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We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

Oh, and what do we call this competition?

MASTERS OF SONG FU

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Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as the ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be the Master in the final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all 3 Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

As with the last edition of Song Fu, all of the Challengers will be able to compete in every Challenge, and the Challenger with the most cumulative votes after the 3 Challenges will be the one that takes on the Master in the Final Round. So what was the first Challenge?

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ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

Write a song from the perspective of an inanimate object. This inanimate object must have no moving parts. Also no computers, no objects that look like living things, either human or animal (i.e. a statue, an action figure, etc.), and no celestial objects (i.e. the sun or the moon). Your song can be in any style you choose.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 45 seconds.

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THE CHALLENGERS

MOLLY LEWIS

When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?” She has not written any songs since. Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington. Molly defeated Masters Paul & Storm in Masters of Song Fu #3.

Official Website: www.sweetafton23.com/primer/
Twitter: twitter.com/Molly23
ROUND 1 SONG: Unfortunately, Molly was cornered by retaliatory dingoes sent by Paul & Storm, and was unable to compete in this Challenge.

EDRIC HALEEN

songfu-edrichaleen.jpgEdric has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. He is also happy to finally return his Happiness Board to the Internet. Check out the link on his web pages.

Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html
ROUND 1 SONG:All For This Moment

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

songfu-buckethatbobby.jpgI’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. Lately, I’ve been getting more into recording other singer/songwriters in my little, make-shift studio than I have been recording myself. I want Masters Of Song Fu to change that. I don’t really know what genre my music would fall under. Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been thinking of dropping the “BucketHat” from my stagename, but fear change.

Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
ROUND 1 SONG:Noose

MIKE LOMBARDO

Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. A recent graduate of Berklee College of Music, he spends most of his time banging on pianos, teaching children how to bang on pianos, or playing shows with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.

Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
ROUND 1 SONG:Rock Song

GöDZ PööDLZ

Legendz foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighborz and friendz will unite to form “Gödz Pöödlz” and battle the Mazterz or Song Fu for glory and bragging rightz! Gödz Pöödlz are Rüss Rögers and Röd Dürre. Rüss Rögers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Röd Dürre wrote and performed with the Goth Rock Godz “Sear”, and last year Röd won the Coor’s Light “Take the 4:53 to Happy Hour” songwriting contest! Remember, the heaviest of metals are soft!

Official Website: www.rockingjamboree.com
ROUND 1 SONG:Bad Penny

STEVE CHATTERTON

songfu-stevechatterton.pngHi, my name is Steve Chatterton, the quintessential one-man-band singer/songwriter net-based recording project. Mom always said I marched to the sound of a different drummer, but she never mentioned which one. Dad had a fondness for bagpipes. Fortunately, neither of them have any direct influence on my music. Specializing in quirky little guitar-oriented pop songs about bugs, the Scooby gang, pirates, palindromes, superheroes, old movies, infectious diseases, imaginary friends and sideshow freaks, I guess you could say I pretty much write love songs. I’m a cheesy bastard at heart. I’m a stay-at-home dad who’s looking to find more time in the studio when my youngest starts school in September. I have an ever-expanding back catalog (at least 3 albums worth & counting) I’m dying to share with the world one download at a time.

Official Website: www.stevechatterton.com
Twitter: twitter.com/SteveChatterton
ROUND 1 SONG:I Will Always Look Up To You

JUTZE SCHULT

Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to live in a dream world where there has been no Grunge and where he is a talented singer. Sometimes his little folky pop songs find their way into the real world. Here they suffer from his hoarse voice and the do-it-yourself home recording production, struggling to appeal off and on beaten musical paths.

Official Website: www.jutze.com
Twitter: twitter.com/schult
ROUND 1 SONG:Natalie Portman’s Doormat

JARRETT HEATHER

Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years. A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline. While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time. With no fanbase, loyal followers, obedient minions or friends, Jarrett will rely on his music-crafting skills alone to win over converts and earn votes.

Official Website: www.spaceparanoids.net
Twitter: twitter.com/SpaceParanoids
ROUND 1 SONG:Trapped Inside Your Sofa

AUDIOMOHEL

Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.

Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
ROUND 1 SONG:Hubcap Without A Home

JALEPENO HABANEROS

In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

Official Website: None
ROUND 1 SONG:Aquaman’s Trident’s Lament

THE SCRIBBLES

The Scribbles are one of the most popular ukulele-based trios in their entire 6th grade class. Oh sure, there is the rumor that Peter Choi hates them. Meh. He’s a hater. Ha ha. The Scribbles formed last November when they all agreed on the name. After that they bought some instruments and started writing songs and stuff. So far, they’ve played a handful of shows around their hometown of Springfield, MO. Everyone’s favorite song seems to be “The Robot Song”. Maybe it’s because robots really are taking over the world, or maybe because Connor wears the robot suit during that song and that’s pretty funny. Thanks to MySpace, they are now friends with really cool people like The Beatles and Weezer and Tom. They’ve said some really nice things like “iloveyouguys:D” and “thanx for the add:).” Oh, and by the way, Peter Choi, The Scribbles still luv u.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/thescribbles1
ROUND 1 SONG:Snuggie Like Me

GORBZILLA

songfu-gorbzilla.pngGorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer – Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.

Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG:I Am Your Pants

DARRELL MacLAINE

Darrell Maclaine has been devouring comedy songs and interesting music ever since he was old enough to know better, and is taking part in this competition essentially as penance for the amount of free music he has obtained via the previous rounds. He plays piano and keyboard bass as one fifth of oddball UK pop group The Directors (another fifth of the group, Mathew Cornah, possesses both more instrumental expertise and a much better home studio than him and will inevitably be press-ganged into contributing to his entries), and has decided to exercise his rusty songwriting muscles in the most embarrassingly public way possible.

Official Website: directors.mashedbins.com
ROUND 1 SONG:Strawberry Fool

BERG AND JERRY

Berg and Jerry are a small suburban acoustic group comprised of Andrew Berg (Lead Vocals, Melodica and, maybe, eventually the Ukulele) and Jerry Geleff (Guitar and Backup Vocals). Mid-summer ’08, Berg and Jerry began writing songs together and since then… well, basically nothing. As rookies to this competition, these guys hope to at least make one good song, and entertain at least one person (*fingers crossed*). Berg and Jerry have a fun ska/indie/punk acoustic sound and often try to write clever witty lyrics. So listen, laugh, and something else that starts with an “L”, because Berg and Jerry are ready to slightly attempt to be THE MASTERS OF SONG FU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Official Website: www.myspace.com/bergandjerry
ROUND 1 SONG:The Green Potato Chip Song

DERREK J. THOMPSON

Derrek J. Thompson is an irresponsible and unimportant song-writer and all-around creative type that lives in the middle of nowhere. His hobbies include sleeping and performing Bach at old-folks homes. He plays keyboards in a band called Anthropophobia but they don’t seem to be going anywhere. He hopes to become more disciplined with his creative endeavors as a result of Song Fu.

Official Website: www.derrekswords.com/
ROUND 1 SONG:O’Riely’s Underpants

JEREMY PIERSON

Jeremy’s turn-ons include big eyes, belly laughter, and long walks on the beach. Turn-offs include bad breath, knobby knees, and fungal growth. Huh? This isn’t my post for eHarmony.com? Oh. It’s for what? “Song Fu”? What’s that? I voluntarily submitted to participate? I’ve participated before? Oh. That. I didn’t get any votes last time? Oh, only a few? How many is “a few”? Eight? Why am I participating again? The challenge of it all and the friendly competition? Just to be considered, however briefly, a peer of Jonathan Coulton? Sweet.

Official Website: www.jeremypierson.com
ROUND 1 SONG:Your Welcome Mat

DENISE HUDSON

Denise lived in a grey house in the city of Austin. Her favorite pastimes were playing piano, polishing her guitar, and tormenting the geeky programmer boy who lived there. His name was Michael, but she never called him that… Isn’t that a wonderful bio???

Official Website: www.myspace.com/denisehudson
ROUND 1 SONG:Leave The Stone Alone, Yep

LEX VADER

Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.

Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com
ROUND 1 SONG:Just A Rock

TOM MILSOM

Tom Milsom is a musician, writer, artist and videomaker who has had nearly 2,000,000 views of his YouTube videos and has released an album, Awkward Ballads for the Easily Pleased, to murmurs of critical success. Faced with this onslaught of vague acceptance, he plans to release his second album, Painfully Mainstream, later this year, and is thrilled to be a part of this frankly charming and delightful competition.

Official Website: www.tommilsom.com
ROUND 1 SONG:The Raincoat’s Lament

CALEB HINES

Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders (not usually all at once) and baroque flute, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, ukulele. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

Official Website: NONE
ROUND 1 SONG:Ancient Wonder

MILES FROM NASHVILLE

Miles from Nashville was born in early 2009 when multi-instrumentalist Charlie Wolf and harmonica player Michael Ruhland ran into each-other one day at the Albertson’s supermarket in Hermosa Beach, CA. Miles from Nashville play an eclectic mix of country, folk, rock, blues, pop, indie rock, rap (just kidding), and polka that they like to call “guacamole rock”. They are currently working on their debut album, Songs about November, and have their very own website (though who doesn’t these days?). If you happen to have large sums of money and/or expensive guitars that you don’t need, they’ll be glad to put them to use for you. Miles from Nashville plays shows around Los Angeles, CA every so often, so be sure to check the website for gigs.

Official Website: www.milesfromnashville.com
ROUND 1 SONG:A Bridge To Nowhere

ANDREW THOMSON

Hello. I am singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, filmmaker, writer and activist Andrew Jon Thomson. I am honored to have played, collaborated, performed, and recorded with many outstanding musicians from many fantastic bands including the following current and past collaborators: The Memphis Horns, Dweezil Zappa, Anton Fig, Chuck Rainey, Tom Roady, Charlie Chalmers, Roades Chalmers Roades, Arthur Barrow, Walfredo Reyes Jr., Tommy Mars, Clayton Ivey, Charlie Morgan, Pablo Herrera (Cuba), Richard Nelson (Ireland), Mike Garson, Pat Mastellotto, Marc Muller, Rob Paporozzi, Sammy Merendino, Graham Maby, Paul Robinson (UK), Paul C. Robinson (US), Pete Lockett (UK),Victor Indrizzo, Fima Ephron, Dave “Fuze” Fiuczynski, Bassy B Brockman, David Gilmore, Victor Damiani, Todd Roper, Greg Brown, and DJ Qbert.

