved. I don’t even get it. Guys in Klingon suits always seem to take themselves way too seriously, so I usually check this train wreck out from a distance. Besides, some of these guys seem to take the Klingon approach to hygiene as well, if you know what I mean…
If you’re in San Diego for the Comic-Con, make sure and say hello to Scott at the Movie Poop Shoot booth. Or if you can’t wait, just e-mail him now at stipton99x@moviepoopshoot.com. Selected photos courtesy David Tipton.
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