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Breakdowns - Everybody Knows

January 9, 2003

“Everybody knows the boat is leaking
Everybody knows the captain lied
Everybody’s got this broken feeling
Like their father or their dog just died”
--Leonard Cohen, “Everybody Knows”

“There's only so much pus yellow I can take on one page”
--Paul O’Brien, reviewing EXILES #21 The X-Axis

Just a couple quotes from two guys who know how to write exactly the right thing. The latter just makes me laugh, the former (when played with the full lyric) makes me incredibly sad. Which explains why the pus quote is the second one, so I’m fine now.

Very nice response to my Best of 2002 columns, especially the second one, which really killed me to write. Thanks to all of you who wrote in. And I think even the shitty reviewers who did a Best Of would agree it’s easy to forget things. In this case, it’s not a would-be winner, but still a solid runner-up for both Best Graphic Novel or One-Shot and Funniest Book: THE PRO by Garth Ennis, Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti. Tremendously wrong and entertaining, achieving with little effort what Miller’s DARK KNIGHT sequel failed to do. And hey, how come the only pros who seem to have enjoyed DK2 are British, and can’t really explain what’s good about it? It’s like, trash superheroes and it’s got to be good or something, though they can’t point out anything really interesting or moving or funny or exceptional or tense?

Anyway, being a new year and all, a brief reintroduction to those whose New Year’s resolution was to find new ways to waste time aside from Nine Degrees of Jim Belushi. This is me, your new buddy Chris, who’s been doing reviews and columns for a couple years now. In fact, we’re closing in on the 100th Breakdowns very soon, for which I’ve planned…nothing. I get comics every week, but usually I’m catching up on too many good graphic novels and trade paperbacks to review more than a couple “mainstream” books, though I’m not anti-superhero or anything like that. My feeling is that if that 90% of everything is crap maxim is true, there are quite a few good superhero books, just like there are more than a few bad art comics. My tastes, I think you’ll find, are pretty diverse, though I mainly confine my reading to printed comics. If you have a webcomic or a cool minicomic you just printed off at work, I’d be happy to take a look at it. It’s just not something I automatically think about.

The style of the reviews varies, I think, based on the type of book and what’s called for. I don’t want to do the same thing over and over. And I think you’ll find almost every week there’s some book I read that I didn’t like at all, and those I tend to really take apart. Pretentiousness with minimal competence really gets me going. Anyway, that’s enough for now, there’s comics to talk about.

THE FANTASTIC FOUR: UNSTABLE MOLECULES #1 (OF 4) by James Sturm, Guy Davis and Richard Sikoryak. Marvel Comics. $2.99

“Science is about textiles, not time travel” – Reed Richards, 1958

Last week, I found DEADLINE to be the best miniseries of 2002, and now it looks like Guy Davis might be involved in another contender for Best Mini of 2003 honors. He illustrates James Sturm’s earthy and thoughtful take on the pre-superhero days of Reed Richards, Ben Grimm and Johnny and Sue Sturm. Yes, Sturm, not Storm. The goofy but endearing conceit here is that author Sturm found some articles in the attic relating the Cold War exploits of his distant relatives, and that subsequent research revealed that the Marvel Comics series created by Lee and Kirby was inspired by these real people. So instead of an irrelevant fleshing-out of the days leading up to that fateful space voyage, we get four real characters with real problems and foibles, who happen to look like The Fantastic Four. Reed is a respected scientist working on his unstable molecules idea, thinking of its practical applications in clothing, among other things, but poor Sue is neglected, and will be neglected even more now that Reed is called away suddenly on secret work for the government. Johnny is a lonely boy with one friend and several bullies, who has a crush on classmate Dorrie Evans but an even bigger fixation on comic book heroine Vapor Girl. And Ben Grimm is having a great life as a boxing trainer with a vivacious young girlfriend, though there’s trouble ahead when her father finds out.

None of these plot threads are particularly original or unusual, but the writing is good and real, and Sturm wisely and interestingly adds some sexual content to Johnny’s and Ben’s scenes, to contrast the stiffness of Reed and the frustration of Sue, who is like a single mother at too young an age, loving a man who isn’t making the most of her youth. The scientific, pugilistic and automotive bits all show admirable research, and the scenes are paced well. The back pages explain the gimmick, with some impressive fakery, and it comes off better than a similar pulled in THE SENTRY a couple years back. All in all, I liked it a lot, and really appreciated how the cover so honestly portrayed the contents as rather grounded and human, as well as a tribute to Stan and Jack.