Official Website: www.helloandrew.com
ROUND 1 SONG:Someplace 2 Land: Bush’s Flight Suit’s Lament

CALEB LEE

To Whom It May Concern: Caleb didn’t want to write his own bio (musicians, eh?) so I will do the honours. After peddling his wares leading the criminally unnoticed Yay For Squares (www.myspace.com/yayforsquares) and playing an inadvisable amount of shows alongside good friends The Tastydactyls, Caleb decided to go solo in the early parts of 2008. Since then he’s enjoyed the success of dozens of fans and casual mentions on low-brow podcasts. With a flair for heartfelt song-writing and a wildly erotic combover, he’s hoping to win your love in this competition and will be wildly neurotic about it until he does so. – His bud, Aaron.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/caleblee
Twitter: twitter.com/thecaleblee
ROUND 1 SONG:How Man Years Bad Luck If You Break A Mirror’s Heart

RICHARD CLAYTON SPRING

Hailing from a small town in Southern Minnesota, Richard Clayton Spring has risen above the norm, blossoming into a beautiful butterfly of acoustic guitars, pianos, synths, electronic beats, and vocals ranging from the softest of whispers to the yelp of the Great Wolf. The only style of music Richard can’t write incredibly is generic pop music, or else he would be in a limousine drinking champagne with Lady GaGa. But he has acquired an auto-tuner, so he’s working his way there.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/richardclaytonspring
ROUND 1 SONG:Crazy Straw

SARA PARSONS

Parsons is a 20-year-old student from California. She can leap small buildings in a few bounds. She fears large fish, but for some reason not sharks or whales. Parsons always makes the same New Year’s resolution: to survive to see the next year. So far, this has worked well for her. Parsons comes from an impressive songwriting pedigree: her older brother wrote the song “Blue Moon” in 1934, managing to overcome his crippling dyslexia and the fact that the song was written 51 years before his birth. Parsons’s songwriting influences include Beethoven, The Beatles, and Weird Al. Her sense of humor comes from The Simpsons, Mystery Science Theater 3000, and her frequent injections of concentrated doses of Vitamin K. Parsons hopes to go far in this competition. If she doesn’t emerge victorious, she will be forced to turn to Operation Omega. Nobody wants that to happen.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup
ROUND 1 SONG:Throw Me Away

AUSTIN & THE PUDAKS

With only two members, the name may be misleading, but that seems to be a theme here. Austin Morley and Jeremy Pudak have been playing music together for several years now, and have never really settled on a genre or a name. In their younger days they would draw on rock influences like Rancid or The Ramones. In recent years, they have settled into slightly quieter influences like She & Him and Bob Dylan. Jeremy has always had a talent for the guitar, but Austin was not so lucky and decided to stick with a bass guitar. Austin & The Pudaks will be rocking your face off, but may not actually be in a rock genre. Be careful, as exposure to this amount of awesome has unpredictable effects.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/nodirectionhome89
ROUND 1 SONG:A Record Of Your Life

IAN & MELISSA

Melissa and Ian are two amateur musicians with a longtime love of composing and performing classical music. Whether this is useful or relevant for a songwriting competition remains to be seen. They are eagerly awaiting the “Write a song in the style of an obscure Baroque composer” round, ’cause somebody totally told them there would be such a round and why would someone lie like that?

Official Website: www.ianandmelissa.com
ROUND 1 SONG:I Remember

TRAVIS NORRIS

Over the twelve years since young-ish midwesterner Travis Norris first picked up a guitar, he has played and written music in a wide variety of genres ranging from rock that a-billies, metal of a medium or heavier weight, “outlaw” country (aka “the good kind”) and “frosty” jazz (not a real subgenre). Left to his own devices, something like “U2 meets Jonny Lang meets various two-to-three-hit-wonder bands of the ’90s indie/alternative scene” is what you’ll usually get. Travis’s instrumental talents range from lead guitar, 2nd lead guitar, rhythm guitar, auxiliary guitar, and bass (sorta). He can also drag and drop drum loops like you wouldn’t believe. He comes to this competition armed with three electric guitars, a neglected bass, an Ebow, and absolutely no fan base or public recognition. So be nice, eh? I hear he’s real sensitive when people that aren’t him make fun of him.

Official Website: NONE
ROUND 1 SONG:Enertronic Bow

THE GREMLINS

When we’re not turning scrap metal into transportation and weaponry suited to post-apocalyptic life, studying the obsolete sociopolitical establishment of the twenty-first century under the guise of civil service, or scouting subterranean wilds for a suitable base of operations, The Gremlins are dedicated to sabotaging the destructive technological forces that have become your way of life through whatever mischief is at our disposal. Banjos are fun, too.

Official Website: NONE
ROUND 1 SONG:Neutron Star

THE PERFECT PLACE

When two musicians marry one another, it’s a wonderful thing. When a multi-instrumental songwriter marries an amazing vocalist, it’s even better. Bud (oldest of three, one insane sibling of each gender) was born and raised in sunny San Diego, CA – a drummer first, guitarist second, and just about everything you could imagine third through last. Christin Joy (youngest of four, with 3 older brothers) was born and raised in beautiful Annapolis, MD – with the voice of an angel and the compassion to match; she is quite a wonderful singer and writer. The Perfect Place is a Husband/Wife duo that enjoys writing and performing music in their spare time. While their main area of expertise is theologically minded, they have been known to get a little silly from time to time. Masters of Song Fu should prove to be an interesting challenge, one we await with eager anticipation. Woot!

Official Website: www.myspace.com/oneperfectplace
ROUND 1 SONG:If I’ve Learned Anything

HIS NAME IS LEGS

His Name Is Legs is a newly-created rock band comprised of guitarist/vocalist/Song Fu veteran Hazen Nester and bassist Cameron Accola, who collaborated with Nester on two of his previous entries. Born out of a mutual love of Rush and talented musicians in general, His Name Is Legs pledges to provide listeners with an eclectic array of sounds designed to stimulate and elevate. What makes this band unique is that neither Accola nor Nester have ever met each other in person.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/hisnameislegs
ROUND 1 SONG:One Of The Team

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To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

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ROUND 1 VOTING

And now, it’s time for that all important voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SUNDAY, MAY 31st. If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again.

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ROUND 1 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

Which Song Fu Challengers brought the most fu to Round 1? (CHOOSE 5)

  • Berg & Jerry - "The Green Potato Chip Song" (9%, 163 Votes)
  • The Perfect Place - "If I've Learned Anything" (9%, 159 Votes)
  • Caleb Lee - "How Man Years Bad Luck If You Break A Mirror's Heart" (7%, 123 Votes)
  • Tom Milsom - "The Raincoat's Lament" (6%, 121 Votes)
  • Jarrett Heather - "Trapped Inside Your Sofa" (6%, 106 Votes)
  • Ian & Melissa - "I Remember" (6%, 103 Votes)
  • Sara Parsons - "Throw Me Away" (5%, 86 Votes)
  • Edric Haleen - "All For this Moment" (4%, 80 Votes)
  • Gorbzilla - "I Am Your Pants" (4%, 78 Votes)
  • Godz Poodlz - "Bad Penny" (4%, 77 Votes)
  • Lex Vader - "Just A Rock" (4%, 69 Votes)
  • Mike Lombardo - "Rock Song" (4%, 68 Votes)
  • The Scribbles - "Snuggie Like Me" (4%, 67 Votes)
  • Steve Chatterton - "I Will Always Look Up To You" (3%, 59 Votes)
  • The Gremlins - "Neutron Star" (3%, 52 Votes)
  • Darrell MacLaine - "Strawberry Fool" (3%, 47 Votes)
  • AudioMohel - "Hubcap Without A Home" (2%, 45 Votes)
  • Jutze Schult - "Natalie Portman's Doormat" (2%, 42 Votes)
  • Denise Hudson - "Leave The Stone Alone, Yep" (2%, 38 Votes)
  • Caleb Hines - "Ancient Wonder" (2%, 35 Votes)
  • Jeremy Pierson - "Your Welcome Mat" (2%, 32 Votes)
  • Travis Norris - "Enertronic Bow" (2%, 32 Votes)
  • His Name Is Legs - "One Of The Team" (2%, 30 Votes)
  • "Buckethat" Bobby Matheson - "Noose" (1%, 27 Votes)
  • Miles From Nashville - "A Bridge To Nowhere" (1%, 26 Votes)
  • Richard Clayton Spring - "Crazy Straw" (1%, 23 Votes)
  • Jalepeno Habaneros - "Aquaman's Trident's Lament" (1%, 23 Votes)
  • Andrew Thomson - "Someplace 2 Land: Bush's Flight Suit's Lament" (1%, 21 Votes)
  • Austin & The Pudaks - "A Record Of Your Life" (1%, 19 Votes)
  • Derrek J. Thompson - "O'Riely's Underpants" (1%, 13 Votes)

Total Voters: 1,292

Loading ... Loading ...

View Results

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If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

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Comments: 233 Comments

233 Responses to “Masters Of Song Fu #4: Round 1 Challenge Voting Begins!”

  1. Rod Durre Says:

    Personally, I’m hoping the next challenge is Gansta Rap! But maybe it’s just me. . .

    GöDZ PööDLZ is ready for any challenge which may come our way!

  2. Jane Zussman Says:

    It is not yet the END of voting time — yet I am unable to vote. I have voted in previous “fu’s” — but now, only a ranked listing shows, and there appears to be no way to “choose 5”; I have “refreshed” the page — but don’t know what a “cache” is and/or how to clear it. I vote for “All for this Moment” “I Will Always Look up to You” “Bad Penny” “Strawberry Fool” and “I Remember”.