THE DORMANT BEAST by Enki Bilal. Humanoids Publishing. $15.95

“I like to give each of my doubles a piece of my own body. It is part of my personal code of ethics.” – Dr. Warhole

Previously available in a smaller format softcover, this new oversized hardcover album is really the way to see this grim beauty. Bilal writes and paints this futuristic tale of the pain of memory and the need of some to wipe it away. Nike Hatzfeld has perfect recall of his life from birth. Just a baby, he swore to protect the babies on either side of him, Amir and Leyla, for the rest of his life. And that is just what he has to do, while trying to stay alive himself, because all three are targeted by the Obscurantis Order, a monstrous cabal bent on crushing individuality and thought, science, culture or history. In fact, the reason they want to kill Leyla is because she may know the location where God is hiding out. If they can find Him and kill Him, they will be the only option. Oddly enough, this is but a small part of the story, and will perhaps be explored further in an upcoming, long-awaited sequel. This book, aside from some sophisticated, time-jumping narration, is a somewhat straightforward action adventure, and at times a gruesome one, with Dr. Warhole one of the ugliest villains you’ll ever see, flies planting eggs in people’s bodies, and noses having laser guidance systems surgically implanted, then torn out. And this kind of gleefully cruel body torture is not uncommon to other books Humanoids publishes, like a lot of Jodorowsky work. But, like Jodorowsky, there are more emotional themes at play under the gore, themes of loyalty and the indomitable human spirit. The art is perfectly suited for this juxtaposition as well, with beautiful, thin people with perfect cheekbones in cool tones, but with an untamed, passionate quality in the streaks and trails of paint. It’s a stunning book, and the first in what I imagine will eventually be a shelf full of Bilal work.

THOR #58 by Dan Jurgens, Alan Davis and Robin Riggs. Marvel Comics. $2.25

“And what is the right way then? To sit back while a butcher turns his forces upon his own people? Allowing innocent men and women to be slain in their own homes for the crime of worshipping as they see fit? They cried out to me for succor, Iron Man.” – Thor

One of the best things about the Warren Ellis/Bryan Hitch run on THE AUTHORITY was really the simplest and most obvious: these guys did the things we would expect superheroes to do if they lived in our world. They killed dictators and other villains who would have just come back to trouble us some more if they weren’t put down. It was very satisfying to see, especially after decades of superheroes too busy with their own rogue’s galleries to effect any real change in the world. But you know, Ellis was smart enough to get out without having to deal with the aftermath and the sticky problems, say, killing a country’s leader might create. So I’ll give Jurgens credit for attempting some of this, with Thor in his recent role of Thunder God of Earth, deciding what’s right for humanity. And it’s not plotted badly, with clear examples of Thor’s growing arrogance and a somewhat meaningful hook to hang a crossover on, that Iron Man, as friend and other senior Avenger (and most importantly, a big believer in the system), would try to get Thor to step back and think about the consequences before he metes out his simple brand of justice. And of course, the Alan Davis art is always welcome, and a big reason why I picked the book up. But the story doesn’t quite work. In some ways, it’s not Jurgens’ fault. A village woman in the oppressed Slokovia has some fruit smashed in her face as an example of the cruelty of the fascist police, which is rather underwhelming, but one can’t expect a Marvel general audience book to feature rape or ethnic cleansing, right? And I suppose when Jurgens began writing this, we might not have been preparing to invade Iraq. But as much as I value escapism, the simplicities of this story when compared to the real-life troubles we read about every day, just didn’t work for me that well. It’s not a bad book, and I admit a) one doesn’t and maybe shouldn’t look for such facets in THOR, and b) there are probably lots of similarly simple comicbook takes on other issues I have no trouble swallowing. It’s just kind of an average, dispassionate gloss on real tragedy, with really good superhero art.

OFFERED VOL. 1 & 2 by Kazuo Koike and Ryoichi Ikegami. ComicsOne. $9.95
Fans of Koike’s writing of the justly legendary LONE WOLF & CUB manga (and movies!) may not know about this two-book series chock-full of sex, bullets, swords, underground cities and frozen sperm. I trust the last is enough to pique your interest, but just in case, let’s continue.

Yu Tachikawa is an American Olympic hopeful, a record-shattering sprinter who soon learns that his father is not the biological one. No, his mother was in fact fertilized by the sperm of the warrior Gilgamesh, the seed having lasted, frozen inside of a horn, for the last 42 centuries, give or take. He’s soon kidnapped by a woman bent on bearing his son, whom she thinks will be so powerful he will rule the world. He overcomes this, after sexing her down many, many times, and acquires some formidable bodyguards. Going back to MIT, he faces the outrage of students and fans who he let down by his disappearance at The Games, and he goes, with a gawky but cute professor, Ray, off to start a nudist colony. Hmm. Okay, just forget the plot summary, because you have to experience just how enjoyable the ridiculousness is, and it does capably build to an exciting airship climax with evil brother Mikhail, Ray and the eyeball in her vagina (moving right along!) and the hidden city of Agarthia, where the fate of the world is decided. Ikegami’s work is explosive, extremely detailed even in some very small panels, and often quite beautiful. The one problem is that Yu is such a haphazard, reluctant hero that it’s not that convincing when he finally gets worked up enough to face his destiny, but Koike keeps things moving with enough excitement to cover most of the flaws. He may be writing for a different, and hornier, audience than LW&C, but he’s never at a loss for emotionally charged, dramatic set-pieces.

THE HOUSE AT MAAKIES CORNER by Tony Millionaire. Fantagraphics Books. $19.95

Dog #1: “Say, do you smell something bad?”
Dog #2: “Well, I have half a turd hanging out of my ass…”
Dog #1: “I said do you smell something bad”?

Someday, Tony Millionaire will be regaling Satan with his voluminous collection of sea chantys, nautical terminology, and jokes about menstruation, suicide, alcoholism and pedophilia. But for now, let’s just enjoy it. This is a beautifully designed (by Chip Kidd) book that’s probably the best way I’ve seen comic strips presented, entirely too lavish for such corruptive brilliance. I love and condemn it. Bravo, villain.

2000 A.D. PROG 2003 by John Wagner, Gordon Rennie and Various. Rebellion.

“Let’s see whether your sword courage matches your lip courage!”

The world’s best comics magazine returns with an extra-long end-of-year issue, as is the custom of alien-editor Tharg. A significant portion of the pages are really just ads and pin-ups, but there’s still a good deal of content here, much of it the beginnings of brand-new serials, including a Judge Dredd/Aliens prequel that’s fun, if brief, and a beautiful and creepy new Sl’aine story, “The Books of Invasion,” which finds this Celtic warrior possibly getting ready to take back Ireland from some grotesque demons that have overrun it. The art is that one, by Clint Langley, relies heavily on the computer, resulting in a great look akin to THE MUMMY or a videogame. The monsters look like that, anyway, while the people are more realistic, and with fantastically detailed weapons and costumes. It, like most 2000 A.D. material, is good looking action stuff for boys-at-heart. A Nikolai Dante childhood story begins, and there’s not much to it yet, though I think John Burns is a great, underrated artist. There’s a nice feature where various artists (and some editors) pick their favorite covers from the mag’s history, and then there’s Caballistics, Inc., a new serial by Gordon Rennie and Dom Reardon that is probably the most promising in the mag. It concerns another one of those secret government organizations, this one started to combat Nazi occultism in the 40s and only now made redundant. So the operatives are looking for new funding, and they find it in one Ethan Kostabi, ex-rock star with a lot of money to spend. So far, so good, and good art from Reardon, who invests a lot of creepy mood in mostly talking heads scenes through his spotting of blacks.

The latest JUDGE DREDD MEGAZINE came out as well, with a new format, I think. Looks like more new content in the magazine, with a big reprint (the complete FIENDS OF THE EASTERN FRONT, a WWII vampire thing with Carlos Ezquerra art) as a separate mag, polybagged together.

DR. JEKYLL & MR. HYDE by Lorenzo Mattotti and Jerry Kramsky. NBM Publishing. $15.95

“Let me be damned…You must suffer me to go my own dark way. I have brought on myself a punishment and a danger I dare not name.”