  3. Ian & Melissa (Ian) Says:

    @Jane: Yeah, I’ve been trying to get people to vote for our song to break the tie with the sofa song, but everyone says you can’t vote. Erasing your cache doesn’t seem to help. Thanks for your would-be vote, though!

    Seriously, songs 1&2, 3&4 and 5&6 are all tied right now. I want to know if we’re in 5th or 6th!!!

    Also, some people asked me for the tabs for the guitar part for our song so I put it up on our webpage.

  4. Angelastic Says:

    Argh, it is so difficult to decide, especially when I’ve been reminded that voting is going to close soon. It was so much easier that round when I listened to all the songs repeatedly for a day, incrementing and decrementing ratings on my iPod, and finally settled on five songs, but forgot to vote before the deadline. Now I know I have to vote. But although there are a few songs I’ve eliminated from the daunting choice, there’s only one song (Trapped Inside Your Sofa) I know I’ll vote for, because it got stuck in my head a few times.

    At this point, I’m trying to narrow it down based on theoretical ideals, eliminating songs which just say ‘I am a X’ rather than letting it become apparent through the lyrics (I do improv, where we have to avoid things like this, because in real life it’s rare to actually say something as obvious as ‘I am a boy’ or ‘I am eating a banana’; even Tony Goldmark’s Verbal Exposition Guy is more subtle than that), and on the other end of the spectrum, the songs which I’ve listened to several times without figuring out for sure what the object is (I Remember, One of the Team… and the former gets a further minus point, although I do like the song, because it turns out to be about something with moving parts.)

    I doubt these technicalities will take me any closer to five though.

  5. Angelastic Says:

    Incidentally, I know nothing about Fallout Boy except that they’re reasonably popular on last.fm (or maybe they just advertise there? In any case, I’ve often seen the name around), but if I’ve learnt anything from The Perfect Place’s song title, it’s that long and irrelevant song titles make me forget which song it is, what it’s about, and whether I had liked it last time I listened and might want to vote for it. It is an amusing song title, though, just not very good at helping the song (rather than the title) gain ‘mindshare’, I guess. Ooh, I used a buzzword.

  6. Uncle K Says:

    Love you and love the song Caleb Lee , but sorry, I voted for Adam Lambert

  7. Angelastic Says:

    Though I kind of like the ‘first time I’ve been used’ line, I don’t really understand ‘throw me away’. You have something as uncommon as a spork, and yet… it’s disposable? I had to google ‘disposable spork’ to confirm that such a thing existed. So I learnt something, which is good. And now that I’ve seen pictures, I’m starting to convince myself that I might have seen one before.

    Anyway, I voted, but I’m not going to say who for, because that would mean rambling on about my reasons and potentially realising how flawed those reasons are. I’ll just say that I’m surprised at how scattered my votes were over the list when it’s sorted by votes.

  8. Caleb Lee Says:

    Holy shmoley!

    @Lex – You solved it for me…. I NEVER meant to make people get upset… I simply tweeted what I felt… 300 votes down to the CORRECT amount of votes was pretty major pawn@ge…. not that I write like that. But OMGZ.. I accidentally started something.

    Dear Legion of Caleb Lee fans – (j/k, Lol, ect)

    I will not say I’m unhappy with your support my dear friends but PLEEEEASE no more unhappy posts… anyone who MAY have voted for me now has a bad taste in their mouth… no one wants to be associated with angry people. =(

    I’d like to come away from this with people who like me and what I do… problem is they’re not interested in my comments and posts anymore.

    TRUE many of you voted and now cannot vote again.
    TRUE this is frustrating… but there is a light at the end of the tunnel………

    4 MORE ROUNDS!

    You can, and SHOULD, attempt to vote me to the top of all the next rounds IFFFFFF you think my song is the best. This contest isn’t rigged, they aren’t playing favorites, and no one should stop voting or listening or having FUN.

    I appreciate ALL of you very very very very much.

    Now lets OFFFFFFICIAAAALLLLLYYYY end the hub-bub-bub.

    In un-related news I hope the next challenge isn’t country… though I’m not opposed to such.

  9. Nancy Says:

    I haven’t voted yet… but I can’t. There’s just a bar graph under the names. How do I vote?

  10. Berg Says:

    @Nancy…its frozen soooo…you can’t…Ive been getting messages/emails/phone calls about it all day…not much we can do.

  11. Michelle Says:

    I can’t wait for this round to be over already.

  12. Denise Hudson Says:

    Here’s what I had to say. I give compliments. I’m not a critique-r. That’s just how it is. Hope I don’t offend. The only thing I do say is that there were a couple people with what I consider moving parts on their objects (doesn’t that sound rather suspect).
    I don’t really care. They were awesome, and it was great. Every song that was written was totally meant to exist at this time, during this week. Happy June-eve.

    Without further ado:
    DENISE’S 10-WORD-HAPPYFACE-“CRITIQUE”-OF-Y’ALL’S-SONGS

    -EDRIC: haunting rubato and sentimental meandering to sweet finish. Classy, man.
    -“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY: You framed the concept charmingly with the bass and structure 🙂
    -MR LOMBARDO: Your lick and hook is smooth and comes off cool.
    -Go*DZ Po*o*DLZ: Delightful fellows singing a catchy and effective song. Well produced!
    -STEVE CHATTERTON: Starts promising, and then DELIVERS with genius. Dude, you’re good …
    -JUTZE: I bought your idea, thoroughly enjoying persona, performance, and writing 🙂
    JARRETT “Sofa” HEATHER : I can’t get it out of my mind. That’s AWESOME!
    -AUDIOMOHEL: I wanna put this hubcap on my dancehall wall. Swingit!
    -HABANEROS: You guys are way too much fun, with cool lyrics 🙂
    -THE SCRIBBLES: Cute, clever song. No cussin’ from me around y’all sweeties 🙂
    -GORBZILLA: Zippers move, MASTERFUL songdude. But I don’t give a flying … 😉
    -DARRELL MACLAINE: Your pleasant, well-produced song entertained; and you’re Scribbles-level cute!
    BERG&JERRY: A green potato chip is an important, original idea. Good song.
    DERREK *: Love child of Rusty Warren and Sponge Bob. Masterfully hysterical!
    JEREMY PIERSON: Nothing tastier than shoppin’ mall vibes and groovy harmonies. Disco!
    LEX VADER: Got the moon thing; plus I’m a big fan now.
    TOM MILSOM: Your charming and delightful song surprised me. I paid attention. 🙂
    CALEB HINES: Impressed with your skillful mode use and apparent stylistic range.
    MILES FROM NASHVILLE: Mournful, wistful. Way to make harmonica set the scene. Nice.
    ANDREW THOMSON: Do flightsuits have zippers, too? … Whatever … awesome idea, players, songwriting. 🙂
    CALEB LEE: Unfortunate week, but … Hitworthy song + erotic combover = genuine rockstar! 🙂
    RICHARD CLAYTON SPRING: Original, ingenious, I NEVER thought of doing this one. Fetching.
    SARA PARSONS: You dear, have a lovely voice AND bring Fu. SPORK!
    AUSTIN & PUDAKS: Insightful lyrics read like my life. I identified. Catchy vocals.
    IAN & MELISSA: Your sensitive, tasteful song scored well, and this gladdens me 🙂
    TRAVIS NORRIS: Informative AND original. You’ve got some great effects as well.
    GREMLINS: The lyrics – SO good. Solid structure – great tune, excellent performance.
    THE PERFECT PLACE: Y’all blend well, great chemistry – I love duos like this. 🙂
    HIS NAME IS LEGS: You really crafted a compelling song during a difficult collaboration.

  13. Kymm Says:

    It’s only 11.39p on the 31st and I can’t vote! Ah well, I won’t wait until the last minute next round, but honestly, it ain’t 11.59p EST yet.

  14. Kymm Says:

    Wait, yes I can, hooray!

  15. The Perfect Place (Bud) Says:

    @angelariaaaaa show me yourself: appearing hip and clever is more important to me than people remembering anything about our music. actually, your comments have proven the point of the title. you will most likely not forget the title now that you’ve taken the time to analyze it. love it or hate it, the title is quite true if you take a look at some of the song titles being thrown around by popular ‘alternative’ artists.

    but if you don’t get the title, it’s not for you. ;-D judge the song for itself, that’d be more productive for us!

  16. BucketHatBobby Says:

    I wasn’t going to say anything about this, because I didn’t want it to seem like I was making excuses, but since PatMisterovich mentioned my “Not exactly melodic” singing, I think I have to say something.
    I don’t know what I had, but I was very sick during the recording of this song. when I recorded the bass, it wasn’t that bad, because you couldn’t hear me sniffing/coughing, as it was plugged in. The further I worked into the night, the more my medication kicked in, until 20 minutes before deadline, I sent the song to a friend of mine over MSN who responded the following:

    AdamLeMoine Says:
    during the chorus you should put some chords in

    Bobby M Says:
    the bridge?

    AdamLeMoine Says:
    i dunno what to call it. i suck with music
    know what would sound cool
    something like
    spanish guitar
    going
    DUN DUN DUN DUN
    like in a skaish sounding way
    man. i have no clue what i’m saying. you deff hate me right now for not making sense

    AND SO, a guitar part was written and added… why it is out of tune is beyond me… probably due to my intense amounts of medication and the fact that I recorded it, added it, and sent it away in 10 minutes.
    My voice was so messed up that whole weekend.

  17. Twookie Says:

    This has been an intense first round. The songs are all great. Really hard to choose only five.
    Many of the disgruntled sound more frustrated with the system than anything.
    You all did a fantastic job. How am I gonna choose??

  18. Philip Masters Says:

    Lets see if I can lay this to rest…I am a member of a huge app game on myspace called Vampires. I am also a leader of a Clan called The Blood Masters…I sent almost everyone of my vampire clan members to listen to everyone’s music and I am a Caleb Lee devoted fan…but I will tell you more than 100 of my clan members listened to others music and voted for many of the other talented artist’s music on this round. I have listened to each and everyone’s music..and truthfully…its very hard to decide to vote for. Everyone that put there time and effort on this competition are already winners to me! So much talent in these people…I say congrats to everyone that worked there rear ends off to make such beautiful, exciting, and entertaining music for us to listen too. Thank you for the great tunes everyone…your all winners to me!