Very rarely are sequential art adaptations of novels a worthy complement to the source material. At best, they give good artists some work in fields calling for perhaps more realism and mood than in mainstream superhero work. As good as Bill Sienkiewicz’ art was on the Classics Illustrated MOBY DICK, I wouldn’t say it brought the book alive for me. Perhaps David Mazzuchelli’s adaptation of Paul Auster’s CITY OF GLASS counts, and it is difficult to think of others. But now, we have another to add to this select list.

Kramsky and Mattotti bring their talents to Stevenson’s thriller, emphasizing the psychological horror and sexual frustration/release. Jekyll, the respected scientist and upstanding citizen, is too inhibited to rent the services of the leering prostitutes he passes on the street, but he knows when he returns to his home he can let the beast out to play. The first sex addict in literature, eventually the Hyde persona is not content to wait his turn, nor does he confine his passions to intercourse, as the brutal child clubbing in the first scene shows. Jekyll attempts to maintain his addiction and then goes cold turkey for a short time, until a provocative woman proves too much for his reserve. The liaison turns to murder, and it’s the beginning of the end for both, as they fight for control of the body they share.

Mattotti depicts Hyde as actually smaller than Jekyll, a hunched dynamo, his face dark with anger and dark delight. He uses a palette of oranges, reds and sickly lavender fleshtones that recalls Toulouse-Lautrec’s world of nocturnal debaucherers and emphasizes the temptations constantly facing Jekyll. No matter how well you know the story (and if you’re like me, it’s only through decades of tame or wrongheaded films), it is brought brilliantly and grippingly back to life in this incarnation.

THE GRENDEL SAGA
Part Seven: Four Devils, One Hell
GRENDEL TALES, which found Matt Wagner letting other talented creators play in the Grendel sandbox for one miniseries after another, was a long time in the making before finally arriving in 1993 with this first effort. I believe this may have been another effect of the collapse of original GRENDEL publisher Comico, who right around this time finally released the first BATMAN/GRENDEL miniseries, though it was completed in 1989.

GRENDEL TALES: FOUR DEVILS, ONE HELL by James Robinson and Teddy H. Kristiansen. Dark Horse Comics. $17.95
James Robinson was at this time making a name for himself as the writer of DC’s THE GOLDEN AGE when this miniseries finally came out, yet this earlier effort may be the superior one. It’s also a good choice to inaugurate the GRENDEL TALES series, because it makes clear that the object of these miniseries is merely to tell interesting stories dealing with Grendels, continuity be damned. Oh, there’s some mention of a Khan here, but this story, which takes place in New Orleans, could be any time. It’s a multi-character piece with four different Grendels all wanting something different. Calhoun is a gambler in Grendel bolo tie, seemingly defying the Grendel code by amassing riches, though he secretly donates them to orphans as atonement for a past sin. Gloria is a Grendel who hasn’t seen battle, merely collecting and preserving art for the glory of Grendel…or for herself? And Alfred Bixby was a Grendel accountant driven mad, with the voice of Charlemagne in his head, after losing the woman he loved in a card game. Who the fourth Grendel is is arguable, as Dulac is merely an enforcer and thug, with no real motive, but his boss, Renute, who effectively rules New Orleans, is not important until the end, but all the other characters are being drawn to him, and he does have a surprising purpose. And one of the most interesting characters, and the one who ironically is the best example of the noble Grendel values, is private eye Josef Mantovani, who is finishing a case even though his client died, just because it’s the right thing to do.

Robinson presents himself a challenge with so many characters and their goals, and comes very close to pulling it off. Gloria serves little purpose, as does Dulac, despite the cool costume. But Mantovani, Calhoun and the Quixotic Bixby are wonderfully realized, and come together in surprising and satisfying ways, and the addition of vampires can’t help but be fun. Kristiansen does some excellent work here in paint, particularly the monochromatic reds of a voodoo ritual and the chilly mansion of Renute. His work is quite like Wagner’s, in fact, and arguably better.

Next: Another GRENDEL TALES mini (actually two, which are connected) collected in trade paperback form; this time it’s GRENDEL TALES: DEVILS AND DEATHS, by Darko Macan and the late, great Edvin Biukovic.

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