  19. Lex Vader Says:

    SONG FU 4 ROUND 1 in review

    About the moving parts thing: the bomb, I’d say, was the worst offender. I think the purpose of this rule is to have a truly INANIMATE object. One that doesn’t really DO much. I.E. no robots. Because you could come up with a lot of machines that are easy to write about. I mean, so what if a diary has a clasp or a lock. I don’t think that was the point of the moving parts rule. Pants have a zipper. An ebow has a switch. A guitar stand is adjustable. A raincoat can transform into a car. I don’t think “moving” means “moveable.” Maybe it means “emotionally stirring,” in which case we all fail. But even as far as the bomb goes, I think it depends on the bomb. If you ask me, it kind of fits, because in every movie where there’s an unexploded bomb, the whole point is that it’s sitting there doing absolutely nothing. Also, I don’t think it matters unless the rule-breaking songs somehow manage to be so great that they all get the top votes. Breaking the rules isn’t “cheating” if it doesn’t help you win. There’s always some unintentional rule breaking going on.

    I’ve listened to every Song Fu edition, and this round was probably the best. Because I was in it. *dead stare* Okay, not really. It was a good challenge itself. 1-1 (TV theme) was self indulgent. 1-2 (2-column repeating syllable) was completely off the wall. 1-3 (space oddity) was brilliant, but only two people did it. 2-1 (the moon) was so blah that there was a rule against doing it again this round. 2-2 (inventor dance) was obscure and anachronistic. 2-3 (rufus country ballad) was too restrictive. 2-4 (john williams pop theme) brilliant again, but two entries again. Holiday Special was okay unless you hate Christmas. 3-1 (happy song) turned out a few clichés. 3-2 (10 words) again, pretty restrictive. 3-3 (makes sense title) I’m undecided. 3-4 (multi-part song) was hard but good (that’s what she said), but hardly any shadowers. 4-1 was specific enough that it gave you ideas and kept all the entries similar, but with enough leeway that you had a lot of creative freedom.

    Or maybe I’m COMPLETELY biased. I just think “write about an object” was the best challenge as far as allowing great songs. We’re still in novelty song territory for the most part, but more of them were great this round than in the majority of past editions. Caleblee’s is great if you like that genre (I don’t). I think if Ian & Melissa’s song never existed, I would have felt hollow, become depressed for no explicable reason, and over time wasted away into nothing. So, Ken Plume, you saved a life!

    Let’s just say I would have HATED to do the edition the Rifftones did. Those challenges made me fill my pants, except for the final challenge. I probably could have managed, but… well, I’ll shut up now in case the next challenge makes me wish I had hair to pull out. Such is the risk we take.

  20. Angelastic Says:

    @Bud: I don’t forget the title, but I forget the song… so when I’m looking at the voting form, I see it and think, ‘what was that about again?’ instead of ‘Oh, that’s the song about the _____, I liked that one!’ so I couldn’t vote for it. But plenty of other people did, so good for you.

  21. Russ Rogers Says:

    @Lex, Nice summation. You are allowed (maybe even supposed) to be completely biased. And I agree, this was one of the best Song Fu Rounds on record.

    @Denise, Very classy and insightful ten word reviews. Way to go!

    @Travis, @Misterovich and @Jutze, thanks also for your critiques. I tried to do this several days ago, and my daughter switched off the power-strip on my computer after two and a half hours. I was so profoundly upset by that, I just couldn’t return to the task. Maybe next round. Anyone really curious about my detailed take on their song is welcome to contact me directly. I love to kibitz.

    @Berg and @Caleb Lee, your mature, polite and patient handling of the Voting Kerfuffle reflects well on you both. The same can be said for @BHBobby, you deftly and humorously deflated and put to rest the whole “original song” tizzy. Thanks.

    @Caleb Hines and @Travis Norris, you guys at the very least NEED a MySpace, YouTube and/or twitter account. They are FREE! It physically pains me that you aren’t building a fan following on the Internet some place outside of Song Fu. I want to be in your social network. I want to be your fan! I just don’t know where to go and sign up!

    I’m really pleased that this round got more than 200 comments and that even with minor disputes, the vast majority of them are respectful, positive, friendly and constructive! Seriously, I learned stuff about my song (ways to make it better) that hadn’t occurred to me. Thanks to everyone who mentioned “Bad Penny,” whether you liked it, didn’t like it or just couldn’t get it out of your head. I appreciate anyone taking the time to thoughtfully listen, comment and/or vote. It feels good to be noticed.

    Finally, thanks again to the other Godz Poodl, Rod Durre. Working with a friend has made this Song Fu exponentially more fun.

    Hopefully we’ll see you all in Song Fu #4, Round 2. Rock on!

  22. Travis Norris Says:

    @Russ: Haha, thanks for the encouragement. I should have the Myspace/Facebook/Twitter/Sign on the highway (okay maybe not that last one) ball rolling by the time voting opens for next round.

    I used to have a music site, many years ago (anybody remember IUMA? ….no?) and the main reason I haven’t made one since is because I’ve been a part writer/hired gun guitarist/lazy bum ever since, and haven’t written and recorded anything I was comfortable submitting to the public. Joining this contest was sort of a way to break that spell. But anyway, thanks for reminding me, and it’ll be done soon. 🙂

  23. Russ Rogers Says:

    @Jalepeno Habeneros and @The Gremlins, You also NEED some kind of Internet presence outside the pages of Song Fu. What I said about Caleb and Travis also goes for you guys too!

    Having more kinds of Web Presence is almost like signing your name to your work here. It lends an air of authority and credibility. It makes you more “real” if you make your virtual selves more accessible.

    I’m considering building a separate MySpace presence for GöDZ PööDLZ. I’m convincing myself that it’s important.

  24. The Perfect Place (Bud) Says:

    @angel: while i understand what you mean [and continue to disagree], wasn’t our song 2nd to last on the playlist? was it that unmemorable that you forgot it after just one other song? ;-P besides, the only way you’d have known the full title is if you read the lyrics, so methinks you just don’t care for the title. which is totally fine. still looking forward to what you think of the song. but i digress.

    @lex: i didn’t think about the bomb being disqualified because it was a bit of a technological advancement containing moving parts and all. i think your rationalization of it is good and i don’t think i’d consider it an offender. ;-P however, some of the songs definitely didn’t follow the challenge rules, as they are merely songs about an inanimate object whereas the challenge was to write a song from the perspective of said object. sadly, i would say that [while i absolutely love the song], the bad penny song is the worst offender in that respect. ;-P

    still, i wouldn’t get hung up on rules and regulations, as it’s all in the name of fun and creativity. ;-D

  25. The Perfect Place (Bud) Says:

    retraction! upon further review of the lyrics, i now realize why i made the mistake of judging ‘bad penny’ as not being from the perspective of the object – the subject was plural. so basically, i am to understand that this song is being sung by a group of pennies clamoring for attention and decrying human mistreatment…

    wow, that’s even more clever than i thought. ;-D cheers, poodlz!

  26. Caleb H Says:

    @Russ:
    I think this is a bit like the chicken and the egg. I have no where to send people, but no one to send there if I did. Now that I’ve gotten one, I guess I’ll have to fill in the other :-). It’s funny, because I was considering spending this summer either focusing on music or on internet presence. I chose music as the more constructive activity, not realizing that it would lead to the other!

    I didn’t bother to mention these when I signed up because they are basically empty shells, but see below.

    My Youtube channel, but there’s very little here, and nothing Song Fu related (yet):
    http://www.youtube.com/user/cph9fa

    My totally empty “blog” — I’ve *never ever* posted here (yet):
    http://refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com/

    You can also find me talking over on the JoCo Forums.
    http://www.jonathancoulton.com/forums/

    To Do List:
    – Actually write a post or two on the blog.
    – Put up Song Fu entries on youtube (and other stuff).
    – Get a “Facebook” thingy??
    – Get a “Twitter” thingy??
    – Link them all together, and then get Ken to add a link to them from my bio.

  27. Caleb H Says:

    Update – I made my first blog post tonight. Hello World!

  28. Angelastic Says:

    @Bud: I downloaded them and listened to them in random order, several times over a few days. The mp3 has the full title, it’s only the Song Fu page that doesn’t have it.

  29. The Perfect Place (Bud) Says:

    @angela: ahh, that makes sense then. ;-D

  30. Rod Durre Says:

    @The Perfect Place. “A Bad Penny” is written from the perspective of a penny which has been saved (with a group of other pennies) until devaluation has caused it to be worth less than the metal it’s made from. Just as one member of a group can bemoan the injustice his/her group has suffered, this penny is speaking for all of pennykind ; ) (“You saved us and cursed us, and now we’re nearly worthless”; “We were the lifeblood of this nation”, etc)

    Thanks for the kind words, Bud!

  31. Lex Vader Says:

    The more I think about it, the more I think the worst offense was to write from the perspective of an object about a PERSON. That inherently makes the person the subject, not the object.

    @perfectplace, frankly, I do think an acoustic song about an envelope is pretty unmemorable. I guess a clever title worked for you in the end, but it makes more sense to remind people of the lyrics. Who needs Morrissey’s book-length song titles when it’s hard enough to remember which one “Suedehead” is?

  32. Duduong Says:

    Hey Red Head Girl- great singing and nice guitar playing! We enjoy listening to you singing… good harmony too.
    -M&J in Westport,CT

  33. A. Weishaupt Says:

    Re: Celestial Objects

    The rule is vague enough that you all have broken it.

    Isn’t Earth itself a celestial object? So, a rock being a direct part of our planet is somehow exempt? What about any object that is made of atoms directly from or around said planet/star/quark/nebula/comet? That might include… what.. everything on it?

    Sorry to have brought this to light. You are all disqualified. 😉

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